A single year
Yüklə 1,1 Mb.
|
March 27, 1988 Dear God, I should know by now that you look after all your children all the time. Thank you for solving this thorny problem for me« I am very glad to have it resolved. I need to say thank you for the special nice week and weekend, It was so good. I am afraid now of the tumble that seems to always follow such a high. I trust in you and maybe things have begun to change for the better for me. Maybe I have tried so hard that you just took pity on me. Thank you for doing that. Give me the strength I need to continue along the way you want me to go. John
March 28, 1988 Time seems standing still yet it goes so quickly. Nothing is happening yet the result will soon be in. Wait, wait be patient and wait while others decide. You have done all you can so now wait for your fate. This is holy week and no one is concerned with me. That is as it should be this week as we remember the life, death, and new life of Jesus our redeemer. Concentrate on Jesus and worry about my future. This is not how it should be or how I wish it to be. I willingly remember the Lord who loved me enough to die for me. At the same time I am aware of needing an answer. This is the time that answer will be soon forthcoming. What will that answer be, how can I be patient and wait? Perhaps the answer is just I do not have any choice. Perhaps the choice I have is to set myself aside and remember just what I am remembering this week. You see I do know what this week is all about, so I have no excuse except my self centeredness. If I can center myself oh what my Lord did for me, then no matter the answer I will be just fine! March 29, 1988 What is holy week all about? Why do we celebrate someone's death? Why is it so important that someone rose from the dead, these ape the questions I choose to answer this night? Holy week is a time we have set aside to remember. During this time we remind ourselves of our humanity. We remind ourselves of our failings and our triumphs. Holy week is all about human failings and triumphs. Holy week is the time we remember what a man did for each of us. We remember that this man did not have to do this thing. We remember this man chose to do what he did. We remember this man made this choice because he loved us. Holy week is the time we remember that this man was God. Holy week is the week we told our God we loved him. It is the week we then turned aside in embarrassment from him. Holy week is the week we killed our God. Why do we remember killing our God in such detail? Would this remembering prevent us from doing it again? Is this why we remember so we will not do it again? I think we remember in order to remind us who we are. I think we should remember our part in this week. We should remember how first we pledged our unending love, then for fear of our life we did not want to know him. We went along with it even begged for, our Gods death. Man is frail and weak and our backbone is made of rubber. When things are good everything is wonderful. When things turn sour, we hide in fear of being found. Had our God not risen from our death, we'd always be this way. The end of holy week brings man to his real rebirth by overcoming death. Our God gave hope and strength to mankind. His rising from the dead says clearly we can overcome. No matter how dark the night, the light of day will come. There is always light after dark. Sometimes it doesn't seem so. When Jesus rose from the dead, he gave hope to his people. From the darkest possible night of death came the brightest light. Jesus is the light that came from this so very dark night. Hope based on reality, the impossible become possible. Man pledging total support, pledging unending love. Man for love of self turning away from this pledge. Man for fear of life killing that which had created man.
Yet in this blackest of nights came the brightest of lights. Man not only forgiven but man seeing and believing. This light dwelled upon man and man forever becomes more than man had ever been. From this week man could gain an understanding of who and why man was first created. How unending God the Creator's love for man is. How fickle man's love can be.
