1 Then it was told Joab, “Behold, the king is weeping and mourns for Absalom.” 2 The victory that day was turned to mourning for all the people, for the people heard it said that day, “The king is grieved for his son.” 3 So the people went by stealth into the city that day, as people who are humiliated steal away when they flee in battle. 4 The king covered his face and cried out with a loud voice, “O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son!” 5 Then Joab came into the house to the king and said, “Today you have covered with shame the faces of all your servants, who today have saved your life and the lives of your sons and daughters, the lives of your wives, and the lives of your concubines, 6 by loving those who hate you, and by hating those who love you. For you have shown today that princes and servants are nothing to you; for I know this day that if Absalom were alive and all of us were dead today, then you would be pleased. 7 “Now therefore arise, go out and speak kindly to your servants, for I swear by the LORD, if you do not go out, surely not a man will pass the night with you, and this will be worse for you than all the evil that has come upon you from your youth until now.” 8 So the king arose and sat in the gate. When they told all the people, saying, “Behold, the king is sitting in the gate,” then all the people came before the king. Now Israel had fled, each to his tent.
David's warriors, who risked their necks to save their king, now hang their heads in shame. A day of victory suddenly is transformed into a day of mourning. The soldiers begin to sneak into the city, as though they have done something wrong. They are like a field goal kicker who has a chance to kick a 20-yard field goal and win the game, but misses. They are ashamed to go back to their side of the field, to approach the bench, and to look at the coach. This is the way David's soldiers feel.
The king is weeping and mourning over the death of Absalom. Over and over he repeats, “O my son Absalom, O Absalom, my son, my son!” Joab is not inclined to join with David in his mourning. In fact, Joab is not inclined to put up with David's mourning. Joab goes into the house. He does not deal gently with David. In Joab's mind, David is making the greatest mistake of his life, and he is about to suffer consequences far greater than any he has yet experienced.
Joab rebukes David for putting everyone who has come with him from Jerusalem to shame, not just his soldiers, but his wives and children, and his concubines as well. By his response to the day's events, David reveals that he loved his enemy more than his friends and family. He loved those who hated him more than those who loved him. He had shown a total disregard for those who were willing to give their all for their king. Joab puts it as bluntly as it could be said: David would rather have heard that his entire army was slaughtered and that his son Absalom was alive than to learn that his army had prevailed, but that Absalom was dead.
Joab virtually commands David what he should do next. He should get up, stop his mourning, and go out to the gate to greet the victorious warriors who are still returning from the battle. If he does not do so immediately, Joab assures him that by daybreak there will not be a soldier left with him. The king does what Joab tells him to do. He goes down to the gate, and it is not long before everyone knows he is there and comes before the king. Meanwhile, the Israelites who had joined with Absalom flee to their tents. The war is over. David is once again King of Israel.
Conclusion
This passage has a great deal for us to learn. I believe there is something to learn from each of the key characters of this drama. Let me call your attention to some of these lessons.
First, we can learn from the two villains of our text, Absalom and Ahithophel. Both of these men had been close to David earlier in their lives. Both chose to rebel against David and to seek his overthrow. Neither man seems to be godly or to view their circumstances from God's point of view. Neither seems disturbed that they sought to kill God's anointed king. Both men have their lives end tragically, in death. Both must have seen God's hand at work in David's life and in his rule as king. Both are willing to cast David aside in an attempt to build some kind of “kingdom” of their own. Both men are like Satan, and like Adam and Eve, in that they are unwilling to play a subordinate role. They seem to think that under David's rule they are being prohibited from something better, which they can obtain by pursuing their own interests.
These two men, Absalom and Ahithophel, fail to correctly answer the most important question any person will ever answer in their lifetime: “Who will I serve as king?” Absalom and Ahithophel do not want David for their king. Both, in effect, want to be king of their own lives. But in rejecting David as their king, they are rejecting God's king, and thus they are rebelling against God Himself. Both of these men have great ability, but in the end, their talents are of no eternal profit.
