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334 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Tue Mar 14, 2000 6:20am Subject: Re: Results of Redirecting Ellie -- I've done a lot more redirecting to recent problem people, and it has made a significant difference. At work everything's SO much better than even 2 weeks ago. And I have a friend there now who sometimes goes out for coffee with me, which is nice. We get along great. And of course I've always gotten along great with my boss. I've become much more outgoing and the two people who bugged me before are fine now and I don't see them as a problem and can have pleasant conversations with them. Hurray!! Re my music career, here's an interesting thing that happened. I believe in synchronicity, so I took it as a positive, not a negative. What happened was, I got my music equipment and my flutes out a few nights ago and started playing, and even discovered a new way to use my digital delay that makes the music much, much better even. I was enjoying myself immensely, and played for almost an hour. I was starting to think, "Okay, I'm ready to go out and start playing again" (I'm talking about street music -- my music is rather exotic, not mainstream, so street music has always been one of the few regular avenues for me to get my music out in public if I want to play often.) Anyway, at that very moment, BOTH my amplifier and my microphone went dead! I mean literally neither work now. Instead of being upset, I had this feeling of mystery and magic connected to it. It was so tangible! I felt that I was being told by my muse that this isn't my way anymore; I want and need something better, in every way. I've sensed for a long time that my equipment is on its way out, for instance. So it's kind of like "out with the old to make way for the new." Will see what develops. Love -- Shirley
Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Wed Mar 15, 2000 4:16am Subject: Turning lives around > Hello, I just was accepted to this list. I am having a tough time with my emotions and I want to believe that I can recover and live a good life. I am not doing well financially. In fact, I recently moved to my uncles because I could no longer pay my bills living alone. My uncle was nice in letting me move here for a period, but as to his general attitude and way of relating to people, he is not a very nice man, very sarcastic and critical. I am struggling with sooo much anxiety, to the point where I am not able to work right now. My uncle doesn't understand and thinks I should just be able to go out and do it. He frustrates me in so many ways but I don't feel I can talk to him about anything because of his lack of understanding. Do you think I can learn to relate with my uncle in a way that's healthy and beneficial for the both of us? And do you think that I, regardless of how much mental anguish I am experiencing, can learn to live a quality life and have healthy relationships? I do feel overwhelmed and honestly don't know what to do sometimes, but I want to believe there's a way out. I can get started with your techniques and post to the list about my experience? I don't know where to begin I deal with so much intense emotion. Right now I am living with my uncle and I can't stand it, but I feel I have no other options so I'm here. His lack of understanding of what I go through makes me feel crazy at times, but I know I'm not crazy. Anyway, thanks for accepting me to the list. The conversation seems different here, as if people really are turning their lives around. I like that. I hope I can have similar experiences as other members of this list. Daniel Dear Daniel, You will! you will! have a good life. Keep studying the articles and Testimonials, and read the Archives from the earliest date. I know it will not be easy to do this while living with your uncle, who sounds abusive to me. I hope you can avoid trying to relate to him as much as possible and find a place to pound on a bed whenever you feel anxious, etc. read all the excitatory nervous symptoms. When ever you feel these symptoms, do some banging on a bed if he's not around and release and redirect anger to your parents, AND to your uncle. If you can't do it on a bed, do it mentally in your mind. You may not be able to have a healthy relationship with your Uncle for a long time. You should be relieved of major mood swings in a few months, but it takes a year or so to adjust and to be able to relate to people in healthier ways. Maybe you can find some kind of non-stressful boring job just to get out of your uncles way for a while. (I had a lot of cleaning jobs early on, but I don't know if your uncle would think that beneath you) Even just get out and let your uncle think you are searching for work. Go to a park and do some yelling at trees pretending they are past abusers. And try to avoid relating with him as much as possible. Let me know how it goes. I am so glad you are here. Ellie
