Ephesians

Unilateral Obedience

The final point the apostle makes here is given in Ephesians 5:33: “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Notice that he puts this on the basis of each person in the marriage relationship fulfilling his or her responsibility to Christ, regardless of what the other does. That is the key. We are not to withhold our obedience until the other obeys. We are to obey these principles, just as Christ was obedient to the Father, giving Himself up for the church even while we were still estranged from Him.

I have seen Christ-like unilateral obedience work wonders in marriage relationships. Husbands and wives have been brought together, harmony has been restored in bitterly divided homes, grace and peace has been brought to homes that were once battlegrounds.

So this is the key to Christian marriage: Husbands, “each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33). This is the pattern that was given to us by our Lord Jesus Christ.