Literature Online, Full text dictionariesC. O. D. Webster'sShakespearecombined
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10 that the boys stayed away from them; 11 they were terrified of Irene and 12 Louise 13 who weren't aloof at all, 14 even friendlier than most 15 but 16 who seemed to dress a bit 17 differently than the other 18 girls: 19 they always wore high heels, 20 silk stockings, 21 blouses, 22 skirts, 23 new outfits 24 each day; 25 and, 26 one afternoon 27 my buddy, Baldy, and I followed them 28 home from school; 29 you see, we were kind of 30 the bad guys on the grounds 31 so it was 32 more or less 33 expected,
35 it was something: 36 walking along ten or twelve feet behind them; 37 we didn't say anything 38 we just followed 39 watching 40 their voluptuous swaying, 41 the balancing of the 42 haunches. 43 we liked it so much that we 44 followed them home from school 45 every 46 day. 47 when they'd go into their house 48 we'd stand outside on the sidewalk 49 smoking cigarettes and talking. 50 "someday," I told Baldy, 51 "they are going to invite us inside their 52 house and they are going to 53 fuck us." 54 "you really think so?" 55 "sure." 56 now 57 50 years later 58 I can tell you 59 they never did 60 ---never mind all the stories we 61 told the guys; 62 yes, it's the dream that
64 then and 65 now. [Page 256] Bukowski, Charles:fractional note [from You Get So Alone At Times That It Just Makes Sense (1986), Black Sparrow Press] 1 the flowers are burning 2 the rocks are melting 3 the door is stuck inside my head 4 it's one hundred and two degrees in Hollywood 5 and the messenger stumbles 6 dropping the last message into a 7 hole in the earth 8 400 miles deep. 9 the movies are worse than ever 10 and the dead books of dead men read dead. 11 the white rats run the treadmill. 12 the bars stink in swampland darkness 13 as the lonely unfulfill the lonely. 14 there's no clarity. 15 there was never meant to be clarity. 16 the sun is diminishing, they say. 17 wait and see. 18 gravy barks like a dog. 19 if I had a grandmother 20 my grandmother could whip your 21 grandmother. 22 free fall. 23 free dirt. 24 shit costs money. 25 check the ads for sales ... 26 now everybody is singing at once 27 terrible voices
29 hours of practice. 30 it's almost entirely waste. 31 regret is mostly caused by not having 32 done anything. 33 the mind barks like a dog. 34 pass the gravy. 35 it is so arranged all the way to 36 oblivion. 37 next meter reading date: 38 JUN 20. 39 and I feel good. [Page 258]
Sense (1986), Black Sparrow Press] 1 the phone rang at 1:30 a.m. 2 and it was a man from Denver: 3 "Chinaski, you got a following in 4 Denver ..." 5 "yeah?" 6 "yeah, I got a magazine and I want some 7 poems from you ..." 8 "FUCK YOU, CHINASKI!" I heard a voice 9 in the background ... 10 "I see you have a friend," 11 I said. 12 "yeah," he answered, "now, I want 13 six poems ..." 14 "CHINASKI SUCKS! CHINASKI'S A PRICK!" 15 I heard the other 16 voice. 17 "you fellows been drinking?" 18 I asked. 19 "so what?" he answered. "you drink." 20 "that's true ..." 21 "CHINASKI'S AN ASSHOLE!"
22 then 23 the editor of the magazine gave me the 24 address and I copied it down on the back 25 of an envelope. 26 "send us some poems now ..." 27 "I'll see what I can do ..." 28 "CHINASKI WRITES SHIT!" 29 "goodbye," I said. 30 "goodbye," said the 31 editor. 32 I hung up. 33 there are certainly any number of lonely 34 people without much to do with 35 their nights. [Page 260] Bukowski, Charles:a tragic meeting [from You Get So Alone At Times That It Just Makes Sense (1986), Black Sparrow Press] 1 I was more visible and available then 2 and I had this great weakness: 3 I thought that going to bed with many women 4 meant that a man was clever and good and 5 superior 6 especially if he did it at the age of 7 55 8 to any number of bunnies 9 and I lifted weights 10 drank like mad 11 and did 12 that. 13 most of the women were nice 14 and most of them looked good 15 and only one or two were really dumb and 16 dull 17 but JoJo 18 I can't even categorize. 19 her letters were slight, repeated 20 the same things: 21 "I like your books, would like to meet 22 you ..." 23 I wrote back and told her 24 it would be 25 all right. 26 then along came the instructions 27 where I was to meet 28 her: at this college 29 on this date 30 at this time [Page 261] 31 just after her 32 classes. 33 the college was up in the 34 hills and 35 the day and time 36 arrived 37 and with her drawings 39 plus a road map 40 I set out. 41 it was somewhere between the Rose Bowl 42 and one of the largest graveyards in 43 Southern California 44 and I got there early and sat in my 45 car 46 nipping at the Cutty Sark 47 and looking at the 48 co-eds---there were so many of 49 them, one simply couldn't have 50 them all. 51 then the bell rang and I got out of my 52 car and walked to the front of the 53 building, there was a long row of 54 steps and the students walked out of the 55 building and down the steps 56 and I stood and 57 waited, and like with airport 58 arrivals 59 I had no idea 60 which one 61 it would be.
