Ephesians

Be God-like

The task of Christianity is not primarily to get us ready for heaven—that is the easy part. We achieve salvation by grace through faith in Jesus Christ. The tough part is not heaven but earth. The major task of the Christian faith is to equip us for life here on this planet. So the theme of the Scriptures is how we are to handle life, with all its stress and pressure, temptation and allure, heartache and suffering, confusion and fear.

We are not here, either as a collective church or as individual Christians, primarily to make the world a better place to live in. Instead, we are to be better people in a terrible world—and as a by-product of becoming the kind of people God wants us to be, we will make the world a better place. And we have been given the secret that makes us the kind of people God wants us to be. Paul states the great secret of Christian living in the next two verses:

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. (Ephesians 5:1-2)

What does Paul mean, “Be imitators of God”? In the original text, the word for imitators is the Greek word that means, “to mimic,” to be a mimicker of God. Mimics are those who follow the pattern or the example of God. That is what we are to be. In a word, we are to be “God-like.” We are to be God-like people in an ungodly world.

Paul adds to this word “imitators” the word-picture “as dearly loved children.” This suggests the idea of the little child who looks at Daddy’s example, Mommy’s example, and wants to follow those big footsteps. If you’re a parent, you remember the day your child came up to you, perhaps with Daddy’s big shoes on his feet or Mommy’s big hat or scarf on her head, and said, “Look! I’m going to be just like you!” Remember how your heart went out to that child? That is how God looks upon us, His dearly beloved children, when we put on His characteristics—His love and forgiveness, for example—and we come up to Him and say, “Look, Heavenly Daddy! I’m going to be just like You!”

How are we to be God-like? Obviously, this does not mean we are to be like God in terms of His omnipotence, omniscience, or omnipresence—we are limited by our humanity in those regards. Some religions and cults would have you believe we can be like God in those ways, imbued with supernatural powers and knowledge—but that is all a lie of the devil. We cannot be like God in those ways, but we can be like God in terms of His character. That is how we are to mimic and imitate God. We are to be holy, righteous, forgiving, kind, and loving as He is. Ephesians 5:2 explains that the key to living God-like lives is to “live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” That is the key: Self-sacrificing love.

Do you know what it means to love? It means that you begin to see others as people instead of things—people with needs and feelings, people who are made in the image of God. Instead of seeing people as either objects of usefulness to you, or obstacles that hinder you, you put yourself in their place, realize that they have difficulties, heartaches, problems, joys, annoyances, yearnings, and aspirations just as you do.

When you begin to truly love, you become aware that the individual who seems so poised, confident, and maybe even arrogant is really just a scared child inside, putting up a big front. That enables you to understand and even reach out to this person who may be an annoyance or an obstacle in your life. You find that it is possible to look past the abrasiveness and see that person’s need of love and understanding.

When you begin to truly love, you become aware that the cruel, cold, callous person who intimidates you may have once been badly hurt by life. His rough exterior may be a defensive shell to prevent him from being hurt again. He’s not tough, he’s wounded. He needs love and understanding as much as anyone you’ve ever known.

When you begin to truly love, you begin to see qualities and worth in people you once wrote off as weak or boring or not worth your time. You take an interest in people you never noticed before. You appreciate people not just for what they can do for you or how attractive you find them, but simply because they are God’s children, uniquely made in His image. You discover that you want to help them, to uphold them, to take an interest in their lives—and in the process, you discover that your life has become enriched by their presence.

Paul closes this with a wonderful illustration: “Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God” (Ephesians 5:2). The Lord Jesus Christ revealed to us what a God-like life is all about, in that He is truly God and truly human. As the Son of God, He emptied Himself and endured the cross in order to save us. That is love to the utmost, love that sacrifices all for the sake of another. Obedient to God, thinking of you and me, forgetful of Himself, Jesus stretched Himself out upon the rugged beams of that instrument of torture and took your place and mine beneath the righteous judgment of God. That is love to the Nth degree.

That is the pattern we are to imitate. There is no room in the God-like life for the ugly attitudes and sins that belong to the old life—bitterness, rage, anger, brawling, slander, and malice. These are poisonous to your soul. Rid yourself of those poisons now. Paul’s message to us is clear:

Forgive, love—and live!

Study Questions

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Before you begin your study this week:

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  Pray and ask God to speak to you through His Holy Spirit.
  
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  Use only the Bible for your answers.
  
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  Write down your answers and the verses you used.
  
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  Answer the “Challenge” questions if you have the time and want to do them.
  
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  Share your answers to the “Personal” questions with the class only if you want to share them.
  

First Day: Read the commentary on Ephesians 4:30—5:2.

