43
From: Elnora Van Winkle
Date: Sat Oct 2, 1999 6:31am
Subject: 12 step programs
All the addictions are based on the primary addiction to people. What happens in 12-step programs is that our addictions are transferred to people, and we form co-dependent relationships ad nauseam. Co-dependency is the underlying addiction, a merry-go-round of relationships that can never be happy, but are useful as opportunities to release and redirect anger at parent substitutes. Once you know this and use the self-help measures to redirect your anger, you will heal from co-dependency and all overlying addictions.
Ellie
Self help for depression is on:
http://www.home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway
The same article entitled Self help for addictions is on:
http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579
The longer version entitled Self help for emotional disorders is on:
http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26
44
From: Elnora Van Winkle
Date: Tue Oct 5, 1999 3:50am
Subject: Co-dependency
Ellie,
I have a question for you. You mention co-dependency every now and then on the list. What exactly is co-dependency? How would you describe it?
Frank
Dear Frank
The self-help measures in my article are related to the ninth step of recovery from co-dependency described by Melody Beattie (author of many books on co-dependency) as 'dealing with those who have harmed us.' The 12-step program CODA has lots of literature on codependency with descriptions of the characteristics, some of which are:
seek intimacy at the first meeting
fall in love without knowing the person
confuse love with pity
too quick to forgive
acquiesce when something painful is said
fear of rejection
anticipate partners needs, not our own
compulsive need to make everything right
confuse lust with love
coming from a dysfunctional family
being a care-giver, especially to the needy
attraction to emotionally unavailable people
fear of abandonment
excessive people pleasing
willing to wait and hope for love
taking more than 50% of responsibility, guilt and blame
low self-esteem, don't believe we deserve to be happy
need to control our partner (or be controlled)
drawn to people with problems that need fixing
not attracted to people who are kind, stable, reliable and really interested in us, find 'nice' people boring.
BUT this literature doesn't say much about the real reason we get into co-dependencies. The best way to describe co-dependency is that it is an addiction to people, and it is the basic addiction. All the overlying addictions are but tips of the iceberg. When we are not given the love we need as babies, we continue to form dependent relationships with others. But believing we can get the dependent kind of love we didn't get as babies is really a delusion. We can never have that dependent kind of love we needed as babies. We can only have that from God in my opinion, but when we have recovered we can give and receive real healthy love from another person, which I like to define as 'caring about the well being of another." What's nice-- I find that I can give and receive real love from another even though that person is still somewhat co-dependent themself. And co-dependency is not some evil thing. It's when it is over the line that it is a problem. Even people who are still very co-dependent can give healthy love--they are on this path of releasing anger and forming healthier relationships even if unconsciously.
But back to the point--co-dependencies are relationships formed (unconsciously) for the purpose of re-enacting the parental relationships. We are attracted to people who are like our parents, and there is a physiological need for these relationships because they are opportunities to release and redirect the justifiable anger we should have been allowed to have as children. The falling-in-love syndrome is a signal of codependency, but this does not mean co-dependencies should be avoided. I made the mistake of talking about avoiding them earlier on the list, and this is only possible when one is far along in recovery. The further along in recovery the healthier our relationships become. But we need these relationships early in recovery. Co-dependencies are useful, and if one understands this and is in recovery, a co-dependent relationship can change into a healthy loving relationship. If we are on the path of releasing and redirecting the repressed anger, the craving for people, in codependent sense, will slowly diminish along with all the other overlying addictions.
Ellie
45
From: Elnora Van Winkle
Date: Tue Oct 5, 1999 4:04am
Subject: Correction re co-dependency
I see I need to correct the way I put this in my previous post.
All the addictions are based on the primary addiction to people. What happens in 12-step programs is that our addictions are transferred to people, and we form co-dependent relationships ad nauseam. Co-dependency is the underlying addiction, a merry-go-round of relationships that can never be happy, but are useful as opportunities to release and redirect anger at parent substitutes. Once you know this and use the self-help measures to redirect your anger, you will heal from co-dependency and all overlying addictions.
Ellie
Please allow me to correct this and say
Co-dependencies can never be happy "as co-dependencies"--this does not mean they cannot change and become happy.
Ellie
It's nice not being perfect.
46
From: Elnora Van Winkle
Date: Tue Oct 5, 1999 9:08am
Subject: 12-step meetings
My comment about transferring addictions to people at 12-step meetings referred to AA, OA, etc. I used to measure my self worth by how many cards I got at anniversary meetings. I wasn't referring to ACA or CODA where people don't form co-dependencies, but begin to deal with and recover from their basic addiction.
