This file contains all the messages in the Yahoo group currently located at the link below. This will allow you to read through the messages off-line
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321 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Sun Mar 5, 2000 10:55pm Subject: My story of recovery...a PS I added this to the end of my article, The toxic mind, confessions of a schizophrenic. I also sent Judith Herman's quote to the editor, with a note telling him I hoped the article planted a seed for his personal recovery. "It is tragic that so many in the psychiatric profession are in denial about their own abusive behavior and their need for recovery. Instead of helping me to heal by encouraging me to have my justifiable anger, they silenced me with drugs and kept me imprisoned for years. It was the very same abuse I suffered as a child." Ellie 322 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Wed Mar 8, 2000 5:35am Subject: Have some raw fatty fish--Sushi A big yes, yes, to this. Wild salmon (Arctic Char is good) and Boston mackerel and tuna--raw, is better than processed oils. Neurotransmission depends on healthy fatty receptor areas of neurons. The SAD diet is lacking in these good fats. Ellie
May 13, 1999 -- Boston and Belmont, MA -- Researchers at Brigham and Women's Hospital (BWH) and McLean Hospital have found that fish oil significantly remedies the symptoms of bipolar disorder (manic depression). Fish oil is especially high in omega-3 fatty acids, a type of polyunsaturated fat that is associated with other health benefits such as preventing cardiovascular disease. The study is published in the May issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry, a specialty journal of the American Medical Association. "Our study results indicate fish oil does possess elements to stabilize mood," said lead author Andrew Stoll, MD, of Brigham and Women's Hospital and McLean Hospital. The four-month randomized study compared omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) and a placebo (olive oil) in 30 outpatients with bipolar disease at BWH. Subjects, including men and women, from age 18 to 65, were also undergoing their prescribed treatment during the study. Overall, nine of the 14 patients who received omega-3 fatty acids witnessed relief of their symptoms, while only three out of 16 patients who received the placebo witnessed such relief, according to Dr. Stoll. "Although the data is preliminary, our study indicates omega-3 fatty acids are safe and beneficial for patients with bipolar disorder," said Dr. Stoll. "Our finding opens the door for more research on omega-3 fatty acid's effect on a variety of other psychiatric disorders, including major depression, schizophrenia and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)," he said. 323 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Thu Mar 9, 2000 5:03am Subject: Cutting back on medication Hello Ellie, I am better step by step. Last bromazepam was on 25-feb-2000 and now is 08-mar-2000!!! My doctor will down my Prozac on end of this month (he told me) to 20-0-0-20-0-0-20-0-0-20 20/3 is 6.66 mg / day. I am in self help every day and redirecting now to world and father too (mother and brother continued). Juan Good news. Doing the redirecting will have the same effect as the Prozac, and you won't need it after a while. It's so good to hear your doctor is supportive of your cutting back. Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Thu Mar 9, 2000 5:54am Subject: Re: Have some raw fatty fish--Sushi > Hello Ellie, > Thank you for including me in your invitation to join the list. > This post is timely. At the present time the largest seafood show in the world is taking place in Boston. Fresh fish is never a problem where we live. My house overlooks the Atlantic ocean. Malcolm (April's friend) says he craves fish. Could this be significant? April
I hesitate to recommend it on this list because of the risks with parasites. So proceed at your own risk. Some who eat instinctively are cooking meats, but keeping them very rare. Ellie -
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Thu Mar 9, 2000 6:23am Subject: Psychiatry Dear Ellie I totally agree with you that a lot of psychiatry and therapy is abusive and damaging. Many of the people exercising these professions are drawn to them because of their own issues, which will never be completely resolved, and it is only the wise practician that realizes this and deals with it. Another complicating factor is that we all to some extent have a built in protection mechanism that protects us from emotional harm and realizing the full truth about ourselves. Daniel Goleman, author of "Emotional Intelligence", a book I recommend VERY highly and think everyone on earth should read, wrote a book called "Vital Lies, Simple Truths", that explains exactly this; how people fail to see the truth and protect themselves around vital lies, to keep their self from shattering. Ibsen, the famous Norwegian writer, based many of his plays around this topic. The same argument applies society's lack of acceptance of the fact that parents are responsible for their children's emotional health. I truly believe a good parent is a blessing from heaven, but a bad parent can make your entire life a living hell. But since most of the world's citizens are parents, parents