(kurtzern at umich.edu)
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++++Message 3834. . . . . . . . . . . . RE: The reading of "How it Works" at
the beginning of meetings
From: Robert Stonebraker . . . . . . . . . . . . 11/1/2006 9:04:00 PM
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Greg asked: "2nd question: I recently heard a story of a recovered
brother sending a Big Book to a non-alcoholic sister
who helped organize a meeting in LA. Does anyone
know anything about this story?"
This is a long answer from a 2002 AA HISTORY LOVERS post by . Nancy O.
Bob S. from Indiana
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Subject: [AAHistoryLovers] Sybil C., first Woman in AA West of the
Mississippi
From: NM Olson
Sybil C. was the first woman to enter AA west of the Mississippi. Her date
of sobriety was March 23, 1941. Her name at the time was Sybil Maxwell,
though she later opened her talks by saying, "My name is Sybil Doris
Adams
Stratton Hart Maxwell Willis C., and I'm an alcoholic."
She was born Sybil Doris Adams on May 20, 1908, in the small oil town of
Simians, Texas. Her parents were poor but hardworking and she had a brother
Herman, ten years her senior. Herman was called "Tex." Sybil
adored her
big brother. She remembered that when she was five and he fifteen, he would
hold her and rock her to sleep.
Tex joined the Army during World War I was reported missing in action, and
when the family heard nothing further they assumed he was dead. However,
when Sybil was thirteen they learned that he was alive and living in Los
Angeles. The family immediately moved to California.
Sybil felt like a misfit in Los Angeles. She affected the flapper makeup
popular at the time: heavy white powder on her face, and two big red spots
of rouge on her cheeks and lots of lipstick and black eyebrows.
"I must have looked like a circus freak or something like that,"
she wailed.
"I was in eighth grade out there in Los Angeles, and the other kids
laughed
at me. I had trouble making friends, being shy and timid by nature, but
also my papa wouldn't let boys even walk home with me, let alone go to
parties. I just wasn't allowed to do anything, and I knew I didn't belong
anywhere.
"So naturally I started drinking at a very early age, against my better
judgment, full of shame and remorse because of Papa's teachings. He was a
good man. When I was fifteen, I got drunk one night, passed out, and had to
be carried home and put to bed in my mother's bed. I cried the next day and
promised that it would never happen again -- and I meant it. But I didn't
know myself, I didn't know the disease of alcoholism. The next Saturday
night the kids handed me a bottle and I drank it. And I continued to do
that through a couple of semesters of high school, and I stayed drunk
through seventeen years of failed marriages and more jobs than I can
count."
Sybil dropped out of high school and took a secretarial course and was hired
as a secretary. It was the first in along list of jobs. At various times
she was a real estate broker, a taxi driver, a bootlegger, an itinerant farm
worker, the editor of a magazine for pet owners, and a salesperson. 'I
didn't mind working," she said, "but I never seemed to get
anywhere. I was
just on a treadmill because of booze."
She had a child by her first husband, a sailor. She thought having the
child would prevent her drinking, but she drank more than ever, and her
parents eventually took the child from her.
She and her husband hitchhiked out of town to find grape picking jobs. They
thought getting away from their city friends would help them quit drinking,
but she soon was drunk again. During one of her drunks she heard music. At
first she thought she was hallucinating, but she followed the sound and
wandered into a tent where a revival meeting was in progress. The preacher
asked for anyone to come forward who wanted to be saved. "Well, that
was
me," Sybil told AA members. "I went all the way down while the
people were
singing. The preacher put his hand out and placed it on my head, and I
threw up all over him. It was so terrible! I was so ashamed, I couldn't
bring myself to tell anyone about it until I got into Alcoholics Anonymous
eleven years later."
She left her sailor husband and hitchhiked back to Los Angeles to her
mother's house. Her brother, Tex, now had a speakeasy on skid row, and to
make money to take to her mother to support the child, she went into the
bootlegging business with him. Eventually the speakeasy was raided and they
were out of business. Then she went to work in a taxi-dance hall.