62 "Chinaski," somebody said 63 and there she was: 18, 19, 64 neither ugly nor beautiful, of 65 average body and features, 66 seeming to be neither vicious, 67 intelligent, dumb or 68 insane. 69 we kissed lightly and then 70 I asked her if she 71 had a car 72 and she said 73 she had a car 74 and I said, "fine, I'll drive you 75 to it, then you follow 76 me ..." 77 JoJo was a good follower, she followed me all 78 the way to my beat-up court in east 79 Hollywood. 80 I poured her a drink and we talked very 81 drab talk and kissed a 82 bit. 83 the kisses were neither good nor bad 84 nor interesting or un- 85 interesting. 86 much time went by and she drank very 87 little 88 and we kissed some more and she said, 89 "I like your books, they really do things 90 to me." 91 "Fuck my books!" I told her. 92 I was down to my shorts and I had her 93 skirt up to her ass
95 but she just kissed and 96 talked. 97 she responded and she didn't 98 respond. 99 then 100 I gave up and started drinking 101 heavily. 102 she mentioned a few of the other 103 writers 104 she liked 105 but she didn't like any of them 106 the way she liked 107 me. 108 "yeah," I poured a new one, "is that 109 so?" 110 "I've got to get going," JoJo said, 111 "I've got a class in the 112 morning." 113 "you can sleep here," I suggested, "and 114 get an early start, I scramble great 115 eggs." 116 "no, thank you, I've got to 117 go ..." 118 and she left with 119 several copies of my books 120 she had never seen 121 before, 122 copies I had given her
124 evening. 125 I had another drink and decided to 126 sleep it off 127 as an unexplainable 128 loss. 129 I switched off the lights 130 and threw myself upon the 131 bed without 132 washing-up or 133 brushing my 134 teeth. 135 I looked up into the dark 136 and thought, now, here is one 137 I will never be able to 138 write about: 139 she was neither good nor bad, 140 real or unreal, kind or 141 unkind, she was just a girl 142 from a college 143 somewhere between the Rose Bowl and 144 the dumping grounds. 145 then I began to itch, I scratched 146 myself, I seemed to feel things 147 on my face, on my belly, I inhaled, 148 exhaled, tried to sleep but 149 the itching got worse, then 150 I felt a bite, then several bites, 151 things appeared to be 152 crawling on me ... [Page 265] 153 I rushed to the bathroom 154 and switched on the light 155 my god, JoJo had fleas. 156 I stepped into the shower 157 stood there 158 adjusting the water, 159 thinking, 160 that poor 161 dear 162 girl. [Page 266] Bukowski, Charles:an ordinary poem [from You Get So Alone At Times That It Just Makes Sense (1986), Black Sparrow Press] 1 since you've always wanted 2 to know I am going to admit that I never liked Shakespeare, 3 Browning, the 4 Bronte sisters, 5 Tolstoy, baseball, summers on the shore, arm- 6 wrestling, hockey, Thomas Mann, Vivaldi, Winston Churchill, 7 Dudley 8 Moore, free verse, 9 pizza, bowling, the Olympic Games, the Three Stooges, the 10 Marx 11 Brothers, Ives, Al Jolson, Bob Hope, Frank Sinatra, Mickey 12 Mouse, basketball, 13 fathers, mothers, cousins, wives, shack jobs (although preferable 14 to the former), 15 and I don't like the Nutcracker Suite, the Academy Awards, 16 Hawthorne, 17 Melville, pumpkin pie, New Year's Eve, Christmas, Labor Day, 18 the
19 Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, Good Friday, The Who, 20 Bacon, Dr. Spock, Blackstone and Berlioz, Franz 21 Liszt, pantyhose, 22 lice, fleas, goldfish, crabs, spiders, war 23 heroes, space flights, camels (I don't trust camels) or the 24 Bible, 25 Updike, Erica Jong, Corso, bartenders, fruit flies, Jane 26 Fonda, 27 churches, weddings, birthdays, newscasts, watch 28 dogs, .22 rifles, Henry 29 Fonda 30 and all the women who should have loved me but 31 didn't and 32 the first day of Spring and the 33 last
35 and this one 36 that you're reading 37 now.
