Current Issues Bible Study

Teaching point three: We are to bear one another’s burdens.

Society dictates that we should be looking out for ourselves. In God’s economy we are instructed to look out for others. Read Matthew 11:27–30.

Jesus tells us to take his yoke upon us. He did not live his life independently, but with a group. Within that group, he had some he was even closer to. Jesus taught his disciples how to bear one another’s burdens.

The world tells us to be strong and independent, to be winners. There is a difference between being a strong person and being a person of strength. A strong person rests in his or her strength, whereas a person of strength realizes the true source of strength is God. Strong people have no trouble bearing the burdens of others, but they resist sharing their own burdens. When a person refuses to admit struggles, sometimes it is a matter of pride. And yet, Jesus himself did not hide the fact that he was struggling. Read Matthew 26:40.

Jesus asked for companionship at his greatest point of vulnerability. God wants us to be part of a community, not little islands. A good leader shows others how to roll their burdens onto the Lord. A leader who tries to bear the burdens of others in his or her own strength will burn out.

[Q] Share a time someone helped bear one of your burdens. How was that helpful?

[Q] What are other practical ways we can help others carry their burdens?

[Q] If a person is burned out, what must they do before they resume burden bearing?

[Q] Is there ever a wrong time to share Scripture with someone who is struggling? Explain.

Teaching point four: A good leader is a good follower of God.

Tony Evans said, “Leaders can’t take a community any higher morally or ethically than they’ve been themselves, just as a pastor can’t take a church higher spiritually than he’s gone himself.” So to successfully lead, a leader must be a good follower of God. If we encourage others, it will be because we ourselves have been encouraged. God is the only one who knows the hearts of people. The Holy Spirit guides and directs us as we walk with God.

Stacy sat uncomfortably, but was not certain why. The leader of her church group was personable enough, and yet there always seemed to be an undeniable distance. Stacy saw her leader as charismatic and a go-getter who accomplished huge tasks. She seemed in control, rarely asking for assistance; she was a one-woman team. Week after week the group sat under her leadership, drinking in her enthusiasm. Then one day the meeting was canceled with no reason given. A short time later, each team member was personally invited to a special meeting led by one of the pastors. A somber mood filled the air as each person quietly took his or her seat. What was going on? Where was their leader? Within moments the pastor explained that the group would not meet for a period of time. The leader had been asked to resign because of infidelity with another church leader. The group sat in silence.

Stacy’s leader had tried leading in her own strength, without help. She struggled in her personal life, keeping her struggles to herself. While she encouraged the group to share their prayer requests, she didn’t share her own. In time, the whole church suffered from the choices of two individuals.

This leader knew how to lead, but she didn’t know how to follow God. A struggling leader who seeks help displays maturity. God ministers to leaders, supplying their needs, and this will also benefit others.

[Q] When leaders choose to struggle silently, what do you think some of their fears are?

[Q] Do you think the church is set up to encourage leaders to share their struggles? If not, what changes do you think need to be made?

[Q] How might it be a warning sign when a leader cannot learn from others in his or her group?

[Q] Share an example of a godly leader from Scripture. What was his or her relationship with God like? How did their struggles further or hurt that relationship?

Part 3

Apply Your Findings

Even if only one person is following us, we are all leaders at one time or another. People willing to be vulnerable and transparent create an atmosphere that says, “It’s safe at the foot of the cross—everyone is accepted.”

To be effective leaders we need to be authentic, to acknowledge our weaknesses, to bear one another’s burdens, and to be good followers of God. No one sets out to be an ineffective leader. We are all fallible, and the enemy knows our weaknesses. The good news is, God stands by ready to answer our calls for help. He will supply all our needs, enabling us to do whatever he requires. Then, one day, we may hear the wonderful words, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”

Action Point: Based on the four teaching points, do a self-evaluation. What area is your strongest? What areas are your weakest? Can you think of two people you trust who could be your accountability partners? Prayerfully ask God to show you tangible ways to work on your weaker areas. Get together with at least one of your accountability partners and share your self-evaluation.

—Anne Peterson is a poet, speaker, and author of numerous Bible studies with ChristianBibleStudies.com.

