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984 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Sun Mar 18, 2001 7:39am Subject: RE: eating good foods Hi Ellie, We have begun to eat better foods in my household more fruits and salads. I have added fish once a week and will add it twice a week slowly. Water has been a big one at dinner for all of us. The kids are glad to see this and do not put up a battle at all. I think this could be a sign of detoxification for all of us. My daughter told me she took one of my multi-vitamins for energy. She said she was feeling very tired. Ahhh could it be the change in foods? She has quit drinking soda (I do not buy soft drinks) this was her own doing. So she is not getting the caffeine she was use too. I still have some of the junk food... didn't want to do this to fast. Again this is not a race but a journey. Ahhhhh I think I have once again answered my own question. Thanks again you are a blessing to the world. Sasha Good for you, you may find the switch to more raw food will intensify the detoxing for a while, but it will speed your recovery. You are wise to do it slowly. It will get easier and easier to give up foods that are not what your body needs. I don't drink water at meals, it's not good to dilute the digestive enzymes. One suggestion might be to have a glass of water a half hour before the meal. Ellie htp://clearpathway.net 985 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Tue Mar 20, 2001 7:23am Subject: Off antidepressants-On RST instead Oh Ellie, I am off the anti-depressants. I had stopped taking them about a week and a half ago. I do not have a doctor that is monitoring me on the medications. Doctors here hand them out like candy. No required weekly or monthly visits. Just a written Rx and you will feel better in a week or so! I had taken myself off of them before and done really well...It was yet another traumatic moment in my life "I" was told it would be a good idea. EEKS! However, Could it be so soon I would be feeling this way? Well you are right! I was just telling myself I need to go back on them...cuz the way I was feeling. No I am going to get through this once and for all. Now if I do not let someone know how I have been hurt or angry am I not keeping the toxins locked inside? The difference in my telling them is not in anger but in honesty and self-love? Do you think I should just let them have it! Ahhh I answered my question...It is my fear and guilt I am living in again. If I dare react in anger...I am once again the raging bitch I had once been! The very second I feel anger it is the tennis match with the bed. Sometimes I cannot get the anger out physically. This is when I self talk my way through it. Is this also toxin building? Instead of asking my children I could give them affirmation they need Not "Why" you are angry at me but..."I know" you are angry at me and you have every right to be! This may lead to the opening of conversation. Sasha Hi,
I'm delighted to hear you are off the antidepressant and using the RST instead. The RST does exactly the same thing in the brain that antidepressants do to make you feel better. It increases noradrenaline at synapses. But you have too much noradrenaline in the brain (the toxicosis) and with the RST you are detoxing any excess noradrenaline. With the antidepressant you are increasing the toxicosis, so it takes much longer to recover. When you recover, you may not feel as 'high' as you now do after doing some detoxing, but you won't miss this kind of 'high.' You will not have the mood swings. True euphoria is freedom from anxiety and distress. You will have a sustainable euphoria, and you will achieve this by always having your feelings when appropriate. My feeling about confronting people in person is that this is fine, if you have first done the pounding on the bed, and can confront calmly. At this point in your recovery your anger in current interactions is mixed with anger from the past, and therefore probably more intense than appropriate for the current situation. I am about 3 years post flood, and sometimes I confront people, but usually I don't bother. Don't worry if you can't get all the anger out physically each time. You will get new opportunities. It's like there is an overfilled reservoir in your brain, and you are periodically opening a few gates to lower the levels. I wouldn't try open a conversation with your children about why they are mad at you. If they are mad at you, maybe you could just say," It's OK for you to feel angry at me, why don't you pound on the bed and get it out, you will feel better" Ellie
http://clearpathway.net/ http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure 986 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Tue Mar 20, 2001 7:55am Subject: Confronting Re: Pound on the bed first and then confront if necessary. This post and response rang true. The idea of detoxing before confrontations is an important missing link I needed to get my emotional priorities straight. You know I tend to be confrontational before pillow punching and have to double my assignment.:-) C. Good to hear. I just got a rejection slip from a publisher, and wow, did I have a great temper tantrum and pound on the bed and yell at their denial that this is a great book and will be a best seller. I don't have to confront them, but I feel better and can move on with trying to get my book published. Ellie
