The unisex purity test

XIII. Look, Ma, No Hands!
(Style - 197 Questions)
Have you:
1338.pointed and laughed?

1339.had someone point and laugh at you?

1340.eaten oysters?

1341.eaten prairie oysters?

1342.eaten Rocky Mountain Oysters (them¹s ain¹t seafood!)?

1343.eaten a banana in a provocative manner?

1344.eaten an ice cream cone in a provocative manner?

1345.eaten a taco in a provocative manner?

1346.eaten soup in a provocative manner?

1347.used an aphrodisiac?

1348.told someone that something was an aphrodisiac when it wasn't?

1349.Did it work anyway?

1350.used amyl nitrate?

1351.taken something to "improve" your sexual performance?

1352.coined pet names for any of your body parts (other than genitalia)?

1353.coined pet names for any of your partner's body parts (other than genitalia)?

1354.coined pet names for your genitalia?

1355.coined pet names for your partner's genitalia?

1356.had an orgasm?

1357.ejaculated (yes females CAN ejaculate and males can have an orgasm without ejacu-

lating)?

1358.taken notes during arguments, in order to remember the good lines?

1359.had sex with the same person more than 10 times?

1360.had sex with over 10 people (total - not necessarily at once)?

1361.had sex with anybody/thing more than 100 times?

1362.had sex with anybody/thing more than 500 times?

1363.never had sex with the same person more than once?

1364.had to sleep in the wet spot?

1365.volunteered to sleep in the wet spot?

1366.volunteered to sleep in the wet spot because you like it?

1367.slept in someone else's wet spot (not yours or a partner's)?

1368.accepted sex and now wish you hadn't?

1369.turned down sex and now wish you hadn't?

1370.made a phone call during sexual activity (again, sexual activity does not mean pene-

tration; just fooling around) with someone?

1371.taken a phone call during sexual activity (again, sexual activity does not mean pene-

tration; just fooling around) with someone?

1372.during sexual activity, had your partner make or take a phone call with their parent,

other-half, or other important type person?

1373.ever been preoccupied during sexual activity (television, homework, playing piano,

dictating a letter, running a marathon, etc.)?

1374.ever had your partner be preoccupied during sexual activity?

1375.had a general emergency arise during sexual activity (e.g. flood, fire, hurricane,

apocalypse, etc.)?

1376.had a minor emergency during sexual activity (e.g. muscle cramp, asthma attack,

somebody at the door, accidentally smashed head into the ceiling)?

1377.during sexual activity had any crisis that now causes you great merriment (e.g. the

bed broke, neighbors call cops about the noise, one of you fainted)?

1378.had nude snapshots taken of you?

1379.taken nude snapshots of someone else?

1380.take nude snapshots of yourself?

1381.given nude snapshots, drawings or other artwork, of yourself to someone?

1382.engaged in sex for more than three hours in a single session with the same partner?

1383.engaged in sex for more than ten hours in a single session with the same partner?

1384.engaged in sex for more than one full day in a single session with the same partner?

1385.engaged in sex for more than three hours in a single session with multiple partners?

1386.engaged in sex for more than ten hours in a single session with multiple partners?

1387.performed ritual sexual activity as part of a religious practice (Tantric Yoga or Fertil-

ity Rites)?

1388.had sex until one of you was sore?

1389.had sex until one of you was dry?

1390.had sex until one of you was bleeding (menstruation doesn't count)?

1391.smoked after sex?

1392.smoked during sex?

1393.smoked instead of sex?

1394.been intentionally bruised or injured during any sexual activity?

1395.intentionally bruised or injured someone during any sexual activity?

1396.spanked anyone before sex?

1397.spanked anyone during sex?

1398.spanked someone other than your partner during sex (the neighbor's kid, your un-

cle, whoever)?

1399.been sore the morning after?

1400.had sex to Ravel's Bolero?

1401.had sex to the Blue Danube?

1402.had sex to any other classical selection?

