Chosen Islamic Manners
'If one seeks permission from one who is performing prayers, the praying person should say ‘Subhanallah’, and the woman should clap her hands.'
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'If one seeks permission from one who is performing prayers, the praying person should say ‘Subhanallah’, and the woman should clap her hands.' (Baihaqi) *Abu Dawood, may Allah have mercy on him, mentioned under the chapter of jesting that Auf b. Malik al-Ash'ja'ee () said: 'I came to the Messenger of Allah () during the Battle of Tabuk and he was sitting under a tent, I gave Salam and sought permission to enter, and he said: 'Enter.' I asked: ‘Shall I enter entirely?’ He said: 'Enter entirely' so I entered. (Abu Dawood) Manners of Hospitality *Being hospitable to one's guest is compulsory. The Messenger of Allah () said: 'Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day let him be kind to his guest.' (Bukhari) One should be hospitable and kind to his guest for three days. The Prophet () said: "Hospitality should be extended to a guest for three days. His gift is that he be extended one day and one night. One should not stay with his brother until he has nothing left to offer him.' (Muslim) *It is appropriate for one to welcome his guests. It is narrated on the authority of Ibn Abbas () that he said: 'When the delegation of Abdul-Qais came to the Prophet (), he said: 'Marhaba (i.e. welcome) O delegation! You have come to me and shall neither be ashamed nor sorrowful.' (Bukhari) *One should accept the invitation of one who invites him. The Prophet () said: 'Whoever does not accept an invitation has certainly disobeyed Allah and His Messenger.' (Bukhari) He () also said: 'The rights of a Muslim over his fellow Muslim are five,’ and he mentioned 'accepting his invitation.' (Bukhari) Some scholars have mentioned certain conditions whereby an invitation must be accepted. 1. The one extending the invitation must not be one of those whom it is a must upon a Muslim to boycott. 2. There should be no falsehood or evil in the place the invitation is being held. 3. The one extending the invitation must be a Muslim. 4. The one extending the invitation must be among those who earn their money through lawful sources. Some Scholars say that if he extends an invitation, the sin will fall only upon him. This is unlike the unlawfulness of wine, for the one who drinks it, as well as the one who buys it, will be liable for punishment. 5. Accepting the invitation should not lead one to missing a compulsory act. 6. The invitation must not, in any way, harm the one who has accepted it. *Some scholars state that there are four things which are compulsory upon the guest. 1st: He should sit wherever he is told to sit. 2nd: One should not stand up except with the permission of the host. 3rd: One should be happy and pleased with whatever he is given. 4th: He should make Du'aa for the host when he leaves. *Imam Ibn al-Jozi, may Allah have mercy on him, said: 'Of the manners one should abide by during a visit is that the guest should not suggest that a certain type of food be served. If he is given the choice between two types of food, he should choose the one that is easier to prepare, unless he knows that the host will happily prepare either for him. *Fasting should not prevent one from accepting an invitation. The Messenger of Allah () said: 'If one of you is invited, let him accept the invitation. If he is fasting let him continue his fast and if he is not fasting, let him eat.' (Muslim) *The Prophet () approached Abdullah b. Amr () and he spread a rug for him to sit on, which was filled with leaves, and he sat on the ground.' (Agreed Upon) *If someone tags along with one who is invited, the guest should seek permission for him as is stated in the hadeeth of Abdullah b. Masood (). There was a man among the Ansar who was known as Abu Shuaib. He had a slave boy who worked as a blacksmith. He said: ‘prepare a meal and invite the Messenger () along with five others.’ The servant called them and a man followed the Messenger of Allah () and he said: 'Although you invited five of us, there is one who followed us. If you wish, you may give him permission, and if not you want, you may prevent him. He said: 'Nay, I give him permission to enter along with you.' (Bukhari) *One should not go out of proportion when taking care of their guests. Going out of proportion is determined by one's customs and norms of society. The Prophet () said: 'Do not go out of proportion to entertain your guests.' (Saheeh al-Jami) *One should only enter another’s home with permission and one should leave the host's house after eating the meal that is served. One may remain behind if the host wants him to remain behind. Allah says: O you who believe! Enter not the Prophet's houses, except when leave is given to you for a meal, (and then) not (so early as) to wait for its preparation. But when you are invited, enter, and when you have taken your meal, disperse, without sitting for a talk. Verily, such (behaviour) annoys the Prophet, and he is shy of (asking) you (to go), but Allah is not shy of (telling you) the truth. (33:53) *The elderly should be given priority, then those who are to the right. When people were being given water, the Prophet () would say: ‘Start with the elderly.’ (Abu Ya’la) The Prophet () said: ‘Whoever does not have mercy on the young, nor respects the elderly is not from us.’ (Bukhari) Sheik Al-Albani, may Allah have mercy on him, thereafter mentioned the hadeeth of Ibn Umar () in which the Prophet () said:
In the hadeeth of Rafi' b. Khadeej () and Sahl b. Abi Harthmah, Abdurrahman b. Sahl () who was the youngest among his people started to talk before the elderly who were in his company. The Prophet () said: 'Let the elderly talk.' (Abu Dawood) Al-Muhallab, may Allah have mercy on him, said: 'Precedence should be given to the elder as long as they are not seated. If the people are seated, then in that case the Sunnah is to give precedence to those who are seated to the right.' (Al-A’haad wal-Ma’thaani) Sheik Al-Albani, may Allah have mercy on him, mentioned the hadeeth of Abdullah b. Abi Habeebah () in which Abdullah was asked: 'What have you learnt from the Prophet ()?' He said: 'The Prophet () came to Masjid Qubaa while I was a child, and I sat on his right side and Abu Bakr () sat to his left. He then asked for something to drink and he handed it to me (after he finished drinking from it) for I was sitting to his right. He then stood up and prayed, he prayed with his shoes on.' Sheik Al-Albani, may Allah have mercy on him, said in this there is a proof that the one who is serving should start from his right side, even if he is not the eldest or most knowledgeable of those in the circle. It was narrated that the Prophet () drank something, and a Bedouin was to his right, and Abu Bakr () was to his left and Umar () was seated in front of him. Umar () beckoned the Messenger of Allah () to give the drink to Abu Bakr () but he refused and gave it to the Bedouin. He () then said: 'Begin with those who are on the right, begin with those who are on the right, begin with those who are on the right.' (As-Silsilah as-Saheehah) *The guest should supplicate Allah for the host: ‘Aftara in'dakom as-Saa'imoon wa akala ta'aa'makom al-Abraar wa sal'lat alaikum al-Malaa'ikah' Meaning: May the ones who fast break their fast with you, and the pious eat your food, and the angels pray for blessing on you. …or 'Allahumma at'im man at'a'mana was-qee man asqaanee' Meaning: O Allah, feed him who fed me, and provide with drink him who provided me with drink. …or 'Allahumma barik la’hom feema razaqtahom wagh’fir lahum war'ham'hom.’ Meaning: O Allah, bless them in that which You have provided them, forgive them and have mercy upon them. *It is praiseworthy for one not to stare at the one who is sitting next to him. If someone is in a greater need than him, he should favor that individual over himself. If someone is standing, he should ask him to sit. *The guests and the host may serve each other. The host may provide special food to some of the guests as long as no one will feel hurt. It is lawful for the one who is given this by the host to accept it. *One should provide whatever he has to the guests without going out of proportion. One should not seek permission from his guests to serve them. *The host should smile in the faces of his guests. *The host should entertain his guests, so that they do not become bored, nor regret accepting his invitation. The host should not indulge in talk which frightens the guests or makes them feel uneasy. He should try his best to make them feel at home. *One should call his guests, with the most pleasant of words, to eat a meal. Allah says in the story of Ibraheem: Then he turned to his household, and brought out a roasted calf, and placed it before them, (saying): "Will you not eat? (51:26-7) *One should make sure that the guests can easily reach the food. Allah says: and (he) placed it before them… (51:27) *One should agree with the host to eat when he calls him to a meal. One should not ask the host for anything in his residence except for the direction of the Qiblah, and the restroom. One should not look towards the section where the women reside. One should not sit in a place other than that in which the host seats him. One should wash his hands before the meal. *One should not repeatedly look at the kitchen or pantry where the food is being prepared. *The host should offer the food as quickly as possible to the guests, for this is a sure sign that he honors his guests. *Imam Ibn al-Jozi, may Allah have