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86 From: Elnora Van Winkle Date: Tue Dec 14, 1999 7:41am Subject: A post flood story Since I was asked, where are the post flood people, here is a post Lynn wrote for another list where some were questioning the toxic mind theory and whether the self therapy works. Ellie
I joined this list in February 1999 and found Ellie's material and got deeply interested and involved. The facts were that after enduring 25 years of chronic depression, with the on-set of symptoms going back to the age of 8, and after 10 years of uninterrupted attempts in different therapies that hopefully would enable me to function differently, I had reached a stage where I was able to function socially rather properly, yet had lost almost all contact with my feelings apart short phases of heavy raging and deep depression, which finally led me to commit my 3rd suicide attempt in July 98. A saying goes that the 3rd attempt is the last one, and in my case the fact my life was saved meant I had to find another way out. This most acute crisis took place as, after reading Alice Miller's books, I was getting familiar to Stettbacher's method to self-primalling, and I realized I needed some kind of primal therapy, but self-primalling this way was too heavy and too dangerous, and I saw for myself how it could lead to psychotic episodes which I understood could prove fatal. (I never stopped seeing a psychiatrist over the last three years). Ellie's measure brought me a safer way to practice on my way to uncovering old repressed feelings and sufferings. Her theory guided my steps in the sense of making me able to view my symptoms in a different way. Things I considered sickness before made more sense seen as my body's attempts to heal. My therapy, and my therapist, took a different turn and made a tremendous advance. Little by little, many lost memories of childhood came back, including memories of being held in arms and breast-fed and bathed. Most of the intolerable pain and fear slowly transformed into awareness and deep understanding for myself as a little child. Today, I am working through a stabilization phase, trying to slowly adapt to a new way-of-life and to manage the deep transformation of all my important relationships, including to myself. I have now even been able to overcome the bereavement feelings of having been mistreated as a child, and can be my own mother rather self-sufficiently. To me the point has been: let's see if it works. If it works on me, it'll be sufficient evidence of its validity to me. Having seen the results - and my psychiatrist acknowledges them - I feel the need to keep working at spreading the news. I did Ellie's article translation to French, and I read Aletha Solter's books applying these kind of measures to babies and young children and started applying these principles in my relationship to my 4-year-old son - results are amazing. The fact that things are simple should not suggest they are false. I have found that, with my son, my new viewpoint makes things simple, yet my role is taking me much more energy than ever. Emotional education, I mean allowing healthy growth and giving support whenever needed, IS A DIFFICULT TASK. It is not difficult to understand, it is difficult to perform, especially for someone who has not received it in infancy. I wish the things I have experienced can be of help to some other people, since I believe everyone has a perfectly unique pathway, yet other's examples can make a big difference. I wonder if I would have been so interested into Ellie's theory if she hadn't been using it on herself first. As a conclusion, I wish to share with you all that after three years of trying to conceive a second child, and repeatingly rejecting all embryos, I am now four-month pregnant with a healthy baby. Birth is planned for beginning of May. My marriage has been salvaged just before it got ended, and although it is still shaky, we seem to have good chances to build a happy couple and family in the future. LYNN
Physical health is improved.
Hi, I have a couple of things to ask you about. Is it important to experience redirecting the anger every day? Sometimes a few days will go by and I know I haven't done anything. I just reread some of the letters and I realize I must be letting a lot of small things go on without really thinking about it or letting them surface. When you say a person can become post-flood in 3 months is that from doing it every day? Also I find that I often get the angriest at my children and there are many opportunities then to redirect anger but its impossible to do any banging and or yelling when they are in the house. I know that you've said it can be done mentally but I'm wondering if that is as effective as the other way. Again I appreciate your help and comments. Sincerely, Carol
The people who have recovered more rapidly have used the measures very consistently and often and yes, mentally in the head all day long. The more you can redirect the anger when triggered, the faster the detoxification process will go. It's a periodic detoxification process in the brain, but also in the peripheral nervous system. So both mentally redirecting the anger when it's triggered with interactions with your children and doing the banging on a bed if possible will help. If a few days go by and you're not able to do it, don't worry, you will get plenty of new chances to do the work. When I say it's possible to become post flood in a few months, this means that MOST of the repressed anger can be gone if you are able to use the measures often. But when you have jobs or children to care for, please be kind to yourself and take your time. As you approach the time when most of the anger related to childhood is gone, you will notice you feel less high after a major release of anger, and less likely to have any depression. Post flood is when the major mood swings are gone. After that there is a good year or so during which grief will need to be felt and processed. Also there will be diminishing anger that needs redirecting, and anger that has more to do with current interactions. It will be important to process this as well, or the neurons can reclog. Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle Date: Wed Dec 15, 1999 7:14am Subject: Feeling great Hi Ellie! I'm having such a great life lately-- it just has to be because I'm doing this work. I do a little bit of release work every day, and I'm beginning to catch myself right at the point that the emotions come up instead of after I'm well into a funk or a snit or whatever it is. I can't believe how much it's already helped me. It's really wonderful, because I can see a cohesiveness coming into my experience that wasn't there before. I was too busy (before) searching for a way to FEEL BETTER all the time to actually "get a life." I call it "The Depression Two-Step": On your good days you took two steps forward, but then on your bad days you'd take two steps backwards, and you're just standing in place, really, while your talents and gifts gather dust. But that's not happening now. Even though I know I have quite a bit of work to do, I feel very different already, much more vital and happy. I think much of my joy is due to the fact that I finally KNOW what was causing me problems, and I also know that I have the power to heal myself. No wonder I feel great. Such knowledge is like turning on a light in a dark house. Shirley
