Ephesians

The Meaning of Honor

In Ephesians 6:2-3, the apostle Paul presses deeper into this subject. He goes behind the actions to the attitudes. He says it is not only important to obey, but to obey in such a way as to honor your father and your mother. The attitude of obedience is exceedingly important. We know, of course, that it is possible to obey with a disobedient heart. The actions are outwardly correct, but the heart is wrong.

This attitude is exemplified by the story of the little boy whose mother wanted him to sit down but he wouldn’t sit down. Finally she took hold of him and sat him down in the chair. He looked up at her with defiant eyes and said, “You may make me sit down outside, but I’m still standing up inside!” That kind of obedience dishonors the parent by treating the parent as a thing, an obstacle, not as a human being who gives love, nurture, and care to that child.

The first commandment with a promise, as the apostle reminds us, is, “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12). This means that glad obedience, with an attitude of honor and respect, creates the conditions that tend to produce a long, healthy, happy life. Obedient children live constructively and productively, and are less likely to fall prey to self-destructive temptations—alcoholism, drug abuse, juvenile crime, laziness, and other forms of foolishness and rebellion.

Learning to obey and honor parents is necessary preparation for learning to obey and respect authority later in life. Adults are as much under authority as children. Everyone is accountable to some authority. The sooner a child learns this lesson, the better his life will be.