Charles Bukowski from The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses Over the Hills
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77 talking, TALKING,---Hansen, Truport, Missions, De Costro 78 Sevadov, and Starwort, all all 79 together 80 here in ONE room was 81 the heart of American POETRY 82 talking, my 83 god.
84 Friday, July 26th; Morning Session: 85 De Costro dominated the whole damned meeting. he has 86 big hands and many 87 IDEAS. Truport appears to be afraid
88 of De Costro. Hansen cools it. nobody gets along. 89 yet there is no 90 YELLING. these are only poets. 91 De Costro says the root of the thing is transferred to the tree 92 and the tree dies and 93 becomes HISTORY 94 and that
95 generally [Page 166] 96 history is pretty 97 disappointing, it's easier to chop down a 98 tree than a poem, he says, history chops 99 YOU
down. 100 FUCK ALL MEANING! Bob suddenly screams. 101 then, in softer voice: 102 we ought to discard. 103 we all agree that feeling is everything and 104 we go out for coffee 105 leaving three girls sitting 106 there with their dresses hiked-up around their 107
HIPS. 108 Monday, July 29th; Morning Session: 109 I saw all FIVE OF THEM!!! 110 around a desk 111 TOGETHER: 112 Hansen, Truport, 113 De Costro, 114 Starwort and 115 Phillip Maxwell. 116 Phillip didn't ARGUE didn't say much 117 and left before the meeting was OVER 118 but explained he'd wait 119 OUTSIDE for the free lunch. his books haven't been 120 GOING well. 121 Starwort read his Man on a Streetcar Running Backwards 122 from Bent Lily #8. 123 I couldn't really understand his 124 READING 125 but will have to see 126 the work in print before I make a 127 JUDGMENT. [Page 167] 128 Maybe Allie Denby 129 will send me a 130 copy of the issue, tho, alas, I understand it is 131 now a RARE ITEM 132 going to $20 out of Fort Lauderdale. 133 the past can only take place in the PRESENT, if you 134 know what I mean, said 135 De Costro. 136 we all 137 nodded. 138 Truport said he was afraid of being BROKE. he was 139 lined up for one more session at the 140 U. of K. 141 but hadn't heard much 142 more. of course, he'd been moving 143 around quite a bit, in TOUCH and 144 OUT OF TOUCH: 145 Paris, Cuba, the Congo, India, Moscow and Denver, Colorado. 146 we spoke of The Cantos. 147 Pound continually tries to find space 148 AREAS, ARENAS OF CONTOUR for his extra-cerebral 149 power-poetic 150 uningrained ... uncontrived soul-mind ... like a ... like a 151 whip lashing against the sides of an old 152 BARN. 153 we want a COMPLETE EMERGENCE, said De Costro. 154 nothing half nothing wilted 155 we want the poetic Christ-thing walking out of
156 the barn 157 and Teaching---not from the TOP-down 158 but through and through and 159 THROUGH. 160 god damn it to hell, said Starwort. suddenly. 161 in taking my notes I could not fit it into [Page 168] 162 the 163 conversation. 164 First Workshop session with R.H.: 165 he seemed to say a lot that I didn't understand but 166 the others seemed to understand 167 and the session went well. 168 Bob looked well. I had a 169 HANGOVER. 170 Wednesday, July 31st; Morning Session (most of us there): 171 there were again the old arguments about Vietnam, 172 Cleaver and the Panthers, all of which, I am afraid, I 173 no longer 174 understand. 175 I am AFRAID 176 I am getting tired 177 although the others appear very 178 energetic. 179 I need SECURITY, said Hansen. I need a perpetual FATHER 180 and a GOOD JOB or my work is 181 HINDERED. 182 Allen read some of his early stuff. I understand some of it 183 but FRANKLY, I think he tends to 184 holler and OVERSTAGE. 185 I left with a 186 HEADACHE. 187 Friday, August 2nd; Morning Session: 188 Allen spoke of some of the poetry he had seen in 189 the campus shithouses and said it was pretty 190
GOOD. 191 then Wm. Burroughs was discussed [Page 169] 192 his USE of timely and pertinent 193 news material that RELATED ... 194 by clipping out words in the paper 195 and pasting them in DIFFERENT ORDER 196 A NEW ORDER 197 was established 198 and a neutralization of time and event 199 WAS 200 established. 201 THIS WAs imporTANT. YeS. I'll sAY sO. 202 we all admitted we often read Time and 203 Pravda. 204 then Allen read 205 AGAIN 206 this time from UnpubliSHED 207 WoRk
