Informational handbook

Use of Names

Unlike the United States, first names are used very infrequently in Korea even among members of the same family. Instead, consistent with the general attention to relationship, the emphasis is on the position of the person referenced. For example, Professor Kim Chul Soo would be called Kim Kyosu-nim (which glosses sort of as "Honorable Professor Kim") by everybody except his closest friends who are age peers and some members of his family. "Mr. Kim," and especially "Chul Soo," are not appropriate. Kim Paksa-nim ("Dr. Kim") will do nicely, of course, and may be preferred in some circles. You can drop the "nim" ONLY if the person is a lot younger than you are. Actually, you can drop the family name fairly easily – as people are important for their role more than their individuality, you can greet someone as “Kyosu-nim” or “Paksa-nim” (Professor or Doctor) without a family name, and it is perfectly common and acceptable (particularly when you can’t remember their blasted NAME!!!)

One possible way not to offend someone of unknown status (at least to you) is to call the person "Sonsaeng-nim.”. This literally means “person born before me” (and thus honored), though it roughly translates as "teacher." It should be complimentary enough to the person you are referencing or addressing to survive until you learn the correct title. The person may correct you if it is not appropriate, but probably will not be embarrassed or offended at first. Eventually you’ll have to learn the real title, particularly if the person is entitled to a more distinguished title (such as Kyosu-nim). All this information is true even if you are speaking only English – you can actually say “Professor” and let it go at that.
Note that "mister" and "miss" are social ranks, NOT marital states. A "mister" is a young male office staff member, and the much more widely used "miss" is any female office-level or service-level person under age 35 or so, whether married or not. "Miss Park," the KAEC accountant, has been married for several years.

Name Cards

The necessity of name cards is such a cliché as to be embarrassing. Exchanging business cards is an important courtesy in Korea as it keys people to their relative social status and helps to define the appropriate behavior for their relationship. You need name cards. You need to have them with you. It is becoming more acceptable in social situations for Koreans to smile a bit shamefacedly and admit that they have run out of name cards, but never on a formal visit to someone. You give your name card with two hands (or the right hand while holding the right elbow with the left hand), you receive the other person’s name card in the same way. Accept the other person’s card with deliberation and handle it with respect while in the presence of the person, i.e. put it on the table in front of you rather than shoving it in your wallet immediately. (You also keep it – it may be the most precious thing you get that week for getting your work done. It means you now know the person and have, however tenuous, a “relationship” that you can call upon later to get things done.). The Fulbright office can arrange to have name cards printed up for you when you arrive.

Gift Giving

Korea is a gift-giving society. Koreans spend a much higher percentage of their discretionary income than Americans on gifts to non-family members. Koreans do not like to go anywhere "empty-handed," so when they visit someone's home whether it be a relative, a friend or a new acquaintance, they usually bring a gift with them. You should do the same. Fresh fruit, flowers, chocolates, liquor, etc. are always safe bets when visiting someone's home. (It is not customary to take such a gift when you have been invited to a meal at a restaurant.)

Gifts invariably are wrapped. It is not customary to unwrap them in the presence of the giver; that is something you would do in private later. Teachers are sometimes given gifts by their students, particularly around “Teachers’ Day” in early May. Normally, these are not meant to be anything but tokens of appreciation for the efforts made by the teacher.
Unless they are really expensive items, most gifts can be accepted graciously – those things which Americans might think of as “quite expensive” are often given quite freely. If the situation (not the price) is such that the gift might be inappropriate (an implicit bribe from a student who is failing a course) it is possible – though very difficult – to refuse it. The distinction between a gift and a bribe is quite clear in theory. A simple rule of thumb is that a bribe is given before the fact and a gift comes afterwards. In practice, however, in a reciprocal giving society where gifts go back and forth all the time, this distinction breaks down very easily. If you are seriously concerned that the gift may be inappropriate, however, it's best to unwrap it immediately, pleading American custom as your excuse. It is always difficult to refuse a gift, but it is doubly so to return it later after you have accepted it without question. If you have received a gift and are uncertain about the implications involved, ask the Executive Director or Deputy Director.
Gifts of cash by students to teachers are common in schools (elementary through high school) but are becoming recognized as a serious social problem in Korea. While cash gifts are unusual on the college level, you should refuse them, as they never come without strings.

Status of Women

In terms of their legal status, Korean women have eliminated much of the discrimination which deprived them of certain basic rights such as rights to inheritance or family headship, etc. and which has been part and parcel of the Confucian social structure.

In non-legal terms, however, Korean women continue to be on the receiving end of rather rigid stereotyping, which discourages job-holding and the pursuit of leadership positions, and encourages motherhood and passivity. Korean women are paid, on average, 50% as much as men for the same work. Surveys consistently show that large majorities of Korean, including the women, support such inequity. Nonetheless, commentators often remark on the impressive strength of will of Korean women at the most fundamental levels.
Foreign-looking women may be accorded "honorary male status" in certain contexts such as their collegial relationships on the campus. This treatment can even extend to the drinking houses where they may be toasted as one of the "old boys" when everyone is deep in their cups (other women sit separately and are ignored).
On the other hand, sexual harassment is quite common, from men making suggestive remarks about women's bodies or their supposed "lovers," or forcing them to join in drinking matches, or unwanted touching, up to fairly common groping on the subways and busses. Korean women used to endure in silence, but are becoming more willing to speak out and object. We suggest you scream and run away - propriety has already been broken - but your own situation and personality will determine what you think is the proper response. If the harassment occurs in an institutional setting where the perpetrator is known, much more can be done and will be done, as long as you are sure to tell the Fulbright office. Dealing with sexual harassment is a serious issue that Fulbright takes seriously, and will be addressed at some length in orientation.