> I am a new member of this list. I went back to some of the archived messages to get an idea of what people experience and are working on at this list. I came across a message on crying where you talk about the healing effects it can have. My question is...is crying always a good thing no matter what? The reason I ask is because sometimes I feel discouraged, overwhelmed, sometimes even hopeless, and when I'm feeling this way and cry as a result, I think I can begin to feel even more down than before. I wanted to ask you what you think about this because I know it's good to shed tears for unexpressed hurts of the past, but I don't want to do it wrong...I'm thinking if I'm feeling hopeless and I cry out of a sense of hopelessness then that might be an ineffective way of getting emotions out. What do you think about this? I just don't want to do it wrong...Daniel Dear Daniel It's always good to release emotions, including the crying. Sounds like when you are crying but feeling hopeless along with it you may be really saying to your self, "I'm hopeless, i.e. I'm no good" and this is anger turned inward, turn it out besides just the 'shed tears for unexpressed hurts of the past' get angry at those abusers who hurt you. Ellie
One of the good things about this process is that it makes me very aware of my thinking. In the past I felt pretty helpless to do anything about them and now I feel I have a method of fighting those negative thoughts and ideas and I know that I am going to win! I see those ideas and false beliefs as not coming from my parents or whoever else but from the originator of all lies. The Bible (Jesus) calls him the father of all lies. Some call him the Devil or you might call it evil. It's just that at the time I was indoctrinated with falsehood it happened to be wearing my mothers face or my fathers or someone I thought was my friend. We are all subject to temptation and evil if we are living in the world. Just as I see God working through people and events when good things happen. This does not change the way I redirect I still picture people's faces and redirect my anger but it helps my understanding. I'll understand if you don't post this I know not everyone on the list is a Christian. I have also physically been feeling better although I suspect I am still not finished. Love, Carol Dear Carol, I don't call myself a Christian because I believe they misunderstood Jesus message, but I often sing to myself that hymn I learned as a child, "What a friend I have in Jesus." I don't post as much about God as I would like to, because I've been accused of running a cult and being some kind of guru. BUT I couldn't agree with you more. Our parents were innocent victims themselves, and it is only the disease=devil that we are getting mad at. Jesus admonished his mother, ie. gently, but he said with anger I'm sure..."Get thee behind me, Satan" As I've mentioned before, I believe this is how Jesus helped people heal from emotional and physical ills. I don't know if there is a real devil or if it's just the disease, or where it came from or how we went astray, but I do believe God is helping us out of this mess and now science has proven that it works and shown us how to do it faster. And what is science...nothing but an understanding and explanation of God's creation and laws. Ellie
Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Wed Mar 15, 2000 9:01am Subject: Dream of glory > Ellie -- I just looked through my dream journal and found a dream entry from July of 1998 that is really exciting. I think what it says in dream language is so analogous to what I have learned from redirecting and the toxic mind theory. Here it is, quoted in its entirety (it's not long): Brilliant Feathered Bird "A teacher or narrator is showing me a large domesticated bird - like a parrot in size and type - that likes to pluck out all its feathers because when the new ones grow in, they are gorgeously, exotically colorful. He goes on to say that people unfortunately try to get these birds to stop plucking out the feathers, and thus the birds become despondent and lose self-esteem. They hang their heads and keep their beaks down, with downcast eyes." We were once "naked" and raw, but now we are all becoming brilliant feathered birds. Shirley 341 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Thu Mar 16, 2000 6:39am Subject: the "right" way to redirect > Ellie, > When it comes to getting angry with past abusers, are there any guidelines to follow? I guess I'm just confused about how to do it "right", if there is such a thing as a right way to get angry. Do I yell and scream at my father for what he did to me? Do I say statements like, "I am a good person, but you made me feel like a failure! I hate you for that...you were so wrong to do that to me!". Or how about expressing anger through questions like, "Why did you do that to me? Was I really that bad? Don't you know how much that HURT ME to treat me that way (screaming as I ask the questions)? I have just started doing anger redirecting and wonder what the "right way" is. Is there a right way or does anything go as long as anger is able to be released towards a past abuser? Also, if I am trying to redirect anger towards a past abuser (father for example) do I ask the