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485 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Thu Jun 8, 2000 2:55am Subject: Acute and chronic disease The natural hygiene people have a saying that applies to emotional as well as physical healing. In order to recover from chronic disease one must re-experience the original acute disease. This applies to using the self-help measures. To put it bluntly, madness is the cure for madness. You may feel like you are going crazy during a detox of anger, but this is what is healing you. During a detox crisis, the noradrenergic and sympathetic nervous systems are especially excited, and since these systems are in charge of helping not only the brain but the body detox, there may be an increase in physical symptoms, fever, etc., as well. Some of the toxins being released during an emotional detox are from the periphery and were probably toxins from food and other sources. So when using the self-help measures, you are detoxing both brain and body. All for better emotional and physical health when you are post flood. Think of how healthy newborns usually are. They scream loudly when abused or not taken care of, and they are likely to get sick with high fevers when they are detoxing the junk food that most parents give them. Post flood people are much like newborns. For Biblical support try..."Unless you become as little children you will not enter the kingdom of heaven." Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Sat Jun 10, 2000 10:27pm Subject: Doubts that it will work?? Hello all, The list is for support for those using the self help in the Biology of Emotions articles. The biology of emotions is on: http://home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway or: http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 The longer version, the scientific paper, and my story are on: http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26
Of course you may use any of my email and repost it, and you don't have to use a pseudonym, just use my first name only. > > I have been printing out your articles as I find them, but I'm not sure I know how to open a pdf file. I don't think I have found the Self Help Measures or not yet. > > Yes, I do believe you that my violent dreams are detox crises, and since I usually have them in the morning, I try to arrange my life so that I can sleep in rather late in order to experience them. However, I do not feel fear in them that I remember. I just remember feeling rage during them, which goes away as I wake up. I look forward to further exploring all of your sites. Melody I'm so glad you are here Melody. If you go to: http://home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway/pamphlet.html you should find directions how to print out the pamphlet. You may have to download the free Acrobat Reader. It is very easy to do. The pamphlet is the same article as the The biology of Emotions on: The biology of emotions is on: http://home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway or: http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 The longer version, the scientific paper, and my story are on: http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26
Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Sat Jun 10, 2000 10:58pm Subject: Sports > Hi Elnora, > Haven't read the article lately but am putting it in practice in daily life. Very tiring experience I have to say. I channel my anger in a way that I like to talk a lot. But at the moment my body is not cooperating so I have to start doing sports again. So I will take that up. These are stressful times in my business life (but fun at the same time) so I am careful not to push the envelop (although I do sometimes). I feel that if I can channel my energy into my work (which I enjoy) and do sports on a 2 times a week basis I while improve. > > As to my depression: It lifted. What came instead are a lot of energy (both physical and psychological) and I still looking for the right way to channel it into a joyful and enjoyable way of life. > > The meds I take are: > 1. One 75mg Efexor capsule > 2. I have been smoking a lot of marihuana lately which gives me creativity and relaxation. > > If you have any comments I'll be glad to hear from you. > > When you wrote that you have to release the neurons I agree but in what way is a better question. You know you don't want to bother other people to much with your anger. Mitch Dear Mitch, It might be a good time to reread the articles and the Testimonials, and the Archives, and to speed up the self-help measures by being very aware of the excitatory nervous symptoms as triggers to release and redirect anger toward past abusers. I assume Efexor is an antidepressant, and if so, this has relieved your depression. It will fool you into thinking that all is well and you don't need to use the self-help measures. But using the self help as described will have the same effect in your brain as the chemical antidepressant, and in time you should be able to get off the Efexor with medical supervision. You need to work the self-help measures more often and with greater effort if on an antidepressant. It would be better