208 dIrEcTly FrOM the JOuRnals 209 there were 250 people attending 210 and he read LOUDLY and I had another 211 HANGOVER. 212 he screamed for FORTYFIVE MINUTES! then became 213 TERRIBLY 214 exhausted, you couldn't hear him, his voice BECAME 215 a monotonous drone and he asked the audience: 216 may I stop now? 217 they applauded LOUDLY. 218 Sunday, August 4th: 219 the janitor had locked all the doors on the campus so 220 we met at Hansen's room and drank port wine. Denise and 221 Carol came up but they were SAFE 222 although everyone appeared a little sullen. 223 I think it was being LOCKED OUT like that. 224 later in the night Allen grew angry and slapped
226 good being there all together all of us. 227 I have tried to take notes and hope you have 228 APPRECIATED THEM. 229 next summer I am sure we will be 230 INVITED BACK 231 and I look forward 232 EAGERLY 233 to these great American poets
234 and their DISCUSSION of what makes POETRY GO, what it 235 iS! ! 236 AnD To haVE them rEaD thEiR OWN WORKS OnCe 237 AgAin. ---Howard Peter, University of L. August 5, 1969
[Page 171] Bukowski, Charles:one for Ging, with klux top [from The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses Over the Hills (1969), Black Sparrow Press] 1 I live among rats and roaches 2 but there is this high-rise apt., a new one 3 across from me, glimmering pool, lived in by very young 4 people with new cars, mostly red or white cars, 5 and I allow myself to look upon this scene as 6 some type of miracle world 7 not because it is possibly so 8 but because it is easier to think this way, 9 ---why take more knives?--- 10 so today I sat here and I saw one young man 11 sitting in his red car 12 sucking his thumb and waiting 13 as another young man, obviously his friend, 14 talked to a young woman dressed in kind of long slim short 15 pants, yes, and a black ill-fitting blouse, 16 and she had on some kind of high-pointed hat, rather 17 like the kukluxklan wear, and the other young man sucked, 18 sat and 19 sucked his thumb 20 in the 21 red car and 22 behind them, through the glass door 23 the other young people sat and sat and sat and sat 24 around the blue pool, 25 and the young woman was angry 26 she was ugly anyhow and now she was very ugly 27 but she must have had something to interest the young man 28 and she said something violent and final 29 (I couldn't hear any of it) 30 and walked off west, away from the young man and the 31 building,
33 stunned 34 than angry, and then they both sat in the car for a while, 35 and then the other young man took his thumb out of his 36 mouth, and started the red car, and then they were 37 gone. 38 and through my window and through the glass door 39 I could see the other young people 40 sitting sitting sitting 41 around the blue pool. my miracle crowd, my future 42 leaders. 43 to make it round out, I decided that the night before 44 the young man (not the one with the thumb) had tried 45 to screw the ugly girl in the pointed hat while they were both 46 drunk, and that the ugly girl in the pointed hat 47 felt---for some reason---that this was a damned dirty trick. 48 she acted bit parts in little theatre---was said to have talent--- 49 had a fairly wealthy father, and her name was Gig or 50 Ging or 51 something odd like that---and that was mainly why the boys 52 wanted to 53 screw her: because her first name was Gig or Ging 54 or Aszpupu, 55 and the boys wanted to say, very much wanted to say: 56 "I balled with Ging last night." 57 all right, so having settled all that, 58 I put on some coffee and rolled myself something 59 calming. [Page 173] Bukowski, Charles:communists [from The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses Over the Hills (1969), Black Sparrow Press] 1 we ran the women in a straight line down to the river 2 clinging to the fear in their rice-stupid heads 3 clinging to their infants 4 mice-like sucklings breathing in the air at odds of 5 one thousand to one; 6 we shot the men as they kneeled in a circle, 7 and the death of the men held almost no death, 8 it was somehow like a movie film, 9 men of spider arms and legs and a hunk of cloth 10 to cover the sexual organ. 11 men hardly born could hardly be killed 12 and there they were down there now, finally dead, 13 the sun straining on their faces of weird 14 puzzlement. 15 some of the women could fire rifles. we left a small 16 detachment to decide upon 17 them. then we fired up the unburned huts and moved on 18 to the next village. [Page 174] Bukowski, Charles:family family [from The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses Over the Hills (1969), Black Sparrow Press] 1 I keep looking at the 2 kid