987 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Fri Mar 23, 2001 8:12am Subject: Disclaimer Disclaimer The self-help measures posted to this eGroup are of a nature of advice given in 12-step programs and are not intended for children under 18 and in the care of parents without parental permission. The redirecting self-therapy brings full recovery from addictions but is not a part of any 12-step program. The other 11 steps are not required for full recovery from addictions. However, the suggestions for releasing and redirecting anger are in line with advice given by Melody Beattie in her book, Codependents' Guide to the Twelve Steps. In Step Nine she has a section on dealing with those who have harmed us and mentions the importance of releasing negative emotions with suggestions for confronting those who have abused us. There is a slogan used in 12-step programs that also applies to the redirecting self-therapy, "It works if you work it!" The self-therapy works if used as suggested because it is based on proven biological mechanisms as explained in the scientific paper, The toxic mind: the biology of mental illness and violence (http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26) If you cannot accept this theory, you may not benefit from the self-therapy at this time, but hopefully you will return to it at a later time. The redirecting self-therapy can eliminate self-destructive behavior, but if you are suicidal please seek professional help. I am a neuroscientist, not a therapist or medical practitioner. If you are in an abusive relationship, find a safe place to use the self-therapy and/or contact an abuse hot-line for assistance in dealing with abusive partners. The advice in this eGroup does not include suggestions for making changes in relationships. It is suggested that you not make major changes in work or relationships during the recovery period unless you are in danger. I cannot be responsible for any misuse of the self-therapy based on misinterpretation of the biological concepts. The redirecting self-therapy is safe as long as the anger is redirected as suggested rather than inward or toward others in person, and as long as there are no serious health conditions. Before beginning the self-therapy you are advised to offer the scientific paper to your physician and ask for guidance. I do not suggest discontinuing therapy or the use of prescribed drugs as ordered by physicians. The self-therapy can be used along with other therapies and medication. If you follow the suggestions in these posts to the eGroup you are doing so at your own risk. Ellie http://clearpathway.net/ http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
About relationships, I believe you will be guided from within as you do the RST and your mind clears. I want to caution people NOT to make changes, if possible, in work or relationships during the recovery period, including the muddy basin period, which can last a year or two. When you are post flood (PF), depression and mood swings will subside, but co-dependency lingers through the muddy basin period. Co-dependency is an addiction, and addictions are not gone at PF but only slowly subside, until the toxicosis (the repressed anger from childhood) is virtually gone. Remember, the post flood point is when about 95% of the repressed anger is gone, and the rest will slowly be released over time. See below for an analogy that might help explain this. I suggest telling partners to be patient during this recovery period. Some have partners who 'get it' for themselves right away, and they do the RST together. Others are in physically abusive relationships and need to get away. Others have partners who are supportive but don't use the RST themselves and most have stayed together, and the person who recovers continues to try and get their partner into this recovery. So I have no way of knowing how it will turn out for you. I can only say I hope you will continue the RST and I believe you will be guided by your increasing understanding of intimacy, and you will know when and how you might offer the RST to your partner or children. One person, now about 2 years PF has two small children and is expecting a third. Her husband is not in recovery but she is still with him. At times she tells me she wants to leave him, (she is always alert to her need to use the RST when her anger is triggered), at other times, she is patient and hoping he will be interested in the RST sooner or later. Another person has a partner who right away got into the RST. He told me it was as if they didn't know each other for a while, but they are still together. In my own case my husband died in 86, so I was alone. I did have a male friend later, but he was so codependent and needy I eventually broke off the relationship. Everyone's story is different, and I'm sure you understand I can't know what is going on or give advice, but I believe God guides us about all these matters. If the scientific explanation of toxicosis did not provide a clear picture of the detoxification process, a flood analogy might be useful. Neurons are long cells that connect with each other at tiny gaps, called synapses, where gates open and nerve impulses pass from one neuron to the next. Visualize the neurons in the brain as long channels through which water flows and has specific effects on thought and behavior. Think of the toxicosis as overflowing reservoirs of dirty water in some of the neuron channels, reservoirs so full that someone has to open some flood gates and let the water flow out. The gate-keeper is you. It would be too devastating to open all the gates at once, so you periodically open a few gates during what are detoxification crises. The water flows out and floods the synapse area. It then rushes though other channels--the long neurons that control thought and behavior. The force of the water is so great it splashes around and causes all kinds of excitatory nervous symptoms. An excitatory nervous symptom might be an aggressive assault, verbal or physical, on some one who is innocent or partially innocent, perhaps a friend who reminds you of an abusive father. You might picture the dirty water gushing out from the end of a channel and splashing this person. The redirecting therapy allows you to re-channel the water and send it through other channels that have become clogged up with mud because in the