not to channel your anger into talking, but since you recognize that you have anger, when you find yourself overtalking, use the self-help measures, ie find a private place to pound on a bed or wall, and mentally redirect the anger to past abusers. If you are feeling too much energy, like manicky, this is a trigger to release and redirect anger. Of course, you don't want, as you say, to misdirect it toward others. You can be rid of all the excess anger in as little as six weeks. Try to redirect the anger quietly in your mind if you are around people. Talk to your parents and past abusers in your mind. Get mad at them mentally as often as you can. The sports sounds great if you can mentally redirect anger while you are exercising. Here's what Cindy did. "The beating on the bed didn't work for me. Instead I am in a cycling class with pumping, aggressive, outrageous music, and as I am cycling like a mad woman I am imagining my strength at decimating my tormentors. It is very physical and I feel so released. Their faces appear less and less." Ellie 489 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Sun Jun 11, 2000 0:12am Subject: Re: Got a cold > Hi Ellie, > As you know, I've been doing mostly mental redirecting. I've cut one of my antidepressants in half, the dosage that is, for about a week because of money problems and I'm not sure if I should even go back to it but I probably will because I'm just so afraid of that black hole. I did notice that I could cry easier, in fact I found myself crying at my desk one day last week as I wrote an email to a friend in which I told him in no uncertain terms how he had disappointed me. > > But that's not my point. My point is that on Friday I noticed a sore throat coming on, and by today (Sunday) it has developed into a head cold. I hardly ever get colds but I was at a doctor's office last Wednesday and as you know, you can get sick there better than anywhere. > > If this cold is a result of redirecting I've been doing, I don't see the point in suffering without cough medicine, etc. I have read you say not to medicate but if I've already been suffering mentally, why should I also suffer physically? I know and agree with the principles of a "natural diet" and in fact used to be a fresh juice and natural foods person but it has been a long time and I'm just not into suffering. So I'm getting some cough medicine. Stella Those tears are a great sign. I'll bet you won't go into any 'black hole' if you keep doing the redirecting and crying. Those tears are signs you are detoxing, and you won't need the antidepressant back. You'll probably be able to cut it more. You will have a period of grief that sometimes follows being post flood (ie when most of the anger and depression are gone), but you may also have tears along with each detox crisis. The cold is all a part of the detox, probably of emotions and food. Be sure you don't feel any guilt about the cough medicine. If you do, it's anger turned inward, so redirect it. Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Sun Jun 11, 2000 8:11pm Subject: Re: Hypervigilance > > Dear Ellie, > I am receiving messages from the List but was not sure if it is O.K. for me to post or not yet, as I am not yet able to turn my grief into anger enough to pound on pillows or do anything with it yet. It feels like a rock in my chest because I'm on so much medication. >
> Anyway, I wanted to bring to your attention the symptom of hypervigilance. I have that problem; it is when I stare too much and it makes people feel uncomfortable. It is supposed to be a sign of early shock. When I am doing it I feel like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car and I know that fear and rage is what is behind it. But I have to take a strong anti-anxiety pill to keep the symptom from manifesting too much. Melody Dear Melody, You can reply to any post and you will reach me anyway. I then sometimes post it to the list if I think the group will be interested. Are you able to accept that your parents were not able to allow you to have justifiable anger at them. If so that's all you need to know to redirect all the rage to them and other subsequent past abusers. The more you do this the less medication you will need. Do it as often as possible, even when you feel grief or that rock in your chest. Please keep reading the pamphlet, ie the list of excitatory nervous symptoms, and try to notice when you have these symptoms. They are all triggers of detox crises, ie underlying anger wants to get out, and are opportunities to do some redirecting. Hypervigilance is definitely a symptom and a trigger for a detox crisis, and an opportunity to do some pounding on the bed and yelling at your parents and other past abusers. Don't worry about analyzing why you have symptoms or having a specific childhood trauma in mind. You were, and STILL ARE, a deer caught in the headlights. And who is driving the car and trying to run you down?...your parents! Feel the fear and right away know that there is anger under the fear... and pound and yell (muffle your voice if you have neighbors), but get angry at your parents mentally in your mind, or if you can't get near a bed, mentally redirect anger quietly in your mind toward your parents. Their voices are still in your head. Tell them to GET OUT of your head. The way to get rid of the fear is to get the anger out. Try to do this BEFORE you take a pill. If you need the pill anyway go ahead and take it. You will get new chances to do some pounding and redirecting. Never feel guilty if you end up taking the pill, if you feel any guilt do some more redirecting. Guilt is anger turned inward. Tell your parents (in your mind) it's their fault you had to take the pills. Get mad too at the doctors who told you, you needed the pills. They too were trying to suppress your justifiable anger. Do the redirecting as often as you can all through the day. Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Sun Jun 11, 2000 9:14pm Subject: Years on cortisone I started to reduce my cortisone from 20 mg to 17.5 and am redirecting every time I feel down accusing the doctors for having me hooked on that stuff. So far so good. Coco I'm delighted to hear about the cortisone, and yes, yes, get mad at those doctors. I had so much rage to get out about all the poisons psychiatrists gave me non stop for 30 years, sometimes 6-7 different kinds per day. Be sure to get mad at your parents at the same time. If it weren't for them you would never have been put on the cortisone Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Mon Jun 12, 2000 2:40am Subject: Re: Hypervigilance > Ellie! > This post made me glad I'm still subscribing, even though I'm post-flood. I read it and just about fell over -- hypervigilance! I was a starer when I was growing up, although I wasn't particularly aware when I did it. Never knew till today what it was about. I remember being a teenager at a neighborhood summer get-together and having the man across the table (who was also my neighbor from across the street and didn't like me) say to his son-in-law right in front of me, "She's a starer. Don't let her bother you," and then glaring at me. That this staring phenomenon is related to early shock makes perfect sense to me. And now I know why I did it. Love, Shirley I was a starer too. I remember my mother saying, "Don't stare, Elnora, it's not polite" Well, shut up Mom! it's all your fault I was staring. I hope Melody can use the hypervigilance as a trigger to get her anger out. I think Judith Herman in her book about post-traumatic stress talks a bit about this, and how we are always on alert for the abuse. It's like a super state of being ready to be attacked since that is what happened to us as children. Neither parent ever attacked me physically but I was afraid my father would, and my mother attacked my soul with her moralistic code-- the poisonous pedagogy Alice Miller writes about. When I was hospitalized my stare was so intense it became a part of the catatonic state I was sometimes in. Ellie 493 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Mon Jun 12, 2000 4:23am Subject: I still have work to do I want to mention how much effort I know it takes to put into these self-help measures, and I identify with a resistance to doing them. I still find I have work to do about the past from time to time. I was on the roof getting some sun, and realized I had fear when I went to look down from seven floors up. I actually was drawn to the thought of falling and it was scary. Then I remembered being pushed into the water from a diving board when I was around 4. And I needed to feel the fear and go look down and vent some anger at that kid. I didn't want to do it, but I'll do it a few times when I'm up there to heal from that. Ellie--
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Mon Jun 12, 2000 6:09am Subject: (no subject) -- Brightest Greetings Ellie; > Well 15 yrs ago I was diagnosed as having a dependency disorder are you familiar with that term? I am a 37 yr old now. The side affects are depression and anxiety especially if I'm not in a relationship though I am making progress. I hate the feeling you get so insecure in a relationship that you drive the other person almost insane. I am also an ACOA and abused emotionally by my father. I am learning how to be comfortable with myself now without a relationship it's been almost ten years so I am going to give myself permission again to try. I need this group for the support and maybe find some tools in copping with my insecurities before they reach what I call the YULP stage. Sincerely, Ron Dear Ron, I'm glad you are here and hope you will print out the article as a pamphlet and study it and begin the self-help measures. The list is for support for people using the measures in the articles. It is not interactive or a place to find tools for relationships. The tools you need to have a healthy relationship will not be tools you have to learn to use, but will be your natural state when you become post flood. Please read the Testimonials and the longer version and my long story and take your time and read the Archives. Yes, co-dependency is the basic affliction of the whole human race and I wish they were all here to recover. Your anxiety and depression are not because you are not in a relationship but are the result of toxicosis and chemical imbalance in your