3 journal of azerbaijani studies in search of 'khazar

16. Revolt

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June proved to be a very hot month for us. All our meaningful and exciting days full of newspaper and television advertisements, student and parent appeals suddenly were replaced by the order of the joint, commission of the Ministry of Education and Institute of the National Economy Management to stop our activities. "After long consultations" it was decided to include five people into the commission: three officials from the Ministry of Education, the rector of the Institute of National Economy Management and myself, the head of the new university.

Four of those that had signed the document had no doubts that I would sign it too. The Soviet ways of believing that everybody always has the same opinion was applied in this situation. The Soviet society did not forgive those "who opposed the society".

But I was not going to give up my work or leave it incomplete. For some reason I had a firm belief in the future of this university. It was my vocation and my duty to make this idea become a reality. I could not leave it, it was in my blood and soul. There was only one way left -to rebel.

The revolt was inevitable. I would never sign this statement, no matter what the consequences were likely to be. I would not be satisfied with this situation and I would attack. A great politician said

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"to be always in defense will sooner or later bring you to defeat". I different feelings in me. Sometimes it is tranquil, its waves are kissing

one another, its shades are emerald and blue, the sun rays and the
moon light dance smoothly in its waters and give rise to the most
beautiful dreams. Sometimes it is dark and unattainable, angry and
inconsistent and it makes me drunk with sadness and nostalgia, makes
me feel powerless. Sometimes all these feelings unite and create a
feeling close to anxiety. I spent a few hours looking at the sea. I left all
my confused feelings, fears and dreams at the seaside and returned
home. «