Time After Time

not?" he blasted, irritably. Was this her next rejection?
"Because.... I dance with you and I see things... I think things and I don't know why.... and it's so hard...."
"Well.... what have you been thinking?"
"I.... the bloody dance of love.... we're meant to pretend.... it's not real...."
He said nothing.
"You haven't stopped smiling the times we've danced, y'know that?"
"I haven't?" He wasn't really surprised.
"It's just there-" She traced out its location with her fingertip on her own mouth. "-I wanted to kiss it away.... I wanted to feel it.... but this is all pretend!"
Feeling very self conscious at that moment, Dennis tried his best not to begin feeling around his mouth looking for this smile - even though he knew he was never going to find it.
"You... you wanted to kiss it?" he stammered, disbelievingly. "You wanted to kiss me?"
"Yes." She barely looked at him. "But I won't." she finished regretfully.
"Why not?"
"Because.... the dancing... with you.... it's been so much fun, and anyway - I'd barely realised it was there until just now."
She dared to glance at him for a second, and tore her eyes away, letting the words she spoke next get the better of her and be heard.
"I want that smile so much."
Dennis took in her words well, but was still stuck on the most important thing to him. "You want to kiss me?" he challenged, still unable to believe it.
"Yes!" she cried, more agitated now. "But-"
He cut her off mid-sentence, too consumed by his own selfish need to listen anymore. Cautiously, she met his eyes as he rose from his chair and said
"Then do it. Get it out your system."

Sharon laughed dryly and stared into her glass. "You don't understand. If I kiss you.... if I let it out... then dancing with you is going to lose all its passion, and I don't want that. I have to want you for dancing with you to work, and we both know that it does work - you said so yourself. I can't ruin that."
Crouching down in front of her and daring to cover her hand with his own; as gently as he could, he said "I still don't understand."
Sighing, Sharon pulled her hand out from underneath his and pulled herself up, putting her glass onto a table before looking to him again, her eyes glinting almost in panic as she spoke.
"I'm scared OK?" she cried out, beginning to slowly step further and further back from him, even though he had made no effort to come closer. He was too absorbed in watching her. "I'm too scared to go after that smile, even though I want it so much, because I can't promise myself it'll only be a kiss! And I can't - I won't ruin how good it feels to have you close again, to have fun with you... or how I feel when I'm dancing with you, even if all it is is pretend!"
"We're not pretending anymore Sharon." he told her simply.
"No, I know." she replied meekly. "But just pretend I didn't say anything alright?"
"So that's what you want now is it? To pretend?"
She rolled her head back, laughing nervously, maybe because she could think of nothing else to do to fill the awkwardness of this moment. Catching his eyes searching her face, she turned her back to him and tried to hide in the corner, with her hands over her flushed face.
She went rigid as she heard Dennis stride across the floor and stop, just behind her ear.
"Then let's pretend." he whispered, extending his hand. "Dance with me."
Sharon didn't know how to refuse him because she knew she'd never want to. She turned slowly and took his hand.
Side - hold - forward - hold - again - side - forward - hold - turn - lunge
She spun towards him, her back coming up against his chest a little too hard and making him wince. She grimaced apologetically, although he did not see it. Their moment held fast for them - Dennis clasping Sharon's delicate little hand in his. For every pounding beat of his heart, the ridges of her spine seemed to press into him that little bit harder and he loved it. He loved the feeling of having her so close again.
Dennis rolled his hips gently into hers, encouraging her to give into the sway. By some unknown instinct, she tilted her head a little further against his cheek. It felt right, and she murmured, appreciative of their rhythm.
All Dennis knew to do now was bring his lips down against the curve of her smooth neck, he didn't think to stop himself as he slowly nuzzled her and at once knew not to as Sharon's murmuring became a distinct moan.
The fingertips of her free hand rose towards him, gliding down his cheek to that mouth. Gingerly, she felt his beautiful lips, just wishing.... hoping.
And it was right in that moment that she gave up pretending. Because the smile was there. She felt it right against her skin.
Dennis knew she had by the flinching of her fingertips as they had come near, as if burnt by a charge in his lips.
Wrapping his hand around hers as he lifted his kiss away fom he skin, he felt her begin to shake.
"It's alright!" he whispered against her ear. "I'm scared too."


