"Let’s Fix The Kids!" A parenting Resource Manual by
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The Data GRAPH Instructions/Example This graph is used to record information (data) off the Data Card. 1. Write in the name of the child. 2. State behavior in specific behavioral terms: “Noncompliances to parent requests: does not come when called or do what is re quested of him.” 3. Estimate the maximum high rate of occurrence you can proba bly expect in the be havior. In our ex ample Johnny’s rate hit a high of 5.5 noncompliances per hour. So the chart will go from 0 to a little more than maximum of 5.5. to about 6.5 or 7. 4. Enter the data from the Data Card for the days that were ob serva tion and report ing days, finding the graph coordinate for each rate and day. Connect the dots. 5. For days you can use M, T, W for days of the week, or 1, 2, 3, 4 for the days of the pro gram, or days 23, 24, 25, for the day of the month you are in , such as December, May, etc. In our graph we are using the days of the program and days of the week. We did not care to record whether it was Dec 6, 7, 8, etc. In this example observations and data are collected the first 5 days to form the data base. 6. The behavior modification program can begin any time after a data base of two or more days is established. In our example behavioral modification techniques are begun on day six. Mark a heavy line on the last day of your data base (day 5 in our example). That is the last day before the behavior modification techniques begin. Example: Parents ex plain they are going to help Johnny com ply more so that he can have more privileges, act older, and be hap pier (whatever is appropriate). They ex plain that: A. For compliance: rewards. When he is asked or told to do something and re sponds in a timely manner (as soon as possi ble), he will get an immediate reward such as a token or money that can be used for treats, new toys, whatever his "hot buttons" are (he can help decide.) He is rein forced 100% of the time at first. Later he will be intermittently re warded and finally the re wards fade out, but not for a time. (You can use a Star Chart for recording compliant behaviors. Every 3 stars =1 prize or whatever you decide is appropriate.) B. For noncompliance: loss of rewards plus punishment. When he is asked to do some thing and does not comply, he will immediately (every time) be put in Time Out for 3-5 min utes (age ap propri ate time penalties). When the timer (portable wind up kitchen timer) goes off he can come out. 7. During Day 6-16, Mom and Dad continue to record the noncompliance data on the Data Card while also giving tokens or points or stars for compliance (or whatever has been agreed to). Every time Johnny complies he gets plenty of reinforcement: A. Social praise, recognition, appreciation. B. Stars, points and/or money (these soon become reinforcing themselves). C. Privileges, candy, or whatever his points earned him (his “Hot Button” items). 8. Notice days 6, 7, & 8; some times behav ior gets worse be fore it gets bet ter. Some kids really test the sys tem. Eventually the be havior de creases. 9. No tice days 14 and 15; this is called a “spike” or “spontaneous recovery”. It is normal for kids to test the sys tem severely once in a while. When that happens it is vi tal for parents to real ize they are be ing tested and they must not abandon the pro gram, or kids learn that resis tance to the pro gram pays off. Realize that spon ta neous recovery (testing the sys tem) is normal and prepare for it! Weather the storm and follow the program! Remember: Positive reinforcement is more effective if punishers are also used in the program and judiciously applied when noncompliances occur. We suggest Time Out also be used for noncompliance. If the reinforcer is extremely desirable and the punisher is very undesirable, the child will quickly move to obtain the reinforcer and to avoid any pain or displeasure. Significant reduction in the target behavior is our goal; we can't expect perfection. Extinguishing A Problem Behavior Here is a short example story to explain how to use this form. Note: Usually, squabbling children should be ignored, but for the sake of our example mother feels an intervention is necessary. 1. Identify Problem Behavior: Mother is frustrated: Johnny (age 5) continues to pick on his little brother (age 4), take his toys and make him cry. She lists the specific maladaptive behavior in behavioral terms. 