This file contains all the messages in the Yahoo group currently located at the link below. This will allow you to read through the messages off-line

75

From: Elnora Van Winkle

Date: Tue Dec 7, 1999 5:16am

Subject: Depression
Dear Elnora- When small emotional upsets come up for me, they're usually anger, but about stupid things, so I ignore them too often and don't work with them (to redirect to the original source). When bigger emotional upsets come up, they show up as depression or restlessness, and I don't feel like acting on them with the response of anger. I just feel disengaged. I probably am not getting the concept right. Can you suggest how I can use this process better when I feel down? When the depression comes on, I don't feel much like banging on my pillow. Thanks.

Sheril,
Dear Sheril,

I would use all those small upsets if they trigger anger--release and redirect it. If you're angry about some small thing, it's likely to be mixed with repressed anger from earlier times, so try to use it anyway to redirect. Let's say you do something compulsively and make a mistake, you might get mad at your parents in your mind, and say "It's your fault I'm compulsive like this." If you feel restless, same thing. "It's your fault I'm not content." Go bang on the bed if possible.
But depression can often follow some detoxing even if you were not aware of it. Most of the time I found I just had to go through it--put a sign on the refrig that "It will lift" It will lift the next time your brain is triggered and goes into a detox. Some, though have found that they can use the depression to consciously trigger a detox. Here is Frank's story from the Testimonials. Keep rereading the archives for other tips.
>>"I was touched by your story. It is truly wonderful and speaks volumes for the efficiency of this approach. I had a major depressive episode that almost cost me my life. I was in despair. I tried screaming and hitting inanimate objects to turn the depression into anger. The results are astonishing. My depression lifts immediately. I found my repressed anger against my mom, and worked at it so effectively I really understand where the term "flood" comes from. I feel much better. I had my worst suicidal attack while on an antidepressant. I no longer use antidepressants. I have lost interest in TV violence. I know I have more work to do and that this is a gradual process. I am unable to properly express how important I think the work is that you are doing. You are doing a monumental effort to save the world and the souls in it. Frank" <<
Ellie

76

From: Elnora Van Winkle

Date: Tue Dec 7, 1999 2:05pm

Subject: Excitatory nervous symptoms

Here's a reminder about what excitatory nervous symptoms are. Please keep studying the articles to see how to recognize them. And below is the Abstract from the scientific article. It's a very simple theory, and if you get the idea, the self-help measures will come naturally. When I developed the theory I had no one to tell me how to do it, only my understanding of what was going on in my brain. Most people find they can easily understand this by reading the Abstract. If it doesn't make sense to you, please let me know what it is that is confusing to you.

Ellie
Recovery can be speeded up if during the day we recognize excitatory nervous symptoms as signals of emerging anger. Rather than suppress the symptoms, feel the fear, recognize it as underlying anger, release and redirect the anger. The pounding in the chest when confronting someone in a current interaction is a sign of repressed anger related to our parents. This anger can be released by pounding on a bed and yelling at our parents while picturing them or thinking about them. We are NOT attacking them but the sickness in them. If it would be too noisy to yell out loud, the anger can be redirected by talking quietly to our parents in our mind. Parental voices stay in our heads saying things like, "You should be ashamed of yourself," and saying, "Get out of my head," helps. Other symptoms that signal emerging anger are anxiety, neurotic fear, panic attacks, compulsive thoughts or behavior, mania, paranoia, and resentments. These are all detoxification crises and opportunities to release and redirect anger. Go through the fear and other symptoms to the anger and redirect the anger. It is important to mentally redirect anger all through the day. Symptoms might be cravings for stimulants, chemical or psychological. They might be guilt or low self-esteem or suicidal thought; these are caused when anger is turned inward. Symptoms might be misdirected anger, rage, or aggressive behavior toward someone who may be innocent or partially innocent. If anger is intense and out of proportion in a current interaction, much of it is repressed anger from previous trauma and needs to be redirected toward past abusers. It is important to do this as if at a meeting or in therapy and not to direct anger toward others in person. If intense anger is triggered in a current interaction, the appropriate anger can be expressed calmly after one has released most of it by pounding on a bed. It is not necessary to remember the early trauma in detail. Characteristics of similar abusers, for example male or female authority figures, are laid down in common neural pathways, and it speeds the detoxification process to think of all past abusers during a detoxification crisis. These might include relatives, bosses, persons in authority, partners, or friends. Even notions of God as a parental authority are stored together with characteristics of past abusers and it helps to get mad at God as well. The real God is helping us to heal.