Swaying gently in Dennis' arms, Sharon daren't open her eyes or say a word. She still hadn't told him as much, but right now, she felt as if she wanted this more than anything in the world. Just the sensation on his skin against hers made her want to cry out - and she was unsure whether biting on her lip to stop herself had in fact been successful. She felt his breath go across her neck - the hairs stood on end and her skin tingled brilliantly.
She held onto his hand fiercely and he seemed to understand her, and did not let go, pushing her gently out into a turn she would have thought to protest if she had only had the time and capacity to think.
Twisting back in, he caught her other arm, lifting them high and encouraging her to spin. Smiling, they established a pace between them, the rapid turns making them become light headed so quickly. It was the best rush, and had they not been so absorbed in what they both knew would come, they would have been laughing as loudly as they had been back at the community centre.
Turning quick on his heel, Dennis couldn't allow the buzz pulsing through him to end and lifted Sharon into his arms again, harder and harder against him as he turned, so wanting to laugh, but he couldn't. He needed to rediscover the moment she had wanted to kiss him, and he reasoned that this was it. His speed wound down as his eyes came to hers. There was something in her face that told him he was right.
She was fixated by the side of his mouth and he knew now what she was admiring. He watched her lips whisper "so scared", but he barely heard the sound.
Not entirely surprised, more annoyed at himself for not letting her draw to her own inevitable conclusion, it was Dennis that moved first. It felt as if his desperate lips barely touched Sharon, but they had, and her own lips had been somewhat expectant, not pausing, even for a moment of shocked contemplation, before answering him, as softly as he had come to her. So softly, injustice beat in his chest as she drew back, eyes burning into eyes.
Sharon came to the floor again without realising. Her arms remained around his neck, her eyes on his, allowing herself to drown in those beautiful emerald pools. She moved her hips into his, knowing he would follow, understand.
And then.... he smiled a smile that made Sharon's stomach wriggle. It brought out the one from the corner, and it danced its way across his mouth, sitting there in its entire glory. She couldn't hold back anymore.
"What?"
She stretched up, and moaned into his mouth as their lips met again, obviously drawn. She bruised his mouth so hard with her own, she thought that she had hurt him, but no. He responded to her with the same force, telling her he understood and that his need was just as fierce as hers. His hands worked their way up from her hips into her stomach, his knuckles kneading her soft flesh, and teasing the band of her trousers, begging to touch as much of her as he could as fleetingly as he could, because he knew she wanted more. He could see it, he could hear it and best of all, he could feel it.
Without necessarily meaning to, he pushed her hard against the wall. She whimpered as the uneven brickwork pressed into her, but she didn't stop kissing him, encouraging him to press harder against her. So she could barely breathe but she didn't care, completely taken over by the idea that his gorgeous teasing smile fitted her kiss perfectly. It was hers.
It did not pass Dennis by that he hadn't seen Sharon at all since that night. Almost a week. They had had three more dance classes since that time, and Sharon had gone to great length to cry off them all. Dennis had gotten an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach that he recalled all too well from the last time each time Vicki had walked into the hall at the community centre and shrugged her shoulders at him. He could have just left, of course, Dennis knew that, but he didn't see why he should. So he'd contradicted himself totally by pairing up with the black-haired girl, who didn't do a very good job of disguising the fact she thought all her Christmases had come at once.
Libby was a good dancer. Very good; the moves came easily with her and she was funny too. Funny, but not fun - not like Sharon. But Dennis refused to let himself think about her and concentrated on the moves, the hips and Jill's much loved expression. It showed in Libby's face that he was definitely getting it right, but he couldn't help but think there was something missing in what she reflected back at him. He saw too much of the little girl in her, even though she was actually incredibly good looking. It just didn't work for him. But the same could not be said for the effect their rumba had on Jill & Simon. They were beside themselves. And Dennis distinctly heard Spencer say to Vicki;
"She's in there!"
Twerp.
The Valentine's Ball was five days away by the time Vicki managed to drag Sharon back to the class. Her eyes darted dangerously around, and had evidently been seeking out Dennis. But as soon as she saw him, he looked away. Just seconds later, he glanced over again, hoping for a scowl, a frown - anything, just some sign of emotion. But she was getting to grips with the basics of the tango with the guy she'd begun dancing with on the night of the first class - and was smiling broadly.
What Dennis didn't know was that Sharon had shown the emotion he'd been hoping to see, but she was by now wise enough not to let it be at a time when he would be glaring over at her as he had done - and he did again, many times through the course of that night. Seeing him, swinging his hips into the svelte looking "twelve year old" - who Vicki had already told her had given her number indirectly to Dennis - she felt as though he'd swung his fist square into her stomach, and tears had prickled in her eyes that she had hastily wiped away as Paul had approached her.
She was sorry for the way she had reacted to Dennis' kiss; she just hadn't said as much yet, and it was hard to know how. It was going to have made no sense to him, she knew. But she hadn't wanted to dance with him again, scared, so scared she would have ruined what they had built, and it wouldn't feel the same. Though, by the looks of it, he didn't care, so she momentarily hoped she wouldn't have to answer his questions.
The tango was fun. It was just like a musical argument.
Step there - pull arm back - spin away - look angry -
It was brilliant.
Brilliant - until the next night. More willing to go this time, Sharon took time over her appearance, spending ages slicking on lip gloss and teasing her eyelashes with the mascara comb. And she had to admit, she looked good. And she felt right at ease walking into the community centre, immediately seeing Paul stood in the centre of the floor, looking as handsome as he had ever done. He smiled as he looked up from the floor and caught sight of her, his eyes drinking in the image of her appreciatively. Well, that was good! Sharon thought, moving on forwards.
She barely saw Dennis stride towards them. Paul's face fell as he clocked his dark, tight expression, which of course, Sharon did not see, until she looked around in surprise, Dennis pulling her by the elbow away from Paul.
"'Scuse us."
"Ow! What the-? Dennis!"
"I want to talk to you."

