Charles Bukowski from The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses Over the Hills



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77 talking, TALKING,---Hansen, Truport, Missions, De Costro

78 Sevadov, and Starwort, all all

79 together

80 here in ONE

room was

81 the heart of American POETRY

82 talking, my

83 god.

84 Friday, July 26th; Morning Session:

85 De Costro dominated the whole damned meeting. he has

86 big hands and many

87 IDEAS. Truport appears to be

afraid


88 of De Costro. Hansen cools it. nobody gets along.

89 yet there is no

90 YELLING. these are only poets.

91 De Costro says the root of the thing is transferred to the tree

92 and the tree dies and

93 becomes HISTORY

94 and

that


95

generally


[Page 166]
96 history is pretty

97 disappointing, it's easier to chop down a

98 tree than a poem, he says, history chops

99 YOU


down.

100 FUCK ALL MEANING! Bob suddenly screams.

101 then, in softer voice:

102 we ought to discard.

103 we all agree that feeling is everything and

104 we go out for coffee

105 leaving three girls

sitting

106 there with their dresses hiked-up around their

107


HIPS.

108 Monday, July 29th; Morning Session:

109 I saw all FIVE OF THEM!!!

110 around a desk

111

TOGETHER:



112

Hansen, Truport,

113 De

Costro,

114

Starwort and



115

Phillip Maxwell.

116 Phillip didn't ARGUE didn't say much

117 and left before the meeting was OVER

118 but

explained he'd wait

119 OUTSIDE for the free lunch. his books haven't been

120 GOING well.


121 Starwort read his Man on a Streetcar Running Backwards

122 from Bent Lily #8.

123 I couldn't really understand his

124 READING

125 but

will have to see

126 the work in print before I make a

127 JUDGMENT.


[Page 167]
128 Maybe

Allie Denby

129 will send me a

130 copy of the issue, tho, alas, I understand it

is

131 now a RARE ITEM



132 going to $20 out of Fort Lauderdale.

133 the past can only take place in the PRESENT, if you

134 know what I mean, said

135 De Costro.

136 we all

137 nodded.

138 Truport said he was afraid of being BROKE. he was

139 lined up for one more session at the

140 U. of K.

141 but hadn't heard much

142 more. of course, he'd been moving

143 around quite a bit, in TOUCH and

144 OUT OF TOUCH:

145 Paris, Cuba, the Congo, India, Moscow and Denver, Colorado.

146 we spoke of The Cantos.

147 Pound continually tries to find

space

148 AREAS, ARENAS OF CONTOUR for his extra-cerebral



149 power-poetic

150 uningrained ... uncontrived soul-mind ... like a ... like a

151 whip lashing against the sides of an old

152 BARN.

153 we want a COMPLETE EMERGENCE, said De Costro.

154 nothing half nothing wilted

155 we want the poetic Christ-thing walking out

of


156 the barn

157 and Teaching---not from the TOP-down

158 but through and through and

159 THROUGH.

160 god damn it to hell, said Starwort. suddenly.

161 in taking my notes I could not fit it into


[Page 168]
162 the

163 conversation.

164 First Workshop session with R.H.:

165 he seemed to say a lot that I didn't understand but

166 the others seemed to understand

167 and the session went well.

168 Bob looked well. I had a

169 HANGOVER.

170 Wednesday, July 31st; Morning Session (most of us there):

171 there were again the old arguments about Vietnam,

172 Cleaver and the Panthers, all of which, I am afraid, I

173 no longer

174 understand.

175 I am AFRAID

176 I am getting tired

177 although the others appear very

178 energetic.

179 I need SECURITY, said Hansen. I need a perpetual FATHER

180 and a GOOD JOB or my work is

181 HINDERED.

182 Allen read some of his early stuff. I understand some of it

183 but FRANKLY, I think he tends to

184 holler and

OVERSTAGE.

185 I left with a

186 HEADACHE.

187 Friday, August 2nd; Morning Session:

188 Allen spoke of some of the poetry he had seen in

189 the campus shithouses and said it was pretty

190


GOOD.

191 then Wm. Burroughs was discussed


[Page 169]
192 his USE of timely and pertinent

193 news material that RELATED ...

194 by clipping out words in

the paper

195 and pasting them in DIFFERENT ORDER

196 A NEW ORDER

197

was established



198 and a neutralization of time and event

199 WAS

200

established.



201 THIS WAs imporTANT. YeS. I'll sAY sO.

202 we all admitted we often read Time and

203 Pravda.

204 then Allen read

205 AGAIN

206 this time from UnpubliSHED

207

WoRk


208 dIrEcTly FrOM the JOuRnals

209 there were 250 people

attending

210 and he read LOUDLY and I had another

211

HANGOVER.



