Рассказы пособие по домашнему чтению для студентов IV курса факультета мэо составители: доц. Шепелева И. М

Jeremy Howard

(Secretary)

“I'm off to do the shopping,” shouted Carol from the top of the stairs. “What are your plans for the morning?”

“I'm going to have a round of golf,” said Michael, folding up the letter.

“Good idea,” said Carol to herself but only wondered who Michael would find to play against in the future.

Quite a few members noticed Michael and Philip teeing up at the first hole that Saturday morning. The club captain commented to the Colonel that he was glad to observe that the quarrel had been sorted out to everyone’s satisfaction.

“Not to mine,” said the Colonel under his breath. “You can't get drunk on tomato juice.”

“I wonder what the devil they can be talking about,” the club captain said as he stared at them both through the bay windows. The Colonel raised his binoculars to take a closer look at the two men.

“How could you possibly miss a four-foot putt, dummy?” asked Michael when they had reached the first green. “You must be drunk again.”

“As you well know,” replied Philip, “I never drink before dinner, and I therefore suggest that your allegation that I am drunk again is nothing less than slander.”

“Yes, but where are your witnesses?” said Michael as they moved up onto the second tee. “I had over fifty, don't forget.”

Both men laughed.

Their conversation ranged over many subjects as they played the first eight holes, never once touching on their past quarrel until they reached the ninth green, the farthest point from the clubhouse. They both checked to see there was no one within earshot. The nearest player was still putting out some two hundred yards behind them on the eighth hole. It was then that Michael removed a bulky brown envelope from his golf bag and handed it over to Philip.

“Thank you,” said Philip, dropping the package into his own golf bag as he removed a putter. “As neat a little operation as I’ve been involved in for a long time,” Philip added as he addressed the ball.

“I end up with forty thousand pounds,” said Michael grinning, “while you lose nothing at all.”

“Only because I pay at the highest tax rate and can therefore claim the loss as a legitimate business expense,” said Philip, “and I wouldn't have been able to do that if I hadn't once employed you.”

“And I, as a successful litigant, need pay no damages received in a civil case.”

“A loophole that even this Chancellor hasn't caught on to,” said Philip.

“Even though it went to Reggie Lomax, I was sorry about the solicitors' fees,” added Michael.

“No problem, old fellow. They're also one hundred percent claimable against tax. So as you see, I didn't lose a penny and you ended up with forty thousand pounds tax free.”

“And nobody the wiser,” said Michael, laughing.

The Colonel put his binoculars back into their case.

“Had your eye on this year’s winner of the President’s Putter, Colonel?” asked the club captain.

“No,” the Colonel replied. “The certain sponsor of this year’s Youth Tournament.”

Commentary and Assignments

Commentary:

loophole	a way of escaping or avoiding something especially one provided by a rule or agreement written without enough care: a loophole in the tax laws (рус. «лазейка», «увертка»)
AGM	abbrev. for annual general meeting
chestnut	infml. a joke or story so old and well-known that it is no longer funny or interesting
a Mini	trademark, a type of small British car very popular among young people especially in the 1960s
to putt [p⋀t]	(in the game of golf) to strike gently along the ground towards or into the hole
putter [p⋀tə]	a golf club used in putting the ball
tee [ti:]	(in golf) a small pile of sand or a specially shaped plastic or wooden object from which the ball is first driven at the beginning of each hole
to tee up	phr. to prepare to hit (the ball)
handicap	sport. a disadvantage given to stronger competitors, such as carrying more weight or starting from a worse position (f.e. a three-stroke handicap in golf)
Georgian house	buildings, furniture etc. come from the time of the four British kings called George, from 1714 to 1830. Georgian buildings are considered to be very attractive and are often built in a Neoclassical style, from red brick with white stone decorations.
JP	abbrev. for a justice of peace
rep	sales representative
innuendo	a remark that suggests smth unpleasant or disappointing without saying it directly
the final straw	the difficulty, trouble that makes the total unbearable when it is added to one’s present difficulties or troubles (comp: “the last straw that breaks the camel’s back”)
Chancellor (Chancellor of Exchequer)	the British government minister in charge of taxes and government spending