brain. When you are post flood those symptoms will be gone. You can be rid of your anxiety and depression in a few months if you really work the self-help measures. They are proven to work because they are based on proven science and they have worked for all who used them as described. They are part of the ninth step of recovery from codependency described by Melody Beattie as 'Dealing with those who harmed us,' so like the slogan in 12 step programs says..."It works if you work it." I hope you work the self-help measures and don't look for a relationship at this time. When you are post flood you will have a whole new approach to relationships and finally be able to be intimate if you choose to have a partner, but it will be very different than the codependencies of the past. Ellie
http://home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway or: http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 The longer version, the scientific paper, and my story are on: http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26 To join the Depression-Anxiety list: http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/Depression-Anxiety 495 From: Elnora Van Winkl> Date: Mon Jun 12, 2000 6:16am Subject: Relationships Brightest Greetings Ellie; > Well 15 yrs ago I was diagnosed as having a dependency disorder are you familiar with that term? I am a 37 yr old now. The side affects are depression and anxiety especially if I'm not in a relationship though I am making progress. I hate the feeling you get so insecure in a relationship that you drive the other person almost insane. I am also an ACOA and abused emotionally by my father. I am learning how to be comfortable with myself now without a relationship it's been almost ten years so I am going to give myself permission again to try. I need this group for the support and maybe find some tools in copping with my insecurities before they reach what I call the YULP stage. Sincerely, Ron Dear Ron, I'm glad you are here and hope you will print out the article as a pamphlet and study it and begin the self-help measures. The list is for support for people using the measures in the articles. It is not interactive or a place to find tools for relationships. The tools you need to have a healthy relationship will not be tools you have to learn to use, but will be your natural state when you become post flood. Please read the Testimonials, and the longer version of the article, and my long story, and take your time and read the Archives. Yes, co-dependency is the basic affliction of the whole human race and I wish they were all here to recover. Your anxiety and depression are not because you are not in a relationship but are the result of toxicosis and chemical imbalances in your brain. When you are post flood those symptoms will be gone. You can be rid of your anxiety and depression in a few months if you really work the self-help measures. They are proven to work because they are based on proven science and they have worked for all who used them as described. They are part of the ninth step of recovery from codependency described by Melody Beattie as 'Dealing with those who harmed us,' so like the slogan in 12 step programs says..."It works if you work it." I hope you work the self-help measures and don't look for a relationship at this time. When you are post flood you will have a whole new approach to relationships and finally be able to be intimate if you choose to have a partner, but it will be very different from the codependencies of the past. I hope since you are here, it means you are already in the YULP stage and ready to try the self help measures that promise to bring you a new and wonderful life free of those insecurities of the past. Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Tue Jun 13, 2000 0:21am Subject: How to reply to a post Hello all, My apologies. I see I may not have understood how this eGroup works or they may have changed their system. I thought that if you replied to any post your reply would reach me directly, but not the group. As I mentioned I will then post your comments to the list if I think they will be of help to the list. The list is not directly interactive and I prefer that it not be too repetitious or lengthy. But I see you may get notice and then have to reply to the following in order to reach me. I'll do a bit of testing myself to see if this is the case. Ellie The biology of emotions is on: http://home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway or: http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 The longer version, the scientific paper, and my story are on: http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26 To join the Depression-Anxiety list: http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/Depression-Anxiety