to be, or at least have had parents, there is a huge amount of denial involved around this issue. Most people simply deny what is fast becoming a scientific fact: Parents significantly impact the emotional well-being of their children, and if a child develops problems early or later in life, in most cases the parents are at fault. They might have tried their best, or they might not, but the end result is: They are responsible. The solution to this is not to deny this fact, but to behave like an adult, TAKE responsibility, DEAL with their own issues as best they can, and be the best parent they can be. Nobody is perfect, and to the extent that harm is done, I wish parents would accept it, forgive themselves, apologize, and be supportive of their offspring in their own attempts to heal. I think it is horrible that America today sentences younger and younger people to life sentences or even execution in prison for what they have done, while the real perpetrators, their parents, remain free and unpunished. California just passed a measure allowing younger adolescents to be tried as adults, incarcerated for life at an age where there still is hope. We all need to face up to the fact that it is our responsibility to take care of our children, and that it is our fault, that we ourselves are to blame, if our children commit violent and abusive acts. This applies to us all both as individuals and as a society as a whole. Severe punishment does as little good for society as it does for the individual. The end result is the same, and it is not good. Finally I want to mention a quote I made, which I believe holds a lot of truth: "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled, was to make the people living in hell unaware of the fact that they are there". Frank Powerful message. Thank you. Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Fri Mar 10, 2000 6:48am Subject: Parents Having laid the blame on parents I want to say a special welcome to parents on this list. When I first put this on an Autism list, many parents were outraged and sent me angry e-mails. Happily, one parent recognized that she herself had been an autistic child, and was open to recovery for herself. She even posted a link to my site on an Autism site. It is not easy for parents, and I admire the courage they have in recognizing their need to recover for the sake of their children. And once in recovery I'm sure they know it's for themselves. No parent needs to be perfect, but parents who recover have no problem letting their children be angry at them if appropriate. If children are young, I highly recommend Aletha Solter's book Tears and Tantrums. Her web page is: http://www.awareparenting.com/ Ellie 327 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Fri Mar 10, 2000 9:24am Subject: Parents > Ellie -- On the subject of parents and their accountability, suddenly I got a note from my mom saying "You once said you never would want to come home again" (my angry "letter bomb" sent in 1992 or so, in which I said a LOT of stuff). Then she said, "But you recently e-mailed us that you're considering going to your high school reunion, so if you are, maybe we can help you out a little to come back home." Well all this is nice. But the problem is I WILL NOT go home without my husband at my side. I'm pretty sure they don't mean to help us both! I had already decided years ago that I'd never go home alone again; I just feel too insecure, remembering these are the same people who put me in a private institution because I was depressed when I was in my '20s because the man I'd married turned out to be a bigamist. Even had the family doctor trick me into committing myself by saying "Your dad's a lawyer. He can make things very tough for you." After that, once when I was upset and didn't go to work one night (at Dunkin' Donuts - no wonder!) my mom said "If you don't straighten yourself out I'm going to have to institutionalize you again." The point is that I have a phobia about being alone with them. They ask a lot of pointed questions about my lifestyle and beliefs and it's obvious to me that they're trying to find out how "normal" I am. My parents are truly almost like clones of Ron and Nancy Reagan, and I just don't think I can go home and deal with their rather strange behavior, also recriminations from my mom about things. My mom even had a neighbor stop by to visit a few years back ... and the woman got together with me solely so she could tell me that my mother said I never wanted to come home again. This was strange, because this was before I sent that letter, and I had wanted to go home, and my mother had decided against it. And then when my parents had come to (another city) for 2 weeks, we'd planned to get we'd planned to get together but they decided not to let me come, for no reason. So I feel I'm not ready to see them. Guess that's the bottom line. Yet I feel time is of the essence - they're not getting any younger. My sense is I should visit later, when I'm completely post-flood, and try to put them off without making them feel rejected. Shirley I'm seeing red thinking about your parents. Do I detect guilt at not visiting? I like your thought to wait a while. Even then I certainly wouldn't worry about making THEM feel rejected after what they did to you. And I sure wouldn't visit without your husband. Don't