Informational handbook

Pimi vs. Panmi and U.S.-Korea Relations

The peace and stability of the Korean peninsula is vital to maintaining the peace and security of Northeast Asia, including Japan. For that reason among others, Korea is considered of great strategic importance to the United States. Under the 1954 Mutual Security Treaty, the United States has undertaken to help the Republic of Korea defend itself from external aggression. To carry out this commitment, the United States stations some 37,000 military personnel in Korea. To coordinate U.S. defense operations with those of the 600,000-strong Korean armed forces, the United States and Korea established a Combined Forces Command headed by the Commander of U.S. Forces, Korea.

Although most of the older generation of Koreans who lived through the Korean War retain strong friendly feelings toward the U.S., younger people feel much more ambiguous about the American role in Korea. Thus Fulbrighters may witness expression of anti-American sentiments, and, as happened in the fall of 2002, such anti-American sentiments may flare up when there are incidents or accidents involving American military personnel. Many of the Koreans who express such views make a distinction between "anti-Americanism" (panmi) and "criticism of U.S. foreign policy" (pimi). The former generally is associated with a relatively small group of younger people, mostly students. The latter, which resembles the thinking behind newspaper editorials, is criticism directed at specific American policies rather than America in general. Unlike panmi, which may be beyond the realm of rational discussion, pimi views may be well founded although you personally may not agree with them.
Though some Koreans may imply to you that pihan ("criticism of Korean policy or culture") should only be done by Koreans, in many cases you may be encouraged to engage in pihan. Just remember your own sensitivity about the fine line between pimi and panmi before engaging in pihan which may end up being perceived as panhan (“anti-Koreanism”). Furthermore, even for those of us who are Korea experts, criticism of things Korean easily crosses the line due to misunderstanding or misinformation. It's important to be honest and frank, but you should be sincere and modest as well.
At least even true "panmi," deep-rooted anti-Americanism, seldom (except when drunk on Saturday night) spills over into personal animosity against individual Americans.

Odd Tips for Good Etiquette

Koreans often pat children (sometimes rather hard) when they think they are cute. Since most Western children are considered cute to Koreans it is a wise precaution to explain this to your children so they understand that this is not a hostile act. In general people will want at least to get a close look at your child and may even cross the street for that purpose.

Summoning people or taxis is done by holding the arm out straight, palm down, and flexing the down turned palm toward yourself. Never use a crooked finger as in the U.S. Not only is this impolite, it will often not be understood. Do NOT point at people with your index finger. If you want to point at something or indicate someone, it can be indicated with a nod of the head or a thrust of the chin.
Most Korean men are used to handshaking; most Korean women are not. Thus while men shake hands with men almost universally, men almost never shake hands with women, nor women with women. The safe thing to do is to wait to see if the person you are greeting extends a hand.
When passing an object of any kind, both hands are always used (or "symbolic" both hands, using the right hand with the left hand touching the right elbow.) Passing with one hand, especially the left hand, is considered rude (remember the discussion of name cards.)
When eating Korean food, use chopsticks, spoons or even a toothpick (e.g., for eating pieces of fruit). Koreans consider handling food with bare fingers indelicate. Even sandwiches usually are wrapped in a paper napkin. Chopsticks should not be left sticking straight up in a bowl of rice – lay them together along the side of a bowl if there is no “chopstick holder” on the table. On the other hand, if you're having trouble with chopsticks and there's no fork, don't hesitate to use the spoon. Koreans use the spoon much more than Americans do, and certainly much more than the Japanese, who often don’t even give you a spoon.
Do not blow your nose at the table. Koreans consider it quite disgusting. In fact, they consider the entire idea of handkerchiefs quite disgusting. Frankly, this is sometimes a problem, as spicy foods (think kimchi) can make your nose run. At least turn your body completely away from the others in the table to give the public appearance that you know you’re doing something gross, and that you’d appreciate it if everyone would pretend that you’re not really there.
There is generally no tipping in Korea. A service charge is added to your bill at most hotels in lieu of a tip. It is not necessary to tip taxi drivers either unless they help you with your luggage or provide some extra service (though many people round off to the next thousand won.)
Everyone should memorize at least one song that you can sing in public. Being able to sing one on festive occasions or when you are out with Koreans at a karaoke place will help in establishing and strengthening relationships. A Korean song would be even better, but at least you need to be able to sing one song all the way through. Though lots of places have monitors on which the words are displayed, we recommend you write the words of “your” song on a slip of paper and memorize them.

The Final Adjustment Tip

Perhaps the most important thing you can do is remind yourself over and over again that Korea is a different place and that you, not the Koreans, will have to adjust. Furthermore, you might wonder whether Koreans are paying attention to all these little rules and relationship shadings. The answer is that yes, they most certainly are (this is a “high context” society, remember) but that they will forgive you most lapses because you are an (ignorant) foreigner. The most important strategy is simply to relax and keep all developments in perspective. The rationale for doing things in Korean ways, which at first blush may seem inefficient or even wrong may become clearer if you keep an open mind. Of course, there are always those cases when no amount of tolerance will allow you to accept certain actions or situations. But you may have to simply walk away, as you are unlikely to change Korea. It is much more likely to change you. Furthermore, Koreans differ in attitude and experience just like Americans. If certain people don't appeal to you very much, seek out someone else.

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