past you did not open the gates to these channels. The force of the water is strong and has a cleansing effect on these channels. It forces out the mud that has accumulated so the water can now flow through. But in this case your father is standing at the end of a channel, and the water splashes on him. You have redirected your anger to the original abuser. This picture is simplistic and not entirely accurate because many channels are involved. You continue to open flood-gates during the periodic detoxification crises in different regions of the brain until all the reservoirs in the neurons are at a normal level and all the channels are clear. When most of the toxicosis is gone, you are what we call post-flood. This is not a sudden point of cure, but is an arbitrary point chosen as a goal. At this point about 95% of the repressed anger related to childhood has been released. After any flood there is a muddy basin period during which smaller gates continue to open. You will need to do the redirecting to past abusers indefinitely, but the detoxification crises will be less intense, less often, and excitatory nervous symptoms will slowly subside. Ellie http://clearpathway.net/ http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
I urge you and anyone on the list to go out and see the movie "Pollock," which is the biography of the artist Jackson Pollock. It is unflinching as it shows his incredible toxic anger and how his wife, the artist Lee Krasner, was equally incredible in her codependent support of his alcoholism. I see his paintings now as the most exacting expression of his misdirected rage against his absent father and against his mother for his traumatic birth in which he was a suffocated blue baby with the cord around his neck. The movie ends abruptly with Pollock's suicidal drive in which he crashed his Cadillac convertible in 1956, killing both himself and a girlfriend of his mistress --- his mistress did survive. I have a special interest in this film because the actress playing Lee Krasner is Marcia Gay Harden. She was nominated for an Oscar for Best Supporting actress. I knew her at the University of Texas 20 years ago and knew back then that she was destined for the "major leagues" in theater and film. Also, Ed Harris playing Pollock is a nominee for Best Actor. I'll be tuned to the Oscar broadcast tomorrow night. I really think this movie will trigger detox crises, especially in those on the list who think themselves to be artists. I've never seen such alcoholic rage and codependency presented in such a natural and pure way in a movie because I think, it was all rationalized in the service of Pollock's art. Therefore, the toxic mind was considered the source of great art and was worshipped as a fetish. Tom 991 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Mon Mar 26, 2001 9:22am Subject: Codependency I don't get it. could you elaborate for me in little chunks or postings? due to my brain damage I don't process long interrelated documents so am unable to pick out salient points. describe flood with real life example if possible describe PF with real life example if possible describe relationship application with real life example if possible I am pretty sure codependency is a factor in all my relationships, friends, family, and S.O. But I can connect RST with remediation in a way applicable to myself as well as I can simple thought redirection. Hello,
I'm not sure where you are at with the RST. Have you studied The Biology of Emotions article and do you understand it? RE: describe flood with real life example if possible There is a flood of repressed anger in your brain stored as neurochemicals. Your brain is periodically trying to release this anger. Until you are post flood this anger is trying to get out, and it gets out in the form of excitatory nervous symptoms (detoxification crises). Symptoms might include misdirected anger (see the list in the article) cravings for stimulants, including cravings for people, ie the symptoms of codependency. The craving for people is an opportunity to do the RST and redirect anger to parents, which will speed the detoxification process. So when you feel lonely and in need of people, do some redirecting of anger to your parents RE: describe PF with real life example if possible When you are post flood, your cravings, including your codependent need for people will be less and less. RE: But I can connect RST with remediation in a way applicable to myself as well as I can simple thought redirection. Not clear to me what you are saying here. I think you mean you "can't connect RST"? If you mean you don't understand getting physical rather than just mentally redirecting, the pounding on the bed and getting physical is more effective. I suggest you re-read the article and follow the suggestions for the RST. The things I post to the eGroup are sometimes answers to specific questions, in this case it was from someone who wondered if it was best not to make changes in relationships and I agreed that it is best not to do this during the recovery period. You are no doubt still codependent, as this is our basic addiction. Just try to do the RST as suggested in the article and in time your codependency will subside. If you send an email to me at clearpathway@earthlink.net, I can send you a longer version of The Biology of Emotions article for you to study and follow as you do the RST. Ellie http://clearpathway.net/ http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
Date: Fri Mar 30, 2001 7:26 am Subject: 1. The toxic mind: the biology of mental illness and violence
http://clearpathway.net/ http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