Little is known of her second husband, but she met her third husband, Dick
Maxwell, while working in the taxi-dance hall. One night a rich, handsome
stranger walked in and bought dance tickets with Sybil for the whole night.
During intermission he bought several pitchers of beer (the girls got a
dollar for every pitcher their partner bought), and she told him her sad
story. He offered to marry her and adopt her child if she would promise not
to drink any more.
Now she had a wonderful husband, a home, a housekeeper, and a car. But she
couldn't stop drinking.
In 1939, while visiting her mother, she read the Liberty magazine article
called "Alcoholics and God." She thought the story fascinating but
did
nothing about it and her downward spiral continued.
Eighteen months later God gave her another chance, when she read the
Saturday Evening Post's March 1, 1941, issue which contained the famous Jack
Alexander article about AA She wrote to New York and received a reply from
Ruth Hock, then Bill Wilson's secretary, who told her that there were no
women members in California, but that Marty Mann was sober in New York.
Ruth referred her to the small group of men then in the area.
On Friday, March 23, Sybil's nonalcoholic husband, Dick Maxwell, drove her
to the meeting. They found ten or twelve men seated around a table and
three or four women seated against the wall. When the chairman began the
meeting he announced "As is our custom before the regular meeting
starts, we
have to ask the women to leave." Sybil left with the other women but
her
husband stayed and the members assumed he was the alcoholic. When he
rejoined Sybil he said "They don't know you're alive. They just went on
and
on bragging about their drinking until I was about to walk out, when they
jumped up and said the Lord's Prayer, and here I am." Sybil headed for
the
nearest bar and got drunk.
But she remembered the Ruth Hock had written, "If you need help, call
Cliff
W." and had given her his phone number. He explained: " You didn't
tell us
you were an alcoholic. We thought you were one of the wives. If you had
identified yourself as an alcoholic, you would have been welcome as the
flowers in May."
When she returned the following week, Frank R. brought in a large carton
full of letters bundled into bunches of twenty to fifty. He explained that
they were all inquiries and calls for help from people in southern
California. "Here they are! Here they are! If any of you jokers have
been
sober over fifteen minutes, come on up here and get these letters. We've
got to get as many of these drunks as we can in here by next Friday, or they
may die."
The last bundle was of letters from women. Frank said: "Sybil Maxwell,
come
on up. I am going to put you in charge of all the women."
Sybil liked the idea of "being in charge" but replied "I
can't, sir. You
said I have to make all those calls by next Friday, or somebody might die.
Well, I'll be drunk by next Friday unless you have some magic that will
change everything so I can stay sober."
Frank explained that everything she needed to know was in the Big Book.
"And it says right in here that when all other measures fail, working
with
another alcoholic will save the day. That's what you will be doing, Sybil,
working with other alcoholics. You just get in your car and take your mind
off yourself. Think about someone sicker than you are. Go see her and hand
her the letter she wrote, and say: 'I wrote one like this last week, and
they answered mine and told me to come and see you. If you have a drinking
problem like I have, and if you want to get sober as bad as I do, you come
with me and we'll find out together how to do it.' Don't add another word
to that, because you don't know anything yet. Just go get 'em."
It worked, and she never had another drink.
When Bill and Lois Wilson made their first visit to Los Angeles in 1943,
Sybil was one of the delegation of local AA's who met them at the Town House
hotel. Later she met Marty Mann.
But Dick Maxwell began to feel abandoned and lonely. He urged her to cut
down on her AA activities so that they could have more of a home life. He
had grown to hate AA and refused to read the Big Book or discuss the Twelve
Steps. Finally he suggested that the solution to their marriage problems
was for her to go back to drinking and he would take care of her.
Sybil quickly packed a bag and left. She left her lovely home and rented a
housekeeping room with a gas hotplate and a bath down the hall for nine
dollars a week and went to work for the L.A. Times to support herself.
