The Rats, the Bats, & the UglyEric Flint and Dave Freer

EpilogueEndings in books are neat. Endings in real life tend to be more ragged and indeterminate. Nonetheless, this was an ending of sorts. Gradually, within a few days, a semblance of order had been reestablished in GBS City. Van Klomp found he had to impose most of it. Still . . . he had the voice for it.By the end of the week there was even power in several parts of the city. Dr. Wei had a Korozhet prisoner to study; though, first, he had to get the Super-Glue off. The remnant of the army high command that still had its mind was back in Military Headquarters, spending its time constructively trying to think up excuses for its former behavior—which the charitable were calling "utter incompetence" and a distressingly large number of people were calling "treason"—and thus not interfering with actual military affairs. Virginia and Chip had stopped making love long enough to be abused by Liepsich for causing such damage in the Korozhets' former ship, which the scientist seemed to regard as his personal new toy. And conspire . . . well, argue with the bats. A certain candy-striped vehicle had been resprayed and given the freedom of a grateful city. Within the week, every other motorist on the streets was deeply regretting that spontaneous gesture.And . . . * * *Ogata took himself out to see Conrad Fitzhugh, whom no one had gotten around to returning to court or pre-trial confinement yet. Fitz and Ariel were staying—at Virginia Shaw's insistence—at Shaw House. The place was something of a menagerie these days. The doors were being repaired and replaced and one wing was becoming a bank. Fortunately, the bats didn't mind flying in windows."And how is Ariel fitting into her new residence?" asked Ogata with a smile. "She's making a lot of changes. Fortunately, she disapproves of mauve lipstick. Any kind of lipstick, in fact. She finds walking without even a vestige of a tail awkward. She made a bonfire out of all of Gainor's high-heeled shoes. And she complains at least once an hour about her useless teeth. Or do you mean where we're living?""It seems a good answer to both questions," said Ogata. "You do realize that, despite the Korozhet having put Ariel's soft-cyber chip into Tana's mindwiped brain so that they could question her, as far as the Army is concerned you are now cohabiting—I assume lewdly, yes?—"Fitz grinned. The grin, on that scarred face, looked as serene and self-satisfied as a shark's. "She's still a rat, sir. In almost everything that matters, anyway. A rat's idea of slow seduction is waiting until she finishes her chocolates. And, as it happens, Ariel wasn't in a slow mood." He cleared his throat. "Neither was I."Ogata rolled his eyes. "Yes, well. What I thought. So you are now living in sin with the person who is supposed to be prosecuting you. This is, to put it mildly, a conflict of interest. As far as the army is concerned, Ariel is still Major Tana Gainor, and she's AWOL.""That's the least of your problems," said Fitz. "You're a lawyer, Colonel Ogata. Until it's changed—and even then it won't apply retroactively—the law on Harmony and Reason considers the woman's body that of Tana Moira Gainor. So long as the mind is sound, which this one sure as hell is, and never mind who it belongs to. Legally speaking, Mike Capra tells me, that last is a mystical and meaningless abstraction."Ogata looked a little taken aback. "That would surely depend on the definition of 'sound.' ""That might be true. But having acquired a perfectly usable but large and empty mind the person that is Ariel is expanding her Ratshipness into it all. She was a bright rat and Gainor was a smart woman. The combination has made Ariel intimidatingly intelligent. I pity anyone who tries to prove in court that there's anything 'unsound' about her mind. Trust me on this one.""But her personality . . . uh, that is . . ." Ogata, unusually, seemed to be groping for words.Fitz shrugged. "From what I can see, it's all Ariel. I admit, it's a bit hard to tell sometimes. Tana Gainor was a predatory person and, well, in a lot of ways that describes Ariel to a T. The rats are predators, technically speaking, since their personalities are based mainly on shrew genetic stock. On the other hand, Ariel's as loyal as they come, which God knows Gainor wasn't. She even told me she's willing—though I'd have to make it up to her with plenty of chocolates—to abandon sensible ratly promiscuity for this silly human 'faithful' business."Fitz's grin seemed fixed in place. "Have you any idea of just how rich Tana Gainor was, Colonel Ogata? Ariel was down at the bank finding out, the day after she 'woke up.' Trust a rat to check her loot first. Ill-gotten gains, most of it, I don't doubt for a minute. But there's no proof of that, and—legally, legally—it all now belongs to Ariel."Ogata's skin color made it difficult for him to turn pale. But he did a pretty fair imitation. "Oh, no," he groaned."Oh, yes," countered Fitz. "Have you any idea what the ex-2IC of the Ratafia is planning on doing with all that money? I did get her to swear that she'd wouldn't actually break any laws, although I'm sure she'll interpret that promise with a ratly twist. The bats might be altruistic with Virginia's fortune . . . but I promise my Ariel is not, with her own."* * *The taller of the two surviving conspirators sprinkled soil on the grave. "Now cracks a noble heart. Good night, sweet princess, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."He dusted off his hands. "I shall miss her. I surely will."The other conspirator, in a well-practiced gesture, hitched up his pants. "Now that she's not around to hear it . . . Well. So will I. A lot. She was the only one around who could really give me a good match, insult-wise."General Needford gave Liepsich a level stare. "There are times when you remind me of a five-year-old. I admit, you're precocious."The scientist smiled. "Not that you aren't so bad yourself. Courage, courage. We'll still need to work together, in the years ahead, even if our conspiracy is now over.""True. Now that Sanjay's dead, her children will need godparents for a while. But only that, henceforth. We will manipulate them no longer.""Don't think there's much need to, anyway."The general shrugged. "Even if there were, I'd insist we forego it. We conspired because we needed to. The need now gone, we must be careful that the habit does not develop its own dynamic. Let Sanjay Devi's final gift to us be her favorite saying: 'All life is an imitation of the Scottish play.' Beware the danger of ambition."Needford looked every inch the judge, now. Even Liepsich shied away."Hey, relax! The thought never crossed my mind. Besides . . ."Liepsich's laugh was almost a cackle. "Manipulating that lot, now that they're out of their cages—much less controlling them—is something only a madman would choose for a hobby."* * *The quartermaster was practically livid."It's all very well getting the cooperation of the miserable creatures. 'Winning their hearts and minds,' all that blather. But what kind of military requisition is a million pairs of rat-sized blue suede shoes?!" AcknowledgementsI'd like to express my thanks to several people who helped me greatly during the writing of this book. With trepidation, I wandered into the arena of military law. Major Rich Grove, of the Judge Advocate General's Corps, United States Air Force, provided me with much advice, help and an amazing level of tolerance for stupid questions. Any errors in this area are of course mine and not his. I blame the bad lawyer jokes on him entirely, though. Judith Lasker helped not only with the proofing, but also with the legal side. Gunnar Dahlin did possibly the most meticulous job of proof-reading I've encountered. As I am the world's most inventive speller I'm very grateful. Rog and Cheryl Daetwyler were also most helpful in that regard. Jim Crider gave some much needed help with auto matters. And, as always, my deepest thanks to my coauthor Eric and my wife Barbara. Between the two of them they steer the supercharged golf cart of my writing along.—Dave Freer