1. What meaningful or new thought did you find in the commentary on Ephesians 4:30—5:2 or from your teacher’s lecture? What personal application did you choose to apply to your life?

2. Look for a verse in the lesson to memorize this week. Write it down and post it in a prominent place. Make a real effort to learn the verse and its “address” (reference of where it is found in the Bible).

Second Day: Read Ephesians 5:3-14, concentrating on verse 3.

1. Paul has just encouraged us in Ephesians 5:1-2 to imitate God and live a life of love. From Ephesians 5:3a, what should not be a part of a Christian’s life?

2. These attitudes and actions were acceptable in the pagan society of Paul’s day,⁷ and they are accepted in the secular world today. How much of these things may be tolerated among Christians, and what wording does Paul use to emphasize this in Ephesians 5:3a?

3. Challenge: Our society not only accepts, but also promotes all these things. Can you think of some ways our society encourages people (especially young people) to accept these attitudes and actions?

4. What is the relationship of God’s people to these evil attitudes and actions? (Ephesians 5:3b)

5. Personal: What ungodly attitudes or actions have you tolerated “a hint” of in your life? How do you think you are affected by the music you listen to, the TV shows and movies you watch, or other activities you participate in? Be honest with yourself as you consider these questions.

Third Day: Review Ephesians 5:3-14, concentrating on verse 4.

1. From Ephesians 5:4a, what is out of place in a Christian’s life?

2. Obscenity and course joking are self-explanatory. What do you learn about foolish talk from the following verses?

Proverbs 12:23

Proverbs 15:2

3. What should come out of our mouths? (Ephesians 5:4b)

4. a. Read Matthew 12:34-37. What is our speech indicative of, according to verses 34-35?

b. Why should we watch what comes out of our mouths? (Matthew 12:36-37)

5. Personal: Take a moment and think, what comes out of your mouth?

Fourth Day: Review Ephesians 5:3-14, concentrating on verses 5-8a.

1. What can we be certain of? (Ephesians 5:5)

2. What does Ephesians 5:7 exhort us not to do?

3. a. The same truths are expressed in Colossians 3:5-6. From Ephesians 5:6b and Colossians 3:6, what is coming because of these things?

b. Some people may try to say that God’s wrath is not coming, that it doesn’t matter what we do, that it is alright to sin. What does Ephesians 5:6a have to say about this?

c. What do Ephesians 5:8a and Colossians 3:7 say about our lives before we accepted Jesus Christ as Savior?

4. We may have been like that and lived that way before we accepted Jesus Christ, but we have been forgiven and set free, not only from the penalty, but also from the power of sin. What do you learn about this from Romans 6:14-16?

5. People may try to deceive you with empty words, saying it is okay to sin, but as you see, it is not. What does 1 John 2:1 say regarding this, and what hope is given if we do sin?

6. Personal: What is your attitude toward sin in your own life? Write out Titus 2:14. Underline what your attitude should be.

Fifth Day: Review Ephesians 5:3-14, concentrating on verses 8b-10.

1. From Ephesians 5:8b, how should we live?

2. a. What should characterize our lives? (Ephesians 5:9)

b. From the following verses, list some of the actions and attitudes that should be exhibited in our lives.

Galatians 5:22-23

Colossians 3:12-14

3. a. What should we endeavor to find out? (Ephesians 5:10)

b. What do you learn about this from Romans 12:2?

c. Challenge: From the following verses, list some of the things that please the Lord.

1 Samuel 15:22

Proverbs 15:8

Proverbs 21:3

Romans 14:15-19

1 Timothy 2:1-3

1 Peter 2:20

4. Personal: What has been most meaningful to you today? How will you apply this to your life?

Sixth Day: Review Ephesians 5:3-14, concentrating on verses 11-14.

1. a. What should be our relationship to deeds of darkness and the evil actions of the disobedient? (Ephesians 5:11a,12)

b. Instead of thinking of and speaking about shameful things, what does Philippians 4:8 tell us to do?

2. Although we are to have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, what should we do about them? (Ephesians 5:11b)

3. a. How are dark things exposed? (Ephesians 5:13-14)

b. Review Ephesians 5:8. How are we to expose the deeds of darkness?

4. What do you learn about the light from John 3:20-21?

5. Personal: We are challenged to wake up and allow God’s light to shine on us and through us. Think about your own life. How do you think others might view it? Is it shining with the light of the Lord?

Ephesians Lesson 17

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Ephesians 5:3-14 — Live as Children of Light

A college coach in a Christian school once told me of a young man in his school who said, “I’ll follow the school rules in almost everything, but nobody is going to tell me what to do with my sex life.” This attitude used to be an exception. Today it is the rule.