"AA
just had to come first with me," she explained.
Her brother, Tex, joined the week after she did. He started the second AA
group in the area, and appointed Sybil coffeemaker and greeter for the new
group, and finally made her deliver her first shaky talk.
When Tex died in 1952, Sybil was devastated. She wrote Bill Wilson, pouring
out her grief and asked "What am I going to do, Bill? I don't crave a
drink, but I think I'm going to die unless I get some answers." She
said
Bill's answer saved her life. He wrote:
November 6, 1952
My dear Sybil,
Thanks for your letter of October 21st - it was just about the most stirring
thing I have read in many a day. The real test of our way of life is how it
works when the chips are down. Though I've sometimes seen AAs make rather a
mess of living, I've never seen a sober one make a bad job of dying.
But the account you give me of Tex's last days is something I shall treasure
always. I hope I can do half as well when my time comes. I am one who
believes that in my Father's house are many mansions. If that were not so
there couldn't be any justice. I can almost see Tex sitting on the front
porch of one, right now, talking in the sunlight with others of God's ladies
and gentlemen who have gone on before. I certainly agree with you that
little was left in Tex's grave. All he had was left behind in the hearts of
the rest of us and he carried just that same amount forward to where he is
now. If you like what I've said, please read it to the Huntington Park
Group. In any case, congratulate them for me that they had the privilege of
knowing a guy like Tex.
As for you, my dear, there is no need to give you advice. How well you
understand that the demonstration is the thing, after all. It isn't so much
a question of whether we have a good time or a bad time. The only thing
that will be asked is what we do with the experience we have. That you are
doing well with our tough lot is something for which I and many others are
bound to be grateful. This is but a long day in school. Some of the
lessons are hard and others are easy. I know you will keep on learning and
passing what you learned. What more does one person need to know about
another!
Affectionately yours,
/s/ Bill
WGW/nw
Sybil Willis
2874A Randolph
Huntington Park, California
The letter touched Sybil so deeply she gave many copies to people who were
at a low point in life, and a few years ago someone I met at an on-line
meeting sent a copy to me.
At the time of the letter, she was married to Jim Willis, the founder of
Gamblers' Anonymous.
Sybil is perhaps best remembered as the first executive secretary of the Los
Angeles Central office of AA, a position she held for twelve years. This
was a turbulent time for AA, with much disunity and controversy within the
groups that led to the Twelve Traditions. Sybil remembered that the groups
regarded them either with opposition or indifference and the Central Office
couldn't sell many copies of the Traditions pamphlet.
Understandably, since Sybil began doing Twelfth Step work immediately, she
took a dim view of the rigidity that crept into the requirements. Some
areas required six months or even a year or sobriety before one was allowed
to call on new prospects. She advised "If you don't get prospects from
the
Central Office, look around the meeting rooms. There is always the
forgotten man or woman, nervous and scared, who would love to have you come
up and shake hands. Just feel what the new person is feeling. It kept me
sober, it kept my brother Tex sober, and it will keep you sober when all
other measures fail."
Her fifth and enduring marriage was to another AA member, Bob C. He has
been described a "a high-spirited, warm, and loving man, fourteen years
her
junior in age and twenty-two years her junior in sobriety."
"Bob and I are very happy," Sybil declared. "This has been
the best years
of my life." They were both enthusiastic meeting-goers and enjoyed an
incredibly wide circle of AA friends.
Sybil was honored at the International AA Convention in Montreal in 1985.
She was then the longest-sober living woman in AA. When she was introduced
to the 50,000 attendees from fifty-three countries, she told the colorful
story of AA's beginning in Los Angeles, in which she had played such a vital
role. When she finished her talk audience rose to its feet as one and gave
her a standing ovation which continued so long that some thought it would
never stop.
According to one source, Sybil died about 1999.
