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959

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Sat Feb 17, 2001 8:53am

Subject: 11. Normalcy
11. Arthur Janov has an excellent description of normalcy. The goal of primal therapy is to bring one to what Janov describes as post primal, ie normal. Post flood using the self help measures is post primal and can be achieved in a short time if the measures are used consistently at the first signs of detox crises. I don't necessarily agree with psychological explanations nor find them useful, but I identify with his description of normalcy, having used the self-help measures. I like the definition of post flood as a sustainable euphoria, not a 'high', but freedom from anxiety and distress.
-On Being Normal, Chapter 11, The Primal Scream, Arthur Janov, Perigee Books, 1970. Hopefully I'm not in trouble because of copyright--I think this book is out of print.

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Archiver's N-o-t-e: The lengthy text by Arthur Janov has been deleted from this message, because it is a repeat - that can be found in message #74

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960

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Mon Feb 19, 2001 4:46am

Subject: 12. eGroup for post-flood people
Hello,

If you read the last post about Normalcy and have decided you are post-flood please join the new interactive group, where you can meet others and share issues during the muddy basin period. You might use the Questionnaire in the Welcome Message of this group to get an idea whether you are post flood. We are anxious that this new group be a safe place to share, i.e. with no misdirecting of anger at each other, so when you join please be prepared to send a brief summary of your story.

Ellie
The new group is on:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/depression-conquered
This is an interactive discussion group for those who have recovered from symptoms of depression and/or anxiety through redirecting therapy or primal therapy. It is a place to share our unique perspective as post-flood/post- primal individuals with others on a wide range of topics, from our relationships with significant others (who may not yet be healed) to our relationship to the larger world; from the sense of isolation, to feelings of frustration in trying to pass on the way we have recovered to others.
Ellie

http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26

http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579

http://home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway

http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
961

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Thu Feb 22, 2001 8:13am

Subject: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/depression-cause-cure/message/961?expand=1
Hi,

If you would like an easy URL to give to friends to find the RST the following URL will reach it.


http://www.clearpathway.net/
Ellie

http://www.clearpathway.net/

http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
962

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Fri Feb 23, 2001 6:03am

Subject: 17. Excitatory Nervous Symptoms
17. Excitatory Nervous Symptoms

To recover rapidly it is important to recognize the many types of excitatory nervous symptoms as detoxification crises during which the brain is releasing toxic amounts of noradrenaline that store repressed anger, and to do the redirecting during these symptoms. The list of excitatory nervous symptoms is long and varies for each person, but your speed of recovery depends on recognizing these symptoms and doing the redirecting as often as possible when they occur.


Here is a partial list of excitatory nervous symptoms: anxiety, fear, palpitations, panic attacks, nightmares, tremors, insomnia, compulsive thoughts or behavior, mania, paranoia, resentments, judgmental thoughts, moral or ethical condemnation of others, misdirected anger or rage, aggressive behavior, guilt, shame, low self-esteem, suicidal thought, biting your nails or picking at your skin, cravings for stimulants, alcohol, caffeine, nicotine, sex, shopping or other psychological stimulants, cravings for sedatives, sedating foods, or other calming techniques like meditation, fear of abandonment, feelings of rejection, loneliness.
The more often you do the redirecting, physically if possible--but if not do it mentally--the sooner you will reach post flood, i.e. when about 95% of anger related to childhood has been released. If you are already at this point be sure to continue the redirecting. If you stop redirecting, your journey to normalcy will stall. If you still have any depression, it's a signal you need to redirect more to past abusers. Eventually your anger when triggered will be about the current interaction and you will need to direct it toward the current abuser, not necessarily in person, but sometimes by calmly confronting. The goal of RST is to achieve, not a sustained, but a sustainable euphoria, best defined as freedom from anxiety and depression, i.e. a sustainable quiet mind.
Ellie
http://www.clearpathway.net/