2. Identify the Payoffs: Mother sits for a few minutes and reflects upon the situation. She asks herself, “What are the possible reasons Johnny is acting this way? What are the payoffs? He wouldn’t do it if it were unprofitable behavior.” She lists the 3 probable “payoffs” for hitting and taking the toys. See the example. 3. Plan Strategy to Extinguish Problem Behavior: A. Eliminate the payoffs. Mother decides to remove the payoffs for hitting and taking the toys. The toy was one of the payoffs so she takes away the toy. Attention was another payoff, so she will act without giving any verbal recognition, not even scolding, no eye contact or facial expressions. Without anger she will pick him up and put him in time out, which also denies him power over his brother. She will have successfully taken away the payoffs: 1) the toy, 2) attention, and 3) the ability to have power over his brother. B. Shape alternative desirable behavior. When Johnny comes out of time out, mother will set up a contract to reward him for cooperating and playing nicely with his brother. She will use a Star Chart and will give Johnny tokens (or points) for every hour he plays nicely and helps his little brother. C. Punish as necessary. If Johnny hits his brother again, he will lose points for not playing nicely, plus mother will introduce some punishment, such as: Time Out, a fine, a spanking, the loss of dessert, supper or TV, no playing with friends or going outside, etc. ************************************************** NOTE: Up to this point mother has only been planning. Now she is ready to discuss and to implement! ************************************************** 4. Parent/Child Conference: Mother sits down with Johnny and: A. Discusses the problem with him and gets his input regarding the possible solutions and consequences. B. After the discussion with Johnny mother modifies the plan if necessary; and then she will C. Explains the finalized plan to Johnny. 1. She explains the rules and limits which are no hitting or quarreling. 2. She explains the rewards for honoring the alternative behavior contract (3: B, above) and then she explains the punishments for continued hitting and quarreling. She asks Johnny if he understands all the conditions. He says he does.
Mother wants Johnny to clean his room every morning before school. This includes: picking up his clothes, making his bed and keeping his dresser uncluttered. Johnny is 14 and knows how to make a bed but he just won’t do it! Our example will focus only on how to get him to make his bed. For true “shaping” definition and examples consult the workbook. 2. Identify the Payoffs: Mother concludes that Johnny probably has 3 “payoffs” for not making his bed (and none for making it). Payoff A: He escapes the work of making his bed. Payoff B: He saves time by not making his bed. Payoff C: He wins the power struggle game (“You can’t make me!”).
A. Eliminate the payoffs for noncompliance (above 2:A-C): For Payoff A: Tear bed up and cause Johnny more work. For Payoff B: It takes more time now than it would have taken to make the bed in the first place. This is called overcorrection. For Payoff C: No nagging or power games; no satisfaction from “winning”. B. Initiate reinforcing/shaping procedures to make it rewarding to make the bed (mother explains and implements the earnings contract and gives Johnny points for making his bed). C. Punishment for noncompliance. When Johnny doesn’t make his bed he loses contract points and pays $1.00 “maid fee” for someone to make his bed. If there are several failures to make the bed, first the bedding, and then the bed will be removed.
A. Mother sits down with Johnny and gets his input regarding the possible solutions and consequences. B. Mother modifies the plan as necessary. C. Mother explains the finalized plan to Johnny. 1. She explains the rules: the bed must be made every morning before he leaves his room. 2. She explains the rewards for compliance. He will earn 50 points daily for making his bed and double points on Saturday (100) if he is all finished by 9:00 AM! 3. She also explains the cost (punishment) for not making his bed which is a $1.00 “maid fee” on regular days and $2.00 on bedding change day. Also, if there are several failures he will first lose the bedding and then the entire bed. Recovery is expensive: $5.00 for bedding, and $15.00 for a bed. Lost beds are literally taken out of the room and stored in the garage! Mother asks Johnny if he understands all the conditions. He says he does.