questions and make the statements in the present tense or past tense? Present tense example: "Why are you *doing* this to me dad? You make me so angry and I just wish you would *shutup* for a minute and leave me alone!" Past tense example: Why *did* you do that to me dad? You made me so angry and I wish you *would have* shutup for a minute and *left* me alone!" Is one way more effective than the other or does it even matter? Daniel HOORAY for you! However it comes out is the right way. Don't expect your Dad to answer if you ask him why :-) I'm smiling. It's fine too if you think about subsequent abusers in your life at the same time, people who you were involved with who reminded you of your Dad, and who may also have been abusive. And don't worry about tense, there is no time regression in the brain...your Dad is in your brain in the present...those parental voices are still in our heads saying to us, 'you're a failure' yes, tell them to SHUT UP! The idea is that as long as you are thinking about your past abusers when you express your anger, you are releasing toxic neurochemicals that stored all the justifiable but repressed anger. When you do this you are clearing neural pathways in the brain, and allowing for restored and normal neurotransmission. It's great the way you are doing it. Some of us have used simple mental 'I hate you' or 'get out of my head' or even the f...u prayer, and I still use this from time to time in current situations. Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Thu Mar 16, 2000 6:51am Subject: Prison project update Hooray for the Embassy of Bangladesh. To bring you up to date, I just heard they will distribute the pamphlet to their prisons. So translation to the sixteenth language, Bengali, is next. I'm especially pleased because there are 130 million people there...hoping to get India soon. Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Fri Mar 17, 2000 4:54am Subject: Mother's wisdom 1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION... "Just wait until your father gets home." 2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING.... "You are going to get it when we get home!" 3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE... "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you ...Don't talk back to me!" 4. My Mother taught me LOGIC... "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me." 5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE... "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way." 6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD... "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job. 7. My Mother taught me ESP... "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?" 8. My Mother taught me HUMOUR... "When that lawn mower cuts off you toes, don't come running to me." 9. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT... "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up." 10. My Mother taught me about SEX.... "How do you think you got here?" 11. My Mother taught me about GENETICS... "You're just like your father." 12. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS... "Do you think you were born in a barn?" 13. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE... "When you get to be my age, you will understand." > 14. And my all time favorite...JUSTICE... "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. Then you'll see what it's like." Sally 344 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Fri Mar 17, 2000 5:18am Subject: "RETOUCHING" FROM THE MASTER'S HAND -- A Word through Ching Co > Ellie, thought this was so refreshing as this Word came forth, I believe it is a touch of showing what God is doing in and through you and others to heal the nations. Sally "RETOUCHING" FROM THE MASTERS HAND -- A Word through Ching Co Cebu City Philippines Ching's email: Wednesday, March 15, 2000 Yesterday afternoon, during my time of rest, I felt the Lord gently calling me to take a walk with Him in the spirit. I found myself being led inside a beautiful gallery and inside I saw many pieces of artwork that was hanging from wall to wall. It was of various sizes, colors, textures, designs. I noticed that as we passed by every piece, the Lord would gently touched each one with His hand and there will be a smile in His face as He did that. Then, I heard Him speak these words to me. "Each piece you saw is My Masterpiece." SOME WERE PLEASANT, SOME FEARFUL AND AWESOME Then He brought me to His workshop. Inside I found different types of tools and materials that He used for the creation of His masterpiece. Some of the tools and materials look very pleasant and familiar to the eyes while the other tools look fearful and awesome. However, when He began using each tools in His hand and worked with them. They all worked so beautifully together and I realized that all are useful and essential for the creation of His Masterpiece. IT LOOKED PERFECT TO ME > >Then He showed me one work that was still in process. When I looked at that piece, it already looked perfect to my eyes. But then I saw the Lord shake His head and began doing some