3 up 4 side
5 down, 6 and I am tickling 7 her sides 8 as her mother pins new 9 diapers 10 on,
11 and the kid doesn't look like 12 me
13 upsidedown--- [Figure: 2Kb] 14 so I get ready to 15 kill them both 16 but
17 relent: 18 I don't even 19 look like 20 myself--- 21 rightsideup, so. 22 shit on it! 23 I tickle again, say 24 crazy 25 words, and and and and 26 hope 27 all the while 28 that this 29 very unappetizing 30 world [Page 175] 31 does not blow up 32 in all our 33 laughing 34 faces. [Page 176] Bukowski, Charles:poem for the death of an American serviceman in Vietnam: [from The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses Over the Hills (1969), Black Sparrow Press] 1 shot through a hole in the 2 bellybutton 3 9 miles wide--- 4 out it came: 5 those Indian head pennies 6 those old dead whores 7 the sick sea walking like 8 pink
9 toast 10 past bottles of orange 11 children 12 dripping 13 drip 14 dry
15 barometer 16 lowering 17 while the guns elevated like 18 erections--- 19 tossed the apple salad back 20 into the 21 sky. 22 (he died then, stuffing balloons with 23 marbles as the prince 24 laughed.) [Page 177] Bukowski, Charles:guilt obsession behind a cloud of rockets: [from The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses Over the Hills (1969), Black Sparrow Press]
2 the age-old bile: 3 dummies stuffed with wax and 4 steel, 5 a deeper dark than any dark 6 we have ever 7 known--- 8 I do not speak of such obvious things as 9 skin--- 10 christ, it's a bad 11 fix, ghostly true, 12 I might even say 13 off the top of the bottle 14 that I suffer more than 15 most, haha, but 16 I've also found that 17 good men 18 neither talk about their virtues or 19 their possibilities, 20 ---strike deep here, 21 catch fish, headaches, sores, blisters, 22 traffic tickets, tooth decay, hatred from 23 lesbians, the surgeon's brown 24 finger--- 25 if death is so fearful 26 then life must be 27 good? 28 dandy then, babe, genuinely 29 traginew, and 30 I've found out why men 31 sign their names to their
33 not that they created them 34 but more 35 than the others did 36 not. [Page 179] Bukowski, Charles:even the sun was afraid [from The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses Over the Hills (1969), Black Sparrow Press] 1 they'd stuck him in the shoulder and 2 he came out 3 pissed--- 4 feeling all the space of ground 5 feeling the sunshine 6 and
7 looking for somebody. 8 it stood there. 9 it seemed that even the sun was afraid of the 10 bull. 11 the matador screamed something 12 shook and flagged the cape. 13 the bull came at him. 14 he gave him the cape. but the mat did not get very 15 close. 16 then the bull saw the padded 17 horse, the blindfolded horse, 18 and he trotted over 19 and began working his horns against the horse's 20 side and underside. 21 the pic 22 there on top of the horse 23 lanced him good 24 he stuck him deep and hard with the 25 pole 26 really muscling it in [Page 180] 27 screwing it in deep 28 right in the top part of the back there 29 up near the neck. 30 this makes the bull go more for the horse--- 31 he probably thinks the horse is doing it to him--- 32 and as he goes more for the horse 33 he gets drilled more and more 34 by the chickenshit 35 lance. 36 the bull left the horse 37 went for the cape 38 then came back to the horse. 39 then he got another drilling by the 40 pic. 41 he does not any longer quite look like the 42 bull who first ran into the ring. 43 but they haven't cut him down enough 44 they have something else for 45 him: the banderillas. 46 short sharp pieces that are jammed into the upper back 47 and neck, the placement of these does appear 48 dangerous. 49 no cape is used and these young Mexican boys 50 stupid and with dirty 51 behinds 52 they leap into the air and make the 53 placements as the bull runs 54 by.
