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422

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Sat Apr 22, 2000 6:57am

Subject: Important notice re the list
When I began this list I did not restrict it to persons using the self-help measures and I see this was a mistake. Some have joined without studying and beginning to use the self-help measures, perhaps because they thought the help would be on the list or they were looking for proof. The proof is in the scientific article. The list is for support, but unless you have studied the articles and begun to use the self-help measures, the list will not be useful to you.
If you are one of these persons,
PLEASE STUDY ALL THE ARTICLES ON MY WEB SITES.
The short version of my article is on:

http://www.home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway/depression.html and on:

http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579

The longer version, my story, and the scientific paper are on;

http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26
If you are someone who is using the techniques to help others, e.g. prison officials, therapists, persons who have recovered in other therapies, you are also welcome.
If you have joined the list and are not using the self-help, please go back and reread the articles. If you find you are not interested then I would appreciate it if you would unsubscribe.

Ellie
423



From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Sat Apr 22, 2000 7:25am

Subject: Re: Post flood diet
I wasn't intending to turn this list into a food list, but since I know post flood people will be attracted to the kind of food that best nourishes brain and body I think it is important. Your body will also reject, ie get sick, from junk food, including grains, refined sugar, bread, processed milk products, stimulants, overly cooked foods, etc. You may not get sick right away, but these will add to toxicosis, and eventually there will be detox crises, ie acute physical symptoms, like colds, digestive troubles. But the good news is that because the nervous system can do its daily job of detoxing, you should not get severely ill during these detoxes. They are all healing events. So no diet needs to be perfect. The deficiencies in plant only based diets can also cause toxicosis and lead to chronic disease.
> Ellie -- Is Coleman beef pastured? That is the only beef the co-op I shop at carries. S.
Coleman is not pastured, but has no antibiotics, etc. and I use it from time to time. Are there no Food Emporiums near you? I just tried their Argentinean pastured beef last night. You might have to find the right butcher. I asked them for pastured beef for years, but only yesterday found a butcher who understood that. It tasted a bit acidy, and I don't know if the animals had any antibiotics or other chemicals. But it may have tasted that way naturally, or because my body didn't need much of it last night, so I will keep testing it. It felt good in my tummy, and I slept normally, so I think it's going to be a good item in my diet. Here is a link to more information on pastured beef. The way to tell if it is pastured, same for if it's a wild fish, is to let it age for a few days on a rack in the refrig. If it doesn't go rancid, it's probably pastured, or wild. Animals fed grains, etc. accumulate junk and then bacteria.
file:///C|/Food/suppliersgrassfed.htm
Ellie
424

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Sat Apr 22, 2000 4:30pm

Subject: Post flood diet
I may have to retract my recommendation of the Argentina pastured beef. It has a slightly funny taste, and I wonder if the animals had any antibiotics or other chemicals. If anyone finds out please let me know. It's just not possible to find a perfect supply of nutritious food.

Ellie
425



From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Sun Apr 23, 2000 6:54am

Subject: Re: Post flood diet
> >I may have to retract my recommendation of the Argentina pastured beef. It has a slightly funny taste, and I wonder if the animals had any antibiotics or other chemicals. If anyone finds out please let me know. Ellie
> Because you mentioned an acidic Taste I am wondering if this beef is sold in a sealed plastic bag. There is 2 method now to age meat the dry and the wet way...one is the old one hanging in a fridge the whole carcass for 10 days to 3 weeks, the other is to cut it right away and let them age inside this sealed package in which they are going to be sold (I don't know for how long (there is a website somewhere about those 2 method of aging.) the last method give that funny acidic taste but if I open the bag and hang the piece it can become very good in my experience. Coco
Thanks so much. Yes, the Argentina beef was in a plastic bag, hence its acid taste. Do you know, if people use any antibiotics, how they are given. Are the given orally or by injection? If given orally in their food, I doubt if these Argentina animals were given it. Ellie
> I am trying timidly redirecting and it is very difficult when triggered with anger to redirect, a big part of me wants to be mad at the person triggering. Being mad at my parents living thousand miles away across the ocean seem not very real. I don't have that much opportunity to physically act out my anger on mattress or even in the wood because of the presence around me of my 3 years old son. Coco
Please keep trying to redirect to your parents. They may be thousands of miles away, but their voices are still in your head. It's OK to feel angry at the person triggering too. The anger is a mix of anger at the current person and at ALL past abusers, especially your parents. If the anger is intense and out of proportion to the incident, most of it needs to be redirected mentally to past abusers. If you can't physically act out because your son is nearby, do it quietly in your mind by talking to your parents, but not out loud. Tell them 'shut up!', 'get out of my head' or 'it's your fault I have problems' or just curse at them.. f..u prayers....but get the anger mentally directed to them. This is very important.

