Defining Moments

PERSONAL NOTE JUNE 11, 2012:

Today I woke up feeling close to normal as normal can be without Danielle next to me. Today I am eager for June 13, 2012. I will be standing in front of a lot of people reading my poetry work.

In my life I have seen a darkness that no person should have endure. I have witnessed such death of those I have loved. I was raised in a cruel environment. I have seen the eyes of those dying knowing that they would never make to the time I now live in. My soul feeling the pain of love, and its touch upon my soul. The tragedy of this relationship with Danielle does not lie in the fact she broke up with me. The tragedy is not that she needed time and space and would have not come back. THE TRAGEDY is that I found out from her new girlfriend she was with someone else, that all those promises were a lie because she for whatever reason abandoned me.

Now I must move forward to find my own way. Her lack of talking to me denotes the kind of woman that she is.

Journal, I am not the same woman I was. Nor will I ever be that woman ever again. I will not trust love either so easily. I hear the words within my soul that speak a truth that I have known all my life,

“Rise up child now, Woman thou art in the mirror,

Become the sheath of words that look upon you,

Dust the ashes off and become the light from the darkness you were in

Rise up and take to a new level.”

I have decided to use these words as the ending of the literary piece that I am doing for the Black Women Unite forum.

Currently I am writing and sitting at the bar downtown that I always go to. The sunset is colored with purple, and pink. I looked into the clouds and smile. I have not done this in a long time. Looking around remembering how just a few chairs over, was where I met Danielle in person for the first date. Danielle looked so beautiful with that white silk blouse. I look into the pub remembering the night she stood there in front of my friends. Danielle said she had been dating me for two months and that we were in love. This personal torture is growing old.