The me I was born with

EPILOGUE

And now to now. I dropped in and out of you more times than any of us would care to remember, and I’ve brought up that matter more times than any of us would care to remember. Finally arriving at the now of now, from which I could never have departed because there is nothing before or beyond this now.

Leaping through decades; arriving and returning to arrive again, always in the now. The here of now is with me (with all of us) but the ‘nows’ that remain will continue.
We create our own universe, expanding and contracting as we move along until one day our universe is passed on, in pieces, to those who would add it to their own. There is no God to protect and welcome us to the beyond from this life and far more of us know this than are willing to admit it. My mother once said, “I would like to believe in God. It would make getting old so much easier”.

but she knew better. There is no God beyond the wish for one. We live on through those who live on through those who live on, and on.

I remember how a professor of philosophy at U. C. Berkeley demonstrated history an the blackboard with chalk and eraser. He drew a continuous line across the blackboard with his right hand, following about a foot behind with the eraser in his left hand erasing the line as it was drawn. So memory followed behind the event at about the same distance , erasing itself between the third and fourth or fifth generation (In rare cases.). And that’s about it, in most cases. Our memory drops back to our grandparents, often ,in fragments, to our great grandparents and rarely to our great, great grandparents.
This is how it is with memorable events of our family history. As for remembering our own lives, huge pieces may be completely forgotten while other parts are vaguely remembered and other parts, by their magnitude indelibly engraved or permanently blocked out and erased. Struggling and still struggling with memory beyond the mere fact of its existence, its inaccuracies and its value.

Some argue we would be better off without it; others insist we would be nothing without it. How could one construct an autobiography without it; or without a sense of time?

Words seem so inadequate, so ambiguous, that one must wonder how we are able to communicate as well as we often do; yet we fail so miserably at times.

Music is certainly the most universal form of communication, yet it speaks differently to each of us. And how about silence?

I don’t believe I’ll make an effort to refine or trim or address inaccuracies in this book. I haven’t time and I don’t much care to do so. The errors whatever they might be are not grievous. I know my limitations when attempting to write prose. I wrote it as it came and might have improved upon the results had I cared to,

but I’m satisfied. Actually, the writing was a pleasant task, more so than I had anticipated, but more important, was the task of getting it said and done. If I’ve insulted anyone by what might seem an inaccurate characterization, I’m sorry.

If anyone feels neglected I’m sorry too. Only know that you are loved and you know who you are.
And for the moment I must continue on this path for a moment more.
Toby Lurie

Fort Bragg, Ca. 12/11/08

APPENDIX

BOOKS:

Measured Space Hors Commerce Press 1968

New Forms New Spaces Journeys into Language 1971

Mirror Images Celestial Arts 1974

Handbook on Vocal Poetry Journeys into Language 1974

Conversations with the Past Laughing Bear Press 1977

Conversations and Constructions Journeys into Language 1977

Word-Music Journeys into Language 1977

Serial Poems Bob Cobbing Press 1978

A Leaf of Voices Journeys into Language 1980

The Beach at Cleone Applezabe Press 1983

The Last Rondo in Paris Laughing Bear Press 1983

The Haight Street Blues Journeys into Language 1987

Trios Mellen Poetry Press 1989

Quartets Mellen Poetry Press 1990

Cliff House Poems Journeys into Language 1992

Quintets Mellen Poetry Press 1993

Duets Mellen Poetry Press 1996

Hiroshima Mellen Poetry Press 1997

Word-Scales Mellen Poetry Press 2000

Elegy Mellen Poetry Press 2003
BOOKS (unpublished)

2003

Three Voices Fugues and Variations

Chamber Music Highway Erotica

2004

Simple Logic Remembrances

Exhortations Fermata

Themes and Variations Before and After

In Present time Serial Poems & Variations

Homages Fragmentations

Collages and Fugues Synesthesia

Steps to Parnassus New Poems

Success and Failure Assemblages

Trios and Quartets

2005

Collected Journals I As I Approach

Collected Journals II Another Harvest

Collected Journals III The Me I was Born With

Collected Journals IV Family Portraits

Collected Journals V Zenphonies

Collected Journals VI Eiighty and Beyond

New Beginnings and Endings Conversations

Conversations Across Time Lost and Found Poems

Songs of New and Otherwise Conversations w/Myself

2006

Reconfigurations I When She Comes

Reconfigurations II She

I Poems of Long

Eighty-One and Beyond (2005-2006) Permutations on We

2007

Eighty-Two and Beyond (2007-2008)

Reconfigurations III

Purloinings

2008

Trios Plus One Thirty-One Days

The Me I was Born With (Poems) Play Let’s

Eighty-Three and Beyond Reconfigurations IV

ALBUMS:

Mirror Images, (Jan and Toby)

Word-Music

C.D.s:

Word-Music, (Volumes 1,2,3)

When I Write My Song, (Toby singing four standards)

Improvisations with my Son, (Drew on drums and flute, Toby, vocals)

Improvisations, (Volumes 1,2,3,4)

BIOGRAPHY; TOBY LURIE

Tobert Lurie, born May 12, 1925, Seattle, Washington

1937 Began studying voice with intention of pursuing career in Opera.

1943-46 U.S. Navy

1946 Los Angeles School of Opera. After several months realizing his voice

was inadequate, shifted his interest to composition.