Sources:
"Women Pioneers in 12 Step Recovery," by Charlotte Hunter, Billye
Jones,
Joan Zieger.
"Gratefull to Have Been There," by Nell Wing.
Various tapes of Sybil's talks
___
.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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++++Message 3835. . . . . . . . . . . . An online Varieties of Religious
Experience group?
From: Glenn Chesnut . . . . . . . . . . . . 11/2/2006 2:35:00 PM
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Robyn Mitchell just wrote in (I give her email below),
and it struck me that there might be people in the
group who were interested in forming a Varieties of
Religious Experience web group (you can do it free
through Yahoo), or who would at least be interested
in exchanging emails with Robyn on this subject.
And I hope that anybody who would like to point
out specific ideas that Bill W. got from William
James' book would send something in to the group.
But if you just want to talk to Robyn personally,
since the Yahoo system does not have a button for
forwarding messages, please send your email directly
to her at:
robyn mitchell
(dollyleggs1 at bigpond.com)
Glenn C., Moderator
____________________________
ROBYN'S MESSAGE:
From: robyn mitchell
(dollyleggs1 at bigpond.com)
Date: Sun Oct 29, 2006 9:52 am
Subject: Re: [AAHistoryLovers] Science of Mind,
New Thought, and AA
I'm also reading 'Varieties' for the first time!
Yesterday I mused about the probability of finding
someone else who would be reading the book at the
same time, I guessed that at least one of you guys
would have read it recently, but didn't expect a
reply to unsent mail so soon.
The idea that Bill was reading this a few days off
the booze enhances my experience of the text; and yes,
there are several ideas that I recognise from the
Big Book and a few of those are not Jamesian but are
quotes/references he uses to illustrate his ideas, so
it widens the circle of reading even further for me!
thanks,
Robyn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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++++Message 3836. . . . . . . . . . . . RE: The reading of "How it Works" at
the beginning of meetings
From: Robert Stonebraker . . . . . . . . . . . . 11/1/2006 8:55:00 PM
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Los Angeles in 1940, see AA Comes of Age, p. 93
--- from Bob S., tom2cor134@yahoo.com>, James R.,
and Debbie U.
Greg asked: " Can someone point me in the right
direction as to the origin of the custom (at least
for some groups) of reading "How It Works" at the
beginning of meetings.
From: "Robert Stonebraker"
(rstonebraker212 at insightbb.com)
Please read page 93 of AA COMES OF AGE. The year
seems to be 1940 and a member named Mort J. insisted
on reading Chapter 5 at the start of every session.
This took place at the Cecil Hotel in downtown
Los Angeles. I think that hotel was on Hill Street
or perhaps Broadway (Near Pershing Sq. Park). It
is probably torn down now, but it was still there
in the 1960s.
Bob S., Indiana
___________________________
ALSO FROM:
"Tom" (tom2cor134 at yahoo.com)
James R (jamesoddname at yahoo.com)
"Debi Ubernosky" (dkuber1990 at
verizon.net)
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++++Message 3837. . . . . . . . . . . . RE: Required reading of the Preamble
From: Bill Lash . . . . . . . . . . . . 11/2/2006 9:07:00 AM
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From Bill Lash, John Lee, Mark Everett, Tracy Flynn,
Mike S., and Debi Ubernosky
- - -
From: Bill Lash
(barefootbill at optonline.net)
Just so you know, the Preamble is NOT Conference
Approved Literature, it is written and copyrighted
by the AA Grapevine. Also, it is DEFINITELY NOT
required to be read at every sanctioned group.
Namaste.
Just Love,
Barefoot Bill
- - -
-----Original Message-----
Message #3826 from "earlynomad"
(psycoweirdo at aol.com)
Is it required that the Preamble be read at every
sanctioned group, and if so, is there only one
version that can be read at the group?
My group is looking at changing the wording of the
preamble and I am against it. I would like to know
if there is something according to AAWS that the
wording of the preamble must be of a particular
nature.
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