212 he screamed for FORTYFIVE MINUTES! then became

213 TERRIBLY

214 exhausted, you couldn't hear him, his voice BECAME

215 a monotonous drone and he asked the audience:

216 may I stop now?

217 they applauded LOUDLY.

218 Sunday, August 4th:

219 the janitor had locked all the doors on the campus so

220 we met at Hansen's room and drank port wine. Denise and

221 Carol came up but they were SAFE

222 although everyone appeared a little sullen.

223 I think it was being LOCKED OUT like that.

224 later in the night Allen grew angry and slapped
[Page 170]
225 Bob. then Allen read his poetry again. it was

226 good being there all together all of us.

227 I have tried to take notes and hope you have

228 APPRECIATED THEM.

229 next summer I am sure we will be

230 INVITED BACK

231 and I look forward

232 EAGERLY

233 to these great American

poets


234 and their DISCUSSION of what makes POETRY GO, what it

235 iS! !

236 AnD To haVE them rEaD thEiR OWN WORKS OnCe

237 AgAin.

---Howard Peter, University of L. August 5, 1969

[Page 171]

Bukowski, Charles:one for Ging, with klux top [from The Days Run Away Like Wild

Horses Over the Hills (1969), Black Sparrow Press]

1 I live among rats and roaches

2 but there is this high-rise apt., a new one

3 across from me, glimmering pool, lived in by very young

4 people with new cars, mostly red or white cars,

5 and I allow myself to look upon this scene as

6 some type of miracle world

7 not because it is possibly so

8 but because it is easier to think this way,

9 ---why take more knives?---

10 so today I sat here and I saw one young man

11 sitting in his red car

12 sucking his thumb and waiting

13 as another young man, obviously his friend,

14 talked to a young woman dressed in kind of long slim short

15 pants, yes, and a black ill-fitting blouse,

16 and she had on some kind of high-pointed hat, rather

17 like the kukluxklan wear, and the other young man sucked,

18 sat and

19 sucked his thumb

20 in the

21 red car and

22 behind them, through the glass door

23 the other young people sat and sat and sat and sat

24 around the blue pool,

25 and the young woman was angry

26 she was ugly anyhow and now she was very ugly

27 but she must have had something to interest the young man

28 and she said something violent and final

29 (I couldn't hear any of it)

30 and walked off west, away from the young man and the

31 building,
[Page 172]
32 and the young man was flushed in the face, seemingly more

33 stunned

34 than angry, and then they both sat in the car for a while,

35 and then the other young man took his thumb out of his

36 mouth, and started the red car, and then they were

37 gone.

38 and through my window and through the glass door

39 I could see the other young people

40 sitting sitting sitting

41 around the blue pool. my miracle crowd, my future

42 leaders.

43 to make it round out, I decided that the night before

44 the young man (not the one with the thumb) had tried

45 to screw the ugly girl in the pointed hat while they were both

46 drunk, and that the ugly girl in the pointed hat

47 felt---for some reason---that this was a damned dirty trick.

48 she acted bit parts in little theatre---was said to have talent---

49 had a fairly wealthy father, and her name was Gig or

50 Ging or

51 something odd like that---and that was mainly why the boys

52 wanted to

53 screw her: because her first name was Gig or Ging

54 or Aszpupu,

55 and the boys wanted to say, very much wanted to say:

56 "I balled with Ging last night."

57 all right, so having settled all that,

58 I put on some coffee and rolled myself something

59 calming.

[Page 173]

Bukowski, Charles:communists [from The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses Over the

Hills (1969), Black Sparrow Press]

1 we ran the women in a straight line down to the river

2 clinging to the fear in their rice-stupid heads

3 clinging to their infants

4 mice-like sucklings breathing in the air at odds of

5 one thousand to one;

6 we shot the men as they kneeled in a circle,

7 and the death of the men held almost no death,

8 it was somehow like a movie film,

9 men of spider arms and legs and a hunk of cloth

10 to cover the sexual organ.

11 men hardly born could hardly be killed

12 and there they were down there now, finally dead,

13 the sun straining on their faces of weird

14 puzzlement.

15 some of the women could fire rifles. we left a small

16 detachment to decide upon

17 them. then we fired up the unburned huts and moved on

18 to the next village.

[Page 174]

Bukowski, Charles:family family [from The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses Over

the Hills (1969), Black Sparrow Press]

1 I keep looking at the

2 kid


3 up

4 side


5 down,

6 and I am tickling

7 her sides

8 as her mother pins new

9 diapers

10 on,


11 and the kid doesn't look like

12 me


13 upsidedown--- [Figure: 2Kb]

14 so I get ready to

15 kill them both

16 but


17 relent:

18 I don't even

19 look like

20 myself---

21 rightsideup, so.