they accept him? Help you how, with money. My aunt gave me expensive trips, and I finally told her no more, they were all just to get me to become her slave and companion and I told her so. I never visit my aunt and don't intend to, although we have a really nice phone friendship, thanks to my calmly confronting her at her age of 95 (when I was post flood BTW) and telling her she was using me. And even if she dies without my visiting her ever again, I know I will feel in touch with her spirit. No guilt for me and she didn't even abuse me like my parents did. It's only the family left, some cousins, etc., who might say...O you didn't visit anymore, and I've told them the truth about her becoming dependent on me, so fu prayers to them if they don't like it. Funny you mention the Reagans, I just sent the article to Nancy and told her it's not too late for him to get some relief from Alzheimer's. Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Fri Mar 10, 2000 11:01am Subject: Guilt Dear Ellie, I am having a really hard time with some guilt feelings. It started with an incident involving my husband and his family. His brother is always laying a guilt trip in him for not visiting or contacting him or his sister. I can't stand being around his brother and his wife because they are always dripping with sarcasm and saying nasty things to each other and their children. It really is torturous for me to be with them. My husband wants to try to have a relationship wit his brother and makes me feel bad because I try to think of anything to get out of it. My husband also accepts the guilt that is laid on him and does what they tell him to do (for awhile). This also makes me really mad and I usually end up fighting with him about not being so spineless. I think the anger must be out of proportion and triggers my own guilt laid on me by my parents and the church. Do you think this is right? or could it be that I am really just mad at my husband and his family? My husband says I am creating a problem for no reason because he doesn't see any of this stuff the way I do. I have been redirecting the guilt to as many in my past as I can think of. There really seems to be a flood of it and I have noticed that since I've been redirecting my emotions seem much more intense. Is that because I am allowing myself to feel them? Carol Sounds to me like you see what's going on, and if your anger is out of proportion, try some more redirecting to your parents, and the guilt too is anger turned inward...more redirecting. And yes, your emotions will get more intense for a while because you are experiencing them rather than suppressing them. In time your anger in the present situations will be less and less, and more related to the present. And I'm sure it will be easier and easier to deal with these issues. This is about getting rid of all the repressed rage, and then being able to act in truly loving ways in relationships, expressing anger calmly if appropriate. Ellie
http://www.home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway/depression.html The same article entitled Self help for addictions is on: http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 The longer version entitled Self help for emotional disorders is on: http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26/depression.html To join the Depression-Anxiety list: http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/Depression-Anxiety
The Matriarch spews forth violence. The Matriarch contains the anger, adrenalizes and blows up. The Matriarch is a volcano of red flying sparks. The Witch rides her bicycle in the cyclone.
The Goddess emanates the vibration of harmony. She pours ecstatic fluid in the heart. She pulses with life and embraces the environment. The Goddess draws the child to her heart and chest. She protects, allies, coordinates, cooperates, soothes and kisses. The Goddess emits a luminescent light that envelops the soul. The Goddess spins and swirls and the wind blows. The Matriarch neglects, infects, inspects. The Goddess faces, effects, reminisces. The Matriarch undermines good people. The Goddess creates mines within us. The Matriarch eats herself alive. The Matriarch has a weak mind and accepts the thoughts of the strongest wind. The Matriarch is Machiavellian.
She rises in the morning and swims at sunset. She gathers shells on the beach and looks for bait. She sleeps with the Princess. The Matriarch bathes her daughter for a party and drives away. The Matriarch messes with her child's head. The Matriarch is a witch who hurls fireballs at children. The Matriarch kills her children and murders her husband. The Matriarch kills cats. The Matriarch has some sweetness. The Goddess swims with her children and dives deep. She places a garland of flowers on her child's head and neck and shoulders. The Goddess builds a bonfire and everyone dances around it. The Goddess is honored by her consort and children. The Goddess leaps and rolls and flies into the air. She falls into the nectar. The Matriarch is a Prima Donna who needs center stage all the time. The Matriarch is only interested in herself. The Matriarch is controlling, dominating and self-centered. The Matriarch divides and thinks she conquers. The Matriarch is always right. The Matriarch schemes behind one's back. The Matriarch deceives, lifts up, destroys.
