Modern Business Writing



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5.2.5 Exercise

Decide what type of complaint the following complaints are and choose one that you are going to respond to in writing.



  1. Your customer complained that another customer received a reduced rate, but he paid the full price. He insists to also pay the reduced rate




  1. You had a product on special until yesterday. An elderly woman complains that she couldn’t get to your organisation yesterday and insists on still getting the product at the old price



  1. A customer wants to change the order after it has been processed


  1. A very rude customer complains about a rude staff member



  1. A customer complains that one staff member made a promise and another now says that the promise can’t be fulfilled as it’s against the policy



5.3 E-mail
5.3.1 Adopt the correct approach
It is accepted that e-mail is mostly used for memo-type communication.
Obviously, e-mail must conform to the usual rules of written business communication.
There are people who misuse the convenience of e-mail – and swamp co-workers by sending them information they do not need, in an age of information overload.
Some people cannot resist the temptation to send some communications (like the fact that they will be away on the 21st ) to the whole company!
Remember: NO E-MAIL IS EVER COMPLETELY PRIVATE. IT departments back up their networks regularly and the records are there for many years.
So … e-mail should be used professionally … but often it isn’t ;-)
So be careful what you send – you may just click on the wrong key and send it to the whole company – including the MD.
Hi my mate :-))

So how’s life hey? Hey?

You wanna hear a good jokE?

Pop by my office and i’ll tell you sometime!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The boss was really p’ed orrrrrfff this morning wasn;t he? }8-(

Hey where is that report you promised me? ;-(

I’ll be werry pleased if I can have it by lunch time

PPPPPWWWWWEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZ?????????? )

With a rose

@---


Luv ya

S
5.3.2 Exercise


Please assess the following e-mails. Consider the content, structure, layout/format, tone etc. Decide what type of impression each would make on the person receiving it.
Example 1
HI JOHN
I AM A XYZ CAR DEALERSHIP IN ILLOV.IHAVE SPOKEN TO JANE IN CONNECTION WITH

YOU WANTING TO ACQUIRE A DEMO MODEL.IF YOU COULD KINDLY FURNISH ME WITH DETAILS AS TO WHICH CAR YOU ARE LOOKING FOR i.e. 1600 OR 1300 AND ALSO +- YEAR OR A BIDGET AS TO WHAT YOU WOULD LLIKE TO SPEND

I CAN TRY TO SOURCE A DEMO FOR YOU IF

I DON’T HAVE ONE IMMEDIATELY AVAILABLE.


REGARDS
GEORGE

xyzdealer@car.co.za

tel:(011) XXX-XXXX

fax:(011) XXX-XXXX

cel: 08X-XXX XXXX
Your evaluation:
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________


Example 2
Hi!

 

To celebrate my new 17MB Internet line (not yet available in SA I am afraid) I'd love to try something new. 



 

On Thursday evening, at 7pm, I will present a free 60 minute seminar on starting your own business. The concepts will apply to both online and offline businesses, and the goal is simple: To remove ALL the risk from your startup.

 

You will need a PC and a little Internet. The faster the better, but we tested the system yesterday, and a volunteer ran into the Kalahari with a GPRS connection, and she could hear and see just fine. Strangely, she kept coughing as she spoke, but she could text us to ask questions. (At least it sounded like coughing, but then the Kalahari can do weird things to a person.)



 

So, if you know anyone who is considering starting down this very lonely entrepreneurial road, won't you please invite them to register here: https://www1.gotomeeting.com/register/465161553

 

And then let’s have a fun interactive session at 7pm South African time in your lounge/study/office/bedroom.



It's not a sales exercise. But I'd like to test how many folk we can talk to at the same time. (Our research shows that about 20 times more folk are searching for help opening businesses than are looking for help closing them.) We're limited to 500 seats. So don't delay.

 

No animals were harmed in the creation of this uber-green event. No flights were taken, and no cars were used. This live, online seminar has a zero carbon footprint. 