I think I am getting to the post-flood stage. After my last wave of depression 2 weeks ago, I start to feel really good. I can get excited, I can release my past anger quickly and I am more and more enjoying myself and the people around. I think that sometimes I just get too much excitement - I just do not know how to express happiness. I also start to cry quite easily. Yesterday I was crying for almost 20 minutes and it came so easily and naturally. It was really worth to do the hard work until now and I will continue to do it so I release even more of the suppressed anger. The interesting thing is that as the anger subsides I really start to love my parents - especially my mom more and more. I still get excitory symptoms but I can handle them now more easily and I think these last 4 months during which I was doing the redirecting made me stronger mentally, more patient and more persistent. Thanks once more for providing the guide how to get out from the depression - it really works although the results start to be obvious after some hard work has been done - just like in everything else in life... Have a nice weekend and I hope you will really find a publisher for your book. It could really help to many people to improve the quality of their lives. I just keep on rolling.... R. Thank you for sharing your success...Keep rolling and keep redirecting........ Ellie http://clearpathway.net/ http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
"Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father and mother more than me is not worthy of me." And again in Luke 14:26, "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple." I believe he meant to hate the sickness in them and in ourselves. Thanks for sharing this with us. Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Sun Apr 8, 2001 7:32am Subject: Prison Project Update I had a wonderful letter from Zambia, where I sent 10,000 pamphlets. They arrived safely and have been distributed to all prisoners. I also sent 5,000 to Swaziland. Can't afford to do this for others, but it was worth it, since when I send only one for prison officials to copy and distribute, they may land in the wastebasket. Looks like the healing may begin in Africa. Ellie http://clearpathway.net/ http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
I can't resist telling you this, but just as I wrote my belief about the real God, who has plenty of anger, it started to thunder outside my window. It was like God saying, yes, I am getting angry with you. Here is some more about Jesus. "Moreover, if thy brother shall trespass against thee go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou has gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a publican." This sounds like confrontation and an attempt to help others. There is no reason to assume that Jesus used the word church as it is used by religions. The word church may well have been chosen by followers who had formed religions. Jesus directed his anger toward parent substitutes when he confronted the authorities of church and state and overthrew tables in the temple. In the end he was crucified for his rebellion. But he had released his anger to the point of forgiveness when he spoke his famous words on the cross as written in Luke: 23:34, "forgive them for they know not what they do." There is nothing in the Bible that says we should be obedient to earthly leaders. "Psalm 146:3 "Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help." And from Matthew 23:9 "And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven." Jesus appeared to have the patriarchal view of God of his time, but it was not a God of judgment. He says in John 5:22, "For the Father judgeth no man, but hath committed all judgment unto the Son. I believe by judgment he meant to get angry, but not the moral judgment of our justifiable anger that was suppressed by parents and religious leaders. Ellie http://clearpathway.net/ http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
http://clearpathway.net/ http://home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 999 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Wed Apr 11, 2001 3:01pm Subject: Post Flood I want to make the point again that post flood is not a point of cure, but a goal. It is when most (maybe 95%) of the repressed anger from childhood is gone. For some people there is a dramatic release from depression at this point. But for others the mood swings can continue, but these should be less often and less intense through the muddy basin period. Post flood is similar to post primal as described by Janov. The major eruptions, which are detox crises, have subsided, but there can be more detox crises from time to time for a long time. Ellie http://clearpathway.net/ http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
http://clearpathway.net/ http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
http://clearpathway.net/ http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
http://clearpathway.net/ http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 1003 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Fri Apr 13, 2001 4:27pm Subject: When to Redirect Anger REDIRECT ANGER DURING EXCITATORY NERVOUS SYMPTOMS. I was asked about how to bring back early memories. It is unnecessary to bring up early trauma, and can be emotionally painful to do this. Some who have tried to self-primal have ended up in psych hospital. The RST is about redirecting anger to past abusers, not about specific childhood trauma. Redirect WHEN you have excitatory nervous symptoms. Please reread The Biology of Emotions article to see the list. Later on you may recall some specific childhood trauma, but there will be no emotional pain attached. Ellie http://clearpathway.net/ http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
Hi Ellie, I stopped doing the redirecting, though I would come back to it occasionally. I knew I had not expressed enough anger towards my dad and his illness. So for a couple weeks I did quite a bit of redirecting toward him and his illness and all the others involved. I was feeling alot better.
