Defining Moments

PERSONAL NOTE JUNE 19^th, 2012:

Soon I will be 40 years old.

I sit at this table outside of work on break. This job is souless. I feel the wind on my face, the very motion of the wind and smile. There is a strong air of change. I know that I am not welcomed at this job that I returned to. I returned because it was what I knew. It is a matter of time before I leave to my real destiny. A woman walks by wearing a blue necklace and I remembered the time that I gave Danielle a sapphire necklace for our second month anniversary.

She looked at me and said,

“Honey people only celebrate stuff like this when it’s a year.”

I remember my response,

“Every day should be a celebration. Not just a year,” I responded

“Why?” Danielle asked.

“Because when you have seen what I have seen, you will learn that

A rose blooming is beautiful.”

Tonight I will go home do dishes, laundry, and feed my cat Mr. Sky. PERSONAL NOTE JUNE 20^th, 2012

Earlier in the evening I had coffee with my friend that I call the voice of reason. I call her that because she has really helps me understand about the hidden things about people.

“Danielle was a user Kat” she said.

Every time I heard that makes my skin crawl. It chides at me because I know that what she speaks is true. I respond with,

“I wonder if Danielle knew that I worked 100 hours a week to buy my car so she could have mine? That I took on a G.M. that called me a stupid bitch for loving a woman? Or I tried to go on a spiritual quest to show her that true love is possible?”

She shakes her head,

“No Kat she doesn’t nor did she care. She didn’t even call you back

when you called her during the fire at your place.”

I sighed as I lit my cigarette.

“I know Kat that you want to believe in the goodness of people. That

you don’t understand that there is still cruelty. You believe when others don’t. She was a user.”

I look at my wise friend,

“I know. I will not stop believing in people - just Danielle. There is

hope for people. I know this.”

We hug each other and continue talking for another two hours.