I'm so happy it's working for you. I don't want to discourage you, but some of the 'great' feeling is from the 'high' you get after releasing and redirecting anger. Anger is a powerful antidepressant. As you approach post flood you may not feel so high, but should also have fewer mood swings. Then there is grief to process sometimes for a good year. You'll have to blame God for this if you feel any let down...it's the way we were created. But after a year or so there is a sustainable peace that is beyond description and no more pain from the past. Ellie
http://www.home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway/depression.html The same article entitled Self help for addictions is on: http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 The longer version entitled Self help for emotional disorders is on: http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26/depression.html 89 From: Elnora Van Winkle Date: Thu Dec 16, 1999 4:32am Subject: A holiday wish HAPPY HOLIDAYS Here is a holiday wish for you from the Bible. After I left medical research, I was a volunteer secretary at a church where I often typed verses from the Bible, which I had also learned as a child. I am no longer religious (my church turned out to be another dysfunctional family), but I love the Biblical verses, which now have meaning for me. These are predictions that have come true for me and I hope for you too. From Psalm 91..For he delivered me from the snare of the hunters, and from the sharp word; his truth will surround you like a shield; you shall not be afraid of any terror by night; of an arrow flying in the day, of trouble walking about in shadows, of assault, and of the demon at noonday. And from John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. Ellie 90 From: Elnora Van Winkle Date: Thu Dec 16, 1999 6:44am Subject: Young children If you have young children who may need to detox some repressed anger too, Aletha Solter's book, Tears and Tantrums, is an invaluable guide. There is a link to her web page at the end of the article on my site: http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26/depression.html Here is a post from Lynn about this. M (her 4 year old son) started feeling sick on Sunday and after three nights of waking up every hour or so...I think he was having a big detox b/c last Friday some very frustrating event gave him the opportunity to bring out a lot of anger against me and his father. I retreated with him for half-an-hour he went screaming, sobbing and giving me fu prayers - you would have been rather delighted! After about 25 minutes we were interrupted - he would probably have used ten or fifteen more if allowed to - a few minutes later, as Solter tells it, his smile and relaxed posture had returned. It's been now 4 days, his temperature is rather high and he experiences STRONG HEADACHES! Lynn
Ellie
http://www.home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway/depression.html The same article entitled Self help for addictions is on: http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 The longer version entitled Self help for emotional disorders is on: http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26/depression.html 91 From: Elnora Van Winkle Date: Fri Dec 17, 1999 4:33am Subject: Post flood grief Dear Ellie I'm not looking forward to the post-flood grieving, but I'll deal with that when it comes, and I know the raw food and green juices will help enormously. Shirley Dear Shirely, I hesitated about mentioning that the highs will get less and there is grieving to do, but in the past I made the mistake of setting up expectations that this great feeling means one is cured. Perhaps because you are doing the food detox it may not be severe for you. The INTENSE grief period for me (and I had done the food detox) was very short if I recall, a few weeks. Some who have become post flood have not done the diet changes and it seems the grief has lasted close to a year for them. BUT I don't know if there is a connection-- maybe we are just all different or some are able to do the work more intensely than others. I was alone with no job or children responsibilities. There is of course going to be some diminishing anger and grief that will last a good year or more. The flood analogy holds--I call it the muddy basin period. I hope you keep the questionnaire in the welcome message. It will be interesting to see if you have an easier time with this because of the food changes you have made. And the grief is much less painful than the past for all of us, no matter how long it takes. Ellie 92 From: Elnora Van Winkle Date: Fri Dec 17, 1999 5:36am Subject: Civilization -- Dear Ellie, I will get the Sother's book as you suggested. I have a six year old who is already getting stomachaches when she gets afraid. I don't know if she has somehow learned that from me or where it came from. I want to be able to help her. It seems that we unknowingly pass on our neurosis to our children. Perhaps it even starts in the womb where they pick up our thoughts and feelings and then it looks like they were born that way. I don't know but I sure would like to straighten myself out before my children get too much older. Thanks for the Holiday wishes. I think I too am no longer religious as I have given up looking for a church. It became too frustrating to try and relate to people who always seemed to be unreal with me. I used to think that people in the church were so much holier than I was. Then I would find out things that they had said or done that were wrong or hurtful and I would realize they were not what they pretended to be. This would make me feel confused and disappointed and then angry. I questioned my faith in God and wondered if He really has the power to change lives as so many churches claim. I'm still not sure, I would like to believe but I need more evidence. Perhaps it is a problem of misinterpretation of Scripture and God's truth is there but not many can see it. Ellie, do you think that people have become less able to express honest emotion? Have there been times and cultures where people were less repressed? Is it a result of our modern civilization? It seems to me that most people are neurotic and not very real. When you become post-flood and I assume more real, how do people respond to you? Do they think you're strange? I would like to hear your thoughts on these things. Carol