Hi,
To answer your questions, yes, you needed to handle those memories right away and you did handle them by doing the FUs. The redirecting you had already done would have cleared your brain of some of the toxicosis, so that some early memories of trauma might surface. If you were fully detoxed and these memories surfaced, there would not be any emotional pain attached. But since you have a way to go, there was still some emotional pain attached. But memories will not surface until you are ready to handle them, and you now know how to redirect and get through the storm, i.e. the detoxification crisis. So don't be afraid of any future surfacing of early memories. If childhood memories surface, feel the fear and get right into the redirecting. People who are not into the redirecting self-therapy (RST) and allow themselves to sink into the pain of early trauma without redirecting can suffer emotionally. People who try to self-primal have landed in psych hospitals. That will not happen to you since you know how to redirect when memories surface. If you redirect during these memories you will not go crazy. By doing those FUs you saved yourself from ending up in a psych hospitals. Go through those scary feelings--the fear--and get right to the anger. Please reread this post Hurricane Detox..... > Ellie, I must describe for you and the List a tremendous detox episode I went through last night -- actually, when I was awakened at 3 AM from a fitful sleep. It seems that my strongest detox events occur at this time when they interrupt my sleep. All week I had been leading up to it; I felt a lot of gut-churning grief and a few crying episodes over the whole abandonment mess with the two adult children of my 1st marriage, but I knew it was really a "soul nausea" -- a coming detox storm giving its warnings -- and that I was not yet ready to "throw up." But last night was the time to get it all out, and out it came! I refer to it as a "textbook" case of redirecting because I really experienced the difference between redirecting and merely having a primal. I was definitely having a primal, and I know you warn about people who self-primal run the risk of psychosis. Well, that was upsetting me and I started shaking while walking around the house in the dark. I really felt I was going insane and I started to get really scared. I sensed my fear building up because of the thought I was crazy, which in turn magnified the fear into an ever-increasing positive feedback loop or "vicious cycle." I found myself standing and shaking and silently screaming. My arms were tense and I was slowly pushing them up and down in front of me as if I were trying to shed skin or get out of clothing that was hampering me. Later I had a sense that this was a traumatic birth experience -- I was a blue baby, being suffocated at the very time I should have been taking my first breath. Also I had pneumonia and was in an oxygen tent in the hospital when I was 3 months old, so I'm sure there was something related to that as well. I was really freaking out as I shook more violently, until I remembered that I should redirect. At first I didn't know which target to pick, but I was so terrified it didn't matter, so I just started with the "usual suspects:" my mother father, doctors in the hospital, God, the Pope the Catholic Church, etc. And the amazing experience was that as soon as I made the conscious decision to redirect, I was suddenly calm in the midst of this shaking, like a very calm eye in the middle of a hurricane. And I do intend a pun here, which we can only make in English, namely "eye" = "I". I was the eye in the middle of my own toxic psychic hurricane, and as I was redirecting I really felt that I was separating myself from the detox symptoms that were overwhelming my physical body. In other words, up until the moment I decided to redirect I was actually identifying my self, my I with the dear I was experiencing, which meant that I was allowing myself to be blown away by the hurricane. That is true insanity, or the path to true psychosis. But once I started to redirect, I simply let the detox spasms take their course. If anything, they intensified because I was no longer inhibiting them. Imagine someone with Parkinson's really shaking to the point that they have to lie down because they are shaking so violently that they are losing their balance and can't stand up anymore. I then fell into the bed and was writhing. I was still completely silent, but inwardly screaming at my mother to come and pick me up, but she wouldn't come so I was angry at her. I became angry at other targets because this was a primal fear of abandonment I had to work through in order to experience the physiological memories of the actual abandonment I felt at birth, even in the womb. > As you say, Ellie, it doesn't matter if you pinpoint the exact primal event in your infancy or before. What matters is that you find the security of your own ego, your own I in the center of the detox hurricane. Once there, you are completely protected and I really felt the nakedness of my own being there, nothing but me, myself and I waiting calmly in the eye off Hurricane Detox for the winds to run their course and finally die away. > As I felt the episode weaken, I realized that I needed to do some reprocessing of the experience. I did some of my EMDR techniques (EMDR = Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) which are actually the brain's way of processing emotional trauma, as EMDR creates the conditions while awake, what REM dream sleep does for you unconsciously). That was the "icing on the cake" so to speak and allowed me to rest calmly, literally just like a newborn baby and I fell into a wonderful peaceful sleep at about 4 AM and woke up really refreshed and feeling wonderful at 7:30 AM. > The sun has been shining brightly all day in my soul and giving me new confidence that when the next hurricane or tropical detox storm hits, I will simply redirect and ride it out as an observer in the middle of the hurricane "I". MT Ellie http://clearpathway.net/ http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