Ellie
47
From: Elnora Van Winkle
Date: Wed Oct 6, 1999 4:16am
Subject: Co-Dependencies
> Dear Ellie
> Thank you for your excellent explanation and wise words on co-dependency. My regard for you becomes greater every day. You truly are a very wise person, a rare gem in this strange world. Your response helped me a lot, and confirmed what I realized just last night: my current relationship with my girlfriend is a co-dependent relationship. With her I re-live my relationship with my parents, in VERY many ways. And I agree with you: It is as an opportunity to understand, and deal with, my dysfunctional relationship with my parents.
>
> I have a question though: How do I best deal with being co-dependent. Do I only need to identify connections to my past and redirect anger towards my past abusers, or is there more to it? How do I best deal with this situation?
>
> Thank you very, very, very, very much. I am very grateful to you. You bring tears to my eyes.
> Love, Frank
Dear Frank,
You bring tears to MY eyes because of your progress with this, but please don't give me all this credit. This understanding of the biology was a gift from my higher power and I'm someone who found it speeded my recovery. I make lots of mistakes in trying to convey this to others and I learn from all of you. I know from what you have written that you have probably done the major work of releasing repressed anger (you may be post-flood by my definition i.e. about 95% of the anger related to earlier trauma is gone), BUT there is lingering anger (and grief) that will come out over the next year, after which you will no longer be co-dependent and I hope your relationship will be smoother. Some of my co-dependent relationships ended, others lasted and became much healthier. I wouldn't worry about the concept of co-dependency, but just recognize it as the lingering but basic addiction that will be virtually gone when the muddy basin period is over. And yes, you said it when you wrote:
"need to identify connections to my past and redirect anger towards my past abusers"
This is exactly what I did. When someone rejected me, if my anger was intense, I recognized it as a mix of old and new, and did some pounding on the bed or just mentally redirected anger. If I was paranoid about something someone said, same thing. If I felt fearful about confronting someone, I knew the fear was a signal of underlying anger and did some more redirecting. In time the anger was less and less a mix of old and new and more to do with the current interaction. Now I can confront someone in a current situation if necessary without fear. Remember not to suppress anger in current interactions even when it becomes mild and not mixed with anger from old trauma, because you can reclog.
Ellie
Self help for depression is on:
http://www.home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway
The same article entitled Self help for addictions is on:
http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579
The longer version entitled Self help for emotional disorders is on:
http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26
48
From: Elnora Van Winkle
Date: Mon Oct 11, 1999 7:10am
Subject: clearpathways
I chose this logo 'clearpathways' because recovery is about clearing the neural pathways, especially those where memories of early trauma are stored. The way to clear these pathways and restore normal emotions is to redirect anger during detoxification crises, which are excitatory nervous symptoms.
The point I refer to in my article as post-flood is when about 95% of the repressed anger related to earlier trauma is gone. It was the suppression of anger that caused the flood ie the toxicosis in the noradrenergic and sympathetic nervous systems, and which resulted in symptoms. There is also some toxicosis in the parasympathetic nervous system. This system is more involved with the expression of grief and is usually overpowered by the actions of the sympathetic system. This means that feelings of grief are less likely to appear and need to be expressed until one is post flood and has released most of the anger. During the muddy basin period after the major flood of repressed anger is gone, there is lingering anger that needs to be redirected and there may be intense grief. This period for me lasted about a year. Now I have anger when appropriate but it is no longer intense or mixed with anger related to earlier trauma. And I feel sadness, but it is no longer for me, but for others. I have what I call a sustained euphoria, which is not a 'high,' but is freedom from anxiety and distress.
My reason for choosing the post-flood point as important is because this is when the major work has been done to relieve the toxicosis, ie by releasing and redirecting anger. It is the point at which mood swings, periods of 'highs' followed by depression should be pretty much gone. I also chose this because I need to reassure prison officials that prisoners at this point would not tend to behave violently toward others. The feelings of grief that follow don't need to be redirected, but just felt. The lingering anger does need to be redirected, and it is important when it only about current interactions that the anger is not suppressed, or one can reclog and have symptoms.