mercy on him, said: 'One should not rush his companion by saying to him: 'eat'. He should not do something which disgusts his companions. He should not put his hand in the food plate. If he takes something out of his mouth, he should turn his face away from the food plate and remove it from his mouth with his left hand. He should not put the rest of the food which is in his hand back into the gravy. One should not place an oily portion of food into vinegar or pickles or vice versa, for others may be disgusted with this.' *One should not repeatedly look at the faces of those who are eating. *The host should not abruptly leave until all his guests have eaten their fill. *Eating on the ground is better than eating on a table. It is narrated that Anas b. Malik () said: 'The Prophet () did not eat on a table nor did he ever eat moist bread.' (Bukhari) *It is praiseworthy for the host to walk with the guest to the door. Abu Ubaid al-Qasim b. Sal'laam visited Imam Ahmed, may Allah have mercy on them both, and Abu Ubaid said: 'When I wanted to leave the house, Imam Ahmed stood up with me.' I told him: 'Don't, O Abu Abdullah.' Imam ash-Sha'bi said: 'Of the manners of excellency during a visit is that one should walk with the guest to the door.' *The host should call pious people to his home. The Messenger of Allah () said: 'Accompany only him who is pious, and let no one but a pious eat your food.' (Abu Dawood) *One should not only invite the rich, and leave out the poor. Abu Hurairah () said: 'The worst type of food is that which only the rich are invited to eat from, while no poor are invited. Whoever accepts this invitation, has certainly disobeyed Allah and His Messenger ().' *The guest should leave the house of the host while he is content. He should overlook and forgive the host for any of his shortcomings. *One should try his best not to be a burden on the host. Allah says: and when you have taken your meal, disperse. (33:53) Manners of the Sitting Place *One should entice others who attend a sitting to remember Allah, the Exalted. One should refrain from sittings in which the name of Allah is not mentioned. The Prophet () said: 'No people leave a sitting while not having mentioned the name of Allah therein but will be similar to a people who finished eating from a carcass of a donkey, and they will feel sorrowful.' (Abu Dawood) *One should include in his sitting reminders, with which he can remind the people. In the two Saheeh, it is narrated that Ibn Masood () would remind the people every Thursday. A man said: 'O Abu Abdurrahmaan, we love your talk, we wish you talked to us everyday. He said: 'The only thing that prevents me from that is the fear that I will bore you. The Messenger of Allah () would give us reminders from time to time out of fear that he would bore us.' *One should choose a proper companion. The Prophet () said: 'A man is on the religion of his companion; so let one of you choose his companion appropriately.' (Abu Dawood) *One should give Salam when they attend or leave a sitting. The Prophet () said: 'If one of you reaches the sitting place, let him sit if he wishes and if he wants to leave let him give Salam, for one should give salam upon joining or parting from a sitting.' (At-Tirmidthi) *One should not ask an individual to leave his spot and then sit in his place. The Prophet () forbade that one make another leave his place of sitting and then sit in that spot; rather, people should make space for their brothers.' (Bukhari) Ibn Umar () hated that a man stand up from his place in the sitting area to seat another in that place. *One should make space in the sitting to accommodate his brothers. Allah, the Exalted, says: O you who believe! When you are told to make room in the assemblies, (spread out and) make room. Allah will give you (ample) room (from His Mercy)… (58:11) *It is unlawful to separate between two who are sitting next to each other. The Prophet () said: 'It is not lawful for one to separate between two who are seated next to each other unless one takes their permission.' (Abu Dawood) *One should sit at the end of the sitting area if the sitting area is full. Jabir b. Samorah () said: 'Whenever we came to the Prophet () we would sit at the end of the sitting place.' Ibn Umar () would not sit in a place if a person stood up to give him.' *The best of sitting places is that which has a large area. Abdurrahmaan b. Abi Umrah al-Ansari () said: 'Abu Sa'eed al-Khudri () was informed of a Jinazah, and he delayed in attending, until people took their places. He then came forward, and when the people saw him, some got up to give him their seat. He said: 'No, I have heard that the Messenger of Allah () say: ‘The best sitting place is that which has the largest area.' (Abu Dawood) He then sat in an area which was more spacious.'