The “Token Economy” is based upon the principle that you must earn what you get and you pay for what you use. It is high moral degeneracy for able-bodied people to be parasites and “con” a living off the hard workers of society. The belief that we can get “something” for “nothing” is a false and terrible lie. It leads to disappointment and bankruptcy. Someone once truly said, “There is no such thing as a ‘free’ lunch.” Even when “free” lunches are served in schools they are not “free”. Someone must pay for the lunch, even if the child or his parents cannot! Children who do not work (but who are given everything that hard work produces) are trained to expect something for nothing and to freeload off of others. These children fail to develop those character traits that come from hard work: self- respect, independence and integrity. The Token Economy is a system that both recognizes and proportionately rewards work and effort. It is a system which puts into practice the Correct Principles of parenting as taught in this program. If the Correct Principles are followed and the Token Economy wisely and skillfully put into practice, it will help parents avoid the Parent Traps mentioned in this program as well as many others not mentioned. The TOKEN ECONOMY is a system that rewards work, and requires “something” for “something” and does not give “something” for “nothing”. Value for value! It is based upon (and employs) the principles of: freedom and accountability, earning and thrift, challenge and reward, struggle and growth, integrity and virtue, duty, responsibility, and much more. These all come into focus through an intelligently applied program of industry called, “WORK!” In other words, it is designed to develop skills, confidence and high moral values in those individuals who practice it; AND IT DOES! What are some of the concepts/benefits underlying the token economy? Is "need satisfaction" the cause and motivating power of all behavior? Yes! We act or move (behave) to satisfy our needs (real or imagined). The more severe the need, the stronger we are motivated to satisfy that need. What is Abraham H. Maslow's Theory of Need? Maslow’s Hierarchy Of Needs Abraham H. Maslow’s pyramid of need hierarchy gives insight into understanding which needs are most critical and must be satisfied first. The pyramid is self-explanatory, but the following discussion and examples are provided for clarification. Level 1 is the first and most primary need category. Maslow’s theory states that until our physical needs are met we will give our greatest focus, interest and energy to meeting those needs. Only after we have sufficient food, clothing and shelter are we able to consider our second level of needs. Needs for personal security (level 2) are pursued immediately after Level 1 needs are met and before we think about meeting the next higher level needs. The pyramid continues upward in this manner. Maslow’s model clearly shows that a person’s focus and energy automatically go to the lowest level of unmet need. In other words, if John has the chance to spend the evening talking and visiting with friends (level 3, social need) but has lost his job, has no money and is actually hungry because he hasn’t eaten in two days, he will not be interested in idly chatting with friends. He will, however, be highly motivated to get something to eat. Therefore, John abandons the pursuit of satisfying level 3, needs because he is hungry, and hunger, a level 1 need, must be satisfied first. Food is critical for survival, socialization is not. Once a need has been satisfied, does it still motivate? NO!! Fulfill every need and there is no motivation to take action to satisfy needs, because there aren’t any. “No need” equals no motivation to move and that equals no behavior. Can’t get your kids to work? If they were hungry or without clothing and shelter they would work, and the hungrier and colder they were, the more willing they would be to work, and they’d be happy for the opportunity! Being “great” parents and fulfilling your child’s every need is one of the worst and most debilitating things you can do for them! Give children everything and you destroy all incentive to work, save, earn, sacrifice, struggle, defer gratification and achieve. Give them everything and you’ll raise self-centered, selfish, egotistical, ungrateful brats, who develop a sense of entitlement. They’ll always expect you to keep coming up with some “miracle” to keep them entertained. We have heard such kids complain, “I’m bored!” and have seen parents jump up and say, “Well, Honey, why don’t we...?” The spoiled, lazy brat answers, “Been there, done that! Life is a drag!” Your child needs to need!! Children “need to need” so that they will aggressively struggle and work! Children need motivation! “Need” motivates! Therefore, depending on their age, require that your children satisfy many of their own level 1 needs by working and earning! When they do, they’ll be well on their way to satisfying higher levels. They’ll be happier and develop stronger character and basic skills for adulthood. Remember: All behavior is purposeful and makes sense in terms of need satisfaction even though it may appear complex and confusing. All behavior is motivated from the desire to fulfill a perceived need. The more pain the need produces, the more motivating value it has! The most important and basic level of needs must be fulfilled first; then succeeding levels can be considered. ? Don’t give your children things, give them opportunities to earn and buy what they need! ? Don’t give your children money, give them work! ? Don’t give your children advice (lecturing), give them consequences! ? Don’t start your kids off on welfare, teach them how to support themselves and to be progressively more capable and independent!