http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure


963

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Fri Feb 23, 2001 6:27am

Subject: Feel like you are losing it?
"I must describe a tremendous detoxification episode I went through last night -- actually, when I was awakened at 3 AM from a fitful sleep. It seems that my strongest detoxification events occur at this time when they interrupt my sleep. All week I had been leading up to it; I felt a lot of gut-churning grief and a few crying episodes over the whole abandonment mess with the two adult children of my 1st marriage, but I knew it was really a "soul nausea"-- a coming detox storm giving its warnings -- and that I was not yet ready to "throw up." But last night was the time to get it all out, and out it came! I refer to it as a "textbook" case of redirecting because I really experienced the difference between redirecting and merely having a primal. I was definitely having a primal, and I know you warn about people who self-primal run the risk of psychosis. Well, that was upsetting me ads I started shaking while walking around the house in the dark.
I really felt I was going insane and I started to get really scared. I sensed my fear building up because of the thought I was crazy, which in turn magnified the fear into an ever-increasing positive feedback loop or "vicious cycle." I found myself standing and shaking and silently screaming. My arms were tense and I was slowly pushing them up and down in front of me as if I were trying to shed skin or get out of clothing that was hampering me. Later I had a sense that this was a traumatic birth experience -- I was a blue baby, being suffocated at the very time I should have been taking my first breath. Also I had pneumonia and was in an oxygen tent in the hospital when I was 3 months old, so I'm sure there was something related to that as well.
I was really freaking out as I shook more violently, until I remembered that I should redirect. At first I didn't know which target to pick, but I was so terrified it didn't matter, so I just started with the "usual suspects:" my mother father, doctors in the hospital, God, the Pope the Catholic Church, etc. And the amazing experience was that as soon as I made the conscious decision to redirect, I was suddenly calm in the midst of this shaking, like a very calm eye in the middle of a hurricane. And I do intend a pun here, which we can only make in English, namely "eye" = "I". I was in the eye in the middle of my own toxic psychic hurricane, and as I was redirecting
I really felt that I was separating myself from the detox symptoms that were overwhelming my physical body. In other words, up until the moment I decided to redirect I was actually identifying my self, my I with the dear I was experiencing, which meant that I was allowing myself to be blown away by the hurricane. That is true insanity, or the path to true psychosis.

But once I started to redirect, I simply let the detox spasms take their course. If anything, they intensified because I was no longer inhibiting them. Imagine someone with Parkinson's really shaking to the point that they have to lie down because they are shaking so violently that they are losing their balance and can't stand up anymore. I then fell into the bed and was writhing. I was still completely silent, but inwardly screaming at my mother to come and pick me up, but she wouldn't come so I was angry at her. I became angry at other targets because this was a primal fear of abandonment I had to work through in order to experience the physiological memories of the actual abandonment I felt at birth, even in the womb.


As you say, Ellie, it doesn't matter if you pinpoint the exact primal event in your infancy or before. What matters ids that you find the security of your own ego, your own I in the center of the detox hurricane. Once there, you are completely protected and I really felt the nakedness of my own being there, nothing but me, myself and I waiting calmly in the eye off Hurricane Detox for the winds to run their course and finally die away. As I felt the episode weaken, I realized that I needed to do some reprocessing of the experience. I did some of my EMDR techniques (EMDR =Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) which are actually the brain's way of processing emotional trauma, as EMDR creates the conditions while awake, what REM dream sleep does for you unconsciously). That was the "icing on the cake" so to speak and allowed me to rest calmly, literally just like a newborn baby and I fell into a wonderful peaceful sleep at about 4 AM and woke up really refreshed and feeling wonderful at 7:30 AM. The sun has been shining brightly all day in my soul and giving me new confidence that when the next hurricane or tropical detox storm hits, I will simply redirect and ride it out as an observer in the middle of the hurricane "I". " Tom
Ellie

http://www.clearpathway.net/

http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
964

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Fri Feb 23, 2001 6:52am

Subject: Changing to raw foods
Lately I realize that I'm scared to continue releasing anger, because I feel like I'm completely going to loose myself. I am very confused because my values are off. I don't know who I am anymore. I'm loosing myself and I don't know what's gonna happen once I'm postflood. To get to that point is very scary to me. I just can't see an end to this. The depression and confusion is terrible. And to make it worst I changed my diet last weekend, because my body felt so bad by me eating all this crazy food. So now I eat mostly raw fruit and vegetable and grains (I love carbohydrates, so I'm not sure if I will ever be able to shake that). I haven't eaten candy since Sunday. And I'm just doing it without any great effort, isn't that crazy. I feel bad and I don't eat comfort food! I guess that's a progress. Actually I already know the answer to my question, but I want to share this with someone who has been through this and understands what I'm going through -

Natalie
Thanks for sharing this, and congratulations on the food changes. These changes will make your symptoms more intense for a while. This is a good thing and will speed your recovery. Keep redirecting. As long as you redirect during the periodic detox crises, you won't lose it. Don't worry if you need sedating foods at times, the cravings will not subside for a long time, even through the muddy basin period which can be a good year or more. But when you are post flood your symptoms will be less intense and less often.


Ellie

http://www.clearpathway.net/

http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
965

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Fri Feb 23, 2001 10:04am

Subject: Anger and sin
Ephesians 4:26, "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath."

The New Testament word for sin is "hamartia," an archery term meaning to miss the mark. Sounds like misdirected anger to me. Use the RST to hit the mark......