d. One should not talk to someone privately while they are in the presence of a third. The Prophet () said: 'Two should not confer with each other and talk privately in the presence of the third, for this will sadden him.' (Bukhari & Muslim) *One should not belch in front of others. It has been affirmed that a man belched in the presence of the Prophet () and he said: 'Stop this! Those who eat the most in this life will be most hungry on the Day of Resurrection.' (At-Tirmidthi) *One should not gawk at others in the sitting place. *One should not stretch their legs while in the presence of others, except if there is a valid reason for this. *Imam al-Bukhari, may Allah have mercy on him, said: 'Chapter: What is hated during night sittings after the Isha prayer?' He then mentioned the hadeeth of Abu Barzah al-Aslami (): 'The Prophet () disliked sleeping before the Isha prayer and indulging in idle talk after it.' What is meant by night sittings here are the night sittings which are spent in a lawful thing. An unlawful thing will not be regarded as 'disliked', rather as ‘unlawful’. Spending time to do an unlawful thing is unlawful regardless of the time or place! Umar b. Al-Khattab () would beat people for spending their time like this, and he would say: 'Will you spend the beginning of the night idly and the end of it sleeping?' (Tirmidthi) *It is praiseworthy that one end the sitting with the Kaf'faarah of the Majlis, for the Messenger of Allah () said: 'Whoever sits in a sitting place in which he committed some sins and then said before getting up to leave: 'Subhanaka Al'laahum'ma wa be'hamdika ash-hadu an-Laa ilaahah il'la anta wa astagh-fe'roka wa atoobo ilaika' Allah will forgive him and expiate his sins which he committed during that sitting. (Bukhari) Meaning: Far removed are You from every imperfection, O Allah! I begin with your praise; I bear witness that there is no god but You; I ask your forgiveness and turn to you in repentance. Manners of Speech *It is appropriate for a Muslim to safeguard himself and not speak foolishly. Imam Ahmed narrated that the Messenger of Allah () said: 'A man will speak with a word which will cause people to laugh in a sitting, but will cast him into the Fire further than the distance between earth and the Thuraya36 constellation in the heavens.' (Ahmed) *If you intend to speak, speak good or don't speak at all! Abu Hurairah () said that the Messenger of Allah () said: 'Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good words or remain silent.' (Bukhari) *A good word is a type of charity. Abu Hurairah () narrated that the Messenger of Allah () said: 'All the joints in a person’s body have charity upon them. Every day in which the sun rises and one is just between two litigants, he is doing an act of charity; if he helps a man climb his mount or raises his things to him, he is doing an act of charity; every step one takes to prayer is an act of charity; and one does an act of charity whenever he removes something harmful from the road.’ (Bukhari) A good word will distance one from the Hell-Fire. Adi b. Hatim () said that the Prophet () remembered the torment of the Hell-Fire and then turned his face and sought refuge with Allah from its torment. He () then said: 'Safeguard yourselves from the Fire even by giving out half a date for the sake of Allah. If one cannot find this, then let him say a good word.' (Bukhari & Muslim) *It is praiseworthy that one speak less, for indeed talking too much will certainly lead one to sin. The Messenger of Allah () said: 'The most hateful of you to me and those among you who will be seated farthest from me on the Day of Resurrection are the Ath-Tharthaaroon (those who speak too much in an affected manner) Al-Mutashadiqoon (those who feign eloquence; one way they do that is in the exaggerated movement of their mouth when they speak) and al-Mutafaihiqoon.’ The Companions () said: ‘O Messenger of Allah () we know the meaning of Ath-Tharthaaroon and Al-Mutashadiqoon, but who are the al-Mutafaihiqoon? He () said: ‘They are the arrogant.’ (At-Tirmidthi) *One should not backbite or gossip. Allah, the Exalted, says: …neither backbite one another. (49:12) *It is lawful for one to ‘backbite’ in six situations: a. It is lawful for the one who is wronged to inform a judge or a ruler of the oppression he faced from a certain individual. b. If one informs others of a certain matter, while having the intention of changing that evil. c. If one wants to seek a legal verdict, he may say: ‘so and so wronged me by doing this and that.' d. It is lawful to warn Muslims of evil and to give them advice (one’s intention should be solely to give advice).' e. If one is openly displaying his sinful acts and Bid'ah (religious innovations). f. If one is known with a certain title such as ‘the blind’, ‘the one who limps’ it is lawful to call him by this. Bear in mind it is unlawful for one to call an individual by these titles if they are used to scoff, belittle or disrespect that individual. - Things which one should be aware of when ‘legally’ backbiting someone: 1. One should be sincere. 2. One should not name a person when doing this; in other words, one should talk in general terms. 3. One should be sure that no greater evil will result on account of legal backbiting. - Reasons that lead people to backbiting: 1. Anger. One should recall the words of the Prophet (): 'Whoever suppresses his anger while he is able to harm the other, Allah will call him in front of all creation on the Day of Resurrection, so that he can choose of the Hoor al-Een whomever he wishes.' (Abu Dawood) 2. One may indulge in this bad habit when accompanying his friends. One should remember the Hadeeth of the Messenger of Allah (): ‘Whoever seeks to appease people by angering Allah, Allah will make him dependant upon the people.’ (At-Tirmidthi) 3. Wanting to be respected. The cure for this is that one must know that the ultimate prize is with Allah. 4. Jesting and playing. The Messenger of Allah () said: 'Woe to him who talks and lies to make people laugh…woe to him…woe to him.' (Abu Dawood) Yüklə 1,24 Mb. Dostları ilə paylaş:
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