This question has never really changed. It was the question before there ever was a human king over Israel, and it has been the question ever since. Adam and Eve rejected God as their ultimate authority and sought to set themselves above Him. The Israelites rejected God as their King when they demanded to have a king like all the other nations (see 1 Samuel 8:7). Absalom and Ahithophel and the others who followed in the rebellion against David rejected God's king as their king. When our Lord Jesus Christ came to the earth, He came as the One who would sit on the throne of his father, David. He came as God's anointed King, and yet the crowds replied that they had no king but Caesar. The Lord Jesus Christ came the first time to be rejected as Israel's King, so that he might bear the guilt of our sin and provide the means for us to enter into His kingdom. All who receive His gift of the forgiveness of sins and eternal life will reign with Him for all eternity. He is coming again, to defeat all His enemies and to establish His throne upon the earth. All those who have received Him as God's provision for their salvation have also received Him as their King. All those who have rejected His gift of salvation have rejected Him as King. When He comes again, all men will bow before Him as God's King, but only those who have received Him as Savior will enter into His kingdom. Who is your king? That is the most important question you will ever answer.
Second, we can learn from Joab. One may argue whether Joab should have killed Absalom, against David's orders. It may be that Absalom would have died on his own. I think we can see that Joab was right to rebuke the king for his response to his victory and the death of Absalom. Joab was David's subordinate, but he was right to rebuke him. Biblical admonition is sometimes required in response to the sin of those in authority over us. We will need to do this prayerfully and carefully, but rebuke may nonetheless be in order.
Further, we should learn from this text that we may be corrected by those who are not only our subordinates, but who are also less than mentors to us. There are many things to criticize about Joab, but the fact is that here he is right in what he says to David. There is a lot of talk these days of “mentoring” and “accountability.” The assumption seems to be that every one of us needs someone to whom we are accountable, some “mentor” who will mentor us. There is an element of truth in this, and much that needs clarification and correction. But my point here is that we should not restrict who we will learn from to our list of who we would have mentor us. Our enemy may be our best critic. He does not care about losing our respect or our friendship. He does not worry about offending us. He (or she) may tell us things that our “friends” never will. Joab rebukes David. David listens, and David learns. Let us learn to learn from those we do not like, from those who may not like us either.
Third, we can learn from David's loss of perspective. Joab rightly rebukes David because his values have gotten entirely messed up. In Joab's words, David has come to love his enemies and hate his friends. He cares more about the well-being of his arch enemy than he does the nation whom he is supposed to shepherd under God. David came to care more about one member of his family than everyone else. In this, David is wrong, and Joab is right.
David is wrong to instruct his commanders not to harm Absalom. Absalom should have died several times over. He should have died for the premeditated murder of Amnon, against the law. He should have died for his rebellion against his father (prior to this text). And he should have died for high treason, in seeking to kill God's anointed king and appoint himself as king. How can David expect his army to fight against Absalom's army and not fight against Absalom? As David once used his authority to condemn a righteous man (Uriah) to death, he now seeks to use his authority as king to keep a revolutionary from the death penalty he deserves. David's perspective is completely messed up. It takes Joab's sharp rebuke to bring him out of his mental stupor.
I would like to suggest that just as David lost his perspective in our text, we often lose our perspective, without even being aware of it. For example, we know that this world and all that is in it will perish in the twinkling of an eye. And yet we persist in our efforts to accumulate things. We lay up treasure on earth, rather than laying up treasure in heaven. We know (intellectually) that the lost are going to spend eternity in hell, separated from God. And yet we fail to get to know our neighbors, or to share the gospel (the “good news”) with them. Is our perspective not as badly warped as David's was?
We see David placing the well-being of his son Absalom over the well-being of the rest of his family and over the rest of David's kingdom. In this case, has David not put “family” above more important things? As David refused to deal with his son as his sin deserved, seeking to “spare” him, do we not refuse to deal with the disobedience and rebellion of our children, fearing we might lose them? Do we not refuse to discipline a willfully sinning saint because we can't bear the thought of losing them or what they do for us? Let us learn from David that we can all lose our perspective quickly, without ever knowing it. The only way we can maintain a proper perspective is to continually saturate our minds with the Word of God. It is in the Bible that we gain a biblical perspective. Let us be men and women of the Word so that we see life from God's perspective.