Peter Carruthers talks about how to take all the risk out of starting your own business, whether offline or online. It's interactive. It's online. And it should be fun. Ah yes, and did I mention it is free?

Register before 5pm today, and you WILL get the relevant password. After that, who knows.

Title:         How To Start a Business From Scratch


Date:        Thursday, August 6, 2009
Time:        7:00 PM - 8:00 PM CAT
All the best

Peter Carruthers

5.3.3 Replying to clients e-mails - example
Reply
Subject line: Fw: Lawyer required to sue for outstanding debts
Good day Christine,
Please see below the details as required. Should you whish to use these attorneys, you need to give us the details of the defaulters and we will refer it to the lawyers.
WRIGHT ROSE-INNES INCORPORATED

MICHELE RENNIE

PH: 011 646 9991

FAX: 086 635 8496

E-MAIL: micheler@wrightrose.co.za  
POTGIETER MARAIS ATTORNEYS

MIKE POTGIETER

PH: 012 342 0343

FAX: 012 342 0372

E-MAIL: mike@potgietermarais.co.za  
Regards,

Debby van der Westhuizen

Accountability Administration

Telephone  0861 90 90 90 

Fax  0861 90 90 91

www.accountability.co.za


Original


Sent: 31/07/2009 02:26 PM
To: info@accountability.co.za
Subject: Lawyer required to sue for outstanding debts
Could you please give me contact details of your appointed lawyers to help me recover a debt from a business in Central Johannesburg and one in Central Pretoria.

 

Thank you



 

Christine Maslow


General Manager
Informatica
Tel (011) 963 3621
079 325 2463
christine@informatica.co.za


5.3.4 Practical session
Write an e-mail to your team in which you invite them to a lunch on Friday to celebrate your team’s success in exceeding the monthly target.

5.3.5 E-mail etiquette

In e-mail usual standard social rules still do and should apply. By adhering to them, you not only enhance your e-mail communications – you could keep yourself and your company out of legal and regulatory trouble. 



Be careful using e-mail at work 
Companies are increasingly establishing guidelines regarding the use of e-mail. This is to protect themselves legally and to ensure resources are not abused. Employees need to be familiar with these policies. An adequate policy should spell out what is appropriate and inappropriate use of e-mail. 

Short e-mails communicate better
In the age of the Internet, attention span is limited. A short e-mail message that goes straight to the point is more likely to be read than a long message. If a longer message is necessary, then attach a file.
Use a clear and descriptive subject line 
Most e-mail users see only the address of the sender and the subject line of incoming e-mail. The subject line could be the difference between an e-mail being read and ignored. A good subject line is typically less than ten words, clearly describes the content and avoids words all in upper case and exclamation marks.

Spelling and grammar still applies
Write to your audience. Poor writing can leave a negative impression of the writer and the writer's organisation. To avoid this, you can set up Outlook to automatically spell check e-mails before sending them out. 

Limit the number of recipients 
Make sure only appropriate people receive a copy. You will not only be doing recipients a favour, you’ll be increasing the likelihood of your e-mail being read.

Use a signature 

It is standard polite practice to identify yourself. E-mail programs have an option to automatically append information to identify the sender. This file can also include your name, organisation, job title and any other relevant information. Include a telephone number to the signature of the email. This will give the recipient the chance to telephone if necessary. It is not necessary to include your email address as the recipient can just reply to the email. When replying eliminate all the information that is not necessary. Only leave the sections of text that are related to your reply. This will save your reader time when reading your email.



Respect the privacy of e-mail addresses 

When sending e-mails to multiple recipients, do not put in an e-mail address in the To or Cc field if one or more recipients have no need to know that address. If sending an e-mail to multiple recipients and you don't want the recipients to see any other address, then put the list of addresses in the Bcc field. 




The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form.

Evan Esar




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