Additional Resources

ChristianBibleStudies.com
-Soul Care for Women Leaders
-Six Principles for Women Leaders

Being Leaders: The Nature of Authentic Christian Leadership, Audrey Malphurs (Baker, 2003; ISBN 080191438)

David: Man of Prayer, Man of War, Walter J. Chantry (Banner of Truth, 2007; ISBN 0851519539)

Leading with a Limp: Taking Full Advantage of Your Most Powerful Weakness, Dan B. Allender, Ph.D. (Waterbrook Press, 2008; ISBN 1578569524)

The Leading Edge: 40 Keys to Help Sharpen Your Effectiveness as a Leader, Jack Hayford (Strang Communications, 2001; ISBN 0884197573)

The Servant: a Simple Story about the True Essence of Leadership, James C. Hunter (Random House Inc., 1998; ISBN 0761513698)

They Smell Like Sheep: Leading with the Heart of a Shepherd, Volume 2, Lynn Anderson (Howard Books, 2007; ISBN 1582296723)

Transparent: Getting Honest About Who We Are and Who We Want to Be, Sarah Zacharias Davis (Revell, 2007; ISBN 0800731719)
Article

The Gift of Being Real

How might things change if we admitted our family’s flaws?

By Caryn Rivadeneira, for the study, “Error: Reference source not found”

I should’ve trusted the worship leaders at my church more—but I didn’t. So when the video rolled and the cheesy, deep, deejayish voice announced, “And now, a Thanksgiving presentation…” I rolled my eyes. Oh, boy. Here we go, I thought. The opening scenes of a smiling, neatly sweatered man sitting in an upholstered chair with two fancily dressed toddlers on his lap and several preschoolers surrounding him did nothing to stop my continued disgust. And as the sweatered man began reminiscing about his perfect childhood Thanksgiving gatherings and started in about the joys of being surrounded by his children and nieces and nephews, I thought, This is like a Saturday Night Live skit! If this is how we present our Thanksgivings, no wonder they make fun of Christians!

But then the kids onscreen start getting mouthy and squirming impatiently, and the sweatered man rolled his eyes and yelled, “Cut!” Ha-ha! The reason it seemed like sketch comedy was because it was. I laughed along with the congregation as the man’s attempts to produce a perfect Thanksgiving memory got more and more pathetic. We laughed as his brothers teased him in the background. We laughed when the kids threw tantrums and misbehaved. We laughed when the whole thing ended in an on-camera family argument. We laughed because, as Homer Simpson says, “It’s funny because it’s true.”

What was so refreshing about this video is that it gave all of us that morning license to admit publicly—through our collective laughter—that holidays can be harsh, that they rarely live up to expectations, and that our families all are broken in some way. In short, it gave us a glimpse of reality—a glimpse that is more often than not overshadowed by our attempts to portray the perfect Christian families.

Sure, plenty of us are willing to throw around the funny stories of our crazy uncles or annoying siblings whom we see over the holidays, but how many of us are willing to admit or open up about some deep flaws and stinging wounds that lurk in our families? How many of us—especially Christian leaders—are willing to say that we feel hurt or lonely or lost? How many of us are willing to say our relationships with our husbands are rocky or our kids have stepped away from the faith and are acting in ways that tear at our hearts?

Yet what would happen if we did? I wonder if doing this wouldn’t be a great way for us to lead: Not so we can offer our families and our lives for others to laugh at. And not to bash or embarrass our families, but instead to help others who feel alone in their not-so-rosy lives and to help disassemble the life-comparison trap that snaps pretty tight around people.

I wonder if, in fact, becoming transparent in our troubles could be witness to Jesus’ powerful words: “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Maybe by giving the gift of the real, we’ll help others see just how Jesus—the ultimate Gift—can help overcome this world of troubles we all face at one time or another.

—Caryn Rivadeneira, former managing editor of Marriage Partnership, Christian Parenting Today, and Women’s and Family Resources at Christianity Today International, is a freelance editor and writer. She and her family live in the western suburbs of Chicago. Visit her blog: Mama's Got a Fake ID!

“The Gift of Being Real,” by Caryn Rivadeneira, GiftedforLeadership.com., November 7, 2007

Leader’s Guide

Balancing Act

Resolving the tension between ministry and family life




It’s no secret that women are under more pressure than ever before—and this is especially true for women who serve in ministry. Today, Christian women are expected to be gifted leaders, faithful and compassionate Christians, competent workers, supportive spouses, nurturing mothers, and efficient homemakers. With all of these various and important roles, it’s easy to see why many women struggle with how to balance the competing demands for their time and attention.

When Andrea Minor first embarked on a career in vocational ministry, she thought she had everything perfectly balanced. She had a flexible ministry schedule that allowed her to minister to the needs of her children, but eventually she realized that her relationship with her husband was suffering from her overcommitted schedule.

Lesson #3

Scripture:
Exodus 18:13–26; Mark 1:32–39; Acts 18:1–2, 18–26; 1 Timothy 3:1–5, 12

Based on:
“Marriage vs. Ministry?” by Andrea Minor, GiftedForLeadership.com

PART 1