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436 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Fri Apr 28, 2000 10:46pm Subject: Note to new people on the list If you are new to the list, please print out the article from the pdf file on either of the two sites below. This will give you everything you need to know about using the self-help measures in a pamphlet form. If you can't print it out, please send me a mailing address and I will put one in the mail for you. Ellie
http://www.home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway or:
Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Wed May 3, 2000 10:54pm Subject: Soul murder Ellie, I always hear just what I need from you. Boy, were they not there for me. physically, emotionally, spiritually. I was never raised. I was left to fend for my self. My father was gone for the first 3 yrs of birth. I lived w/my cold non communicative grandmother who lived in her own little shell-total isolation-NO friends, No one EVER visited her, She spoke to no one in the neighborhood, the kids in the block feared & made fun of her. My mother & grandmother fought every single day, screaming & yelling, calling names. It was awful. Then when my father returned home after 3 yrs., they all fought, screamed. I was forgotten but not allowed out of their site. They watched me under a microscope. I could not play w/the kids in the neighborhood. Have anyone over. The only attention gotten was when there was a crisis, & crisis & chaos was daily. I'm told it was like living in a war zone. I was alone and defenseless in a war. Yes I do want to hurt them. I may never get over wanting to hurt them. I blame them for the way my life is. Anger is not enough. They need to pay reparations. >
> my parents 'Never' said anything other then 'we love you, you are special to us, we waited a long time before you came along w/hugs attached.' but it never felt good because how they acted did not match what they said. Why it was so hard for me in talk therapy to hear any internal messages, they weren't t & still aren't there's, but Mine from what I felt observed as a kid. Does this compute? Laura You bet it computes! For me it was 'Do as I say, not as I do.' Talk therapy is just not enough to get out all the justifiable anger you have for this soul murder. They may never pay reparations, but you can beat on the sickness in them each time you pound on the bed while thinking of them. Ellie 439 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Sun May 7, 2000 0:12am Subject: Prison project update Hello, I thought you might like to know I received a letter from the Presidency of Sount Africa (Mr. Thabo Mbeki's office) in response to my letter below, i.e his Administrative Secretary said it would be brought to Mr. Mbekis' attention as soon as possible. Mr. Mbeki is under fire for consulting two American scientists who do not believe that a virus causes AIDS. AIDS in Africa has included many more heterosexuals, and it wouldn't surprise me if the abusive circumcision rights of females has contributed to this. I'm delighted the toxic mind theory will reach him, and hope he will help distribute the pamphlet. I've had a good response from other African nations too. Maybe Africa will be where the Garden of Eden is first restored. Here's the letter I wrote him: Elnora Van Winkle, Retired Research Scientist, Millhauser Laboratories of the Department of Psychiatry, New York University School of Medicine. Mailing address: Murray Hill Station. P.O. Box 893, New York, New York 10156 USA March 20, 2000 Re: A solution for the AIDS epidemic and for violence Dear Mr. Mbeki, I am a retired neuroscientist and of the opinion that the HIV virus is not the cause of AIDS. There is growing evidence to support the long established view that toxicosis is the major cause of disease. Toxicosis might include drugs and improperly metabolized food substances. It has come to my attention that the following crops are readily found in sub-Sahara countries: sugar, wheat, corn, coffee, cow's milk, tea and tobacco. None of these products are well metabolized by the human body, are therefore toxic, and contribute to the cause of physical disease. Viruses, bacteria, and parasites thrive in a toxic body, but are not the basic cause of disease. There are growing movements toward avoiding these non-nutrients and changing to diets of natural foods. Doctors are still using drugs that can only alleviate symptoms, but cannot cure. Although not yet in published reports, there are many who now have the HIV virus, but have not developed AIDS because they have changed to healthy diets of mostly raw foods. But even more important, I am writing to tell you of the discovery of the biology of mental illness and violence, now published in a medical journal. Mental illness includes addictions such as the sex addiction, which can contribute to AIDS. Addictions cause a weakening of certain areas of the body, which exacerbates the toxicosis. Based on this discovery there are self-help measures in the pamphlet, The Biology of Emotions, which can alleviate aggressive behavior and all addictions. I have been sending this pamphlet to prisons throughout the world, including Kenya, The Democratic Republic of the Congo, Zambia, Zimbawe, and Swaziland. I believe people in prisons are at a bottom and may be 'ready to hear' These simple self-help measures can heal not only violent behavior and addictions, but physical illness as well unless the disease has reached the stage of irreversible organic damage. When the sympathetic nervous system is cleared out using these measures, it can do its daily job of detoxification, and this will help to relieve the toxicosis that causes AIDS and many other disorders. After the use of these measures for about a year, the nervous system is better able to detoxify peripheral organs and this means improved physical health. Persons who have recovered will be attracted to healthier foods, such as raw fruits and vegetables, and will not tolerate substances that are toxic to the body. I am retired without funds for this project. Please help by having the pamphlet translated and distributed in your country not only to ALL in prisons but through as many other channels as possible. Yours sincerely, Elnora Van Winkle Rererences: 1. Comby, Bruno, Maximize Immunity, Marcus Books, P.O. Box 327, Queensville, Ontario, Canada, (905-478-2201), 1994. 2. Diamond, Havrey & Marilyn, Fit for Life I & II, Warner Books, New York, 1987. 3. Schaeffer, Severen L. Instinctive Nutrition, Celestial Arts, Berkeley, California, 1987. 4. Tilden, John, Toxemia, The Basic Cause of Disease, Natural Hygiene Press, Bridgeport, Conn. 19
