Get Christmas right: Brooklyn Brewery on the eponymous 12 days…

Get Christmas right: Brooklyn Brewery on the eponymous 12 days…
11 January y: Winter is hard; it’s cold and it goes on for a very long time. But – there is something to break up the monotony of the darkening daylight hours. Say it in your best Slade-esque voice: IT’S CHRIIIIIIIIISTMAS! Whether you love it or hate it, it doesn’t matter ‘cause it’s happening – the festival of the little baby Jesus is upon us. And with that, Brooklyn Brewery takes a look at the top nine elements for a hipster Christmas…
Christmas Jumpers and ugly decorations

We’ve all seen them; perhaps this year you can embrace them? Remember, if you’re to take hold of this new fangled Christmas fad you must adorn yourself, your house or your tree ironically, nestled in a thin veil of obscurity. Baubles for the tree should be almost completely unrelated to Christmas – think tiny dogs, slices of pizza or very, very tacky Santas if you insist on a little bit of relevance to your decs. The same applies for jumpers. If they’re homemade and unapologetically ugly, you’re on the right track.

Be Beardy Beautiful

What a time of year to showcase that most wonderful of things; a great array of facial hair. Get in on the festivities with a jinglebeard – you can now acquire speciality baubles just to hang on the hairs that sprout from your chinny chin chin. Not up for that one? Grab a comb, some wax and a pair of scissors and shape your beard into a Christmas tree or pudding. Alternatively, do none of those things and chuckle under your breath at those that do.

The importance of a perfect wall

Remember to always consider the photo opp. Yes, we’re talking about the perfectly arranged Instagram wall. You need to be conscious of the pitfalls with this one; Christmas is full of reds and greens. Do not fall into the trap of making your posts this soul crushingly simple – jazz it up friends, jazz it up. Take some inspo from the hideous and obscure decs and jumpers – think blues, pinks and glitter. Christmas is made for it. Make sure your beardy friends feature too.

What about the presents?!

Go all out alternative this year and don’t buy for anyone except yourself. No, just kidding… maybe. Pimp up that Instagram wall with a lomo camera – it’s got to be done. Go further with turntables, artsy books and thrift store finds. You will be the envy of those around you. As long as you arrange your items in the most aesthetically pleasing way and take hundreds of photos so you can share them with the folk off the internet that you don’t know.

The Alternative Egg Nog

We said it was cold. Therefore you need protection from the elements. You need something that you can layer on for any occasion. Enter: Brooklyn Insulated Dark Lager. A dark lager you say? Why, yes. Roasty enough to keep you toasty in these darkest of times yet smooth enough to have whenever you feel like it. It’s got “grip” – get that on your flavour wheel – keeping everything tight, dry, clean, and electric with just enough bite. If you feel the inclination, listen to “Safe From Harm” by Massive Attack whilst sipping for an added dimension.

All I want for Christmas is choons – oooh baby!

Remember when Rage against the Machine got to Christmas No. 1 all the way back in 2009? Take that spirit, people! Don’t be swayed by the adverts and department store jolly tunes, create your own festive playlist. It doesn’t really matter what’s on it, as long as it’s obscure. And you play it loud. Like, really loud.

What about the food?!

Certainly, the logical next step from thinking about beer is thinking about food. Embrace the alternatives this year - sod the turkey - pizza, cheeses, meats and hamburgers are the way to go and you know what? Bacon, prosciutto, ham sandwiches, beef stew, oysters, cassoulet, and cheesecake go so well with Insulated Lager. Have it all; it’s Christmas. You could even have some roasted Brussels sprouts, again, if you must. Salad, not so much.

‘Twas Christmas Eve, and all through the house…

Was the sound of Bruce Willis shouting “Yipee-kai-ay [insert expletive yourself]!”. And that is how it should remain. The definitive Christmas movie, if ever we saw one – get your Die Hard on this year. Need something a bit more tradish to whet your appetite? There’s always the bonkers Elf, creepy-but-awesome Nightmare Before Christmas or – and we say this with tears in our eyes – Miracle on 34^th Street. Yes, the 1947 version – we’re not simpletons.

Santa – I know him!

Poor dude – he’s in for a loooong night. And what’s worse he’s got to face the monotony of mince pies and sherry at every single house he visits. What’s that about? Don’t get us wrong, we love a tipple of the dry stuff and a pastry is always welcome, but why not mix it up a little? How about coconut water and Cronuts? Macaroons? Damnit, retro Party Rings?! Rudolph can still have a carrot. It’d just be ridiculous to offer him anything else.

And there it is. Beer, food, tacky jumpers and solid music. What else do you need for a banging Christmas time?
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For further information about Brooklyn Brewery please contact Alice Franks, Adam Worrall or Louise Watson-Dowell on 0113 2429 174 or email: [e-mail]