It is the time God physically gave us himself in the Eucharist. It is the time God showed us just how human he, Jesus, was. It is the most sacred of times for me and I hope for you. March 30, 1988 Search Committee St. Nicholas Church 707 St. Nicholas Drive North Pole, AK 99705 Dear Search Committee, My wife and I would like to apply for the youth ministry religious education position you advertised in the NCR. Linda (my wife) and I have beers married for twenty three years. We were married at Tinker Air Force Base chapel near Oklahoma City on June 5, 1965. I am 43 and Linda is 40. God has blessed us with 3 beautiful daughters. Our oldest, Gigi -21, graduated from Kansas Newman College at the age of 20 with a degree in biology. Instead of attending graduate school or medical school, Gigi is continuing her education by teaching science at St. Bonaventure Indian Reservations as a home missionary this year. Nikki, is our middle daughter lives in mid-state New York where she is pursuing a degree in computer science. Jamie Elizabeth is our 10 year old and course lives with us. She has been a most willing participant in our journey of service. Linda and I come from military families. As we were growing up we lived all over the US. Linda lived in England where her mother was born and I lived in Japan. The closest either of us have ever come to Alaska was when on the journey to Japan with my parents in 1957, our boat made a very brief stop at Adak. For the first five years of our marriage, I worked as an accountant, controller. The next 15 years Linda and I owned and operated a retail business. During this time we both became very active in our church community. We both served as Rel. Ed. Teachers, youth ministers, Eucharistic ministers, parish council members, choir members, and many other ministries. We sought out classes on religious education, marriage and family counseling, and yes, fund raising. I served as the major fund raising chairman of Mount St. Mary's high school for 2 years and was a major participant in many more. Three years ago, with the encouragement of our pastor, Linda and I set out to work full time for our God and the Catholic Church. We are still in the growing process. We very much would like to find a place in the far west or Alaska. So far this does not seem to be what God has in mind for us. That is fine but we at least would like to leave the door open. We began our journey as VESS volunteers in far south Texas. We were paid $110 per month each plus a very modest amount for food and a small house was provided. I served as the pastoral minister and Linda as the DRE. We were responsible for most everything. The thing we did best was to leave in one year of service 8 basic certified RE Teachers. It was both a wonderful year and a most difficult learning process. Our second assignment was as Co-Directors of Rel. Ed. At a mid-state New York inner city Parish. Our very openness to youths of all races became a problem for us in that our pastor, a beautiful man, preferred only a program designed to include white RE students. The best thing we did there was to give our teachers sound training and to care for youths that had no one else to care for them. After these 2 years, Linda and l decided to take a full year to pray for discernment. We sought out a pastoral counselor for ourselves and put ourselves under his guidance. We are hopeful that God is going to open a place for us to minister this year. Linda and l would like to find a place where the talents we have might be best used. The most important thing to us is that wherever God takes us, that, our visions of a loving, caring, gentle but involved Christ will fit the needs of both the Parish and the Pastor. We work as a team. We feel our marriage is a strong witness to our faith. We have worked very closely with Hispanics, with inner city Black and White people, and we have known affluence. We love people. It is true we have worked in places other "professionals" probably would not have. While the work we did is, we hope, very professional, we do not consider ourselves professional. We are trying very hard to be servants. From a salary standpoint, we need a home, food, hospitalization, school for our daughter, and then whatever else that could be offered. Probably traveling to visit with you would be financially impossible for us. We are aware you will receive many more applications from many more paper qualified people. We offer ourselves. We would come in love. If there is any possibility we could meet any of your needs, we would love to hear from you. In Christ Jesus, We are, John and Linda Flakes 140 Minna Lane #208 Merritt Island Florida 32953 305-453-8584
I hope he heard my love for him and my daughter, I hope this man knew how special how he became to me through the consideration he showed in asking me my daughter's hand.
You O Lord, as your servant, I beseech, dwell with them forever. It is your presence that they will have to cling to when indeed they have nothing else to hold on to. It is you that I lift them up and give them new life. They will need constant new life every day of their life. Please Lord let them prepare for life as one forever. Let them prepare through getting to know you personally. Once they are joined together sustain their every breath. Let them know that it is only in joining with you that together the three of you becoming one. There is the most perfect and sustaining of love to be found. Please let the Eucharist be central to their life. Please let them always know that in loving each other and you, they have no choice but to love their neighbor. Let your love for them reach out of their love for each other. Let this reaching out be their understanding of Eucharist in their life for then they will be truly happy forever. April 1, 1988 As a Christian, as a Catholic, I believe that bread and wine become the body and blood of Jesus Christ, my God. This