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B. Responsibilities and virtues in the respect to the family.

The family.

The family is the first basis of the moral peace. Here for the first time the man becomes acquainted with morals and develops in himself moral life. That was why the Lord Savior before He began the service for society, blessed a marrying couple by His visit. And the apostles, preaching the word of God to the nations, first of all introduced it into the houses. On the moral welfare of each family depends the welfare of the entire society, and the state; and destruction of the family has by the inevitable consequence destruction of society and the state.

Family is based on marriage, which is nothing else but the voluntary and based on love union of two persons of different sexes, which has as a goal the perfect mutual completion and assistance, and its consequence is the birth and upbringing of children. It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him (Gen. 2:18); or: shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh (Math. 19:5; Gen. 2:24); here is the expression of the purpose of marriage. And God blessed them, and God said unto them (Adam and Eve): Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth (Gen. 1:28) — this is the expression of the consequence, or the fruit of marriage. Childlessness does not destroy the essence of marriage and does not deprive of its purpose. True marriage is possible only with monogamy; by polygamy are excluded complete devotion and equality of two persons, required by the essence of marriage. Marriage according to its idea must be indissoluble. Getting married with the thought about its possible dissolution subsequently makes complete devotion of two persons impossible.

Entering into marriage is not given to the arbitrariness of the man. For the persons, destined by nature and circumstances for life in marriage, entering into marriage is the requirement of duty. Marriage, which leads the man into many moral tasks and responsibilities, is an important school of a person’s training for his activity. At the same time the mankind can continue on the divine arrangement only through marriage. Therefore deviation from marriage because of selfish purposes is unnatural. But there occur cases of obligation to remain out of marriage. Celibacy can be involuntary and free. There can be that, for example, the service is incompatible with the marital state; either the man will fail in choosing the person to get married, or he does not have means for supplying the wife and children, in this case it is necessary to remain out of marriage temporarily or forever. But voluntary celibacy is known under the name of monasticism. After obtaining the gift of celibate life, the man accepts it for the kingdom of heaven's sake (Math. 19:11). He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife (1 Cor. 7:32,33). Ap. Paul by no means belittles the significance of marriage; on the contrary, he calls marriage “a great mystery” (Eph. 5:32), and those lowering its merit he calls “speaking lies,” “seducing spirits” (1 Tim. 4:1-3). But at the same time celibacy for the Lord and the reign of God he places above marriage. It is good for a man not to touch a woman, He says (1 Cor. 7:1). I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I (8). He that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better (38). The preference of celibacy for the Reign of God is supposed in the words of the Lord Jesus Christ: All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given…He that is able to receive it, let him receive it (Math. 19:11,12). As the book of Revelation depicts, before the heavenly throne it is being sung a song, which cannot learn no one from the “defiled with women” (14:3,4). And who will not agree that the state, with which they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven (Math. 22:30), must be set above that state, in which they are in dependence on the terrestrial conditions and carnal sensations? Or who will not agree that that being rejecting the benefits of marriage, brings to God great sacrifice? But, certainly, unclean celibacy, which violates the vow to God, must be set much lower than clean marriage. Therefore the apostle says: But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn (1 Cor. 7:9).

So that marriage would be correct from the moral point of view, it must be marriage not only on the inclination, but also on the reason. Marriage is abnormal, if those getting married have a great difference in age (an old man is married to a young girl). There cannot be complete accordion and unity, also, in such a case, when between the persons getting married there is the enormous difference in upbringing and education. Marriages of the persons of different religions are allowed from the canonical point of view and they can be happy. Although one cannot fail reminding of some moral difficulties because of different confessions of spouses. Finally, marriages in the family relationship are prohibitive. The basis for the prohibition of marriages between close relatives is the following: between the relatives already exist certain moral relations, and these relations would be defiled and destroyed with the new relations, started in marriage.

The parents can show essential assistance to the desiring to get married. The children will need to obtain the blessing for the marriage from the parents, for a father's blessing gives a family firm roots (Sir. 3:9), the children must turn to the parents for advice in this important deal. But in this case the parents have right only to approve, but not to choose; the choice must be of the one getting married. To marry following the order is immoral.