Ellie

http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26

http://www.clearpathway.net/

http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure



966

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Sat Feb 24, 2001 7:31am

Subject: Don't give up
Hello Ellie:
I had a lot of work to do and I also felt pretty down this week. It has been a tough week - both at work and in my out-of work lives. I coped pretty well with the tough week at work. But on this week quite a deep depression came back again and I felt really low sometimes - I still kept redirecting, although it did not always help to alter my mood at least for a while. Sometimes I feel it is a never-ending battle. Maybe the reason for my skepticism is that last week I had a pretty good week. I felt quite good and strong and this week when depression returned again I felt it like a falling back to the hole. Maybe my situation is actually better than 2 weeks ago but I am comparing the current situation to the last weeks' situation. Maybe I am just too impatient. I know that fight against depression is also about will power because if it hits 100 times 100 times you have to fight it back consciously and not to give in because then you can start again. All these promised benefits of after-depression state seem so far away sometimes. The other thing is that sometimes I doubt whether I can ever really fight and be assertive about my needs and wants.

But still somewhere deep there, there is a voice saying keep continuing - although besides you I do not get too much support I want to get out from depression and I believe I can do it although it is a long and tough journey. Regards, R.

Hi,

You will be assertive when you need to be in time, I know it's a long road.



Keep redirecting, sometimes you have to just go through the depression, and know it will lift, but other times you can pull out of it, NOT BY WILL POWER, but by doing some redirecting. If you are not getting any 'highs' when you do the redirecting, this is actually a good sign, When you are PF you will not have these highs, and will have to continue the redirecting but your depression should be pretty much gone.

Listen to that voice within saying to keep going...it's not a road to always feeling good, but you will have a 'sustainable' peace of mind.

Ellie
----- Original Message -----
From: Roland Karko
To: mailto:rkarko@hotmail.com
Sent: 2/23/01 8:12:23 AM
Subject: Re: Happy Valentine to you.
Ellie

http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26

http://www.clearpathway.net/

http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure


967

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Sat Feb 24, 2001 7:42am

Subject: Re: anger vs sin
Ephesians 4:26, "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath."
The New Testament word for sin is "hamartia," an archery term meaning to miss the mark. Sounds like misdirected anger to me. Use the RST to hit the mark......
This was so perfect. I needed to hear this one. I have been to afraid to face my own rage within... because I am such a rager. I do not have a problem showing my anger at all... now I am afraid to bring up the anger on my own. Well, not any more... it will be me, an old tennis racket, and the bed whacking tonight. My family will all be gone and I will have the freedom to really feel my rage and direct it correctly......
Thanks Ellie... Your time and efforts to give back what you have taught yourself are a true gift from God...... May your day be blessed S.
It was not me but the toxic mind theory, the biology of all this, that was a gift from God. Without your sharing your commitment to this work, this would not reach so many others who need this support. THANK YOU... Ellie
http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26

http://www.clearpathway.net/

http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
968

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Sat Feb 24, 2001 8:15am

Subject: Ways to Redirect Agner
Ways to Redirect Anger
Pound on a bed with your fists and yell. Use a bataka bat or tennis racket to spare your fists.
Roll up a towel, beat the bed, and scream. Muffle your voice if you have neighbors.
Take a pair of jeans, hold it by the ankles, and whack the hell out of your bed.
Yell, scream, shriek into a pillow in the closet if necessary, or yell in the shower.
Put on heavy gloves and pound on the wall, or hit a punching bag.
Throw things at the wall, not random things, safe things like pillows
Kick a ball around the room. Kick the air.
Slam doors, cupboard doors, or drawers.
Rip cloth or paper to shreds.
Put work gloves on to avoid paper cuts and tear up a phone book. Yell while you tear.
Take pages out of a magazine, tear them in half, and throw them around the room.
Do a dance of anger.
Scrub the floor.
If you can't sleep or wake up with a scary dream, pound your fists on the bed until you relax.
Stomp your feet when you walk.
Kick a rock down the street.
Run, ride a bike, or do other hard physical exercise.
Weed the garden, the lawn, and anything else in sight.
Bang on a tree. Pick up a branch, break it, and throw it on the ground.
Find some stones to hurl into the water.
When you are in public try to find a private place like a restroom stall and pound on the wall. You may need to redirect anger to past abusers quietly in your mind. If you are in an office, throw a crumpled ball hard into a wastebasket. Break a pencil in two. Jab a ballpoint pen through a piece of paper. Tighten your fists.
Mentally talk to past abusers. Say to those parental voices still in your head, "shut up," or, "get out of my head," or "I hate you." If you are comfortable with strong language, use it.
Write letters or compose e-mail messages to parents and other past abusers--then tear up the letters or delete the e-mail.
Play pinball, or if you can find it, there is game at some arcades where these little guys pop up and you are supposed to whomp 'em with a mallet as fast as you can.
Go bowling and visualize the pins as past abusers. Find games like this on the Internet--there is one called the Elfbowl game.
Go to a cemetery and pound on a grave.
If you are at an airport, stand outside where the planes are revving their engines and getting ready to take off. Yell. No one will hear you--you won't even be able to hear yourself.