1403.had sex to Dr. Demento (the radio show; not the person)?

1404.had sex to candlelight?

1405.had sex to fireplace light?

1406.had sex to campfire light?

1407.had sex to moonlight?

1408.had sex in full lighting?

1409.had sex to blacklight?

1410.had sex in absolute darkness?

1411.disturbed others with the noise from your sexual activity?

1412.been a moaner?

1413.caused someone to be a moaner?

1414.been a screamer?

1415.had to muffle yourself (with a pillow, etc.) for whatever reason?

1416.caused someone to be a screamer?

1417.had to muffle them (with a pillow, etc.) for whatever reason?

1418.fucked missionary (old-fashioned way)?

1419.fucked dorsally ('doggy' style)?

1420.fucked amphibiously ('froggy' style)?

1421.fucked in the female superior position?

1422.fucked sitting up?

1423.fucked standing up?

1424.fucked in a chair?

1425.fucked while leaning over a chair?

1426.fucked while still clothed ('down with trousers, up with dresses!')?

1427.fucked sideways?

1428.fucked both facing the same direction (spooning)?

1429.fucked in the wheelbarrow position (remember those "wheelbarrow races" when you

were a kid)?

1430.fucked while supporting your partner (physically, not financially)?

1431.fucked upside-down (staircases, etc.)?

1432.fucked while hanging from the rafters?

1433.fucked while hanging from the rafters upside-down?

1434.fucked while bouncing on a trampoline?

1435.fucked while hanging from a trapeze?

1436.fucked in some other position than those mentioned (must be explained for the group

so they can try it [later, if they like]))?

1437.played "sit-n-spin" (use your imagination)?

1438.gone through two or more sexual positions without the need for re-entry?

1439.fucked in front of or under a mirror?

1440.participated in fist-fucking (see Caligula)?

1441.participated in breast fucking (Hawaiian muscle-fuck)?

1442.fallen asleep during sex or oral sex?

1443.had your partner fall asleep during sex or oral sex?

1444.performed oral sex after intercourse without washing or douching?

1445.kissed after oral sex without brushing or gargling?

1446.talked dirty during sexual activity?

1447.conversed during sexual activity ("So then I had to call my lawyer and he said that I

should file .... hold on, I'm gonna come ..... so as I was saying....)?

1448.had your partner faint as a result of orgasm?

1449.caused your partner to have a heart attack from orgasm?

1450.caused your partner to have a stroke (the medical condition) from orgasm?

1451.caused your partner to die from orgasm?

1452.fainted as a result of orgasm?

1453.had a heart attack as a result of orgasm?

1454.had a stroke as a result of orgasm?

1455.died as a result of orgasm?

1456.caused someone to have multiple orgasms?

1457.caused someone to have multiple orgasms who didn't think he/she was able?

1458.been caused to have multiple orgasms?

1459.been caused to have multiple orgasms when you didn't think you were able?

1460.had sex before breakfast (this implies sleep the night before)?

1461.had sex instead of lunch (good aerobics and low on calories)?

1462.had a 'quickie'?

1463.had sex more than five times in twenty four hours?

1464.had sex more than twelve times in twenty four hours?

1465.had sex with more than one person in a 24 hour time period?

1466.had sex with more than four people in a 24 hour time period?

1467.gone in public after sex w/o bathing (and you're sure everyone can tell it too)?

1468.had sex with both genders in a 24 hour period?

1469.had sex with more than one species in a 24 hour period?

1470.with a hermaphrodite, necked/petted?

1471.with a hermaphrodite, had oral sex (two to choose from)?

1472.with a hermaphrodite, fucked?

1473.even met a hermaphrodite?

1474.Are you a hermaphrodite?

1475.had sex with spectators (who didn't paticipate at any time)?

1476.been judged by the spectators?

1477.had spectators take notes?

1478.foot masturbated someone (note to sadists: kicking someone in the crotch doesn't

count)?