Ellie
426



From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Sun Apr 23, 2000 8:05am

Subject: Easter Day
I'm so glad holy week is over. I read about some Filipino Christians who nailed themselves to a cross. Sounds like anger turned inward to me.
I hope if you celebrate today it is to celebrate the resurrection of your own spirit and the God within you.
Ellie
427

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Sun Apr 23, 2000 0:20pm

Subject: Welcome
> Hello,

> Thank you for your fast response. I have read the articles you have sent. I have been in therapy for many years and groups also. I found the articles very interesting. As a matter of fact the part on directing your anger where it belongs has really stuck out for me. It actually brought tears to my eyes. As long as I have been in individual and groups NEVER has anyone brought to my attention what you just have. The hitting of the bed to direct the anger at the person that for years has deserved it. (not everyone else) How anger can be the underlying problem of it all.

>

> I have just finished my second round of meds....I am planning to get pregnant again this summer and wanted to get the meds out of my system. With what I have read I think I will have alot to help me with. Thank you. I will keep in touch. Cathie


Dear Cathie,

I'm delighted to hear you identify. That you are ready to do this brings a tear to my eye, because I know it will help.


Please take your time and read the Archives from the beginning, as I try not to repeat too much on the list. You might want to print out the pamphlet version from the pdf files to keep rereading. It should answer any questions that come up. Lynn, whose story you may have read in the Testimonials, was unable to hold a pregnancy. But when she used the self-help measures for a few months her nervous system cleared, probably restored some hormonal balances, and she got pregnant. Her new baby is due anyday! It is good you are starting now before summer, and can get off the meds. Let me know how it goes.

Ellie


>

428

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Mon Apr 24, 2000 4:31am

Subject: Good emotions
Dear Ellie,

I think I am still in the grief stage, Ellie which really doesn't bother me in the least. I don't mind having access to my emotions and I welcome them. I find I am not embarrassed any more about crying anywhere and think of my emotions and others as normal and good. I still have some old anger but I am more aware of the source now and I think there are some issues that will probably be around for awhile. These are the same issues I find myself grieving over the most. Unfortunately I still have intestinal trouble. Wish I could report a cure. I am going to try a different diet for awhile and see if it helps. Love Carol


I'm so happy for you that you are free of the past. I too found the grief didn't bother me and it gets better and better. My tears are pretty much gone...an occasional tear of identification with others...and when I have anger it's easily resolved. I'm sure it will be easier to make some diet changes to help with the intestinal trouble.

