P 108 CC: 531, IT P3: 537
It is not a problem for stayers only, but for all women in Italy, for female leavers too, because there is no enough assistence for women who work. To understand how women combine work and family we have to take into consideration: the cultural model -women take care of children- social practices related to it (e.g granparents who help, or mothers who stay home instead of working) structural level: only 11% of babies can be at public nurseries, the State doesn’t help, it somehow takes part in re-creating the cultural model and the practices.
Cultural model: ‘women take care of children,’ a conscious woman ICEBERG 2: ... if women could start leaving their children, could be less protective and say: -Darling, it’s your turn now, 3 or 4 months at home, I am going to work ! (she stresses the fact that men do not take parental leave !!) This discrimination would automatically disappear, this discrimination, I mean you are inevitably left behind, because it’s always a woman who stays at home, then a man, the employer wouldn’t say:- I prefer hiring a man! Just 9 months of pregnancy, and anyway there are no problems, I had worked until I was 8 months pregnant with S., and 7 months with M., so.
CB: it’s not an illness, then it can always happen that, obviously, after breast feeding, things. CB: it’s not an illness, then it can always happen that, obviously, after breast feeding, things.ICEBERG 2: and breast feeding is indispensable until the 4th month, I’ve never done it with either of my kids, but for other reasons, hem, but there are women who stay at home for 2 years and the husband is working, but why? [laughs].CB: sorry, I did not understand.ICEBERG 2: [laughs] it’s our fault [laughs], that’s what I mean!P102 CC: 939 , P39 NR:927
(...) (...)CB: and, how, how do you share your responsibilities with, apart from your parents, with your husband? How do you divide your duties?ICEBERG 2: you mean?CB: as a family.ICEBERG 2: well, it’s all equally divided, then obviously, considering our own peculiarities and different schedules, I don’t know, but, I don’t know, I am waiting for a baby sitter in the morning and my husband takes our son to the nursery, I’ll stay at work tonight and he’ll be at home with children! [laughs] some times he goes out and I stay with them, but also the other way around, I mean, there’s no, but we it’s always been 50/50. Even feeding them, as I did not do breast feeding, so even bottle feeding [laughs].
…. ….ICEBERG 2: yes [laughs]. It’s always women’s fault, but, they will kill me! But it’s often the case! There are men who really don’t want to, I mean I’ve seen many women who don’t want to leave, I mean, I have a colleague that you say: - Let’s go out for dinner ! and she goes: - But who will I leave my child with? No I don’t want to leave him at my mother’s again, no, no!, -Well leave him with your husband then ! that was my spontaneous reaction, and she said that she did not trust him!CB: really! The father of your children and you don’t trust him?ICEBERG 2: this is a woman who works at T, I mean, she has a degree, no no, I can’t accept that.P102 CC: 995, P39 NR: 974An example of co-construction of meanings related to ‘women as the only one who can take care of children’ in practices both by women and by men.
Cultural model: ‘women take care of children,’ a ‘less conscious’ woman GC: I see, but why, were you on your own? ICEBERG8: oh no, no, they have a father as well, but he works, so no, no, they have a father (physicist). …during the most difficult time we helped each other a lot, hum- now, hum he is- we don’t have a division, well, a little, we do have tasks, anyway, it’s a bit, hum, it’s rather about who is taking kids to school, for instance, anyway, he does things, anyway, he takes them to their - the kids at this age are engaged in so many activities anyway.
I do most of the things anyway… definitely he isn’t someone who doesn’t do his duties, he is not someone who is never there, but clearly I am the one who is in charge of these things… this is a bit [smiles] like many mothers, I think at least the majority, I talk to my female friends, and, hum, let's say, house work, in the end, I can see that in 99 per cent of the cases housework is done by women, more or less that’s the way it goes, in our family too, it’s not any different, anyway, I mean, let’s say I am responsible for the baby sitter…I am in control of this part, and for the house to a great extent, I’ve always taken care of it, it does not mean that he is completely absent, like many, I mean, that come home at 7,30 in the evening and no longer exist, I do most of the things anyway… definitely he isn’t someone who doesn’t do his duties, he is not someone who is never there, but clearly I am the one who is in charge of these things… this is a bit [smiles] like many mothers, I think at least the majority, I talk to my female friends, and, hum, let's say, house work, in the end, I can see that in 99 per cent of the cases housework is done by women, more or less that’s the way it goes, in our family too, it’s not any different, anyway, I mean, let’s say I am responsible for the baby sitter…I am in control of this part, and for the house to a great extent, I’ve always taken care of it, it does not mean that he is completely absent, like many, I mean, that come home at 7,30 in the evening and no longer exist,
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