22 shit on it!

23 I tickle again, say

24 crazy

25 words, and and and and

26 hope

27 all the while

28 that this

29 very unappetizing

30 world


[Page 175]

31 does not blow up

32 in all our

33 laughing

34 faces.

[Page 176]

Bukowski, Charles:poem for the death of an American serviceman in Vietnam: [from

The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses Over the Hills (1969), Black Sparrow Press]

1 shot through a hole in the

2 bellybutton

3 9 miles wide---

4 out it came:

5 those Indian head pennies

6 those old dead whores

7 the sick sea walking like

8 pink


9 toast

10 past bottles of orange

11 children

12 dripping

13 drip

14 dry


15 barometer

16 lowering

17 while the guns elevated like

18 erections---

19 tossed the apple salad back

20 into the

21 sky.

22 (he died then, stuffing balloons with

23 marbles as the prince

24 laughed.)

[Page 177]

Bukowski, Charles:guilt obsession behind a cloud of rockets: [from The Days Run

Away Like Wild Horses Over the Hills (1969), Black Sparrow Press]
1 genuinely traginew, dandy then, babe,

2 the age-old bile:

3 dummies stuffed with wax and

4 steel,

5 a deeper dark than any dark

6 we have ever

7 known---

8 I do not speak of such obvious things as

9 skin---

10 christ, it's a bad

11 fix, ghostly true,

12 I might even say

13 off the top of the bottle

14 that I suffer more than

15 most, haha, but

16 I've also found that

17 good men

18 neither talk about their virtues or

19 their possibilities,

20 ---strike deep here,

21 catch fish, headaches, sores, blisters,

22 traffic tickets, tooth decay, hatred from

23 lesbians, the surgeon's brown

24 finger---

25 if death is so fearful

26 then life must be

27 good?

28 dandy then, babe, genuinely

29 traginew, and

30 I've found out why men

31 sign their names to their
[Page 178]
32 works---

33 not that they created them

34 but more

35 than the others did

36 not.

[Page 179]



Bukowski, Charles:even the sun was afraid [from The Days Run Away Like Wild

Horses Over the Hills (1969), Black Sparrow Press]

1 they'd stuck him in the shoulder and

2 he came out

3 pissed---

4 feeling all the space of ground

5 feeling the sunshine

6 and


7 looking for somebody.

8 it stood there.

9 it seemed that even the sun was afraid of the

10 bull.

11 the matador screamed something

12 shook and flagged the cape.

13 the bull came at him.

14 he gave him the cape. but the mat did not get very

15 close.

16 then the bull saw the padded

17 horse, the blindfolded horse,

18 and he trotted over

19 and began working his horns against the horse's

20 side and underside.

21 the pic

22 there on top of the horse

23 lanced him good

24 he stuck him deep and hard with the

25 pole

26 really muscling it in


[Page 180]
27 screwing it in deep

28 right in the top part of the back there

29 up near the neck.

30 this makes the bull go more for the horse---

31 he probably thinks the horse is doing it to him---

32 and as he goes more for the horse

33 he gets drilled more and more

34 by the chickenshit

35 lance.

36 the bull left the horse

37 went for the cape

38 then came back to the horse.

39 then he got another drilling by the

40 pic.

41 he does not any longer quite look like the

42 bull who first ran into the ring.

43 but they haven't cut him down enough

44 they have something else for

45 him: the banderillas.

46 short sharp pieces that are jammed into the upper back

47 and neck, the placement of these does appear

48 dangerous.

49 no cape is used and these young Mexican boys

50 stupid and with dirty

51 behinds

52 they leap into the air and make the

53 placements as the bull runs

54 by.


55 we watched them make the

56 placements.


[Page 181]

57 now the bull was properly ready for the matador to be

58 brave.

59 the neck and back muscles were severed, shredded in

60 many places.

61 the head came

62 down.

63 Harry took a drink. "these Mexican bulls aren't any

64 good. you oughta see the Spanish bulls. they got horns

65 like this":

66 he showed me how they had horns like that. with his

67 hands. then we both had a

68 drink.

69 the matador did not seem to get in very

70 close. the bull kept getting in those

71 tired and desperate lunges at the cape

72 getting more and more winded

73 more and more

74 useless.

75 each of the matador's movements had some meaning, some

76 name. the Mexicans knew it. the drunken Americans in the

77 shade with good jobs and subnormal wives

78 didn't know anything. they rooted for the

79 bull.