retouching to that piece, and when He has finished retouching it, the piece was glowing with the same glory that the Master has. THE LORD EXPLAINED > >I then felt the Lord began explaining to me the meaning of that vision. He impressed to me that each one of us is like a Masterpiece hanging in His gallery. Special, unique like no other piece and that He is the one who crafted each piece. > >The different types of tools and materials that I saw, some pleasant and others fearsome and awesome represents all the experiences that God has allowed to touched our lives. Some are pleasant while others have been painful but when we combined them together, we will realized that all these have become important ingredient to what we have become in Him. UNTIL WE GLOW > >Many times when others look at us, they see only the things that are outward and often would think that we are already good enough, and sometimes we ourselves would think that way too. But to the eyes of the Master Artist, He sees beyond the outward appearances and He will not stopped working in our lives retouching every part of us until we will glow with His own reflection and His glory will be seen in us. WHAT'S THE ARTIST WORKING ON THIS TIME > >The Lord impressed to me that for this season in the lives of many of His Masterpieces, He is doing a very particular work. He asked me what I've noted in my own life and those that are around me like my family and my friends. And as I was pondering about this, I realized that all of us seem to undergoing the same type of "retouching" from the hand of our Master Artist. FORCED TO THE SURFACE > >We have been experiencing more and more the Lord working in healing us from many emotions associated with the past. Whatever we have been suppressing or ignoring or putting aside have been forced to the surfaces in these past days. Events would occurred in our midst that will triggered certain reactions and we have discovered that as we sift through all these reactions and emotions, that many of them were tied in to our past pains, past fears, past failures, past suppressions. FOUND ACTING LIKE CHILDREN > >God has been showing us where all these started and at times bringing us back to our childhood days and pointing out the specific time and event where all these has taken place. It was like we were inside a theatre watching a movie being played in our mind and that movie was about us. Some of us even found ourselves acting like children (the main character of that movie) and for the first time was able to expressed out to the Lord various emotions which have lie dormant in our sub-conscious mind for so long. All the past phantoms hiding deep within us were being forced out to the surface. This time, we found the Lord walking us through each particular event. We have felt challenges not to run away nor to cover them up, but He has encouraged us to freely shared and expressed these feelings to one another. We have been experiencing a great washing of His love being poured all over us as we allowed Him to retouched us. The stings and pains associated to those times was finally removed from us. I felt that the work that He is doing now in our midst is not isolated but this could be taking place in a greater scale and happening to many brethen as well and this is the reason why the Lord has led me to share this publicly. ALMOST ALMOST TO THE PUBLIC > >The Lord is about to open His gallery to the public and to show off His Masterpieces to the nations. He has done much work in the lives of His various Masterpieces and now He is finishing and retouching the smallest flaws and imperfections. Rejoice beloved Masterpieces of the Most High, for He who began a good work in us will be faithful to bring it to completion for the glory of His name. One of God's Masterpiece, Sis. Ching Co Cebu City Philippines
THE ELIJAH LIST P.O. Box 460, Monmouth, Oregon 97361 (503) 606-3798
Thanks Sally, it is just what happened to me...when I was redirecting one time, I wrote a letter to a friend, and when I looked at it I saw it was written in a child's handwriting. The truth of the toxic mind theory has been given to many. Ellie
> Have been plucking away by day > Trying to fly by cover of night > Through this dark, stormy weather. > Hoping this naked, ugly gray > Will burst into a profusion > Of colors wild and bright. >
> Sometimes I'm light as a feather- > Gliding on air, riding freely > Knowing exactly how to proceed > Without even having to think. > Then a downdraft hurls me > Into the sea of despair > I fight briefly, then sink.
Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Fri Mar 17, 2000 9:14am Subject: The wrong way Well, I guess there is a wrong way...someone around New York City is getting their anger out at mama by chopping off the heads and hands of statues of the Virgin Mary. Don't try it. It's like the artist who painted a picture of the Virgin and then splattered it with elephant dung. You'll get in trouble with the Mayor, or they will catch you and heap even more abuse on you. Ellie Yüklə 5,47 Mb. Dostları ilə paylaş:
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