| March 14th, 2012:
What a great day and good evening my beloved Danielle. It was great to hear from you via text. You asked me if I was off tomorrow and that you would call me and we would talk. I have sorely missed you. I know that I still love you and am still in love with you.
March 15th, 2012:
You never called me. I texted you and you never called. A great day of sadness lies ahead as I think of what I did so wrong to you that you could just walk away. There has to be a way….yes…I will create a new podcast….this series will be a way to reach you cause you said you always watch my profile….
The next day at work I was saddened by the fact Danielle had never called me. I even went to church and prayed. I remember saying a prayer with a Christian in my restaurant and I asked her,
“I know I am different and that god has forgotten me but can you
say a prayer for me that my love will answer me. I know I don’t
deserve it ‘because I survived but perhaps in his mercy he will
answer my prayer?”
Claudine looked at me,
“Kat God has never forgotten you. You have gone lengths to reach the one you love perhaps she doesn’t love you.”
I grew sad.
“No I know she does I still sense her”
In the future I would discover that the songs that Danielle was listening to on Spotify on Facebook was actually about her new love with her new girlfriend. Danielle knew that I was watching her profile. I had felt it was some kind of wicked chess game and she was purposely trying to hurt me. I continued to write my journals because of those songs that I perceived was for me.
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