It's not only OK, it's the way to avoid any real psychosis that would land you in a psych hospital. Any symptoms you have that seem crazy to you are healing events. They are all detox crisis and opportunities to redirect. I spent years in psych hospitals because I never knew this, if you read my long story, Confessions of a Schizophrenic. Ellie
http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure 1006 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Wed Apr 18, 2001 8:16am Subject: Another Inspiration Hello Ellie, I've been waiting for a depression, but I haven't experienced any lately. I have also been waiting for another anxiety attack, but there haven't been any lately either. After reading my diary yesterday from November until beginning of March I realized that I am post flood. It's quite sudden as you have described it. That's why I'm still waiting for another depression. The last depression was caused by a current situation. The books I bought helped me realized this, because some of the exercise I have done from those books helps me raise my awareness of my Self, my mind. So I handled the situation responsibly and now I feel at peace. I don't feel happy and I don't feel sad. I am at peace within. In my free time there is always something I'm doing. For example I cleaned up my car, which I have to say was quite messy (especially the trunk), for no particular reason. I used to clean it only when I drove my Grandmother somewhere. My son and me spend true quality time together. I finally have the energy/focus to give my son my undivided attention. There is still sadness which I face rather then eating it away. But that's nothing compared to what it was. Man, my diary sincerely helped me to understand and realize that I am postflood. The emotions I felt then I can truly say are behind me. Some passages made me laugh, because I realized how much I also hated myself. Finally all that came out, I faced it, I went through that "hell of emotions" and I'm still alive, stronger, more aware. And that's that. I could go on, but you pretty much know what I'm experiencing right now, since you've been through the same. Now a question, do I have to wait some more just to be sure? N Thank you for sharing this with us. I hope when you say you are not "happy" that you mean you are not "high", and that "peace within" will be a sustainable place of happiness. The way to sustain it is to continue the RST whenever you have excitatory nervous symptoms. You may have some future detox crises, ie, excitatory nervous symptoms, but they should be mild. You will need to continue to redirect anger to past abusers for a long time, and eventually when your anger is triggered it will be only about the person in the current interaction. When that time comes you will need to feel it and have your anger at the person in the current interaction by using the RST. You may confront the person in the current interaction or maybe not. I'm sure you will be guided from within. It sounds like God has blessed you-- with that "peace that passeth all understanding." Ellie http://clearpathway.net/ http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure Attachment 1k (image/gif) emsmile.gif 1007 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Thu Apr 19, 2001 3:20am Subject: Caution This is a reminder that the RST is about redirecting DURING excitatory nervous symptoms, and not by trying to recall and relive early traumatic experiences. I heard on the news this morning that a 10 year old girl died during a rebirthing session. Whether her death had anything to do with the rebirthing session is questionable, nevertheless, attempting to re-experience early trauma is not only unnecessary but can be emotionally devastating. Attempts to self-primal have landed people in psych hospitals. When you experience fear and other symptoms of emotional illness, do not be concerned, but recognize the fear and symptoms as detoxification crises, i.e. healing events, and get right to the underlying anger and redirect the anger to past abusers. As long as you redirect during the detox crises, you will get through the storm. Please print out The Biology of Emotions article (http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26/pamphlet.html) as a pamphlet and refer to it often for how to use the RST and what to expect. Also please read the longer version, the scientific article, Endorsements, FAQ, and Confessions of a Schizophrenic on: http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 Disclaimer: The redirecting self-therapy is based on the toxic mind theory, a recent discovery of the biology of mental illness and violence as published in a medical journal. The self-therapy is not intended for children under 18 and in the care of parents without parental permission. Although the redirecting self-therapy brings recovery from addictions, it did not originate in a 12-step program, and the other 11 steps are not necessary for full recovery. However, the toxic mind theory also supports advice given by Melody Beattie in her book, Codependents' Guide to the Twelve Steps. In Step Nine she has a section on "dealing with those who have harmed us" and discusses the importance of releasing anger with suggestions for confronting those who have abused us. There is a slogan used in 12-step programs that applies to the redirecting self-therapy, "It works if you work it!" The redirecting therapy works if used as suggested because it is based on proven biological mechanisms as explained in the toxic mind theory. If you have trouble accepting this theory, you may not benefit from the redirecting therapy at this time, but hopefully you will return to it at a later time. The redirecting self-therapy can eliminate self-destructive behavior, but if you are suicidal please seek professional help. I am a neuroscientist, not a therapist or medical practitioner. If you are in an abusive relationship, find a safe place to use the self-therapy and/or contact an abuse hot-line for assistance in dealing with abusive partners. The advice in this book does not include suggestions for making changes in relationships. It is suggested that you not make major changes in work or relationships