> yesterday I worked hard with my body and loved the experience and was feeling high till I went to bed but this morning I wake up very low energy and depressed all day long (I was drained) certainly not enough cortisone but I wonder because where do I get the energy to work hard like that. why I can do that and pay the price only the next day if it is just the cortisone. Could it be that other hormones or chemical could be secreted in the brain or elsewhere and give me this high and this energy to compensate for the fact that I can't secrete more cortisone in case of stress like that. Do you understand what is happening? Should I avoid this kind of exertion or is it like pounding on the bed helping me to release some repressed anger. When you talk about the high and the low (depression) during the redirecting process, what is happening physiologically during those lows after the release.? Coco Good for you. No, it is not the cortisone. Can you get a doctor to take you slowly off of that. Is it just adding to the toxicosis in your body. Forget about linking cortisone to your highs and lows, its levels are secondary to what is going on. Please read my scientific article. It is not too difficult to understand. http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26/toxicmind.html When you release anger and redirect it, you are releasing excess noradrenaline from neurons into the synapses. This is the same effect as an antidepressant. The excess noradrenaline overexcites post-synaptic neurons and makes you feel high. But also released during these detox crises are dopamine, serotonin, GABA, endorphins, etc. When these attach to the receptors they clog them up and have a depressant effect. This is why you later feel depressed and tired. The next trigger of a detox crisis will relieve the depression. It's a periodic detox process, and you will have highs and lows. These will diminish in time in intensity and frequency. That you felt depressed next day is a great sign you are doing the work of detoxing. Yes, yes, keep doing the exertion if during the exertion you are mentally redirecting anger to past abusers, which is like pounding on the bed. Read this again from Cindy. "I have continued to mentally redirect and connect the "bad" feelings--any feelings of becoming small, vulnerable, feeling less than, feeling abandoned, alone, stupid or ugly. Since I usually feel "small" around other people I do this mentally even at work. It levels out my low mood within minutes. My lingering depression which lasted for almost a year is pretty much lifted. It works!! I am feeling so much better. The beating on the bed didn't work for me. Instead I am in a cycling class with pumping, aggressive, outrageous music, and as I am cycling like a madwoman I am imagining my strength at decimating my tormentors. It is very physical and I feel so released. Their faces appear less and less." Cindy Ellie 442 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Mon May 8, 2000 8:49pm Subject: Going off medication Dear Coco, It might be a good idea to wait until you are post flood, i.e. when the major mood swings are gone and you no longer have the depression, to try going off the cortisone. This would be a good idea for going off any medication, i.e. to wait until most of the toxicosis in the brain is gone. Then the central nervous system can better control the regulation of peripheral hormones and other functions. Ellie
Have you been on cortisone 19 years? or how long? Ellie Yes 19 years and on thyroxine for 14 years. Coco Most people go to the doctor when they are having symptoms, which are detox crises. Thyroid activity is likely to be hypo during detox crises, which is when most people get tested. This is because there is excess adrenaline (which increases metabolism) released during detox crises, and the thyroid does not need to put out hormone to keep the metabolic rate up. These hormonal imbalances are secondary to what is going on in the brain, and when the toxicosis in the brain is cleared up, the levels return to normal. My doctor tried to put me on thyroxine too, but I told him no thanks. My thyroid hormone levels are now normal. Hope you can get off this too as soon as you are post flood. We have an old expression in my family..."I'll be a monkey's uncle" if it turns out you have permanent damage to adrenals or thyroid. I was on 6+ different meds DAILY NON STOP for 30 years, and the only permanent damage I have is some in the pancreas, possibly due to alcohol, and even this may be healing itself or certainly not so extensive that the rest of my pancreas can't do its job. Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Tue May 9, 2000 11:12pm Subject: A BLESSED EVENT Just as I was writing the last post about abnormal hormonal levels, I had a phone call from Switzerland from Lynn (see her story below). She was unable to hold a pregnancy, and while I have no direct proof of this, I suspect it was related to abnormal hormonal levels. She used the self-help measures last spring and became pregnant again. She gave birth on Monday morning to a son. She told me her doctor couldn't believe how little pain she had. Ellie Lynn's story. What made a difference to me was the redirecting concept to give back the anger to those who triggered it. It did not fix my marriage--it salvaged it. We were talking about separation. Guess what the main reason for a divorce would have been--'uncontrollable outbursts of violence' on my part. I had been chronically depressed for 25 years. Now it is three months that I haven't felt depressed. I can't believe I am even saying this, having turned round and round in circles for 10 years in therapy. The second crucial point was about nutrition, with some principles to follow to help the physical recovery process. And some reassurance as to why it is so difficult to stop taking drugs (alcohol, sugar and coffee being my three top ones) and how I could hope for getting slowly weaned as I get better. Now I trust my own body and soul to know the way." Lynn 446 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Wed May 10, 2000 1:51am Subject: Re: body aches and blood pressure > Ellie, Don't think I've read anything about body aches included with redirecting. I recently redirected alot of current anger -dealing with present justifiable anger, so no buildup as before....I have had all these horrible body aches, had a massage and there were knots all in my body, of course she was able to release them, as I screamed, which she encouraged...... feel like new woman...I figure as in the past 6 months releasing the anger, someone got some of the other lodged in my muscles. Had a few pretty intense things happen in last 6 weeks, which actually brought my blood pressure from 157/110 to 127/76 for 4 weeks now. Something you'd think would raise my blood pressure doesn't now and used to 6 weeks ago. > Sally
Ellie
Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Mon May 15, 2000 0:29am Subject: Many ways to release anger Here is a list of ways to release anger from a psychologist, who has also kindly offered to help with prisoners in Belgium. Be sure to redirect the anger to all past abusers when using these.... Some ways to "do" anger: slam doors or cupboard doors yell, scream, shriek (into a pillow if necessary) (or go to an airport & stand out near where the planes are revving their engines and getting ready to take off and yell there. No one can hear you, you won't even be able to hear yourself) play pinball (or if you can find it... there's another game at some arcades where these little guys pop up & you're supposed to whomp 'em with a mallet as fast as you can. We LIKE that one!) weed the garden, the lawn, & anything else in sight stomp when you walk (sounds stupid I know but try it. Our therp told us this one. She's a dance therp.) take a pair of jeans, hold it by the ankles, and whack the hell out of your bed. tear up a phone book (put work gloves on first if you can to avoid paper cuts. Yell while you tear, if you want. Tear the pages out, tear 'em in half, throw 'em all over the room when you're done) do a dance of anger (I know it's the title of the book. But try it literally. Dance therp, so we do this, right? Works... feels self conscious at first but works.) make a collage (We did this early on when we couldn't voice or embody anger. Got posterboard, red and black paint, started out by pouring a puddle of black onto the posterboard & then taking a scrunched up newspaper & going splat! splat! splat! Also scribbling hard (don't use the lils' favorite crayons, you might break 'em) and finding pictures... I looked for volcanoes, nuclear explosions, stuff like that) visualize volcanoes & nuclear explosions This one's just a "deferring" technique, I think, but it can be done quietly in bed or in class. _Be_ a volcano, feel the anger/lava roar up from the pit of your stomach, explode out the top of your head & spray all over the room. Repeated eruptions are O.K. throw things our favorite. Not random things; safe things like pillows at the wall or bed. Some people use that bataka bat thing but not us, we like to throw things. Repeatedly. Hard. kick a ball around the room clear the room first. we do this in therapy. Guess kicking a rock down the street would work too. run not _our_ favorite, but some folks get a lot out of it. Running or other hard physical exercise. Heck, for that matter... housework preferably the kind that involves _scrubbing_ things, not tidying. I used scrubbing floors a lot since I was a cleaning lady for about 15 years after I left the lab. I really got things clean and earned good money! Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Mon May 15, 2000 0:38am Subject: Seafood--great for the brain > Hi Ellie > I love sushi! I also love sashimi. I think it tastes like the healthiest food on earth. I like Japanese food in general. It is very lean and mean food. The Japanese are among the longest living people on earth, and it sure isn't because their lifestyle, so it has to be because of their food. Frank Post flood people like you are likely to be attracted to raw fish. I eat a lot of Arctic Char, which is a wild salmon, and many supermarkets and fish markets carry this. Be sure to eat the wild, rather than farm raised fish. The wild salmon females, which are lighter in color, have more fat, and I'll bet you will find it even tastier than the leaner fish. The brain especially needs fat for the neural connections. The problem with animal fat in standard American diets has been with cooked fat, which becomes carcinogenic. Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Mon May 15, 2000 3:31am Subject: Re: thoughts on Mother's Day > Hi Ellie, > As you wrote yesterday was painful for me, but it was joy filled pain. My husband and I took in a local Scarborough Faire, and I got to witness a LOT of healthy mother/daughter/grandmother and even a great grandmother spending the day together, laughing and just enjoying one another. Quite a few of the characters told stories that honored their mothers. And one Friar told me a mother's day story that I'll use to make some changes in me and hopefully help me to be a better mother/grandmother. Because of the healing work I've done around my mother, I actually missed her yesterday, and like you, I believe my mother finally KNOWS what love really is, knows I loved her best I could, just as I truly believe she loved me as best she could. When I look back at my mother, she did a better job of parenting than her mother, who did a better job than her mother. Growth is taking place in our generational tree and I just happen to have a few more tools available to me than the women who came before me. And I see in MY daughter a woman who is going to be healthier still than I was able...AND because of recovery, your work, the 12 Step program, therapy and many other avenues I've used, my grandchildren already have such freedom and joy in their lives I just stand in amazement knowing it's because of who MY mother was and did, I am who I am today...and am now am able to grow into the women I was created to be! My mother, the bird lady of Palm Beach Florida, The Lavender Lady of Florida, the lady of the evening of Bourbon Street New Orleans, the ONLY woman I've ever known to be escorted OUT of a country (Ireland paid her passage and put her on a boat), the ONLY woman I've ever heard of who walked along a road in the mountains of NC tossing the trash out of the ditch back onto the highway as she screamed at the cars, "it's your trash, I'm just giving it back to you,: the woman who drove four young children through a Black Bottom of Columbia SC just so her children would SEE how some people lived in cardboard boxes just to stay alive; the woman who drove us through a graveyard to talk with us of death; the woman who every summer from the time I was 6 until I was 14, drove me 6 days a week to swim practice, all summer long, 8 AM practice; the woman who made sure I got to attend Girl Scout camp every summer from the time I was 7 until I was 14; the mom who was a Brownie Girl Scout leader; who donated a kiln for the local Boy Scout troop; the mom who allowed her son to sell Cokes at the local little league game even if it meant she had to be with her every moment; my mom, a most amazing lady! > > thanks for let me think about my mom once again this morning. This woman who also KNEW of my sexual abuse and did nothing to protect me, who sacrificed me out of her own painful incestual past, this woman who married a violent alcoholic who she knew raped her, this woman, what opposite, from the evil of evil to one who struggled harder than anyone else I know to love. I REALLY saw in my mom, it is next to impossible for adults to give to others that which they themselves may never have experienced. and this grants me some peace this morning, for I also spent some of yesterday reflecting on the GOOD things I did for my children, but I was also painfully reminded of the many damaging things I did to my children, for again, I could not give to them that which I had never seen. > > My son, turned 30 this year, and any day will have born to him his fourth child. He only has contact with one son, and now this latest child is suppose to be a son also. The pain he has in his life, knowing he has two other children, lost to him because of his alcoholism/drug addiction. The pain he experiences today as he struggles to stop smoking, a crutch he has used to numb from his painful childhood since the age of 12. The pain he experiences today as he struggles to be a better dad than his dad was for him, and how in so many ways he is, but in so many other ways he is actually so very much JUST LIKE HIS DAD. I cannot tell you how many times this son says to me, "mother, you just need to FORGET about the past, live today, listen to your instincts, forget about working so hard making everything into a recovery issue, and just be happy." He has NO idea how much he treats his son, just like his dad treated him, how I would love to leave the past in the past if it were not being lived out in the present right before my eyes. Because I have made the conscious decision to remain in my son's life, to be a better "Nana" than I ever had a grandmother, I have chosen to walk through his pain with him, I get the continual opportunity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. > > I cannot MAKE my son do the self help/therapy/life lessons he needs to do in order to really heal and move forward out of the pain of his past. I can continue to work on me, and role model healthier, more functional ways of living. and for this day, that is about all I choose to do. To FIRST love me, that love will so overflow out of my life, it will flow like a river into the lives of those around me, and hopefully, because of who I am, this river of love will so flow to the sea of humanity and be a healing water of life for all. > > Have a GREAT day Ellie! Today, the first day of the rest of our lives. Today, the present to be opened in THIS moment. Today, a good day to die, but an even better day to live! Today, I think I like today! thanks for listening, Jill Thank you for sharing your Mother's Day. I never could have any pictures of my mother in my home, but I have now framed a lovely picture of her holding me in her arms when I was about 3 years old. I see the terror in my eyes and the equal terror in hers, and I understand her suffering. I now know she and I are united in joy and there is no more fear in my life or in hers wherever she may be in spirit...Ellie Yüklə 5,47 Mb. Dostları ilə paylaş:
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