Ephesians

The Cure for Conflict

In Ephesians 5:21, the apostle Paul takes up the issue of Christian relationships. In a single sentence, he spells out the solution to all the conflicts that ever take place among Christians. That sentence is this: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

This statement is the summary statement, of everything he will say from this point through Ephesians 6:9. He will apply this theme to situation after situation in the church and in the Christian family. It is the remedy for all the conflicts we encounter as Christians.

Mutual submission is not the way the world solves social issues and conflicts. The world’s way of solving problems is to assert power. We engage in political conspiracies, or we stage a protest or a riot, or we call out the National Guard, or we call a press conference to get public opinion on our side, or we picket and boycott and strike. I’m not condemning these approaches. I’m just saying they are the approaches of the world, the application of force or pressure or persuasion.

Paul says, in effect, “As a Christian, you are not to use the world’s approach to solving problems. You are not to seek power and leverage over one another. Instead of creating a power bloc, start on an individual level. Instead of trying to win the war, submit. Instead of seeking power, seek to give way.

This is always the way God says to solve problems. As you read through the New Testament, you notice that God never calls for corporate action in solving the basic problems of society. His solution is always addressed to individuals. Start where you are by doing one simple thing: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

In applying this, Paul will discuss the relationship of husbands to wives, which brings in the whole realm of marriage and the problems that arise there. Then he will take up the matter of children and parents, which brings in the whole issue of juvenile delinquency—its causes and what can be done about it. Then he will take up the issue of management and labor, masters and servants, employers and employees. In each case, the remedy is always the same: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

If we are going to understand the world in which we live and the reasons for the strife, conflict, and violence in the world, we have to go back to the basic cause of all human strife. It always begins at the level of the individual.

Every individual seeks fulfillment. God has placed the drive for fulfillment within each of us. It is not wrong to want happiness and satisfaction in life. The problem comes when two people, both in search of fulfillment and satisfaction in life, both set on the same goal, come together on a collision course. Perhaps it is two people who want the same promotion or position in a company. Or two church leaders who feel their approach to ministry should be adopted by the church (a story as old as Paul and Barnabas). Or two siblings who contend for the love and attention of a parent (as Jacob and Esau did in the Old Testament).

People who were once friends become enemies, unable to find any common ground for compromise, because the emotions and personal relationships have become poisoned with bitterness. It’s a tragic pattern that is played out again and again, day after day. But the apostle Paul introduces two radical and powerful factors that drastically alter the equation of conflict:

First, Paul reminds us that the path to true fulfillment doesn’t lie in pursuing our own wants and needs, but in seeking the fulfillment and happiness of others: “Submit to one another…”

Second, Paul reminds us of the presence of a third party who is present in all our relationships: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Let’s examine each of these factors in Paul’s equation for conflict resolution.