during the recovery period unless you are in danger. I cannot be responsible for any misuse of the self-therapy based on misinterpretation of the biological concepts. The redirecting self-therapy is safe as long as the anger is redirected as suggested rather than inward or toward others in person, and as long as there are no serious health conditions. Before beginning the self-therapy you are advised to offer the scientific paper to your physician and ask for guidance. This book does not suggest discontinuing therapy or the use of prescribed drugs as ordered by physicians. The self-therapy can be used along with other therapies and medication. If you follow the suggestions in this book you are doing so at your own risk. The goal of redirecting self-therapy is to restore the fight or flight reaction and the emotions you were born with--anger and sadness when appropriate. When people abuse you, you will restore your peace of mind by having your appropriate anger using the self-therapy. Sometimes you will calmly confront the person, other times you may not. The promises of recovery are freedom from fear, emotional disorders, addictions, and improved physical health. You will have a sustainable euphoria, which is not the "high" from stimulants but is best defined as freedom from anxiety and distress. You will find it easier to let go of stimulants, sedatives, and sweets, bread, grains, and dairy, which contain toxins. If you continue to use these from time to time, your nervous system will be better able to detoxify them. You may have physical symptoms, which are detoxification crises, but these will be mild. Because your body can detoxify these occasional toxins you should be able to avoid the chronic disorders that can result in irreversible heart disease, cancer, and other diseases that are due to extensive toxicosis primarily of exogenous origin. Ellie http://clearpathway.net/ http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
I have done redirecting for sometime, not very often, quite rare. I swim at least 3 times a week. I also diet for 2 months already. I am under weight control by medication. I also take pills on antidepressant, sleeping pill, and the pill that makes me not to think too much and can concentrate easier. I want to stop my medication but I am afraid of the past experience that I was in so severe condition that I was taken to hospital. Please advise me. Best Regards, J.
http://clearpathway.net/ http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
http://clearpathway.net/ 1010 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Wed Apr 25, 2001 4:30am Subject: PF friends I hope I can come for an advise to you anytime I need it. I think I will not need it so often as I needed it until now but sometimes maybe I would ask for your opinion and guidance. Thanks again for all your help and the fact that you came to the root of the cause of the depression and how to cure it - the recovery is an amazing process, very tough but after the tough times - the storms, the sun comes out and it is amazing to follow all the processes and changes going on within myself. It is interesting although the old thinking still comes back quite often - however, now I know slowly it will falter away if I continue redirecting. I think one of the keys to success is to be 100% determined to get through the depression and believe in RST and use it no matter how down you feel - the fact that I did not give up even when the situation was the worst has given me a moral boost. I really feel everyday how my self-esteem is pumping up - of course it is still like a rollercoaster, but with a steep upward trend. R. I look forward to keeping in touch with PF friends around the world, and those of you in the depression-conquered group are welcome to contact each other. I doubt you'll need my advice but feel free to ask me. I think you will be guided from within, just as I have been. Those of you in the depression-conquered group are welcome to contact each other. Ellie http://clearpathway.net/ http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26 http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
Yes, I have read your web site and found it to be very interesting. It sounds to good to be true. You certainly had a rough go of it. I guess my problem with it is that I feel like I am just drudging up old stuff and not taking responsibility for myself and just blaming everyone else. ( Mom and Dad). I am having a hard time getting past that. I have done some small things like pounding my fist into my hand and just trying to feel the anger and do some good cussing. (while picturing Mom and Dad) I guess I have a control issue as I feel like when I allow myself to get angry I am gonna lose it. Any comments or advice would be appreciated. Thank-you, B. Hi, Don't forget you are not blaming your parents (they too were innocent children who had to suppress their emotions) or even getting angry at them, just at the memory of their sickness. And you don't need to dredge up old stuff or remember any childhood trauma. Just get mad at your parents and other past abusers during excitatory symptoms. It's a periodic detox process. When you recover you will feel love and gratitude for them. As for losing it, you may feel like you are losing it during a detox crisis, but as long as you redirect anger during the detox crisis you won't lose it. Read this from Tom: A Hurricane Detox from Tom. Dear Ellie, "I must describe a tremendous detoxification episode I went through last night -- actually, when I was awakened at 3 AM from a fitful sleep. It seems that my strongest detoxification events occur at this time when they interrupt my sleep. All week I had been leading up to it; I felt a lot of gut-churning grief and a few crying episodes over the whole abandonment mess with the two adult children of my 1st marriage, but I knew it was really a "soul nausea"-- a coming detox storm giving its warnings -- and that I was not yet ready to "throw up." But last night was the time to get it all out, and out it came! I refer to it as a "textbook" case of redirecting because I really experienced the difference between