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528 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Sun Jun 25, 2000 9:34pm Subject: Cause of depression-Finacial aid from parents > Ellie, > You said in a post in the February archives that guilt is anger turned inward. Isn't depression also anger turned inward? GM Guilt is anger turned inward and a good trigger to get the anger out and redirect. It's our parent's voices in our heads saying 'You should be ashamed of yourself for....' Strictly speaking anger turned inward is not depression, but depression is the result of the toxicosis and misdirected anger at others or turned inward. Ellie > Also, is it possible to get out the anger sufficiently if you are still somewhat financially dependent upon a parent? I have been on Disability for several years, and am being rehabilitated through Vocational Rehabilitation, however, my financial circumstances are so dire while I'm going to school that I need and receive some help from one parent. Will this hold me back in my recovery? GM Not at all, this is why I think it is important NOT to confront parents in person. (unless it's done much later when you are post flood and you feel it appropriate or that it might help them.) I would not jeopardize any financial aid you may get from parents...you earned it, even if you have to hold back feelings when dealing with them. Ditto for being on Disability, don't go running to them and tell them you are cured and don't need their help. I was on Disability for several years until I reached 65. It was a gift from God, since I was married to a compulsive gambler who broke me financially. Ellie 529 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Mon Jun 26, 2000 5:57pm Subject: Re: Falling in Love > If I were open to falling in love again, I would not pretend politeness and approval of all the opinions and actions of my new interest. I would be honest and upfront about my own preferences instead of seeking only common ground and ignoring obvious areas, which could be major sources of discord. This does not mean I would seek a mate that is a "Siamese twin." It means I would be more realistic than romantic. GM Post flood people are not likely to fall in love and yes, they would be naturally capable of intimacy and honest sharing. Arthur Janov reports that post-primal people often marry but more for companionship. Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Mon Jun 26, 2000 2:24pm Subject: Guilt/Remorse I don't like to get into psychological theory because I think it is contrived by toxic minds to explain behavior and is not especially useful in this recovery. But I do want to explain guilt and remorse based on what is really going on in the brain. When neural pathways are clogged up (especially those that would allow us to direct anger at past abusers) anger gets misdirected inward or toward innocent or partially innocent people. Often we feel guilty, but not remorseful because the anger is justified, just misdirected. Think about how many people in prison for abusive crimes have no remorse. The guilt is just more anger misdirected inward, our parental voices saying 'don't talk back' or 'you're bad.' This is why I suggest redirecting every time guilt surfaces. BUT this is not a license to repeat the action. The way to avoid this is to keep doing the redirecting. Guilt for me was usually mixed with fear, fear of getting caught or fear of the reciprocal anger of the other person. I was constantly apologizing, but it was to avoid the other persons anger or to try and keep that person as a friend. Even post flood--the muddy basin period seems to last forever--I sometimes misdirect anger, never to any extent but out of carelessness perhaps. For the first time in my life, I can feel true remorse, very different from guilt, no fear attached. It is more like an awareness of the hurt, compassion for the other person, and an immediate desire to relieve their suffering by making amends. Ellie 531 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Tue Jun 27, 2000 9:33pm Subject: Love-gurus > < Ellie>> >
> Hi Ellie, >
> I believe I understand the concept above. I'm going to try it in my 'language'. >
> Post flood people are capable of loving very deeply. They transcend 'falling in love'. Falling in love is based most often in our society on infatuation and need. This need includes the 'rush' one feels when 'in love'. Post flood people seldom have infatuations and instead, 'recognize' a partner who is most suited to them in terms of companionship qualities, and feel a deep love for them. The marriage of two post flood people most often endures in time and closeness, as few marriages manage when people still carry the anger from past woundings. >
> The reason I'm trying to reword this, is because I think that some may balk at the idea of being post flood if it takes away one of the few pleasant experiences they find right now (falling in love). >
> Are my words similar to what you are saying? GM Beautifully put, thank you, and yes I believe only when one is post flood can deep love for another human being be felt and expressed. For me sometimes this love is the tough love of confrontation but when I'm not mad at everyone's disease I feel this deep love for all human beings. And yes again, people have asked me whether they will still be ambitious and successful in careers, and my response is they will be even more successful because people tap into their true creative power, and are no longer compulsively driven to the 'high' of meaningless achievement. And the 'high' of falling in love is the same, one might not want to think that they will no longer have this experience. In the section on addictions in my paper it explains a bit how we are attracted to both stimulants to trigger detox crises (stimulants result in a high) and sedatives to relieve the pain of these detox crises. It's bit paradoxical and hard to explain. I often think God has been very sneaky to set it up so we are attracted to this 'high' in order to heal. And it is true the 'highs' will slowly diminish in intensity and become less often. But I don't think a person would really be put off by thinking they will no longer have these highs. I think people NEED to keep falling in love or use drugs, or food, or whatever, until they are in enough pain to want to do the work. I think it is more likely that people don't want this recovery because they have not hit a bottom, and are still looking for ways to suppress the symptoms that need to be felt in order to heal. (But don't forget the vicarious detox crises, the episodes of misdirected anger, are much more painful than the redirecting.) And there will still be 'highs' but less intense. I still get a high when I drop a hundred letters to prison officials in the mail, probably due to the release anger toward those who imprison people. There is always a release of noradrenaline