Abstract -- The continual suppression of emotions during fight or flight reactions results in atrophy and endogenous toxicosis in noradrenergic neurons. Diminished synaptic levels of norepinephrine are associated with depression. During periodic detoxification crises excess norepinephrine and other metabolites flood synapses. The norepinephrine overexcites postsynaptic neurons and causes symptoms ranging from mild anxiety to violent behavior. Some of the other metabolites, which may include dopamine, epinephrine, serotonin, gamma-aminobutyric acid, peptides, amino acids, and various metabolic waste products, are bound by noradrenergic receptors and alter neurotransmission. When they prevent norepinephrine from exciting postsynaptic neurons, depression returns. A mechanism is proposed for the binding of norepinephrine and for the effects of the other metabolites, many of which have been thought to be neurotransmitters. The diverse receptor proteins presumed to be specific for false neurotransmitters may instead encode specific memories. The shift in depressive and excitatory behavior is characteristic of nearly all nervous and mental disorders, including addictions, Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease, and psychosomatic disorders. When toxins accumulate in regions of the brain that control specific activities, the symptoms observed will be related to those activities, giving rise to supposedly distinct disorders that represent the same detoxification process. Recovery can be facilitated by therapy and self-help measures that involve the releasing and redirecting of repressed emotions.
77

From: Elnora Van Winkle

Date: Wed Dec 8, 1999 4:24am

Subject: Creativity
Dear Elnora,

I spent several years in traditional psychotherapy and recently started working with a primal therapist.

On my quest for balance, clarity and flow (my version of Janov's normal), I have had a nagging question -- since 98% of people in the world easily qualify as abnormal, isn't this abnormality the VITALITY of life? I want to be rid of the pain, but not at the expense of my drive, ambition or creativity? What happens to art, music, writing, dance? As an optimist, my hope is that I will be more effective in the world post-primal but this question remains unanswered. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Abel

Dear Abel,

This is a very valid question and many, I dare say as you did, most people in the world who are still neurotic, would challenge that post primal (post flood) people are really normal. If you search the lives of those who have recovered (and those few who perhaps did not need this recovery) I think you will find they are far more creative than those who are 'driven' by 'ambition'. Judith Herman, in Trauma and Recovery, writes about the great work that people do to help others in various ways because of their own recovery. I was so dumb prior to my recovery that even though I ambitiously worked for close to fifty years in biological psychiatry and published many papers, I never really knew what I was doing, and produced nothing of value. After I detoxed my brain, I easily relearned intricate biochemical interactions and developed a new theory of neurotransmission, that some day (perhaps not in my lifetime) will shake up scientific thinking. Recovered people (in Scientology) report increased IQ, and ease with learning, and creative potential far beyond their earlier capacity. BUT we are not driven, no longer work compulsively, and create according to our talents--and with ease and pleasure.
I visualize a new world in the next Millennium, where music is more like Haydn and less like Beethoven, art is pleasure and less like the recent 'dung on the Virgin Mary' at the Brooklyn Museum, dance is joyous and not sorrowful, computer experts have us connect with each other even faster, and architects build beautiful homes for all. This recovery, starting early this century with Bill Wilson, Janov, Miller, and on and on, I believe is the Apocalypse, the end of the old sorrowful world, and the beginning of a new and truly vital world.

Ellie
78

From: Elnora Van Winkle

Date: Wed Dec 8, 1999 8:12am

Subject: Art
Speaking of art and the 'dung on the Virgin Mary' painting (Sensations at the Brooklyn Museum) -- what a great way to get his anger out at his mother. I doubt if the artist knew this, but still it was a healing work of art.
I doubt if Mary was the good mother--sounds like a creation of the early church. Mary lived in Sepharis (spelling?) a town never even mentioned in the Bible, and Jesus clearly rebuked her several times. I suspect, like Buddha, he left an abusive family.
Some of Alice Miller's paintings are very much like anatomical depictions of tangled neural connections in the brain. Perhaps she unconsciously knew her neural pathways were clogged up.