When I was a young man, it was called promiscuity. In the 1960s it was called “the New Morality.” By the 1990s, society had proclaimed that moral absolutes had been replaced by “moral relativism”—you have your morality, I have mine, and no one should ever judge or criticize another person’s moral (or immoral) choices. In keeping with the “nonjudgmental” mood of the times, the word promiscuous was replaced by the nonjudgmental phrase “sexually active.”

Today, living together unmarried is considered normal. Public schools teach sexual techniques in sex ed classes, take teenage girls out of class to get abortions without their parents’ knowledge, and distribute condoms to teens in the belief that, “They’re going to do it anyway.” Gone are the days when the public schools teach values, self-respect, and self-control. Promiscuous sex is a regular topic in our music and on TV sitcoms in the family hour. Sex scandals regularly rock our political institutions and even our churches and Christian ministries. Our media and our society are drenched in illicit sex. Rarely do we see sexual issues addressed in our culture from the viewpoint that sex is God’s gift to be practiced within marriage.

As we consider the sexual overload that bombards our senses, we are tempted to think we have reached unprecedented depths of cultural decay. The truth is that the present state of our society today is strikingly similar to conditions found in the first century A.D., when Paul’s letters were being written. In Romans, Paul describes the sordid and lewd society he lived in:

The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness…

Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them. (Romans 1:18,24-32)

Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? After two thousand years, these conditions are as rampant as they ever were. Paul has not written a musty document of only historical interest. Inspired by God, he has written a document of truth that blazes its way into our own century, our own society, our own hearts and lives.

Now we come to Paul’s treatment of the issue of sexual morality in Ephesians 5. Please read Ephesians 5:3-14. Paul makes it abundantly clear: Sexual immorality and Christianity do not mix. God’s intention for man is either marriage, with complete faithfulness to the partner, or total abstinence from sex. The Bible allows no third option.

Five Reasons for Shunning Immorality

Paul goes on to give us five illuminating and logically consistent reasons why sexual immorality must be shunned by those who belong to Christ. Let’s examine each of Paul’s reasons, one by one. The first reason is given in Ephesians 5:3: “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”

Reason Number 1: Sexual immorality defiles and debases our humanity.

Note the terms Paul uses: immorality, impurity, and greed. Immorality is the most commonly used term in the Bible for any kind of sexual misconduct. Impurity is literally uncleanness, and refers to anything that is filthy or obscene. The word greed refers to the lust for more of something than is actually needed.

Understand, Paul is not saying that sex is bad. He is warning against distortions and perversions of God’s gift of sex. Sex is God’s invention, His creation, His gift to us to be used wisely. The Bible makes it clear that sex within marriage is beautiful, wholesome, and approved by God.

But the Bible is equally clear that sex outside of marriage is debasing and sinful. It defiles our basic humanity. God’s prohibitions regarding sex are not designed to keep us from something good, but to enable us to enjoy the best and most wholesome sexual expression possible. So Paul calls us to honor marital sex and our own sexuality by shunning immorality.

This statement was made in a day when sexual immorality was as widely tolerated and approved as it is today. In the city of Ephesus, there was a temple to a pagan goddess, and the worship of this goddess was conducted by the means of prostitute-priests and prostitute-priestesses. The whole city accepted and applauded sordid sex acts as a form of worship, a sign of religious dedication. So the admonition of Paul regarding sexual immorality runs directly counter to the culture the Ephesian Christians lived in.

We are told today that all sex is beautiful and natural, that if we feel an itch, we should scratch it, and if we feel an urge, we should indulge it. We are told that having sex whenever, wherever, and with whomever we please is simply the way we were made, and we should do so without shame or apology. This idea that sex, all sex, any sex, is natural and beautiful is a lie.

You could think of sex as a wonderful sandwich, piled high with ham and turkey, Swiss and provolone cheese, alfalfa sprouts, lettuce, tomato, peppers, the works. Set it on a nice clean plate on a table with a checkered tablecloth, and it’s a wonderful feast. But what if you found that same sandwich out in the trash dumpster? Would you pull it out of the mounds of garbage, shoo away the flies, and begin eating? Why wouldn’t you? Because, when you take something as wonderful as that sandwich and put it in a dirty place, it becomes defiled. If you feed yourself from a trash dumpster, no matter how good the food may taste, you can expect to get sick.

Sex is wonderful, alluring, and satisfying for human needs—in its proper place. It is a feast for all the senses. But having sex outside of God’s plan for marriage is like eating a sandwich from the dumpster. It’s bound to make you sick. It may make you physically sick. It will undoubtedly sicken your relationships with the people you care about. And it will make you spiritually, morally, and emotionally sick. It will, above all, sicken your relationship with God.