1947-49 Studied Composition at the San Francisco Conservatory of Music, U.C.

Berkeley and University of Washington

1950 Married and moved to Anchorage, Alaska.

1952 Moved with wife Jan, and son Mark to Oakland, California where he

studied Composition at Mills College with internationally-known

composer, Darious Milhaud.

1953 Entered the hotel business, operating and owning, with his family two

properties in Olympia, Washington.

1954 Moved to Santa Barbara, California to take over management of two

luxury retirement hotels, which developed into a large family-owned

hotel chain.

1963 Left hotel business to enter restaurant industry. Also obtained a real

estate license and practiced unsuccessfully in that field.

1965 On May 12^th of this year, his 40^th birthday, Lurie wrote a poem while at

work, brought it home, shared it with his wife who encouraged him to

escape the business world which was ‘killing him inch by inch’, and

become a free spirit once again. They called their three children

together and discussed a future plan which they all agreed upon.

All five toasted the decision with champagne and Toby threw his

license in the fireplace. Thus began his love affair with language.

1967-83 During this period Lurie read his poetry and conducted workshops for

teachers and students at over 1,500 schools from kindergarten through

University levels at venues in the United States Great Britain and Europe/

1983 On March 20^th, Lurie sketched his first work of art, copying a page

from his Symphony #1. The next day he framed six of his sketches and

was on his way to a new career. In November of that year he had his

first show at the University of Minnesota in St. Paul.
(From his earliest beginnings as a painter he combined music and

poetry with his paintings and called his approach SYNESTHESIA. which is

the interlacing of the various art disciplines.)
1991 Lurie was the first American painter to have two gallery showings of his

work simultaneously in Denmark; in Copenhagen and in Aarhus.

1993-2000 Gallery Showings in Japan: Tokyo, Chiba City, Osaka, Hamamatsu.

During this period Lurie had numerous showings in Hamamatsu and

Tokyo.

1998 Honorary Degree of Doctor of Fine Arts, conferred by Mellen University.

2003 Moved with his wife Carolyne to current home in Bragg, California.

GALLERY EXHIBITIONS

(One-Person Shows, Partial Listing)

Abramson Gallery, Mendocino, Ca. June 2007

St. Supery Gallery, Rutherford, Ca. June-Aug. 2006

St. Supery Gallery, Rutherford, Ca. June-Aug 2005

Shenson Gallery, San Francisco, Ca. Nov-Dec 2003

Gallery Sho, Hamamatsu, Japan March 2000

Chiba City, Japan March 2000

Triton Museum, Santa Clara, Ca. January 2000

Doiron Gallery, Sacramento, Ca. Sept. 1999

Soho Gallery, Santa Barbara, Ca. Nov-Dec 1997

Primavera Gallery, Santa Barbara, Ca. Oct-Nov 1997

Gallery on the Rim, San Francisco, Ca. Sept. 1996

Gallery 524, San Francisco, Ca. May 1994

Gallery Sho, Tokyo, Japan June 1994

Gallery Sho, Kuruizawa, Japan August 1993

Gallery Sho, Tokyo, Japan August 1993

Gallery Creart, Osaka, Japan June 1993

State of the Art, San Francisco, Ca. May 1993

Gallery Sho, Tokyo, Japan October 1992

Tah Gallery, Pasadena, Ca. Jan-Feb 1992

Kunstnernes Hus, Aarhus, Denmark April-May 1991

Atelier 53, Copenhagen, Denmark April-May 1991

Stanford University, Stanford, Ca. November 1990

Davis Art Center, Davis, Ca. November 1990

Minx Gallery, San Francisco, Ca. March 1986

Greenwood Galleries, Seattle, Wa. January 1986

I.D.E.A. Gallery, Sacramento, Ca. December 1985

Southern Exposure Gallery, San Francisco, Ca. February 1984

University of Minnesota, Minneapolis, Mn. October 1983

(Numerous College and University Galleries including: Chico State, College of Pacific, Humboldt State, Calpoly, Pomona and San Luis Obispo and Northwestern University, Evanston, Ill.)