The point of post flood correlates with Janov's 'post-primal', ie when the major primals (which are detoxification crises) have stopped. This point also correlates with the point of 'clear' used by Scientologists who have undergone Dianetic therapy. The Scientologists have a questionnaire to tell if one is 'clear' that is similar to the one I constructed and put in the Welcome message. Scientologists are aware there is more work to be done. From what I have read, this point of 'post primal' or 'clear' takes many months or years to achieve in therapy, whereas if one uses the self-help measures in my article consistently at the first sign of excitatory symptoms, this point can be reached in a few months.
Ellie
Self help for depression is on:
http://www.home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway
The same article entitled Self help for addictions is on:
http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579
The longer version entitled Self help for emotional disorders is on:
http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26
49
From: Elnora Van Winkle
Date: Tue Oct 19, 1999 2:01am
Subject: Update on progress
I'm pleased to say the article has now been sent to all prisons in these countries:
USA, Canada, England, Wales, Scotland, Ireland, Australia, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Singapore, Japan, Cyprus, Estonia, Latvia, Kenya, Thailand, Zimbabwe, Romania, and Slovakia.
." The Lord sets the prisoners free. "Psalms: 147:7
--prisons of bars and prisons of the mind.
Slovakia even translated to Slovak for me, and others have offered to do this.
The article is now posted on my web sites in Arabic, German and Russian. I expect to have it soon in Spanish and French. If you liked the illustration of the talking neurons, you can click on the Arabic version and see them talking in Arabic.
If you are new to this list, I'd like to remind you I don't often post here, because everything you need to know to use the self help measures is in the articles and archives. I hope you will read and reread them.
Ellie
Self help for depression is on:
http://www.home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway
The same article entitled Self help for addictions is on:
http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579
The longer version entitled Self help for emotional disorders is on:
http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26
50
From: Elnora Van Winkle
Date: Wed Oct 20, 1999 4:55am
Subject: Progress report
Thank you for your support of the progress. I do get angry at people's denial and it helps me to focus on the positive comments. Although the theory is proven by science in the original technical article it seemed good to include testimonials in the articles. Here are some comments I put in the testimonials.
"Beautifully formulated and expressed." Reviewer, The Journal of Theoretical Biology.
"Pioneering. I have been writing for decades about how nations go through cycles of feeling toxic and then going to war to purge themselves." Lloyd de Mause, Psychohistory.
"Extremely impressive, promising." Editor, Psychophysiology.
"Compelling and intriguing." Reviewer, Psychiatry.
"When I read your abstract it was as though all the dots in my brain connected. Thousands will read it. I am incorporating the principles in my therapy and will give it to friends who work in prisons." Psychotherapist
"I will be writing a paper about this for a school psychology journal. "School psychologist.
"You are absolutely correct that when one of our wards decides to set out on the path to recovery, self-help as well as structured programs such as the twelve step are effective. Your personal biography adds perspective." Director, State of California Youth Correctional Agency.
"Thank you for your information. I found it very informative and helpful. I really appreciate it. I also respect your continuous effort to fight against violence." Corrections Bureau, Ministry of Justice, Japan
"Thank you. Kindly send us copies of your pamphlet. We will gladly forward them to our prisons in Kenya through diplomatic channels." US Ambassador from Kenya.
"Thank you, we are very glad to co-operate, we will distribute the pamphlets to our 15 prisons. Prison Administration, Latvia.
"I am happy to distribute your material. I appreciate the value these programs can have in work with offenders. I will ensure that it is distributed via our INTRANET to all centers throughout the state of Queensland." Department of Corrections, Queensland, Australia.
The article has been sent to all prisons in the USA, Canada, England, Wales, Scotland, Ireland, Australia, Norway, Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Singapore, Japan, Cyprus, Estonia, Latvia, Kenya, Thailand, Zimbabwe,
Romania, and Slovakia.
"And they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore." Isaiah 2:4.
Ellie
Self help for depression is on:
http://www.home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway
The same article entitled Self help for addictions is on:
http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579
The longer version entitled Self help for emotional disorders is on:
http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26
51
From: Elnora Van Winkle
Date: Thu Nov 4, 1999 6:34am
Subject: Toxicosis
I have wanted to give you some background for the toxic mind theory upon which the self-help measures are based. My discovery of the toxic mind as the basis for the symptoms of emotional disorders came after a study of a movement called Natural Hygiene (a book called Fit for Life led me to this), which adheres to nutrition as a means of cleansing the body and restoring health. My discovery came from a correlation of the principles of Natural Hygiene, the work of Alice Miller, Janov and others, the principles of Adult Children of Alcoholics, ie Melody Beattie's ninth step "dealing with those who harmed us" and finally 50 years of my research and that of others in biological psychiatry, specifically catecholamine metabolism. I previously published many papers dealing with catecholamines and neurotransmission.
