How to arrive and

The 5 stages of culture shock

Adjusting to life in a different culture can take several months, even years. Have a look at the diagram earlier in this text to identify where you are in this process and keep it in mind as you immerse yourself in your new life. Over the course of time, the vast majority of people go through most or all of the following adjustment phases:

Phase 1 - The “honeymoon” phase. The first few weeks after you arrive in a new country, you are busy with moving in and getting settled. There is usually a feeling of euphoria at this time. This time can be described as the “honeymoon” phase of living abroad. Being in a new place is exotic and your adrenaline is rushing because the anticipation of moving has finally turned into the reality of making a home in a new place.
Phase 2 - The “emptiness phase.” At about two to four months into your move abroad, as cultural differences become obvious, irritability or feelings of anger may set in. Accomplishing the simplest activities takes longer and takes more effort. You may start to feel angry, lonely, frustrated, or less confident. Keep in mind that these feelings are reactions to your new environment and are normal. These feelings will pass.
Phase 3 – Readjustment. Usually a few months into your stay, a new readjustment phase begins. At this point, you are starting to better understand the culture and feel more comfortable with it. You are beginning to feel more at home in your new surroundings and to accept the norms and social codes around you. You begin to feel that you are regaining your balance.
Phase 4 – Setback. Just when you think that the worst is over and you’re starting to feel at home, some old negative emotions make a reappearance. They are borne out of the last, deep-rooted vestiges of your former way of doing things now being challenged. These are some of your core values and attitudes that until now have gone untouched. By this time you’re so engrossed in your new life that the distractions of daily life get you through this new ‘down phase’ without much to-do.
Phase 5 - Adaptation. Finally, in the last phase, often called adaptation, you start to enjoy the local customs and your new life. You begin to feel confident that you can operate in two cultures. After learning and living with the new culture’s customs, habits, and practices, you start to conform with and better understand the country’s ideals and values. At this point, you regain a strong sense of who you are. You’re better able to help your family adapt as well.

Special challenges

Some special situations can make the adjustment to a new culture more difficult. Some examples of this are:

- Being a minority in a new culture. As a female or obvious foreigner, you might be ignored in a store if standing next to a local. Especially for women in a male- dominated culture, equality may not be something you can take for granted. For example, you may not be able to have your own checking account. Recognize that these may be deep-rooted cultural differences that you cannot change.
- Language barriers. Learning a new language may not come naturally to you and it may even be very difficult. But your attempts to learn and display what you know will be appreciated by your neighbours, colleagues and acquaintances. A language teacher could become a good friend and a source of information about the culture.
- A spouse or partner who is not working. If you are a “trailing” or non-working spouse or partner, there may be restrictions about your holding a paying job abroad. If you are not working outside the home, plan to create a structure to your day. For example, consider using your talents to start a needed service in the community. Figure out ways that you can feel productive and be a part of your local community. Get together with other adults with similar interests in structured settings, such as in an exercise class, a community group, volunteer group, or some other organization where you’ll meet people.
- Recognize that you and your partner or spouse may be facing different challenges. The working spouse often has a built-in support system at work and a built-in social network and adjusts more quickly to the new culture. The non-working spouse has to learn how to navigate the new culture without these same supports. He or she must learn how to shop, get around, deal with children, handle school issues and family challenges without a lot of support. This can be stressful on a couple’s relationship.
- Health or other special problems. Expect the medical system to be different. If you or a family member has a health problem, a physical disability, or if your child has special learning issues, adjusting to life in a foreign culture may be especially challenging. Compare notes with expatriates who have been through this and who are familiar with the medical and social services available. Online parent networks for expatriates can be a great source of support as well.

Ideas to help you get over Culture Shock

When you are living in a foreign country and coping with culture shock, it is easy to feel disoriented and forget all the good reasons why you came. However, there are benefits to be gained by enduring the hardships caused by culture shock.