action is not a random or haphazard action, it occurs only under certain circumstances and always under those circumstances. This action takes place only when a duly ordained priest and the people of God gather in equal prayer to our God. The Eucharist is an action. There is the action of the people of God gathering in prayer with a priest or God, there is the action of the Lord God physically coming to dwell in the bread and wine. There is the action of the bread and wine becoming Christ's body and blood. The act on continues through the Eucharist being offered to the gathered community. The action of the community actually receiving the Eucharist. The most important action sometimes does not happen. You see, the actions I have just described to you are assured. They happen no matter the belief of the individual. Bread becoming body and blood of Christ is assured whenever a believing community gathers with a priest at the celebration of the Eucharist. The action that sometimes does not happen is the action of you and I extending the Eucharist. Yes, we believe and we receive. Then what? If the action of the Eucharist is a continuing one; if the action of the Eucharist does not stop when you and I receive the Eucharist, then how does the action continue? The action will only continue if you and I extend the love of Christ to all those that not only we come in contact with, but all mankind. The Eucharist is action. It is the act of a loving Lord Creator God coming in the most personal of means to dwell within his creation. It is the act of you and I through the Eucharist extending this unlimited and unlimiting love to our neighbor. This is indeed the Eucharist I know and love and serve. April 2, 1988 Today is Holy Saturday. It is the day that Jesus spent dead. It is the day that nothing good is supposed to happen yet today has been a good day. I feel an anticipation of joyous and wondrous happenings as we prepare to and celebrate the greatest triumph of all time. Life over death. Good over evil. Love over hate. Tonight we celebrate the risen Jesus. Tonight we celebrate hope. We celebrate the triumph of man over the world. The risen Savior Jesus speaks loudly that God can do anything. Jesus the man who is God was killed and spent this day in death. Jesus the man who is God will rise once more from death to life this night. Life over death. Life beyond death. Sudden and complete triumph over total darkness. We celebrate humanity this night. We rejoice in the proof that all miserable and unending pain can be overcome. There is hope beyond despair. This is the night when the impossible became possible. Jesus who was dead became alive and well. It is a celebration day. April 3, 1988 Easter Sunday - 1988 Linda and I were privileged to take Holy Communion to a man recovering from a stroke today. Linda, Jamie, Tim, Gigi, and I went over to my mother and fathers' today for dinner. My sister Betty Joe was there, it was very nice. While we were there my sister Margaret called. We called Linda's mom and dad earlier from our house before going to my parents. Linda, Jamie, Tim, Gigi, and I rode out to the Space Center today. It was free and we enjoyed ourselves. Tim and Gigi are taking Linda, Jamie and me to Disneyworld tomorrow. Jamie said, "I'm really looking forward to going to Disneyworld tomorrow." My heart wants tomorrow to be the most perfect day for her. She is so generous and has been through so much. Please Lord let it be! Nikki called tonight. It was so good to hear her. She sounded fine. I worry so about her. I tried to let her know she could come home anytime she wished. I wanted to hear her say she was on her way. Sometimes want too much! Tim hid Easter eggs for Jamie tonight. Jamie then hid eggs for Tim. Gigi clobbered me at scrabble- she is so bright. Tim, Gigi, Linda and I played cards. Jamie took a bath, and then, went to bed early in preparation for tomorrow. Lord god whatever it takes, please look down and see. Understand and take care of this beautiful little girl's special dream of a wonderful day. Please, please God let Jamie and a most special and wonderful day. Today was a fitting day to celebrate life over death. Today my family celebrated life. The thing is we must learn to celebrate Easter every day of our life not just on Easter Sunday. In your rising from the dead, o lord, you gave us a substance, not a dream, to believe in. You really did overcome death and live after being dead. Because of that, I know all things are possible. I love you Lord. I trust in you. I thank you for hearing and helping me. Happy Easter! April 4, 1988 Tim and Gigi took Linda, Jamie and me to Disneyworld today. We got there at around 9:30 am after getting up and leaving home at about 6:45. We returned home at 1:55 am. It is about 2:05 now. It was a day to be remembered. Everything went well. Jamie had the most special of days, so did all of us. Several times this day I was very clear in my prayer to my God. I owe you for this day. I know I owe my God for every day but this day was special and I thank you God for it. I praise your name and thank you for the marvelous day you gave us. When we got home this morning, a neighbor was upset over Gigi's dog barking while we were gone. Big deal. What a super day! Thank you and praise you O Lord God Almighty. April 5, 1988 Today I tried to stumble. It was unusually hard for me but still I tried very hard and I did succeed. I'm not comfortable when things go well. I do not know how to handle nice things, pleasant things, things I so much want and need. Those, things when they do happen to me as they have been happening for the last few weeks; well I just can't handle it. I have gotten so use to being wrong even when I tried so hard to be right that when things go right I simply expect bad to happen. I know better now! I know my God loves me so very much and I know he has seen my faith and my struggle to be better and he is here