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CITATION --- DECEMBER, 1965			Page Thirty-Seven

NightclUT won the 1965 premiership of the N.T. (Aussie Rules) Football League, and we had two rugged Police representatives in the winning team. Here, Constable Peter Young is racing for the ball but it looks as though a team mate has the matter well in hand. Our other rep., Constable Alan Price, modestly kept out of sight of the photographer, so we are unable to show him off

THE LAW AND AN ASS

She was an obstreperous and vocal drunk the night before, but such a demure and neatly dressed and made-up piece of feminity at Court the next morning.

The Sarge was prosecuting — quite a big fellow he was, too, in some ways, but she wasn't the least bit impressed. Last night she had been quite rough with the poor man in the course of his duty — spitting and scratching and rudely vociferous. At one stage she'd even given him a hefty push and shouted: " Shift your bloody big fat . . . over there ! " All in the presence of the embarrassed young Constable who had arrested her, too!

But this morning there was an air of forgiveness off all sides. The Sarge could almost see her framing her lips around the word " Guilty ", and making some easily believable explanation that would delight the Magistrate up there on the bench. He wouldn't be surprised if the old boy had not already written (mentally, of course) the verdict — " Guilty — convicted without penalty ".

The Sarge took ^.up his position as Prosecutor. The Constable called on the defendant to stand while the charge was read. In his mind the Sarge was well ahead of his reading, giving the Magistrate the facts — " Just a bit under the weather, Your Worship — had to be arrested more or less for her own protection — very repentant now, I am sure, and . . . "

But what awful words are these now issuing from those pretty, red lips? " Not Guilty ! " — " NOT GUILTY? " Has she forgotten last night altogether? Oh, well — call the Constable to give his evidence and get it over with. Ts,., constable gave a gentle account of the previous night's

doings -^,,ough, as he and the Sarge had previously

agreed would suit the circuntstanLc:, io 1C4 —

in the Magistrate's mind that she had been really and truly drunk in a public place as charged. The evidence was



given, and there was no query or cross-examination by the defendant.

" Can I give my evidence now? " she asked.

Evidence! thought the Sarge. What evidence can she possibly give after her previous night's 'performance ! The Magistrate looked surprised, too.

" Well ", he said, " there certainly' is a case for you to answer. Yes — you will have to give evidence to refute that already given by the Prosecution ".

She click-clicked smartly on her high-heels to the witness stand, took the Oath in a most respectful manner, and stood waiting with a truly angelic expression.

After a long silence, the Sarge got to his feet and said—" Er — Your Worship — er — the evidence ".

" Yes ", replied His Worship. " The evidence. Defendant, what about your evidence? "

" Oh ", she said, " I've got no evidence to give. I just want to say that I was not drunk or troublesome last night. I behaved myself just like any other lady would. That's all ".

The Sarge didn't think this would outweight the Prosecution's evidence in the eyes of the Bench, but, just in case, he thought he'd better cut her down completely with a few pointed questions.

" You say you acted just like a lady last night? "

" Yes ", she said briskly. " I certainly did. I always act like a lady ".

" But don't you remember pushing me out of the way and shouting — Shift your bloody big fat . . . over there '? "

Dead silence. She looked straight ahead. Then she glanced briefly over the Sarge's physique and crisply said: " Well, it is rather big isn't it ! "

then, in an instant, did the ancient glory and

majesty of the British Tustice shrink to nothingness

under the force of gales of irrepressible human laugmc,.

Page Thirty-Eight		CITATION — DECEMBER, 1965