55 we watched them make the 56 placements. [Page 181] 57 now the bull was properly ready for the matador to be 58 brave. 59 the neck and back muscles were severed, shredded in 60 many places. 61 the head came 62 down. 63 Harry took a drink. "these Mexican bulls aren't any 64 good. you oughta see the Spanish bulls. they got horns 65 like this": 66 he showed me how they had horns like that. with his 67 hands. then we both had a 68 drink. 69 the matador did not seem to get in very 70 close. the bull kept getting in those 71 tired and desperate lunges at the cape 72 getting more and more winded 73 more and more 74 useless. 75 each of the matador's movements had some meaning, some 76 name. the Mexicans knew it. the drunken Americans in the 77 shade with good jobs and subnormal wives 78 didn't know anything. they rooted for the 79 bull. 80 they didn't know that it took guts 81 to even do a bad job with the bull. 82 well, this bull was bad and the matador was bad 83 but the matador was worse than the 84 bull, and I guess that's about as bad as the act can 85 get. 86 except when the bull is so much less worse than the 87 matador and the mat gets gored and the Americans go 88 home happy and
90 trying to forget about the job in the 91 morning. 92 kill time came. the mat knew what to do. he knew the 93 spot. it was like running a hot poker into a 94 barrel of loose tin foil. 95 the bull 96 beaten and stabbed about the neck and back 97 winded totally by ripping at a vision of a 98 red cape that only 99 gave, gave, gave 100 folded over the horn forever--- 101 the bull was winded spiritually as 102 well. 103 and finally stood 104 disgusted and doomed 105 looking 106 LOOKING. 107 we had another 108 drink. we knew the plot, the hero, the whole 109 fucking thing. the sword went 110 in. 111 but it wasn't 112 over. 113 the bull stood there. 114 and with the sword cutting his vitals 115 they came up. 116 4 or 5 Mexicans with dirty 117 behinds. including the 118 mat. [Page 183] 119 and they turned 120 him. flicked their capes at 121 him. punched him on the 122 nose. 123 still he wouldn't 124 fall. 125 they were trying to push him into death 126 but he was hanging 127 in. 128 and every now and then 129 the head would remember 130 and give a lunge of 131 horn and 132 they would step back 133 remembering their own deaths. 134 then the mat came up 135 pulled the sword 136 out, stuck it home 137 again. 138 still no good. 139 the bull would not go 140 down. 141 we had another drink. 142 "you see," said Harry, "they keep turning him. that 143 sword is cutting him. every time they make him move, 144 the sword cuts again." 145 finally somebody took his foot and 146 kicked the bull over and the bull 147 fell down. [Page 184] 148 but still 149 it wasn't any 150 good. 151 the bull kept kicking his 152 legs, trying to get 153 up. he wouldn't 154 quit. 155 so then a little fat chap came 156 out. he was all dressed in white and wore a little 157 white butcher's cap. he seemed quite 158 angry. 159 he had a short blade and walked up 160 and very angry and quick 161 he chopped and chopped and chopped and 162 chopped. it appeared that he was chopping at the 163 bull's head, his 164 brain. 165 the bull couldn't get at the boy in the 166 butcher's cap. he had to 167 take it. finally one of the chops 168 took. 169 you could SEE the bull 170 die. the bull gave it 171 up. the crowd 172 cheered. 173 Harry took a 174 drink, that was the end of that 175 pint. and that 176 matador. [Page 185] 177 "what's the name of the next 178 bull?" I asked 179 Harry. 180 "I don't know. the light is 181 bad." 182 anyhow, the next bull came 183 out. 184 we had one more pint and the 185 drive back in. [Page 186] Bukowski, Charles:on a grant [from The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses Over the Hills (1969), Black Sparrow Press] 1 ... an ocean liner 2 the Captain smiles and farts and knows my 3 name
4 the sea is boiling and smells of 5 torn chunks and warm raw meat 6 and 7 half-daft sick spiders try to 8 wind their dead legs around each other 9 around everything 10 but they tangle off slide off drift off 11 losing legs against the prow 12 and wanting to scream and not being able to 13 scream 14 while 15 I am on the grant from a University 16 and 17 translating Rimbaud and Lorca and 18 Gьnter Grass over and over 19 again 20 then 21 after a conversation on Proust and 22 Patchen I rape a 23 rich beautiful girl in my cabin 24 and 25 afterwards she turns into a 26 dead peach tree which I 27 hang on the wall 28 then 29 I awaken in a small dirty bedroom and the 30 woman walks in:
31 "listen, I need a stroller. the kid is 32 getting too heavy to carry." 33 "o.k., o.k." 34 "but when? when?" 35 "not today. too god damned 36 tired." 37 "tomorrow?" 38 "tomorrow, sure." [Page 188] Bukowski, Charles:finish [from The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses Over the Hills (1969), Black Sparrow Press] 1 the hearse comes through the room filled with 2 the beheaded, the disappeared, the living 3 mad. 4 the flies are a glue of sticky paste 5 their wings will not 6 lift. 7 I watch an old woman beat her cat 8 with a broom. 9 the weather is unendurable 10 a dirty trick by 11 God. 12 the water has evaporated from the 13 toilet bowl 14 the telephone rings without 15 sound 16 the small limp arm petering against the 17 bell. 18 I see a boy on his 19 bicycle 20 the spokes collapse Yüklə 1,43 Mb. Dostları ilə paylaş:
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