Ellie
79

From: Elnora Van Winkle

Date: Thu Dec 9, 1999 8:42am

Subject: Scientific proof
I am sometimes asked whether there is substantial evidence for the toxic mind theory, which provides the proof that the self-help measures are effective. Here is more background.
The original scientific paper, which I will post in January, provides the proof needed for this theory. I worked in research in biological psychiatry for close to fifty years, starting at the Rockefeller University, where I published with DW Woolley, who was an early originator of the serotonin theory, which is disproved by my discovery. It's not that my discovery disproves the past research, but it provides a new interpretation of the results and a new view of how neurotransmitters work. I later worked at Millhauser Labs, Dept of Psychiatry at NYU Medical School where I was on the faculty and staff for 20 years. In 1962 we discovered a toxin in the urine of schizophrenics. We didn't understand it's significance, but my theory now explains this. I spent several years in the medical library searching for more evidence for this theory and there is NO evidence in the literature that does NOT support it. It is a very revolutionary view of neurotransmission, and those who are intent on drugging people, and suppressing the very symptoms that are healing, are not likely to support this. My former colleagues acknowledged this theory, but have since avoided me. Most of them are pursuing psychopharmacology. Drugs may be necessary at times, but hopefully are not used long term. The evidence is so overwhelming that I originally wrote it as a book, much too long for publication. But such a book would not convince those who are in denial. I am working on a book but it is simply my story, not for providing more evidence.
Of course it will take years to amass statistical data that will further prove this. This is why I am sending it to masses of people, to all prisons of the world, and now to all homeless if possible. The final proof will be in its prediction that violence will end. As you know from 12 step programs, it is part of the ninth step of amends, described by Melody Beattie as 'Dealing with those who harmed us.' 'It works if you work it,' as they say in the programs, but it is also already proven to work because it is based on proven neurophysiological mechanisms. I'm finding it only reaches about 1% of the people who are exposed to it. This is because in those whose brains are still toxic nerve impulses are being diverted, which means thinking can be distorted, and even delusional. A delusion is simply a false belief, in this case, in past theories.
Ellie
80

From: Elnora Van Winkle

Date: Thu Dec 9, 1999 9:04am

Subject: Santa Claus
If you have read Alice Miller on the subject of Santa Claus, you know he is not a good guy, but an invention of parents who want to control their kids, and not allow them their justifiable anger...be good or Santa won't bring you any presents!
Someone sent me a Santa game. The elves go on strike and Santa decides to make bowling pins of them at really let them have it with a big bowling ball. I thought if any of you are into using computer games to get your anger out, you might like it. You could pretend the elves are past abusers. Please reply if you would like it as an attachment. It takes several minutes to download on your email system (1514K). Sometimes my Netscape gets an error signal from people's e-mails, but it usually repairs itself. I was able to download it and it did not appear to have any viruses, but if you want it it's at your own risk.
Ellie
81

From: Elnora Van Winkle

Date: Fri Dec 10, 1999 3:03am

Subject: Santa Claus
Dear D-A list,

In the Santa Claus game, you control the ball. It's a great way to line up ALL past abusers and really let them have it. It takes a minute or two to download (1514K) but I found no virus attached.

A note to newcomers to the list. Welcome to the list, please keep rereading the article to understand the simple biology, and read all the archives starting at the beginning. I prefer not to repeat things on the list, so it's important to take your time and read through all the archives.

Ellie
Self help for depression is on:

http://www.home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway/depression.html

The same article entitled Self help for addictions is on:

http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579

The longer version entitled Self help for emotional disorders is on:

http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26/depression.html
82

From: Elnora Van Winkle

Date: Sun Dec 12, 1999 4:33pm

Subject: Gurus
I want to explain that this list is set up as a mailing list, not because I am a guru, but because the article is confrontational. I have found by sharing it on interactive lists that I have been open to sometimes intense anger misdirected toward me. Sometimes the anger has been in the form of rather nasty remarks about my being a guru, or that this is some kind of cult. This has been abusive and very painful for me. I was an abused child and after developing the toxic mind theory, I devised these self help measures and found they speeded my recovery and brought me to post flood, ie post primal, rather quickly, and relieved me of the severe emotional disorders I suffered most of my life. I will be posting the scientific article in January and I hope you will read it. I stand by and defend the science, which supports these self-help measures, but I cannot be expected to defend this to people who are not neuroscientists.
My intention on this list is to offer this understanding of the biology to others, but I need to remain as anonymous as possible and protect my privacy. Some of you have asked to meet personally with me, but I don't feel this would be wise while you are in the process of using the self-help measures. I need to remind you that when I developed the theory I was alone with no person to guide me. The understanding of the simple biology was all that I needed, and is all you need to use the measures and recover. I am very happy to answer any questions about the science or the self help measures by e-mail, but I cannot debate it with you. You may have doubts about the theory. I didn't thoroughly understand the details of the scientific evidence myself until I was actually post flood, because my neural pathways were still somewhat clogged up. My mind was still toxic. When you are post flood you will more easily understand it and accept it. I would like to suggest you concentrate on the short article and use the self-help measures as they are described. If you have serious doubts about the theory or whether it will work for you, please seek other avenues for recovery. This self-therapy has been shown to 'work if you work it,' but it is NOT the only way.