She sleeps in our hearts and rests in our cells and then jumps around. The Goddess does on her right what she does on her left. Then she does a summersault. The Goddess designs the sets, creates the costumes and choreographs the dance. She works on a global scale overseeing the whole production of beauty. The reign of beauty has begun because she is here. She listens. The Matriarch uses her cell phone as a weapon. The Goddess set up the satellite system and informs us about other galaxies. The Matriarch is committed to the preservation of Patriarchal qualities. The Matriarch reinforces the morals of the Patriarch. The Matriarch sacrifices her body to keep her man. The Matriarch thinks she is liberated. The Matriarch traffics on gossip. The Matriarch howls and rages and rags. The Matriarch sometimes gives a good party.
She drinks the nectar. The Goddess travels on whispers, flies on sighs, dances to songs. The Goddess casts her spell on all and the seeds are growing. The Goddess says, how is it, rags to riches, straw to bales, euphoric to ecstatic. The Magic works, the amulets hold their place, the fetishes vibrate. The Goddess birthes the wonder.
The Matriarch allies with other Matriarchs against me, freedom, and cooperation. The Matriarch doesn't have much to say to me, wants to trash me, hide me. The Matriarch sends me away to Martian movies. The Matriarch is embarrassed because of me. She suffers.
She overturned all the rocks, exposed all the ants. Then she marched with all the ants and carried food to the nest. She is one with the elements, alive in all things. She feeds our being and offers our mind. She brings us all together in the Magic circle for lift off.
The Matriarch is a martyr, victim and witness. The Matriarch is a victim of the culture. The Matriarch wants her ashes scattered on the gulf stream. The Goddess secures our pleasure, pleasure without pain. She witnesses the great event, the dance of the fireflies in June. She braids the culture into one climactic event. The Goddess sends our hearts in for core fusion for the ultimate explosion. The Matriarch disintegrates in the face of the Goddess. The face of the Goddess emerges from the mud. *********************************************************************** Reprinted here with permission of the author. 331 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Mon Mar 13, 2000 9:46am Subject: Confronting Parents I think confronting parents in person could be risky in many ways, especially before post flood when there is still so much anger yet to be released. I've shared that I did confront my aunt about her dependency on me, but she was not my mother and the cause of my problems in the beginning. Many parents are just too sick to handle it, and it could even cause parents to disown and cut children off from inheritances. I also think it would be a mistake for anyone who is not young to give up compensation or disability. Perhaps this is what Jesus meant when he healed a man and then told him....'go and tell no one.' Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Tue Mar 14, 2000 5:35am Subject: Re: Confronting Parents > Ellie, Your thinking is well on with possibilities of what can happen, when parents are confronted who are too sick to handle, ie. emotionally sick. Although I confronted my parents after many, many years of having become post flood, and there was no anger at all, it was just that they could not handle the slightest indication that they may have done anything wrong not necessarily in the past but in the present, and for me to ask them not to continue treating me the way they were, which had been a way of life for them, was unthinkable and I am disowned, now for over 5 years, going on 6th I think. I was thinking people don't understand how I can stay away or how they can yet, someone who divorces a partner of 15 years or more they stay away and think nothing of that, I suppose it has something to do with them having 'birthed' you or something. I've been through a divorce to the man I thought was part of my family, but after all the years have healed that pain, it's like I don't know him, same way with my parents. It just seems like someone who took care of me, like my first husband did, and now he's gone and now they are gone and someone else has taken their place. Life goes on. Sally Yes, and for me that 'someone else' who 'has taken their place' is the God of my understanding, who is doing a great job. Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Tue Mar 14, 2000 6:17am Subject: Lost parental support Even if parents have disowned us, and we lose out on inheritances, I truly believe that post flood 'our cup runneth over' and the other one about, 'Seek ye first the Kingdom, and all else will follow.' Maybe it will come in new careers for the young, but for people my age I believe there will be other sources. I was nearly broke when my gambling husband died in 86, and since then have had some stock do well, supporting not only me but this whole project, ie the translations have cost several thousand. I'm not rich and don't need to be, but I have all I need. Ellie Yüklə 5,47 Mb. Dostları ilə paylaş:
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