and he is helping me and he will not look on me in disgust and walk away from me. I found I have made some errors in figuring depreciation for some of my tax clients. I truly thought I was doing it right. I had studied the new laws so much and I really do better than most preparers this year. Well that doesn't excuse the fact now I know I have made some mistakes too. I can't go back and refigure because I don't know where these mistakes are. I will not make the same mistake twice. Gigi and Tim left today. It was an incredible nice week. Their leaving coupled with my new knowledge and the worry over money and a job and being very tired from the late hours we kept while they were here, left me very depressed this day. Just being this aware of all of this tells me God is close at hand. He knows of my human failings and will not desert me. Dear God please help me and show me what to do. Please! I love you and I am sorry for my faults. I will be better. Wisdom come and dwell within me and my family and lift me up. Risen Jesus I adore you. I understand a little of the effort it must have taken for you to get up from being dead. You did it and I am not dead. I am alive and you are alive and I will stand up. I just need your strength. Let us rest tonight so we can go on and travel your road safely. April 6, 1988 I prepared two tax returns this day. You can imagine yes, I went overboard in being honest and mot making a mistake. I still gave advice. Linda and I were called by the Devine Mercy Director of Religious Education Search Committee this afternoon. They are going to interview us tomorrow at 4:30 for the job. To say we are nervous would be the understatement of the year. Any job is acceptable but we so hope God will take us elsewhere. Please do not misunderstand any job would literally be a Godsend. We would be so grateful for any job. The search committee for the Parish Administrator job in Minnesota I applied for is deciding who to interview right now. Please God put in a good word for me - if this is where you want me to be. Do not want to go somewhere you do not want me to be, Lord God. I just know you are watching me and guiding me and the right place will be opened for me. I feel guilty for wanting to go somewhere, anywhere. I know I should just want to go where you want me to be, and I do. I really do. At the same time I am attracted more to some places than others. If you decide I am to go to my most undesirable place, no problem. Where you want me to O Lord, I go. I am your servant. In my heart I am lobbying you for two special places though and, know you know which two. Whatever you decide, I will accept willingly. I love you and as you know, I am trying to live up to the wisdom you have recently imparted me with. I ask in prayer that Linda and I not do or say anything you do not want us to do or say at the interview tomorrow. Please do not let us embarrass you or us tomorrow. We love you and we accept your loving presence in our life. April 7, 1988 Linda and I were interviewed for the position of Director of Religious Education at Devine Mercy Catholic Church this afternoon. Father McCathy, the pastor, Pat Englehart the DRE that is leaving and a nice man named George did the interviewing. Our prayer before the interview was that we: would not say or do or imply anything that would be untrue or embarrass us or our God. We did not lie. We were more truthful than we have ever been with anyone ever when we applied for a job. We tried our very best to be honest, open and direct. I wish we had done it better but I think we did ok. The more we do it, that is, the more we are open and honest and make the attempt not to embellish or lie, the better we will get at telling the truth. Lord God do not let us fail you. We want so much to be pleasing to you. We want to serve you and we even want to serve you wherever you want us to be. If Devine Mercy is not the place, Lord God, please find us the right place and soon. They, Devine Mercy, is going to let us know one or before this Sunday. Either way we will have to make a decision. Please help us make that decision. April 8, 1988 I did not do so well this day. That does not mean I did not try; it just means I did not do as well as I would have liked. I can be more truthful and I will be. I can be more better in every way and I will be, Answers seem to be what I am looking for and not getting. I know those answers are there for me and they will be provided. Perhaps I just expect too much of myself. I can not expect too much of God for there is no such thing as too much for God. Since God dwells within me, I can expect more from me and do. I am sorry for my failings and will do better. Please God stay with me and hear and answer me. Tim called, he misses Gigi and is worried about us. He is a fine young man. I love you God. I thank you and I praise you. Above all else I accept your love for me! April 9, 1988 What do I do if I do not be who I am? What am I if I am not who I must be? What will I be if I am not what I am? What is it possible for me to do or be - if all I do and all I am is concerned only with me. I am nothing if I am not who I am. I am even less if I do nothing at all. I do not exist if what I do is solely for me. I am not if I is all that matters in my being. You see without you there is no I am nor can there be.
This gift man most always tries to hide and deny, This gift is known to all and free to all and costs each the same.
What is it that is within each creation yet reaches out? What is it that must be shared and yet hurts to share? What is it that only completes itself in man when shared? It is the greatest of all gifts that dwells within each one.
This love is limitless and unlimiting and forever. This love is complete and full and always reaching. Love is never easy to understand yet essential to life. Love is man's Creator dwelling as God within man. Yüklə 1,1 Mb. Dostları ilə paylaş:
|