The primary benefit is that of being personally enriched by experiencing a new culture. When you are able to see the world through a new perspective, your understanding of the world around you will be enhanced. You will be least affected by culture shock if you learn to recognize what makes up culture shock, understand why it is happening to you, and try to overcome it.
You may find the following suggestions helpful:

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  Research the country where you are living. Become familiar with its customs and language. Identify the location of the schools and shops near where you will live.
  

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  Learn the basic names and phrases on signs, and for foods and services. Learn the money system.
  

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  Find another person from your old country who has been here for some time and has adjusted with a positive attitude. Talk to them about your difficulties – they may have some valuable insights for you. Even if you are not comfortable force yourself to identify good things about the local culture. Just having someone else who understands what you’re feeling will make this temporary burden easier to bear. This will help you be more positive.
  

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  Ask questions of people around you. Strike up conversations whenever you can.
  

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  Seek out tips and advice from other people who have successfully made the adjustment.
  

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  Talk to people who have a basically positive attitude toward your new host country. Don’t be too surprised if friends and family from ‘back home’ have negative things to say about your new country – this is usually just because they miss you.
  

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  Build a community around you. Learn about local expatriate organizations. Many organizations can link you to other people. Enrol in a class, join a choir or orchestra, card club, or other social group. Volunteering is always a good way to become involved and meet people.
  

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  Find ways to use your skills and talents. For example, you might start a support group for newly arriving families from abroad.
  

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  Stay in touch with family and friends back home. E-mail and instant messaging makes this easy. If you don’t have access to a computer, plan to write short letters or postcards to friends and family. It is wonderful to get mail back and usually a morale booster. Should you have children, encourage them to write to people back home. Encourage people to come visit when the time is right after you feel settled.
  

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  Balance socializing with compatriots with getting to know the local people. Make an effort to spend time with the local people; this will help you integrate faster. Avoid spending all your time with people from your old country. Spend time with expatriates who have positive views about the culture. Be wary of those speaking from stereotypes.
  

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  Stay positive. Remember that your anxiety is temporary. Get involved in activities with new people. Try new experiences. Simple distractions not only buy your time, but also provide a release mechanism for pent-up frustration.
  

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  Share problems and concerns with friends. Always try to problem solve rather than give up. It is especially important to model this type of behaviour for your children.
  

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  Make your relationship a priority if you are part of a couple. Actively provide comfort and show concern for each other. Explore the host country together. Figure out how you can work together during the adjustment period.
  

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  Set reasonable goals. Set realistic daily, weekly, or monthly goals and make some of them fun. Write them down, and ask a friend to help you achieve your goals. For example, your goal might be to learn a few words of the local language every day or week, meet one of your neighbours, visit local points of interest, or try a new food or dish. Food and eating are great ways to learn about the culture and to get to know new people. Invite some new people over to share a meal. Look in the local newspaper for information about entertainment and local attractions.
  

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  Participate in local activities. Get involved in the school your child is attending.
  

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  Give yourself time. You spend many years learning about your old home country. Do not expect to learn everything about your new country in a few days or weeks. Eventually almost everyone makes the adjustment. You will too, but how long it takes varies from person to person.
  

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  Take “Holidays” from the new local Life. It can be refreshing to read books, listen to music and talk to people from ‘home’. This will give you a sense of perspective of how your new life is evolving once you compare it to your old way of life. But do not spend all your free time avoiding local life. The more you learn about life in your new country, the more comfortable and confident you will feel. This will free you to achieve the things you’re hoping for.
  

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  Explore and indulge yourself in the local culture. Make friends with local people at work, near your home and elsewhere, and ask to meet their friends and families. Try different foods, visit nearby landmarks, learn new recreational activities and participate in holiday customs.
  

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  Your new friends should enjoy comparing local customs and culture with those of your old home country. If you make the effort to study local customs, expressions, actions, and gestures and then note the differences, you will be able to discuss and understand how and why you are different. Discussing these differences with local nationals will help you learn their values. This does NOT mean you have to adopt these as your own, but you can be selective as to what you take on board.