It is a lie of Satan that, since the sex drive is a natural urge, it should be indulged whenever or wherever it arises. We have many natural urges, but we regulate them all. We all experience hunger and thirst—but we don’t go up to our neighbor and snatch the sandwich and soda can out of his hands and begin eating and drinking. “Hey, I was hungry and thirsty!” is no excuse for such behavior. Neither is “I had a natural urge” an excuse for taking sexual advantage of our neighbor’s husband or wife.

The sex drive is a natural urge, but it requires regulation and restraint. And the intended regulation of sex is marriage. Any other sexual expression is a violation of Christian morality and of our basic humanity as well.

Sex is obviously the most complicated of our natural urges. It requires a partner, which no other urge does. And it is not only a physical union, but an emotional union as well. In fact, the emotional union is the more significant of the two. I have counseled many couples who have experienced the physical union of marital sex, but who are emotionally separated from each other. Their lives are empty and barren as a result. Sex is a complicated process, intended to be a total union of two beings, and only in marriage is such a total union possible. As C. S. Lewis observes,

The monstrosity of sexual intercourse outside of marriage is that those who indulge in it are trying to isolate one kind of union (the physical) from all the other kinds of union which were intended to go along with it and make up the total union. The Christian attitude does not mean that there is anything wrong about sexual pleasure, any more than about the pleasure of eating. It means that you must not isolate that pleasure and try to get it by itself any more than you ought to try to get the pleasures of taste without swallowing and digesting, by chewing things and spitting them out again.⁸

It is important to note that Ephesians 5:3 is a continuation of the thought begun in verse 2. It begins with a conjunction, but, which connects it to the previous sentence. So to properly understand Paul’s thinking, his complete thought should be read as a whole:

And live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. (Ephesians 5:2-3)

The word but at the beginning of verse 3 puts everything in verse 3 in contrast to verse 2. What the apostle is saying is that any sexual immorality is a violation of Christian love. You cannot truly love another person and practice sex with that person outside of marriage. It is impossible.

We often hear the excuse that sex outside of marriage is justified as long as love is present. But Paul says that is impossible. If you really love someone, you don’t have sex with that person outside of the commitment of marriage. It is easy for a young man to tell a young woman he loves her—and it’s easy for her to believe him. But there is a saying that “true love waits,” and that is true. If a young man uses the words “I love you” as a means to get sex, he is not showing love for her—and he is certainly not showing Christian love! Rather, he is demonstrating his own selfishness. True love is concerned about another’s welfare, not one’s own urges.

Dr. Henry Brandt says, “Becoming involved sexually short-circuits the judgment, and one of the most important decisions of your life—whom you will marry—is made under pressure of disappointment, one-sided affection, or over-involvement.” This contradicts the common misconception that it is necessary to experiment with sex before marriage to make sure the marriage will work. This misconception is based on the false assumption that the physical union of sex is the central pillar of a marriage, which it is not. Moreover, it is impossible to test marriage that way because the essential conditions that make up marriage are not there.

“Testing” marriage with premarital sex is like “testing” a parachute by jumping off a ladder. A ladder doesn’t give you enough room to deploy a parachute, and a premarital affair does not give you the time to truly test the durability of a marriage. You can only prove the durability of a marriage over the long haul, by making a commitment before God, then working on fulfilling that commitment, one day at a time.

Reason Number 2: Even talk about sexual immorality is pointless and wasteful.

Paul goes on to give us another reason for the incompatibility of sexual immorality and Christianity: “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving” (Ephesians 5:4). When the apostle says “out of place,” he means inappropriate, wasteful, and pointless. In other words, the apostle is asking us: What is to be gained by such talk? What good does it do anyone to be exposed to jokes, films, magazines, or computer material of a sexually perverse nature?

Answer: Nothing is to be gained. It is pointless and wasteful. It’s a dead-end street. You never learn the true nature of sex by studying its perversions or distortions. You only learn the true nature of sex from God’s revelation. There we see what sex was intended to be from the One who created it.

Like a river, the sex drive is designed to be channeled and kept within bounds. When it breaks over its boundaries and overflows its banks, the sex drive becomes a flood that inundates the whole landscape. Soon, we are all hip-deep in a slurry of vile talk, smutty jokes, pornography, and scandals.

Eventually, those who immerse themselves in illicit sexual material find that normal sexual relations lose their attraction. They find that it gradually takes increasingly more obscene, perverse, and evil stimulation to achieve the previous level of sexual excitement. Like a drug addict, the sex addict descends into ever more vile and degrading practices the longer he practices his habit.