Ellie
429



From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Mon Apr 24, 2000 5:00am

Subject: Asking for what we need and deserve
It is an old fear of mine that translates in a mantra in my head that says...I don't need anything or anybody...I am starting to be conscious that I manifested this a lot and it is at the source of my immobilizations, I am depriving myself of very good things that way. As I am becoming aware of that I allow my anger to comes to the surface and there, it is easy for me to redirect because I know where it comes from. It is a decision that I took when around 2 years old I have the impression (my sister got born unexpectedly at that age)). That decision said something like that: IF it is all what I am getting I will rather not ask anymore, and not need anymore. I hate my mother for stopping to be there for me at that time and pushed her away. She tried all the way along my childhood after that to reconnect (because I have been her favor child among 6) and I got split between my deep unconscious desire to do so and another deep desire to have my anger about her not being there. I am starting to see that they can go together. Being angry at my mother for keeping me away from her can help me to reconnect with my true need: feeling connected to my world. I can see how it is keeping me from wanting to be functional economically. I justified by judging harshly the economic system and wanted to by pass it..this deep split in me got to be played again 3 years ago .. I repressed one more time my desires, went back to the physiological state of 18 years ago before diagnosis of addison disease, stayed 2 month in bed, even lost the desire to eat properly ... Too bad that I didn't know about redirecting at that time. Since then it feels once again that I can't get what I want when I innocently want it, expecting that it will be given so I tell myself what is the point to want anything. Everything becomes tiring even getting my anger out seems an useless effort. Anyway I try to be mad at my mother for being at the source of all this mess and YES I want to break the pattern. Coco
This is such good news to hear. I identify so much with not asking or expecting good things for my self. I was so afraid of bothering my father in his office at home...I was never allowed to disturb him or ask for anything...and I spent my life going into stores to buy something and saying..."Excuse me for bothering you"... how sad that I didn't have the right to say what I need from others. Keep redirecting to them...get the anger out even if it tires you. The exhaustion will all go away eventually. The more you redirect the easier it will be to ask for and expect what you need and deserve.

Ellie
430



From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Mon Apr 24, 2000 5:50am

Subject: Post flood diets
Here is a good source of healthy food from a friend who eats Instinctively.
"We are dedicated to producing high quality dry foods (fruits, nuts and meats). All products are organically grown at least and when produced by our farm beyond the organic criteria's (not even organics, fertilizers, pesticides or irrigation). They are all dried at low temperature to keep their enzymes alive but dormant by desiccation. There is no denaturation of any kind done on the food, no seasoning. The animals are wild (salmon or shrimps) or raised with their original diet (grass for herbivorous). Now I have grass fed beef dried below 100 Fahrenheit from highland cattle, an old breed that looks like a prehistoric animal (long hair, long horns, and very lean.) In July I will have salmon, in the fall nuts and dried fruits, shrimps and still salmon. In May I will have chickens. I beat my junk foods craving by carrying always some of my dry foods on me. There is nothing like chewing on a piece of jerky for the sugar craving to fade away. For more information e-mail jean-claude at

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/depression-cause-cure/post?protectID=210071066165082116025057203219147130018222131136053123241150166091061

or write to: Jean-claude Catry, 115 Forest Ridge Road, Saltspring Island BC, v8k1w4 CANADA."
431

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Mon Apr 24, 2000 5:55am

Subject: Re: Easter Day
Re: I hope if you celebrate today it is to celebrate the resurrection of your own spirit and the God within you.
Right On Ellie,

This is so Right On! I celebrate my Spirit and the God Within!!!

Doris
Hooray!

Ellie
432



From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Wed Apr 26, 2000 9:09pm

Subject: Traveling
Yes... I got your message and you answered all my concerns and clarified many things I was confused about. Yes, I have begun but I am going overseas for four months and wonder if I should delay until I return or just continue. I suppose it doesn't really matter where I am. It's only mental work I need to do. Right? I will keep in touch while I am away and keep you informed of my progress. Maria
Dear Maria,

Yes you will want to continue. Please print out the article as a pamphlet from the pdf files, and keep re-reading it. Remember, this is a periodic detox process that is going on all the time, whether you are aware of it or not. Your only job is to recognize the periodic detox crises, which are excitatory nervous symptoms, and to see these as triggers that anger wants to get out and needs to be mentally redirected to all past abusers. The more you can do it (and if possible get to a bed and pound on it, if not just do it mentally in your mind) the faster you will recover. Don't worry if you can't do this every time you have symptoms. You will get new opportunities. Keep reading so you will know that you may have increased depression after a detox crisis, and also symptoms, headaches, fever, etc. depending on how much effort you put into it. If you have access to the Internet please read the Archives for support. Let me know from time to time how it goes.