Ellie
Self help for depression is on:

http://www.home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway/depression.html

The same article entitled Self help for addictions is on:

http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579

The longer version entitled Self help for emotional disorders is on:

http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26/depression.html
83

From: Elnora Van Winkle

Date: Mon Dec 13, 1999 5:17am

Subject: Post flood people
I've been asked--where are all the post flood people? It's a good question. There may not be too many. When I was still codependent, I used to count the number of birthday and Christmas cards I got to determine my self worth. Post flood people have no need to do this. They are friendly and know many people, but have no need for a large circle of codependent friends.
I've lost touch with most post flood people who used the self-help measures. Others have written to me only once that they developed the same measures long before I did. Still others have told me they are post flood using various experiential therapies, other than primal therapy. Janov wrote up some stories of his post primal patients, but most of his books are out of print. I believe he is still writing and look forward to his future books.
Some post flood people have written a brief summary and answered the

questionnaire in my Welcome message. I've summarized some of these in the Testimonials and Archives. I hope more of you will do this when you feel you are post flood. It's of course not a sudden point of cure. I define post flood as when MOST of the repressed anger related to childhood is gone, mood swings are minimal, and detoxification crises have pretty much ceased. Primals are detoxification crises, and I believe Janov defines post primal also when these have pretty much ceased.

If you want to read more stories you might try the Scientology web page. Scientologists have a longer questionnaire that pretty much gives an idea of what people are like who have become 'clear' through their Dianetic therapy, which also clears neural pathways. And some of these people have posted their stories on that site. They tend to be confrontational and also coerce their people to stay around and 'clear' the world, as they say. It is not my intention to coerce anyone to stay on this list. I do sometimes confront people, but generally would prefer to offer this and let go if people are not interested. I need to protect myself from the misdirected anger I often get if I confront. Both primal therapy and Dianetic therapy are expensive. The self-help measures are free and given in the spirit of helping as in 12 step programs. I think people who have become post flood using these measures will naturally want to offer it to others if they are 'ready to hear.'

Ellie
Self help for depression is on:

http://www.home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway/depression.html

The same article entitled Self help for addictions is on:

http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579

The longer version entitled Self help for emotional disorders is on:

http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26/depression.html
84

From: Elnora Van Winkle

Date: Tue Dec 14, 1999 1:52am

Subject: Red=anger
Dear Ellie

Did I tell you about my "thing" with the color red that's been healed lately? All my life pretty much, I've avoided red. In the last few weeks since making friends with my feelings (specifically dealing with my anger) I've also made peace with the color red, to the point that I went out and bought a beautiful garnet or ruby (not sure) ring that I wear everyday as a visible reminder of my new found empowerment and energy, validation and autonomy, all gifts of recognizing and properly directing my anger, which will eventually transmute to love, power, creativity and confidence. I'm also including a couple of vibrant shades of red prominently in my wardrobe now, which I've never done before. Feels good! I had a spontaneous experience a couple mornings ago, of just how powerful this releasing process is. I was making juice, and the part of the juicer that collects the pulp didn't want to attach properly. In the past when this has happened I've gotten all frustrated and disgusted with myself (i.e. therefore I'm not doing it perfectly!!!; I'm not good enough!) :-). This time I just let loose immediately and started yelling at my mom and cursing her for making me feel so inadequate. I even banged the cabinet a couple times with my soft soled shoes. Very, very cathartic, lasted only a minute, but when I was done I felt GREAT. If I can keep doing this, I know I'm on my way. And yesterday I spilled something, which usually sets me off, but I actually started laughing about it, because I felt the energy of anger going back to the proper source immediately instead of building up inside of me and making me depressed or irritable. I haven't been depressed for a few days. I know I will have some depression as I release more anger, but this feels like progress to me and I'm delighted. Enough for now!

Shirely
I identify so much with your story. My mother dressed my sister in blue and me in red, and I hated it. I think there was so much rage inside me I was afraid of the color red. Now I too love it.

Ellie
85

From: Elnora Van Winkle

Date: Tue Dec 14, 1999 6:49am

Subject: Red
Shirely and Ellie,

I usually get my nails done every other week. Last week the girl said "You are getting red this time (for Christmas) and I said that I really disliked the color red. And I do! It represents too much activity for me! I do not feel relaxed in its presence. Interesting phenomenon about the anger issue!

Mary
Dear Mary,

I'm not surprised to hear so many identify with this. I still don't wear a lot of red, and I don't love to get angry, but I'm not afraid to get angry anymore when it's appropriate, because my anger is mild--it's no longer mixed with repressed rage from childhood. It's interesting red is so prevalent at Christmas time, which is often a very difficult time in family get-togethers, maybe a time when people would like to get angry but are afraid, so the wear red to express it. Who knows, I'm not much into psychological explanations. I hope by next Christmas you will enjoy some red nail polish.

Ellie