[Page 268] Bukowski, Charles:from an old dog in his cups ... [from You Get So Alone At Times That It Just Makes Sense (1986), Black Sparrow Press] 1 ah, my friend, it's awful, worse 2 than that---you just get 3 going good--- 4 one bottle down and 5 gone--- 6 the poems simmering in your 7 head 8 but
9 halfway between 60 and 10 70
11 you pause 12 before opening the 13 second bottle--- 14 sometimes 15 don't 16 for after 50 years of 17 heavy drinking 18 you might assume 19 that extra bottle 20 will set you 21 babbling in some 22 rest home 23 or tender you 24 a stroke 25 alone in your 26 place 27 the cats chewing at 28 your flesh 29 as the morning fog 30 enters the broken 31 screen.
32 one doesn't even think of 33 the liver 34 and if the liver 35 doesn't think of 36 us, that's 37 fine. 38 but it does seem 39 the more we drink 40 the better the words 41 go. 42 death doesn't matter 43 but the ultimate inconvenience 44 of near-death is worse than 45 galling. 46 I'll finish the night off 47 with 48 beer.
[Page 270] Bukowski, Charles:let 'em go [from You Get So Alone At Times That It Just Makes Sense (1986), Black Sparrow Press] 1 let's let the bombs go 2 I'm tired of waiting 3 I've put away my toys 4 folded the road maps 5 canceled my subscription to Time 6 kissed Disneyland goodbye 7 I've taken the flea collars off my cats 8 unplugged the tv 9 I no longer dream of pink flamingoes 10 I no longer check the market index 11 let's let 'em go 12 let's let 'em blow 13 I'm tired of waiting 14 I don't like this kind of blackmail 15 I don't like governments playing cutesy with my life: 16 either crap or get off the pot 17 I'm tired of waiting 18 I'm tired of dangling 19 I'm tired of the fix 20 let the bombs blow 21 you cheap sniveling cowardly nations 22 you mindless giants 23 do it 24 do it 25 do it!
26 and escape to your planets and space stations 27 then you can fuck it 28 up there too. [Page 272]
Makes Sense (1986), Black Sparrow Press] 1 new jock in from Arizona 2 doesn't know this town 3 but his agent did get him a mount 4 in the first race 5 last Saturday 6 and the jock took the freeway 7 in 8 on the same day as 9 the U.S.C. vs. U.C.L.A. football 10 game 11 and got caught 12 in one of the two special lanes 13 which took him to the Rose Bowl 14 instead of the race 15 track. 16 he was forced to drive all the way 17 to the football game 18 parking lot 19 before he could turn 20 around. 21 by the time he got to the track 22 the first race 23 was over. 24 another jock had won with his 25 mount. 26 today out there 27 I noticed on the program that the 28 new jock from Arizona 29 had a good mount in the 30 6th. 31 then the horse became a late 32 scratch. [Page 273] 33 sometimes getting started 34 in the big time 35 is tantamount to 36 trying to raise an erection 37 in a tornado 38 and even if you do 39 nobody has the time 40 to notice. [Page 274] Bukowski, Charles:the death of a splendid neighborhood [from You Get So Alone At Times That It Just Makes Sense (1986), Black Sparrow Press] 1 there was a place off Western Ave. 2 where you went up a stairway 3 to get head 4 and there was a big biker 5 sitting there 6 wearing his swastika jacket. 7 he was there to smell you out 8 if you were the 9 heat 11 if you weren't. 12 it was just above the 13 Philadelphia Hoagie Shop 14 there in L.A. 15 where the girls came down 16 when things got 17 slow 18 and ate something 19 else. 20 the man who ran the 21 sandwich shop 22 hated the girls 23 he didn't like to 24 serve them 25 but he was 26 afraid not 27 to. 28 then one day 29 I came by 30 and the biker wasn't there 31 or the girls 32 either, [Page 275] 33 and it hadn't been a simple 34 bust 35 it had been a 36 shoot-out: 37 there were bullet holes 38 in the door 39 above the 40 stairway. 41 I went into the Hoagie shop 42 for a sandwich and a 43 beer 44 and the proprietor told 45 me, 46 "things are better 47 now." 48 after that 49 I had to leave town 50 for a couple of 51 days 52 and when I got back 53 and walked down 54 to the Hoagie shop 55 I saw that the plate glass 56 window 57 had been busted 58 out