1479.been foot masturbated (note to masochists: being kicked in the crotch doesn't count)?

1480.tongue bathed someone?

1481.tongue bathed yourself?

1482.been tongue bathed?

1483.sucked the feet or toes of someone?

1484.had someone suck your feet or toes?

1485.sucked your own feet or toes?

1486.sucked your own feet or toes at someone else's request?

1487.been, or kept, a mistress?

1488.been, or had, a 'kept man'?

1489.been a pimp or Madame?

1490.been engaged in sexual activity when the parent/spouse/boy (or girl) friend of either

of you returned unexpectedly?

1491.been engaged in sexual activity when the parent/spouse/boy (or girl) friend of either

of you returned unexpectedly, have them excuse themselves and tell you to continue?

1492.been engaged in sexual activity when the parent/spouse/boy (or girl) friend of either

of you returned unexpectedly, have them excuse themselves and tell you to continue, and

you could?

1493.been engaged in sexual activity when the parent/spouse/boy (or girl) friend of either

of you returned unexpectedly, talked with you for a while, and then left?

1494.been engaged in sexual activity when the parent/spouse/boy (or girl) friend of either

of you brought you food to keep your energy up?

1495.been engaged in sexual activity when the parent/spouse/boy (or girl) friend of either

of you returned unexpectedly and asked to join you?

1496.Did you let them?

1497.been engaged in sexual activity when the parent/spouse/boy (or girl) friend of either

of you returned unexpectedly and you asked them to join you?

1498.Did they?

1499.walked in on your other-half while they were engaged in sexual activity with some-

one else?

1500.walked in on your other-half while they were engaged in sexual activity with some-

one else, and they asked you to join them?

1501.Did you?

1502.walked in on your other-half while they were engaged in sexual activity with some-

one else, and then asked to join them?

1503.Did they let you?

1504.walked in on your parents?

1505.walked in on your parents and they asked you to join them?

1506.Did you?

1507.walked in on your parents and asked to join them?

1508.Did they let you?

1509.walked in on your grandparents?

1510.walked in on your grandparents and they asked you to join them?

1511.Did you?

1512.walked in on your grandparents and asked to join them?

1513.Did they let you?

1514.walked in on someone else's parents?

1515.walked in on someone else's parents and they asked you to join them?

1516.Did you?

1517.walked in on someone else's parents and asked to join them?

1518.Did they let you?

1519.walked in on someone else's grandparents (that's as far as we're taking this one)?

1520.walked in on others, unaware that they were engaged in sexual activity?

1521.walked in on others, to discover them engaged in a sexual activity you thought was

too weird?

1522.walked in on others, to discover them engaged in a sexual activity you hadn't

thought possible?

1523.had others walk in unaware that you were involved in sexual activity and declare 'I

didn't think that was possible'?

1524.had others walk in unaware that you were involved in sexual activity and declare 'too

weird'?

1525.initiated sexual activity with a member of the medical profession (your doctor, nurse

or therapist)?

1526.initiated sexual activity with someone in authority (your parole officer, psychiatrist,

or baby-sitter)?

1527.initiated sexual activity with a member of the legal profession (lawyer, judge, or

paralegal)?

1528.initiated sexual activity with a member of the academic community (professor, in-

structor, TA)?

1529.initiated sexual activity with an intellectual (librarian, author, essayist, or scribe)?

1530.initiated sexual activity with someone in uniform (Army, Navy, Marines, Post Of-

fice, Cub Scout)?

1531.initiated sexual activity with a member of an 'out' group (someone you wouldn't

take home to meet the family, e.g. a biker, air head or securities broker)?

1532.initiated sexual activity with a member of a sports team (or cheerleading squad)?

1533.initiated sexual activity with an acrobatic-type athlete (gymnast, trapeze artist, etc.)?

1534.initiated sexual activity with religious officiary (priest, rabbi, nun, cardinal, guru,

ayatollah, pope, etc.)?