Ephesians

4. A difference in authority. Finally, the Lord says, “The Father is greater than I” (John 14:28). In words full of mystery, Jesus suggests that even though He and the Father are identified with each other, cooperate with each other, and honor each other, there is a difference of authority. “I always do what pleases him,” says Jesus in John 8:29.

So the four elements of headship are interpreted for us by Christ: (1) identity as to nature, (2) cooperation as to work, (3) honor as to person, and (4) subservience as to final decisions. That is headship. That is what it should mean to a wife to be subject to her husband.

No doubt, some wives reading this would protest, “But you don’t know the kind of brute I live with! How far am I supposed to take this ‘submission’ business?” Paul answers that in Ephesians 5:24: “Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” That’s the answer: wives are to submit to their husbands in everything.

This is not to say that there aren’t exceptions to this rule. There are husbands who abuse drugs or alcohol, and pose a danger to their wife and children. There are husbands who commit violence against their wife and children. There are husbands who demand that their wife do things that are morally wrong, such as telling lies, filing false returns with the IRS, or cutting corners in business. Obviously, a wife should not submit to any immoral demands of a husband.

Remember, the wife’s primary duty is to Christ, even before her husband. She is to submit to Christ first, and if submission to her husband ever comes in conflict with submission to Christ, then obedience to Christ and His moral leadership takes precedence. Barring such extreme situations, however, the wife is to allow the husband to make final decisions, and she is to respect those decisions.