Dear Carol, I've hesitated putting too much about the Scriptures on this list because as I mentioned I've been accused of being a guru or that this is a cult. I'm just someone who happened to have the science background and be able to correlate my recovery with the biology and discover the biological basis of all this. Having done that, the self-help measures came naturally. The self-help measures are not new with me, but doing them at the first signal of emerging anger, which can speed things up, is what is new. I learned the Bible very young and now see that this way of recovering was very much a part of Jesus' message. I'll bet it's in other spiritual literature besides the Bible too. Buddha took off from his family, his father forced a wife on him, and he even called his first child, 'Impediment.' --too bad he got into meditation, which can be another way of drugging the emotions. Anyway, as I recovered I began to understand that Jesus was no doubt an abused child himself. He left his family, rebuked his mother, and all the subsequent authority figures in his life. The dysfunctional church has conveniently for themselves left out all his messages about this from their lectionaries. They have misunderstood his message because their minds are still toxic and prone to delusion. If you read his words I think you will find they have great meaning for you as you progress. I even think his miracles of healing (emotional and physical problems) may have had their basis in the fact that he routinely had his own anger and helped others to do so too. I wondered why it didn't spread in his time, but then there was no Internet or even mail. The people who wrote about his miracles wrote it so much later that they would have had no way of knowing how he helped people and unless they recovered themselves would not have understood his messages. I think questioning God and getting mad at him is very much a part of the recovery process. Characteristics of God (as we learned them) are mixed with our ideas of parental authority and when you get mad at him you are really getting mad at parents and this clears neural pathways. I definitely see this as a problem of civilization. How we got off track and why I hope to find out when I die. Early man ate more wisely and naturally (I now eat Garden of Eden style). And in places I've visited where people are more primitive they appear much healthier emotionally, in the Amazon basin for example. In India they are terribly abused and stricken. I have a picture of two little children fighting fiercely over a dollar I gave one of them. It makes me cry to look at it. I was very impressed with the health of children in China, where they have a one child policy. In the Galapagos I walked up to a beautiful mother bird sitting on her eggs. She had no neurotic fear of me, but I'll bet her fight or flight response was in tact if I had tried to attack her--no civilization here. I visualize a better world as people recover that combines more natural living with the advances in technology. Addictions will cease, eg. the sex addiction, and populations will diminish. The compulsive needs for power, money, etc. will cease. Violence will end and creativity will increase. The need for medicines will diminish. People won't need to 'fall in love' anymore. They will love in the true sense, which I believe is to care about the well being of others. Let me not go on and on, you get the idea I'm sure. I am very friendly post flood, and people respond by being much more open to me. I make casual friends easily (but not codependencies) with shop keepers, and all kinds of people. I love people, but I also protect my privacy and love being alone. I don't think people think I'm strange, unless I would start to tell them all about this. Then they would feel threatened because it is confrontational. Ellie Self help for depression is on: http://www.home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway/depression.html The same article entitled Self help for addictions is on: http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 The longer version entitled Self help for emotional disorders is on: http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26/depression.html 93 From: Elnora Van Winkle Date: Fri Dec 17, 1999 7:06am Subject: Post flood friendships A PS to Carol's question whether people find me strange. I mentioned I have many new casual friends because I am friendly. I no longer frighten people as I used to. But I am also developing close friendships with some post flood people, not that we need to be together or communicate all the time, but I feel an intimacy and closeness that I think will be lasting. At one time I had the notion that my function on this list might be to form a dating service for post flood people! Who knows! Ellie
http://www.home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway/depression.html The same article entitled Self help for addictions is on: http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 The longer version entitled Self help for emotional disorders is on: http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26/depression.html
Thanks,
Ellie 95 From: Elnora Van Winkle Date: Sun Dec 19, 1999 5:29am Subject: virus alert Some one told me the Elf bowling game I sent to two of you is a virus set up to damage C drives on Dec 30. I don't know if this is true, there are lots of scares put out about viruses, but PLEASE DELETE it any way. Thanks,
Ellie 96 From: Elnora Van Winkle Date: Sun Dec 19, 1999 6:14am Subject: Virus alert My apologies about the elf bowling game I think I sent to two of you. Please don't take chances-- delete it. I have deleted it from my C drive and also from my recycle bin. Ellie
http://www.home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway/depression.html The same article entitled Self help for addictions is on: http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 The longer version entitled Self help for emotional disorders is on: http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26/depression.html
Suggest you look at: www.symantec.com (makers of the Norton Anti-Virus) has to say about it. It is a big HOAX. You were duped like the rest of us. (((((((((smiling)))))))))) Self help for depression is on: http://www.home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway/depression.html The same article entitled Self help for addictions is on: http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 The longer version entitled Self help for emotional disorders is on: http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26/depression.html Yüklə 5,47 Mb. Dostları ilə paylaş:
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