59 and was covered with 60 boards. 61 inside the walls 62 and the counter had been 63 blackened by 64 fire. [Page 276] 65 about that same 66 time 67 my girlfriend went crazy 68 and started screwing one man 69 after 70 another. 71 almost everything good was 72 gone. 73 I gave my landlord a month's 74 notice and moved in 75 3 weeks. [Page 277]
Get So Alone At Times That It Just Makes Sense (1986), Black Sparrow Press] 1 when I was a starving writer I used to read the major writers 2 in the 3 major magazines (in the library, of course) and it made me feel 4 very bad because---being a student of the word and the way, I 5 realized 6 that they were faking it: I could sense each false emotion, each 7 utter pretense, it made me feel that the editors had their 8 heads up their asses---or were being politicized into publishing 9 in-groups of power 10 but
11 I just kept writing and not eating very much---went down 12 from 197 pounds 13 to 137---but---got very much practice typing and reading 14 printed rejection 15 slips. 16 it was when I reached 137 pounds that I said, to hell with it, 17 quit 18 typing and concentrated on drinking and the streets and the 19 ladies of 20 the streets---at least those people didn't read Harper's, The 21 Atlantic or 22 Poetry, a magazine of verse. 23 and frankly, it was a fair and refreshing ten year lay-off 24 then I came back and tried it again to find that the editors still 25 had 26 their heads up their asses and/or etc. 27 but I was up to 225 pounds
29 and full of background music--- 30 ready to give it another shot in the 31 dark.
[Page 279] Bukowski, Charles:a good gang, after all [from You Get So Alone At Times That It Just Makes Sense (1986), Black Sparrow Press] 1 I keep hearing from the old dogs, 2 men who have been writing for 3 decades, 4 poets all, 5 they're still at their 6 typers 7 writing better than 8 ever
9 past wives and wars and 10 jobs 11 and all the things that 12 happen. 13 many I disliked for personal 14 and artistic 15 reasons ... 16 but what I overlooked was 17 their endurance and 18 their ability to 19 improve. 20 these old dogs 21 living in smoky rooms 22 pouring the 23 bottle ... 24 they lash against the 25 typer ribbons: they came 26 to
27 fight. [Page 280] Bukowski, Charles:this [from You Get So Alone At Times That It Just Makes Sense (1986), Black Sparrow Press] 1 being drunk at the typer beats being with any woman 2 I've ever seen or known or heard about 3 like 4 Joan of Arc, Cleopatra, Garbo, Harlow, M.M. or 5 any of the thousands that come and go on that 6 celluloid screen 7 or the temporary girls I've seen so lovely 8 on park benches, on buses, at dances and parties, at 9 beauty contests, cafes, circuses, parades, department 10 stores, skeet shoots, balloon flys, auto races, rodeos, 11 bull fights, mud wrestling, roller derbies, pie bakes, 12 churches, volleyball games, boat races, county fairs, 13 rock concerts, jails, laundromats or wherever 14 being drunk at this typer beats being with any woman 15 I've ever seen or 16 known. [Page 281]
(1986), Black Sparrow Press] 1 there's fire in the fingers and there's fire in the shoes and there's 2 fire in walking across a room 3 there's fire in the cat's eyes and there's fire in the cat's 4 balls 5 and the wrist watch crawls like a snake across the back of the 6 dresser 7 and the refrigerator contains 9,000 frozen red hot dreams 8 and as I listen to the symphonies of dead composers 9 I am consumed with a glad sadness 10 there's fire in the walls 11 and the snails in the garden only want love 12 and there's fire in the crabgrass 13 we are burning burning burning 14 there's fire in a glass of water 15 the tombs of India smile like smitten motherfuckers 16 the meter maids cry alone at one a.m. on rainy nights 17 there's fire in the cracks of the sidewalks 18 and 19 all during the night as I have been drinking and typing these 20 eleven or twelve poems 21 the lights have gone off and on 22 there is a wild wind outside 23 and in between times 24 I have sat in the dark here 25 electric (haha) typer off lights out radio off 26 drinking in the dark 27 lighting cigarettes in the dark 28 there was fire off the match 29 we are all burning together 30 burning brothers and sisters 31 I like it I like it I like 32 it. [Page 282] Yüklə 1,6 Mb. Dostları ilə paylaş:
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