Ellie


http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26

http://www.clearpathway.net/

http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
969

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Sat Feb 24, 2001 9:33am

Subject: Turning depressison into anger
About turning depression into anger: I really found that to be the most important thing. And it is extremely effective. I can lift even a severe depression in a matter of minutes by redirecting it into anger - a LOT of anger. I can really work myself into a rage when I am depressed. I am just gradually learning how useful this tool can be as well. Last week, I set aside the entire week, just to work on some issues and get out some anger. I not only found my repressed anger against my mom, but worked at it so effectively, I really understand where the term "flood" comes from. I mean, I was RAGING MAD. I had to stop every other minute because I was out of breath, and then went at it again until I could find no more anger or I was so tired I simply could not continue. And you now, yesterday I couldn't find any more anger. The emotions were still lingering a little, but the anger was simply gone.
I think I have at least some anger left that I will get out little by little, but by and large, there really came forth a flood. I was on antidepressants. I had my worst suicidal attack while on Effexor, so I doubt it could count as a lifesaver in my case. I stopped taking the medication about two months after I started doing the self-help measures. I am feeling -much- better. I am making progress on my way to healing, and can identify a lot of the post-flood symptoms. I can easily fall asleep now, something I haven't been able to do for the last two years, I have fewer compulsive thoughts, have lost interest in TV violence (I get sick of it), I cry more easily - both for myself and for others." Frank
Ellie

http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26

http://www.clearpathway.net/

http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure


970

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Sat Feb 24, 2001 2:01pm

Subject: anger vs sin
I'll bet that word sin was created by people who wanted us to suppress anger and feel guilty if we misdirected anger. Misdirected anger is an unconscious attempt to release justifiable anger, so I hope if you misdirected anger you don't feel guilty, but just do some more redirecting. We are innocent of misdirected anger.
Ellie

http://clearpathway.net/

http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579

http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26



http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure
971

From: Elnora Van Winkle>

Date: Sun Feb 25, 2001 6:26am

Subject: Significant others
Hi Ellie,
I'm so glad I found your article and subsequently the discussion group and all the messages that really help to support me. Coming to grips with the fact that I indeed have a problem with anger toward my now deceased father has been very difficult as I was trained to be nothing but the dutiful daughter. Now learning to redirect whenever (and that seems to be the key for me) a crisis arises is the next challenge I'm facing. I feel pretty overwhelmed at being both the patient and counselor here, as well as trying to teach my significant other what it is I am doing.
The first time I redirected, I felt sort of silly, it didn't take long for me to really get into it. I surprised myself with how loudly and forcefully I could yell and how good it felt to pound something or throw something. My boyfriend took me to hit baseballs at a batting cage and wow, I was really letting those feelings of anger release as I connected with the balls. I was exhausted afterward and even felt guilty and then depressed that I had acted in such a way. Eventually, I learned to turn the strength I felt while redirecting into feelings of love and concern for myself. I didn't deserve to be trained and abused by my father, and I wasn't going to perpetuate that abuse any longer by feeling guilty for my feelings.
It wasn't long before I became aware of significant improvements in my ability to experience anger. My boyfriend and I had a disagreement last weekend during which he became very intense (yelling). Even though I was angry, I felt calm and was actually able to think clearly and remain calm and in control FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER! It was almost effortless!
I processed what was happening, took a moment to identify what I was feeling and then I was able to verbalize this to my boyfriend in a non-blaming way. I don't think he knew what to do with me...I was handling things so differently than during previous disagreements. I did get scared when he punched a hole in the wall and decided to leave to allow things to settle down. But even then, I didn't storm out, I wasn't crying, I was calm and decisive.
Thank you so much for this breakthrough. I feel like I'm starting to live life so much more confidently. I know there will be other breakthroughs as I continue to redirect. I only hope more people find this information and take action to free themselves from the pain of their repressed anger.
I'm not sure how to post this to the discussion group. Perhaps you could send me instructions about posting messages there.
Thanks again Ellie for your ongoing efforts on behalf of so many of us who would still be hampered by our lost feelings. Take care, L
Hi,
Thanks for sharing this, the group is set up as non-interactive, so you can't post to it, but I sometimes post peoples messages, as I am doing with yours. Don't forget that guilt is anger turned inward and a trigger to do some more redirecting. The depression that follows the detox crises may intensify for a while. Put a sign on the refrig saying, "It will lift" or try to do some more redirecting when you are depressed.
Please print out the pamphlet to refer to, and it might be a good idea to give that to your boyfriend rather than to try and explain it to him. Hopefully, he will identify and begin the use the RST himself.
Ellie

http://clearpathway.net/

http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579

http://homepages.nyu.edu/~er26

http://www.egroups.com/group/depression-cause-cure


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