redirecting and merely having a primal. I was definitely having a primal, and I know you warn about people who self-primal run the risk of psychosis. Well, that was upsetting me as I started shaking while walking around the house in the dark. I really felt I was going insane and I started to get really scared. I sensed my fear building up because of the thought I was crazy, which in turn magnified the fear into an ever-increasing positive feedback loop or "vicious cycle." I found myself standing and shaking and silently screaming. My arms were tense and I was slowly pushing them up and down in front of me as if I were trying to shed skin or get out of clothing that was hampering me. Later I had a sense that this was a traumatic birth experience -- I was a blue baby, being suffocated at the very time I should have been taking my first breath. Also I had pneumonia and was in an oxygen tent in the hospital when I was 3 months old, so I'm sure there was something related to that as well. I was really freaking out as I shook more violently, until I remembered that I should redirect. At first I didn't know which target to pick, but I was so terrified it didn't matter, so I just started with the "usual suspects:" my mother father, doctors in the hospital, God, the Pope, the Catholic Church, etc. And the amazing experience was that as soon as I made the conscious decision to redirect, I was suddenly calm in the midst of this shaking, like a very calm eye in the middle of a hurricane. And I do intend a pun here, which we can only make in English, namely "eye" = "I". I was in the eye in the middle of my own toxic psychic hurricane, and as I was redirecting I really felt that I was separating myself from the detox symptoms that were overwhelming my physical body. In other words, up until the moment I decided to redirect I was allowing myself to be blown away by the hurricane. That is true insanity, or the path to true psychosis. But once I started to redirect, I simply let the detox spasms take their course. If anything, they intensified because I was no longer inhibiting them. Imagine someone with Parkinson's really shaking to the point that they have to lie down because they are shaking so violently that they are losing their balance and can't stand up anymore. I then fell into the bed and was writhing. I was still completely silent, but inwardly screaming at my mother to come and pick me up, but she wouldn't come so I was angry at her. I became angry at other targets because this was a primal fear of abandonment I had to work through in order to experience the physiological memories of the actual abandonment I felt at birth, even in the womb. As you say, Ellie, it doesn't matter if you pinpoint the exact primal event in your infancy or before. What matters is that you find the security of your own ego, your own I in the center of the detox hurricane. Once there, you are completely protected and I really felt the nakedness of my own being there, nothing but me, myself and I waiting calmly in the eye of the Hurricane Detox for the winds to run their course and finally die away. The sun has been shining brightly all day in my soul and giving me new confidence that when the next hurricane or tropical detox storm hits, I will simply redirect and ride it out as an observer in the middle of the hurricane "I". I have used this technique for the last 8 months to great effect and I believe it is on the cutting edge of therapy for the 21st Century as it both fulfills and transcends traditional talk and insight therapies of the 20th Century --- mainly because it completely short-circuits the inherent codependency that arises whenever you have a therapist other than yourself! Thus the therapy works because you yourself are your own therapist. Moreover, it is free and I heard about it and used it entirely from connections with people over the Internet. Welcome to 21st Century psychotherapy!!!" Tom 1012 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Fri Apr 27, 2001 2:45am Subject: Meditation question......... Dear Ellie, I have a question .......why shouldn't we meditate? I have been meditating now for about a year and a half ...I certainly would like to continue with it. Please elaborate on why I shouldn't continue. By the way...I stopped at K-mart on the way home from work and bought me a big, orange plastic bat from the toy section. I wacked the hell out of my bed this evening! B There are some types of meditation that are used to bring up feelings, and if you meditate to do this, and then pick up your big bat and do some wacking that would be good. But most meditation techniques (I often miss-type and type medication!) are a way of suppressing thoughts and feelings. Used this way, and usually it's or long periods, meditation is like a sedative drug. It stops the excitatory nervous symptoms that are necessary detox crises, e.g. racing thoughts at bedtime. If you have racing thoughts it's better to do some wacking for a while. It might not stop the racing thoughts at that particular moment, but will help the detox process, which is periodic, and in time you will have racing thoughts less often. The craving for sedatives, including sedating foods, and the desire to meditate are likely to continue long into the muddy basin period. I used to meditate to try to get to sleep, and must admit I still do this occasionally by counting my breath. So don't beat yourself up if you continue to meditate, but in time I think you will not have a need to do this. I find I naturally fall into a meditative state from time to time, when my mind just naturally rests, but it is only for a moment or two. And I enjoyed singing in a Gregorain Chant group, which was a meditation. No reason not to enjoy this, but I didn't do it to suppress emotions, which frankly is the reason most chanters are attracted to it. Ellie 1013 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Fri Apr 27, 2001 4:29am Subject: 3. Long version of the RST ================================== Archive note: The very lengthy text was removed. It has been posted under " Yüklə 5,47 Mb. Dostları ilə paylaş:
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