She didn't feel the need to reply - and she wasn't sure she could have even if she had wanted to. Her stomach was wriggling so vigorously, she couldn't concentrate on much else besides what he was going to say to make it worse.
"Dennis-" she began finally as he let go of her arm, practically flinging her into the empty corridor. "What the hell is your problem?"
"I might ask you the same thing!"
"Look.... we're supposed to be in there. We'll talk about this later."
She tried to move past him, but he was one step ahead and barricaded her way. "Don't make me laugh. As soon as we're back in that house, you'll be out of there. See, I'm not completely dumb Sharon, I have noticed you've been avoiding me."
"It's not li-"
"You know what really gets me?" he hissed, not waiting to hear her finish reeling off her pathetic excuse. "I gave in to what you wanted, and this is the thanks I get for it!"
She didn't know what to say in answer to that, and though all she wanted was for the floor to swallow her up, she couldn't help but stare uncomfortably into his face. "I'm sorry."
He scowled at her. "Yeah right. Just like you were about last time?"
"La- Last time?"
"Pssst! Are you two coming in here or what?"



Vicki stuck her head round the door, whispering as it was obvious from the movement that could be seen beyond her in the hall that the class had started. She didn't wait for a verbal answer, pacified by Sharon's unconvincing nod. Dennis looked quite disgruntled, but took Sharon's hand and led her in anyway.
She really wasn't comfortable with the idea of dancing with him, now more than ever, and hastily stepped round him - and unfortunately stepping right into the idea of the tango with it. She seemed to be misinterpreted by everyone in the room except Dennis, who according to Simon was showing "great musiciality once again" - even though all he was doing was securing a grip on Sharon's wrist to draw her back, whether she liked it or not.
"Last time Sharon." he repeated quietly, although the anger in his tone was undeniable. "Wasn't just a kiss then was it eh?"
"I didn't want that." She closed her eyes to force out the image and the realisation that she knew herself now to be lying.
"Oh you did." he replied, stamping his foot demandingly, in more than just a musical sense. "I can still hear you and believe me, you wanted it."
"Stop it!" she said firmly, pulling her arm away but again being too slow and letting Dennis catch her wrist. She stepped backwards, flexing her hand desperately as he stepped forwards, gripping her wrist tight, with thunder in his eyes.
"Why? Because that's what you want? Piss off."
She laughed in spite of herself. Couldn't he tell she was trying?
As she looked into his eyes, she realised what giving in to the desire that had built dancing with him before had done. His eyes were cold and steely - the passion was gone. And yet the moves still came to them so easily.
"It's happened hasn't it? This is why I didn't want to kiss you Dennis - don't you see?!"
"No."
"It doesn't feel the same anymore."
"We wouldn't have a problem if you hadn't gone so cold on me Sharon and you know it."
"I was scared."
"Well, me too! Do you not think all this has scared me? You barely talk to me for months on end, and then you suddenly want me like I- Forget it - you're good at that."
"For God's sake, it was only a kiss!"
"Course it was."
Unable to tell even herself whether she ran the back of her hand down his cheek to comfort him or as part of their sequence, Sharon did it anyway, stung as he tilted his head away and instead held her hips, grinding into her, first on the left, then the right, forcing her to counteract his action as she stepped back trying to avoid his advancement.
"I won't pretend I didn't want it - we've given up pretending haven't we darlin'? - but I'd never have done it if you hadn't so blatantly told me that's what you wanted too you stupid cow. I got enough of the self-torture last time round. Why did you say anything if you were going to be like this? You've got no bloody right to treat me like I've forced this all on you - I did what you wanted because you wanted it. I was just.... I thought we were having fun together with all this.... I'd have been happy with that-"
Sharon lifted her chin defiantly. She didn't believe him for a second.