Ellie
433

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Wed Apr 26, 2000 11:28pm

Subject: Post flood food
I write for a food newsletter and thought you might be interested in this about the need for good fat in our diets.
#49 M2M Letter from Ellie Van Winkle
Dear M2M,

Bob asked me to share some information on fat metabolism from physiology, so here are some thoughts on the need for more fat in our diets. He also asked me how much fat I eat each day. I eat Instinctively, i.e. if fat tastes delicious then I know my body needs it, so I can't really say I eat a certain amount each day. A problem with SAD diets has been the increased toxins in cooked foods, especially the carcinogenic effects of cooked fat, animal and vegetable. We all know cooking converts nutrients into non-nutrients.


We are neither carnivore nor herbivore, but omnivore. I repeat that the Aajonus Vonderplanitz' results with remission from cancer using hi raw animal fat diets are statistically valid. He did not make this up. The reason many of his clients eventually died is that they were unable to stay with the diet because of their food addictions, i.e. addiction to carbohydrates. Of course it is too soon for statistics with Instinctive Eaters, who eat animal fat--there are not that many of us--but the evidence is beginning to mount. I tried eating a dozen raw egg yolks and then had my cholesterol checked. It was normal. In fact since I did the emotional detox to clear out my brain and nervous system as described in my article, The Biology of Emotions, my sympathetic nervous system can do its daily job of detoxing and I seldom get sick. The nervous system controls digestion and just about every function of the body. And because the toxicosis in my hypothalamus is gone, the pituitary gland can regulate the various hormonal balances. Many previously abnormal blood tests for me, such as that indicating hypothyroidism, and are now normal. That condition was neurogenic. Best of all, my food addiction to carbohydrates is gone.
The synaptic connections in the brain are mostly fat and this tissue is sadly depleted in low fat diets. There are many published studies by David Horrobin and others on the improvement of emotional balance and brain function with diets that incorporate more fat. In low fat diets people generally overeat carbohydrates to get energy and we all know the trouble this causes. Furthermore, the body can more efficiently store energy as fat and prefers to convert excess carbohydrates to fat rather than store energy as glycogen.
From Guyton, Textbook of Medical Physiology 5th ed. p. 922. "Almost all cells, with the notable exception of brain tissue, can use fatty acids almost interchangeably with glucose for energy. Fat synthesis from carbohydrates is especially important for two reasons: 1) The ability of the different cells of the body to store carbohydrates in the form of glycogen is generally slight: only a few hundred grams of glycogen are stored in the liver, the skeletal muscles, and all other tissues of the body put together. Therefore, fat synthesis provides a means by which the energy of excess ingested carbohydrates (and proteins, too) can be stored for later use. Indeed, the average person has about 200 times as much energy stored in the form of fat as stored in the form of carbohydrate. Each gram of fat contains approximately 2-1/2 as many calories of energy as each gram of glycogen. Therefore, for a given weight gain a person can store more energy in the form of fat than in the form of carbohydrate."
The point here is that while we of course need carbohydrates, energy is more efficiently stored as fat than as glycogen, and we need to incorporate more fat in our diet than can be obtained on plant based diets.
Food Emporiums now sell Argentina beef from pastured animals. I eat this raw, and meat from pastured animals has been shown not to accumulate bacteria. Bacteria feed on junk, not on healthy tissues. Here is another good source of beef as beef jerky.
"We are dedicated to producing high quality dry foods (fruits, nuts and meats). All products are organically grown at least and when produced by our farm beyond the organic criteria's (not even organics, fertilizers, pesticides or irrigation). They are all dried at low temperature to keep their enzymes alive but dormant by desiccation. There is no denaturation of any kind done on the food, no seasoning. The animals are wild (salmon or shrimps) or raised with their original diet (grass for herbivorous). Now I have grass fed beef dried below 100 Fahrenheit from highland cattle, an old breed that looks like a prehistoric animal (long hair, long horns, and very lean.) In July I will have salmon, in the fall nuts and dried fruits, shrimps and still salmon. In May I will have chickens. I beat my junk foods craving by carrying always some of my dry foods on me. There is nothing like chewing on a piece of jerky for the sugar craving to fade away. For more information e-mail jean-claude at

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/depression-cause-cure/post?protectID=210071066165082116025057203219147130018222131136053123241150166091061

or write to: Jean-claude Catry, 115 Forest Ridge Road, Saltspring Island BC, v8k1w4 CANADA."
Ellie
434