1. Is it better to do redirecting daily at a fixed time or every other day or do you have any specific suggestions on this? For example, my cycle works this way. I feel anger bursting inside once in 3 weeks. So, does that mean that I should do redirecting once in 3 weeks whenever that sensation comes up. Or, am I supposed to redirect whether I genuinely feel the rage on the surface. In other words, can I imitate the redirecting (pound the pillow, or scream in the car etc) and expect the real redirecting to happen? Regina Don't plan to do the redirecting at any fixed time. Your speed of recovery depends on how often you do it. It is important to do it whenever you have excitatory nervous symptoms. Definitely do it when you 'feel anger bursting inside' but do it whether you feel the rage on the surface or not, i.e., do it OFTEN and WHENEVER you feel any nervous symptoms. If you can't physically pound, talk to your parents and past abusers quietly in your mind. Try to understand that these nervous symptoms are signals that there is underlying anger trying to get out. And yes if you do it then you will be able to redirect because you will understand that these excitatory nervous symptoms are triggers for the anger to come out, and it needs to be redirected for you to heal. Once you understand this you will be able to redirect whenever you have a trigger. Please print out the pamphlet and keep reading the section that goes like this: Self-help measures speed recovery from depression. If both partners are in recovery relationships may be restored. At Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings or in experiential therapy we release and redirect anger by sharing about abusive parents or caretakers. Recovery from depression can be speeded up if during the day we recognize excitatory nervous symptoms as signals of emerging anger. Rather than suppress the symptoms, feel the fear, recognize it as underlying anger, release and redirect the anger. The pounding in the chest when confronting someone who was abusive in a current interaction is a sign of repressed anger related to our parents. This anger can be released by pounding on a bed and yelling at our parents while picturing them, or thinking of them. It is NOT an attack on them but on the sickness in them. If it would be too noisy to yell out loud, the anger can be redirected by talking quietly to our parents in our mind. Parental voices stay our head saying things like, "You should be ashamed of yourself, and saying, "Get out of my head," helps. Other symptoms that signal emerging anger are anxiety, neurotic fear, panic attacks, compulsive thoughts or behavior, mania, paranoia, or resentments. These are all detoxification crises and opportunities to release and redirect anger. Go through the fear and other symptoms to the anger and release and redirect the anger. It is important to mentally redirect anger all through the day. Symptoms might be cravings for stimulants, chemical or psychological. They might be guilt or low self-esteem or suicidal thought; these are caused when anger is turned inward. Symptoms might be misdirected anger, rage, or aggressive behavior toward someone who may be innocent or partially innocent. If anger is intense and out of proportion in a current interaction, much of it is repressed anger from previous trauma and needs to be redirected toward past abusers. It is important to do this as if at a meeting or in therapy and not to direct anger toward others in person. If intense anger is triggered in a current interaction, the appropriate anger can be expressed calmly after one has released most of it by pounding on a bed. It is NOT necessary to remember the early trauma in detail. Characteristics of similar abusers, for example male or female authority figures, are laid down in common neural pathways, and it speeds the detoxification process to think of all past abusers during a detoxification crisis. These might include relatives, bosses, persons in authority, partners, or friends. Even notions of God as a parental authority are stored together with characteristics of past abusers and it helps to get mad at God as well. The real God is helping us to heal. Ellie You mentioned that meditation helps to suppress the real anger inside. What you say applies to some kinds of meditation (one of them is Transcendental Meditation - in general, where you use a mantra to suppress your stream of thoughts). However, the real meditation is the best form of release. What I refer here is, like Buddhist kind of meditation. You detach yourself and watch whatever comes up inside of you. Obviously the suppressed anger will come up pretty soon. You simply let them come out in their full strength and evaporate (that is what happens when you don't attach yourself to that emotion. It is only when we identify ourselves with what happens, then we become attached to it). I believe you are familiar with this kind of practices. Then, please tell me, is this not a better form of release? Won't it release the adrenalin stuck in the brain and thereby heal it? I hope you have understood my real concern in this one. If yes, please try and give me a very detailed answer, if you could. Regina This second kind of meditation would be useful if when the anger surfaces you redirect it. If you don't redirect it, it would release some noradrenaline and adrenaline, but it would not release these metabolites in the neurons that are most toxic and need to be detoxed for full recovery. Ellie Yüklə 5,47 Mb. Dostları ilə paylaş:
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