Finally, we can learn much from David's depression. These were the darkest days of David's life. It is hard for me to describe David's state of mind with any other word than depression. It has taken me a long time to be able to say this, but I believe that a Christian can be depressed. To press this matter further, I believe a Christian can be depressed and not be “in sin” for experiencing depression. Some depression is the result of sin (that is certainly a part of David's depression). Some depression may, itself, be sin. That is, we may willfully choose to be depressed, even though we know our depression is rooted in sin. But I am not willing any longer to categorize all depression as sinful, in and of itself.
Years ago a very godly older man stood up in a worship service and read a text about our Lord in the Garden of Gethsemane. He commented (actually he read a modern translation that said) that our Lord was depressed. To my shame I must say that I stood and corrected that man, insisting that depression is sin and thus our Lord could not have been depressed. We can be depressed and not be in sin. David, I believe, was depressed. His depression may well have played a part in his warped perspective and priorities.
The thing I wish you to notice in our text is that God spared David from death and gave him the victory over Absalom in spite of the fact that he was depressed, in spite of the fact that David commanded his men not to harm Absalom. God's purposes and promises are not frustrated by our sin, and most certainly not by our depression. These were days when David's faith and hope had to be at an all time low. Did this keep God from achieving His purposes? Not for one moment!
I point this out for a very important reason. There is a great deal of evangelical teaching and thinking which would suggest that God cannot work in the midst of our depression. The teaching of PMA (positive mental attitude) abounds today. If we have a positive outlook, good things are bound to come. If we are prone to “stinkin' thinking” we are headed for trouble. That is what some folks teach. It has its own Christian form. If we but have enough faith, God will accomplish great things for us. If we lack faith, we deserve the suffering and sorrow that results.
There are many things wrong with this viewpoint. We give ourselves far too much credit for God's blessings. We attribute God's blessings to our faith, our obedience, our positive mental attitude. But when depression comes (as it undoubtedly will), we have no hope from the PMA school of thought. We believe that God is limited to working when we are optimistic, full of faith and joy. Very often Christians hypocritically go around faking the presence of peace, joy, and faith, because they are expected to have it. At this point in his life, David did not have peace, joy, or great faith. David was at the lowest point in his life. And yet God fulfilled his purposes and promises in spite of David's mental state. God provided many friends who stood with David in this difficult time. God used Hushai to frustrate the counsel of Ahithophel. He used Joab to eliminate Absalom and to rebuke David. God worked in David's life, not because he was full of faith, joy, and hope at the moment, but because He was faithful to fulfill His promises.
I want to take this matter of depression one step further. Many times when one is depressed, their perspective is warped -- they do not see life accurately. But there is also a sense in which depression may help us to see life more clearly. Are we overly confident in our own efforts, our own righteousness, our own faith? Depression will wipe out all such self-confidence. Many of those who are most confident, most joyful and happy, most successful are deceived about the source of their abilities and of their successes. David saw life less clearly at the pinnacle of his success than he did at the depths of his humiliation. David did not trust in himself in his despair. All he could do was to cast himself upon God, resting and hoping in Him.
I have said that God was very much at work in David's life in the midst of his depression. Now let me go on to say that God was very much at work through David in the midst of his depression. I cannot prove this conclusively, but I would imagine that a number of David's psalms were written from the “slough of despond.” Many of David's psalms are written in a time of despair. As David expresses his fears, his despair, his depression to God, he finds hope and help in remembering the God to whom he speaks. And in the process of writing these psalms, David has also ministered to many others from his despair. It is often from our times of mourning and sorrow that we begin to see life more clearly, to trust in God more completely. If this is the case, then suffering and sorrows and even depression may be our friend, and not our enemy. Anything which draws us more closely to God is our friend.
I am certain that as I speak and write these words I am speaking and writing to those who may be depressed. Some of you may not even know it, and you may be very reluctant to admit it. This may be because some, like myself, have called depression a sin, and you don't wish to be guilty of sinning in this way. But many of you are depressed and know that you are. Many of you are depressed and are ashamed to tell anyone else about it. Let me simply say to you that God worked in David's life, in spite of his depression. God also worked through David's life because of his depression.
Let me close with these words from our Lord Himself:
1 When Jesus saw the crowds, He went up on the mountain; and after He sat down, His disciples came to Him. 2 He opened His mouth and began to teach them, saying, 3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted” (Matthew 5:1-4).
28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. 29 “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. 30 “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).
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