That the self-help measures work is proven by the scientific evidence for the toxic mind theory in my technical paper. I also wanted to send you this information to point out the importance of nutrition. It is much easier to change to a more natural diet when one is post-flood because the cravings for non-nutritious food will have calmed down, but if your physical health is poor it may be necessary to make this shift along with doing the detox of anger, using substitutes such as raw dates for processed sugar, baked potato for bread, etc. My field is not nutrition, and I don't presume to advise in detail about nutrition, but it is an important factor in the healing of the mind. There are a number of food lists that were helpful to me, such as the Raw Food and Paleo Food lists on:
http://maelstrom.stjohns.edu/archives/
I personally eat according to Instinctive Nutrition, by Severen Schaeffer, all raw including animal food, Garden of Eden style, (what tastes good in its natural state is what my body needs, what doesn't appeal or tastes bad my body does not need)--but there are REAL dangers from parasites (some Instinctive eaters have nearly died from parasites especially if one goes into this abruptly, so I do not give advice about which food plan to adopt. But there is general agreement among those I have studied about the need for animal food, especially fat, as raw as possible--many eat Sushi for this-- avoiding grains, dairy, refined carbohydrates, and the need to eat as many raw fruits and vegetables as possible. The Natural Hygiene movement has become vegetarian, and I have learned (sadly through the loss of several NH friends) that long term vegetarianism is deficient in very essential nutrients.
Here is an except from Fit for Life II by Marilyn and Harvey Diamond which explains the concept of toxemia as the source of most disease.
"Review of the Principles
HARVEY:
Regardless of what you are trying to achieve in the area of your health, certain fundamental principles can be used. The most basic of these deserve mentioning. Although these principles are described in detail in Fit for Life, it is important at least to review them. The approach to eating suggested by and described in Fit for Life is designed to accomplish the vital function of keeping the inside of your body clean and in tiptop working condition. When everything is fine on the inside, it is reflected on the outside. Even though Fit for Life addresses itself to energy enhancement and weight loss, its underlying goal is to cleanse the body. Keep in mind that your body, like anything else, can become dirty. If the inner workings of your car become all sludged up, it will not operate well until it is cleaned out. The same holds true for your body. Your insides can be impeded in their operations by uneliminated metabolic waste. You can either clean it out or ignore it. Of course, ignoring it, which in effect is allowing it to become cumulatively worse, makes about as much sense as jumping in front of a speeding truck. How does your body become clogged up-- By what is called a metabolic imbalance, or toxemia. Metabolism is the sum total of all the processes of the body in taking in food, using what it can, and getting rid of all the rest. Stated a little differently metabohsm is the building up (anabolism) and the breaking down (catabolism) of tissue in Ilie body. When waste builds up faster than the body can eliminate it, you become toxic (or poisoned). The more toxic you are, the sicker you can become.
Every day your body breaks down somewhere between 300 and 800 billion cells. Every day! They must be eliminated. Why? Because, besides being no longer of use to the body, they are in fact toxic or poisonous to the body, which is where the word toxemia comes in. Spent cells are dead. If they are allowed to build and build at a faster rate than the body can eliminate them, then you will reach a point where they begin to poison the body and start damaging its internal organs. The breaking down of cells is not the only source of toxic material. There is another contributor to the level of toxemia with which the body must contend. Food! That's right, our old friend that we all know and love. The people of the United States have a diet that has more than its fair share of highly processed and overcooked food. Because the body absorbs nonusable debris and toxic additives from the intestinal tract, there is a slow buildup of food residue and additives (which are toxic) that cannot be used by the body. This waste matter coupled with the toxic debris generated by the breaking down of cells is what creates a metabolic imbalance or toxemia. You want to have a system as clean and free of toxic waste as possible. The key to living a long, disease-free, pain free life lies in understanding and minimizing your level of
toxemia.
Dr. John H. Tilden, who discovered the phenomenon of toxemia in the early 192Os, first laid out his findings in his landmark hook Toxemia Explained. Dr. Tilden was a practicing physician who became disillusioned with the drugging approach to healing and turned to Natural Hygiene. The success he had employing the principles of Natural Hygiene with his patients totally convinced him of the worthiness and excellence of this field of science. He described the extent to which toxemia is the root cause of the many ailments we humans suffer. He demonstrated dramatically that, more often than not,
WHAT WE CALL DISEASE IS NOTHING MORE THAN THE BODY'S OWN EFFORT TO CLEANSE ITSELF OF TOXINS.