It didn't stop her feeling awful though, and resolved to find him and apologise before the class the next night. She searched the house, the club, The Vic, the bookies and even the gym before giving up and trudging to the community centre to tell Vicki that maybe she'd give it a miss this time too. But the hall was entirely empty, apart from Jill & Simon, whom she remained happily unnoticed by, as they were crouched on the floor, musing over a load of CDs spread out over the floor.
Sighing, she turned and leant against the wall, and saw Dennis come through the door. He noticed her immediately and barely managed to raise a smile.
"Hi." she murmured apprehensively.
"Hi."
"Alright?"
He shrugged.
"Look, there's no-one else here - can I just talk to you for a sec?"
"I've said enough thanks."
But she caught his elbow. "Please?"
And he couldn't refuse her - he never had, had he? "What?"
"Don't be like that. I want to say I'm sorry. And I mean it. I didn't mean to hurt you, and you're right; it's my fault - all of it." She looked at him pointedly, raising an eyebrow, trying to make him see that she really did mean all of it.
"It's not about it being your fault Sharon. I just want you to realise that.... that first time.... I never did just decide I wanted to have sex with you.... and even if I had... I swear, I'd never have expected it to happen. And.... the other day...."
"Was the same?"
"Yeah."
"I know that wasn't your fault - you're right - you were only doing what I wanted."



"I'm not stupid or anything you know. You said that us.... dancing.... it made you think things.... that it couldn't be real-"
"Well maybe it's not." she reasoned feebly.
"Mmmm, maybe not - but you're not stupid either."
Her lip curled in utter confusion and that made Dennis chuckle, perhaps at his own inarticulacy. "I just... I don't wanna have to feel like I've got to ignore you all the time cos things have gone on between us. We can still do stuff together can't we? This...?" He looked hesistantly over his shoulder in the direction of the hall, where Jill was screeching; "Punk rock? For God's sake Si, this is ballroom, not breakdancing!"
"I don't know...." Sharon began, having to choose her words wisely and quickly as she watched the corners of Dennis' mouth fall tellingly. "It's not that I don't want to, it's just- I really do think it died when we- if it doesn't feel the same anymore, it won't work the same will it?"
"Then, let's make it work the same."
The determination in his voice made a knot materialise in her stomach. Before she knew what she was doing, never meaning the words to be heard, she blurted "I can't feel like that again!"
"What?"
"Shit!" she cried, realising what had happened. "Dennis, I'm sorry, it's just... you said I went cold on you after...."
Knowing exactly what she was going to say next, he shifted uncomfortably on the spot without saying a word in reply.
"And it was just a kiss right? If I feel like that again.... I really can't say that's all it'll be-"
Weirdly, Dennis liked hearing that. But it was with panic that Sharon noticed the gentle smile stretching across his lips.
"And I really won't risk it, not to that extent."
"It's not anything we haven't done before though is it?"
"You know that's not the point. That wasn't meant to happen."
"But it did.... and you need to deal with it." he told her bluntly.
"Oi! Don't be having a go at me, alright? I'm not in denial here-"
"Really sounds like it."
"Oh sod it!" she snapped, flinging up for her hands in defeat. "I'm not listening to this! I know I care about you; why does it have to be anything sexual?"
"Because.... one, you're trying too hard to convince yourself it's not, and two, because you already know it's there." He straightened up, shrugging again.
"Is there a three?"
There was, but Dennis didn't say anything. There was no point. He sighed and shook his head gently. "No."
"Good." she responded, laughing as she heard Jill say
"Piss off Simon. This track stays alright? We need to get 'em comfortable with slow dancing before they try for the moves.... still strangers remember?"
"That sounds fun, don't it?" Dennis muttered dryly, nodding in the direction of the doorway, not really caring for an answer, which was good because he didn't get one.


"Oh hello you two. Alright?"
Sharon flinched in surprise as Simon's voice rose behind her, rather taken with staring at a certain point on the floor. "F-Fine thanks." she stammered.
"Listen.... I don't suppose you'd do Jill and me a favour would you?"
Before either of them could even formulate an answer, Simon was pulling Sharon into the room, and Dennis couldn't do anything besides follow.
"We were thinking about using half of the time we have here tonight to go through the principles of slow dance...." he told them, looking between them for a reaction that only Dennis gave.
"Oh yeah?" Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced at Sharon with interest.



"Yeah. Obviously, what with the fantastic rumba we've seen come from you two, you'll have no trouble with that. It was more the other half I was worrying about."
"The other half?" Sharon asked, her eyes fixed square into his, not daring to stray and meet Dennis'.
"We were going to try the jive." He saw she looked confused. "Don't worry.... it sounds corny I know, but just try and think of it as rock and roll - you're not meant to think too hard.... and the steps do seem to come to you two quite well-"
"Don't they?"
Jill & Simon went on to show them a few basic steps.... kicks and jumps, that type of thing, and although Sharon and Dennis began a little awkwardly, their teachers were loving what they saw and Jill announced, hovering over the hi-fi again.
"We're not expecting to be all-out energetic straight off OK so.... just go with what comes to you." She pressed the button and the song exploded into the room.