| What is love, chemically speaking?
I try to distinguish between romantic attraction and romantic attachment because I think they're chemically distinct. The symptoms of attraction -falling in love - are very much like what happens when you take an artificial stimulant. Your heart beats faster, your energy goes up, you feel optimistic. There are certain chemicals in the brain - phenylethylamine (PEA) is one - that produce the same effect when released.
What, then, is the basis for romantic attachment? What keeps us together?
There is an area in the lower brain called the locus ceruleus where feelings of panic and separation anxiety seem to begin. There are certain brain chemicals, called endorphins, that slow down the activity of the locus ceruleus. I believe that we're programmed at birth to produce endorphins when we're in close relationships. It's nature's way of keeping us together. When the relationship ends or when we're afraid that it might end, the production of endorphins stops and we're thrown into a panic.
Why do people grow tired of each other?
What's intense in a relationship is the newness. That's why the great romances of literature are never between people who stay together. Romeo and Juliet, for example, never had a chance to get used to each other.
Why does being in love make everything in life seem wonderful?
Our pleasure centers need a minimum level of stimulation to function. Love lowers this level. When we're in love, it takes less stimulation to give us pleasure. That's why everything feels possible when you're in love, why everything looks more beautiful.
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