No, because children “need” opportunity, development and self-respect. We don’t mean that parents should withhold medical attention, or that a little child should be expected to earn everything. However, with common sense, wisdom, and love, parents must decide which of their own personal “needs” their children can and should fulfill (depending upon their maturity, age level, etc.) and then allow the children to fill many of those needs themselves. Apply this principle of "need" in a wise, loving and age appropriate way. You will be amazed at the capabilities your children manifest. The curse: Teenage Retirement!! By meeting all our children’s needs we have tragically put them on “Teenage Retirement!” We’ve put them out of work! If you don’t require your children to work and earn what they get you are robbing them of their opportunity to develop and grow and have self-respect. You aren’t being a good parent by providing more and more; you are being an irresponsible parent. Even if you had endless resources it would be terribly wrong to give everything to your kids and rob them of the satisfaction of achieving their own financial and emotional independence. It is a great insult to say, “I will provide everything for you, because you obviously can’t!” You are really saying, “It is much easier for me to give you everything you need than it is for me to take the time to train you properly!” Why do parents provide everything? 1. They want the child to enjoy childhood. 2. They want the child to have more time to study and get “good” grades. 3. They think “good” parents should provide all they can. 4. They are ignorant of correct principles; without a clue for the damage they do! 5. It makes the parents feel needed and like “super parents”! We find in actuality that kids learn to manage money much better and faster if they are managing their own hard-earned cash. I personally recall (as a seven or eight-year-old money saver) that once, when I heard the music of the ice cream truck coming down the street, mom called, “Who wants ice cream?” I happily called back, “I do!” “Okay, hurry and bring your money!” she said. I stopped; I sure wasn’t going to blow my hard-earned cash on a little pleasure that would quickly be gone. Mom was pretty smart! We always begged for ice cream when the truck came by, so she put us to work so we would have our own money. If we wanted ice cream and asked for it, mom would say, “Sure, but use your money.” That sure stopped the begging. I decided very young that I really didn’t need an ice cream every day if I had to pay for it! I discovered that there were more important things in life than a few moments of pleasure, and that if I “saved” (deferred gratification), I could enjoy them for long periods of time! In other words I learned “value”; that you can waste your hard earned money on “junk” or you can spend it wisely on things that are valuable and that last! It seems to be the nature of some children to spend every penny they earn; they (sadly) must painfully learn the value of saving by not having money when they really need or want something! The earlier we learn that lesson the better it is for us! Listed below are some items we see in our homes that we automatically “provide” for our children. With a little thought one can list (literally) a thousand items that we just “give” our kids that they have come to “expect” and that they never lift a finger to earn. We could list pages for every room in the house! Here is a list to get you started. Try to think about your situation and see how many more you can add! IN HOME: Hot and cold running water, plumbing, heat, lighting and electricity, carpets, window coverings, private baths, telephone, back yard, newspaper and magazines, automobile,______________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ KITCHEN: Dishes, pots and pans, silverware, sink, soap, garbage disposal, stove and oven, full refrigerator, electric can openers, toaster, blender, popcorn popper, dishwasher, compactor, microwave, cupboards, tablecloths, spices, great variety of food, ____________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________________ EDUCATION: Schools, college, clubs, sports, activities, music, transportation, __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________ BATHROOM: Private inside toilet and wash basin, mirrors, bath and shower, towels and washcloth, soap and shampoo, first aid supplies, curlers and hair spray, toothbrush and toothpaste, hair dryer, polish, brush, comb, razor, rugs, tweezers, nail clippers, __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________________________________ FAMILY ROOM: Carpets, draperies, TV, VCR, lamps, table, sofa, chairs, piano, pictures, decorations, paint or wallpaper, books, ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________ YARD: Lawn, plants and flowers, fence, mower, lawn tools, hose and water, _____________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________ BEDROOM: Personal bed with mattress, sheets, pillow and pillow case, blankets, electric blanket, radio, closet, dresser, many clothes, games and toys, CD and tape recorder, ghetto-blaster, stereo, books, phone, carpet, desk, computer, curtains, _______________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________________________
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