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Thu Apr 27, 2000 9:39pm

Subject: Unresolved anger from the past
Hi Ellie:

> Thanks for writing to me. I did read the articles. They really fascinated me because I know that the anger I feel for seemingly small things is unexpressed & unresolved anger from the past, but I wasn't sure how to get rid of it. I found it interesting to read that if I refocus the misplaced anger on the people that I am really angry at, maybe I can finally find some peace. I was thinking of either using the punching bag that we have in our basement or journaling, writing when I feel the misplaced anger and maybe I can get to the root of my anger. I have to say that I am better than I use to be but I feel stuck on a couple of issues. I don't know if this is the right list for me but the name of the list attracted me and the articles and real life stories really hit home with me. Betty


Dear Betty,

I'm delighted to hear you identify, and yes this sounds like the right place for you. You should get a Welcome message. The list is for support, please read the Archives at your leisure starting from the earliest date. I try not to post too often so as not to be repetitious. Print out a copy of the pamphlet if you can from the pdf files to refer to. You don't have to remember specific childhood trauma, (memories may return later) but try to redirect anger mostly to your parents, as that is where it all began. The punching bag is great, journaling too, but if you can do the pounding, on a bed or on the bag, it will get more anger out during each periodic detox crisis. If you can't get near the bed or bag or are around people, try to quietly in your mind get mad at all past abusers. Your parent's voices are still in your head. Tell them to shut up. Let me know from time to time how it goes.



Ellie

--

435



From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Fri Apr 28, 2000 10:42pm

Subject: 'Symbol of my chains'
> Thanks Ellie, you did a lot. You sure stretch my own self-inflicted limitations. It shows me that being post flood could get me out of my immobilization. Coco
My self esteem came back little by little, but yes, it comes back and gives us power to do what we are meant to do, to thrive and have all the fruits of the earth that we deserve. I found that I was 'nudged' periodically, and still am, to use my natural talents. Ellie
> I went to a play back theater tonight and the actors played the story that I presented to them. The story of me as a little kids being kept inside the house very much constrained by the adults of my family, not allowed to be free. And there I was looking with awe the gypsies with their horses who came to visit our village, the children of my age (5 or 6 years old) running free half naked bare feet years went by and became a very obedient nicely smiling child. At age 20 I had a dream of being with a gypsy women, inside a gypsy wagon pulled by horses. 3 years after I met that woman and together we started to build that wagon it took 7 years of inner struggle between my rage to live my dream and the limitations immobilizations learned from my parents. After 7 years my partner of the time decided to break free from the relationship and I end up to the same place that I was trying to escape thru that construction of my dream: I made true the sentence often heard from my father: He start everything and doesn't finish anything. That wagon is still in France waiting for me to decide what to do with it, almost finish but not completely. Anyway the acting out of my stories by actors made me laugh a lot. Suddenly I was seeing myself being manipulated by an interiorised voice. The voice of my parents. No matter how hard I was trying to break free from them, they were always there. The wagon is at the same time the symbol of the winning of my freedom and the symbol of my chains (this wagon is now an heavy boulet that I carry behind me, it is the only thing of value for me left in France. Laughing about the ridiculousness of this self-limitation of listening to voices internalised at a very young age, somehow seems to be a release. Do you think of laughter as a way to clear the neurons if directed to the perpetuators of the farce that I am acting out, all along my life? Coco
I love your story, and yes, laughing is a great way to release... be sure not to laugh at the ridiculousness of your own self limitation, that you listened to them.... laugh AT those 'voices internalized' ie your parents. I used to love slap stick, when someone like an adult in authority tripped on a banana peel, and now I know why, probably unconsciously wished it was my parents. I wonder if the lady you met was a substitute mother for you (she abandoned you) and the wagon another prison like your early house...a 'symbol of my chains' a place for you to re-enact being imprisoned in your house. For me I dreamed of being in mental hospitals, where the locked rooms became places I unconsciously re-enacted the early trauma of being imprisoned in my crib. When you are post flood, I'll bet you won't think of that wagon as having any value.
Ellie, no longer the 'very obedient nicely smiling child'
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