Of course, the different problems are given different names depending on the area used for the elimination of waste, creating the illusion that there are thousands of separate maladies when, in fact, most of them are one and the same-- toxemia. To think that every single malady is a distinct and different problem is like thinking that water, dew, ice, frost, snow all have a distinct and different essence. Envision a dike holding back a large body of water. This dike is made of bricks and mortar. Because of a prolonged rainstorm, the body of water becomes larger and larger, putting more and more pressure on the dike. Ultimately, the dike starts to succumb to the ever growing body of water. First, some of the mortar loosens and water starts to trickle through (these are detoxification crises, in the brain it may be a release of repressed anger--my addition). Then some bricks pop out and water starts to come through those openings. With the breach, some the structure itself starts to crack and crumble, and finally the foundation starts to erode, with the result that some of the structure collapses. Finally, the water level becomes so great that water simply surges right over the entire dike and floods it under. The problem here is not the bricks or the mortar or the foundation of the structure itself. The problem is the ever increasing, vast amount of water that ultimately became more than the dike could withstand. There were not four problems, there was one: an overload of water. To understand what happens with toxemia, imagine that your body is the dike and that the water is your level of toxemia. No matter how strong you are, no matter what measures you take to remain strong, an ever increasing level of toxemia will in time take its toll (a youth might kill off a dozen classmates during a detox of anger--again my addition here). It will overwhelm you and lay you low with some malady. This is why I say that the secret to longevity (and sanity, me again!) is in keeping your level of toxemia as low as possible. (for the brain, the need to release and redirect anger at the first sign of an excitatory symptom so as to periodically detoxify the neurons that have become clogged with neruotransmitters as a result of suppressing anger--my last addition here)":
This same Dr. John Tilden wrote the following: 'Drunkeness and crime of all kinds are vicarious toxin eliminations--crises of toxemia.'
Tilden and other early Natural Hygienists were probably abused children themselves, did not understand that the central nervous system works just as the rest of the body in it's effort to eliminate toxins. They had an unfortunate moralistic approach to emotional detox events.
What is different about the nervous system is that nerve cells, or neurons, are formed at birth and generally do not replace themselves. This means they constantly must repair portions of the cytoplasm during periodic detox crises (which are excitatory nervous symptoms). In the hypothalamus, which is not protected by the blood brain barrier, some of the toxins are from exogenous food and other sources. But most of the toxemia in the neurons--toxicosis is a better word since toxemia usually refers to blood--is from excess noradrenaline and related metabolites, which have accumulated in the neurons as a result of the suppression of anger and other negative thoughts and emotions.
Here is the abstract of my technical paper which will soon appear in the peer-reviewed journal Medical Hypotheses. When the paper is published I will have permission from the editor to put the full paper on one of my web sites.
The toxic mind: the biology of mental illness and violence E. Van Winkle, retired, Millhauser Laboratories of the Department of Psychiatry New York University School of Medicine, New York, NY. Mailing address: Murray Hill Station. P.O. Box 893, New York, NY 10156
Abstract -- The continual suppression of emotions during fight or flight reactions results in atrophy and endogenous toxicosis in noradrenergic neurons. Diminished synaptic levels of norepinephrine are associated with depression. During periodic detoxification crises excess norepinephrine and other metabolites flood synapses. The norepinephrine overexcites postsynaptic neurons and causes symptoms ranging from mild anxiety to violent behavior. Some of the other metabolites, which may include dopamine, epinephrine, serotonin, gamma-aminobutyric acid, peptides, amino acids, and various metabolic waste products, are bound by noradrenergic receptors and alter neurotransmission. When they prevent norepinephrine from exciting postsynaptic neurons, depression returns. A mechanism is proposed for the binding of norepinephrine and for the effects of the other metabolites, many of which have been thought to be neurotransmitters. The diverse receptor proteins presumed to be specific for false neurotransmitters may instead encode specific memories. The shift in depressive and excitatory behavior is characteristic of nearly all nervous and mental disorders, including addictions, Alzheimer's disease, Parkinson's disease, and psychosomatic disorders. When toxins accumulate in regions of the brain that control specific activities, the symptoms observed will be related to those activities, giving rise to supposedly distinct disorders that represent the same detoxification process. Recovery can be facilitated by therapy and self-help measures that involve the releasing and redirecting of repressed emotions.
in press, Medical Hypotheses
Ellie
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