80 they didn't know that it took guts

81 to even do a bad job with the bull.

82 well, this bull was bad and the matador was bad

83 but the matador was worse than the

84 bull, and I guess that's about as bad as the act can

85 get.

86 except when the bull is so much less worse than the

87 matador and the mat gets gored and the Americans go

88 home happy and
[Page 182]
89 fuck all night

90 trying to forget about the job in the

91 morning.

92 kill time came. the mat knew what to do. he knew the

93 spot. it was like running a hot poker into a

94 barrel of loose tin foil.

95 the bull

96 beaten and stabbed about the neck and back

97 winded totally by ripping at a vision of a

98 red cape that only

99 gave, gave, gave

100 folded over the horn forever---

101 the bull was winded spiritually as

102 well.

103 and finally stood

104 disgusted and doomed

105 looking

106 LOOKING.

107 we had another

108 drink. we knew the plot, the hero, the whole

109 fucking thing. the sword went

110 in.

111 but it wasn't

112 over.

113 the bull stood there.

114 and with the sword cutting his vitals

115 they came up.

116 4 or 5 Mexicans with dirty

117 behinds. including the

118 mat.


[Page 183]

119 and they turned

120 him. flicked their capes at

121 him. punched him on the

122 nose.

123 still he wouldn't

124 fall.

125 they were trying to push him into death

126 but he was hanging

127 in.

128 and every now and then

129 the head would remember

130 and give a lunge of

131 horn and

132 they would step back

133 remembering their own deaths.

134 then the mat came up

135 pulled the sword

136 out, stuck it home

137 again.

138 still no good.

139 the bull would not go

140 down.

141 we had another drink.

142 "you see," said Harry, "they keep turning him. that

143 sword is cutting him. every time they make him move,

144 the sword cuts again."

145 finally somebody took his foot and

146 kicked the bull over and the bull

147 fell down.


[Page 184]

148 but still

149 it wasn't any

150 good.

151 the bull kept kicking his

152 legs, trying to get

153 up. he wouldn't

154 quit.

155 so then a little fat chap came

156 out. he was all dressed in white and wore a little

157 white butcher's cap. he seemed quite

158 angry.

159 he had a short blade and walked up

160 and very angry and quick

161 he chopped and chopped and chopped and

162 chopped. it appeared that he was chopping at the

163 bull's head, his

164 brain.

165 the bull couldn't get at the boy in the

166 butcher's cap. he had to

167 take it. finally one of the chops

168 took.

169 you could SEE the bull

170 die. the bull gave it

171 up. the crowd

172 cheered.

173 Harry took a

174 drink, that was the end of that

175 pint. and that

176 matador.


[Page 185]

177 "what's the name of the next

178 bull?" I asked

179 Harry.

180 "I don't know. the light is

181 bad."

182 anyhow, the next bull came

183 out.

184 we had one more pint and the

185 drive back in.

[Page 186]

Bukowski, Charles:on a grant [from The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses Over the

Hills (1969), Black Sparrow Press]

1 ... an ocean liner

2 the Captain smiles and farts and knows my

3 name


4 the sea is boiling and smells of

5 torn chunks and warm raw meat

6 and

7 half-daft sick spiders try to



8 wind their dead legs around each other

9 around everything

10 but they tangle off slide off drift off

11 losing legs against the prow

12 and wanting to scream and not being able to

13 scream

14 while

15 I am on the grant from a University

16 and

17 translating Rimbaud and Lorca and

18 Gьnter Grass over and over

19 again

20 then

21 after a conversation on Proust and

22 Patchen I rape a

23 rich beautiful girl in my cabin

24 and

25 afterwards she turns into a

26 dead peach tree which I

27 hang on the wall

28 then

29 I awaken in a small dirty bedroom and the

30 woman walks in:
[Page 187]

31 "listen, I need a stroller. the kid is

32 getting too heavy to carry."

33 "o.k., o.k."

34 "but when? when?"

35 "not today. too god damned

36 tired."

37 "tomorrow?"

38 "tomorrow, sure."

[Page 188]

Bukowski, Charles:finish [from The Days Run Away Like Wild Horses Over the Hills

(1969), Black Sparrow Press]


1 the hearse comes through the room filled with

2 the beheaded, the disappeared, the living

3 mad.

4 the flies are a glue of sticky paste

5 their wings will not

6 lift.

7 I watch an old woman beat her cat

8 with a broom.

9 the weather is unendurable

10 a dirty trick by

11 God.

12 the water has evaporated from the

13 toilet bowl

14 the telephone rings without

15 sound

16 the small limp arm petering against the

17 bell.

18 I see a boy on his

19 bicycle

20 the spokes collapse


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