during the fight or flight reaction. Best of all there is a sustainable euphoria, which I define as freedom from anxiety and distress. I see it as the peace we were promised in 'peace I give unto you, not as the world giveth.' And it is better than any high I ever experienced. Ellie > I've placed a link below to a site I think of when I think of you. www.walk-ins.com Warm blessings, GM I looked at this site and read that walk-ins are: 'beings who have attained sufficient awareness of the meaning of life so they can forego the process of birth and childhood to return to Earth directly to adult bodies.' Thanks, but I WHOLEHEARTEDY DENY BEING ANY SUCH BEING. There is no evidence for reincarnation. The so-called experiences of past lives that people claim as a result of meditative techniques are due to the way experience is stored in the brain as bits of experience that are like mosaics, broken apart and reformed on recall into new but altered mosaics, ie altered memories of earlier experience. These 'walk ins' sound like special beings, gurus, which I am not. Some have thought of me as a good mother and I deny that too. I'm just a big sister (now 72) among a world full of abused children, and God gave me some insight into biology that supports not only my self help measures, but many forms of therapy, all the way back to what Jesus did. He was another abused child who stood up against his parents and all the substitute authority figures in his life. And he tried to help others to do the same. There was no Internet to help his teachings spread and the early church (which he never founded) went crazy with their codependent control. People tried to make a guru of him too, a king, and his response was...'you say I am' Many people are attracted to my theory and the self help measures, my statistical eye says about 1% 'get it', and one of the rationalizations that has been used by those who don't get it is that I'm some kind of guru and that my work is hubris. I had to look that one up. One editor of a journal called Addiction rejected it as a spoof, and said his colleague was reminded of Monty Python (something to do with the Holy Grail), and he signed his rejection letter 'With laughter' When I confronted him that he and his colleagues might need this recovery he said they were now ready to roll on the floor with laughter. Enough of my ramblings, but I'm not a special being or anymore advanced than the homeless guy lying on the street outside my window. Ellie
From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Tue Jun 27, 2000 9:51pm Subject: Dealing with parents > What I do now when I start feeling down I look for something that could have triggered it. So far I usually do and I redirect it. Like yesterday my mom talked me into lending her money even though she knows that we need that money. Shortly after I got of the phone with her I started feeling like nobody cares nobody wants me around everybody hates me. Then I started thinking why do I feel that way and it's because I didn't say no to my mom when its something I need. After I figured that out I wrote all of the things that I am angry with her about. Then I felt a little better then what I did before I did that. > Do you have any suggestions about how I can deal with my parents now? (I try not to let them control me now but it seems it ends up happening anyways) GM Good for you, keep recognizing your feelings as triggers to do the work of redirecting. When you write the things you are angry about be sure to direct your anger toward her ie in your mind. In time you will not let them control you and be able to deal with them more easily. It doesn't mean you might not want to help them, but you won't do it if it's not appropriate or would mean you are not taking care of your own needs. You might say to her next time something like, 'I'll have to get back to you about that.' Put a little note near the phone to remind you. Ellie 533 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Tue Jun 27, 2000 10:05pm Subject: Movies > Ellie, > I am having a terrible time feeling *anything* but depression; my doctor has me on so many meds! But I found something that helps break up that rock in my chest....movies that make you cry. Last night I watched Armeggedon (Bruce Willis movie) with my daughter and I felt tears flow for the first time in so long...we both cried our eyes out...I was then able to do the mental redirecting while I was crying, because I was able to *feel something.* > > I think I am going to actively seek out tearjerker movies from now on, to help me to feel, and to redirect. There's a connection there between the crying that helps one get to the anger needed....GM If the meds are anti-anxiety meds try to do some redirecting before you take it, but go ahead and take it if you need it, no guilt, if you have any guilt about taking it anyway, turn that to anger and redirect. Same with cravings for sedating foods, like bread, cereals, processed sugar. Movies are great triggers. I think there are two kinds of crying, crying that is involved in the release of anger and crying in grief. You may find you cry more in grief later on. I was attracted to the movies and TV shows I needed to trigger my anger and grief. I found myself watching the Waltons to get my anger out at my mother via the sanctimonious mother and grandmother in that show. Look for movies and TV shows that are about your particular past experiences. Ellie 534 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Wed Jun 28, 2000 10:22pm Subject: A post flood person is normal > What is a "post flood person"? GM The toxicosis in the brain is like a flood of anger in the brain. Post flood is an arbitrary point at which most of the repressed anger is gone. It is when mood swings are minimal. There is usually what I call a muddy basin period that can linger for months or years and a period of grief also follows. Post flood is the same as post primal described by Arthur Janov. Please keep reading the article The Biology of Emotions, which explains it, and normalcy is also explained in Archive 74, which I'm reprinting here. Ellie ******************************************************************* *NOTE: Text Removed from this message, the same text is available in message #74* ======================================================== 535 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Thu Jun 29, 2000 5:49pm Subject: Re: Sympathy Versus Support > I am having a bout of ill health. It follows an elevated mood after discontinuing Lithium. I have developed major and restrictive allergies just in the last two months. I feel tired and a bit depressed at night, but like a "sourdough starter" I rise anew in the morning. >
> When I was younger I wanted sympathy when I didn't feel well. Now I want validation and support from friends and family for the efforts I make to help myself, but I don't rely on them. GM Are you using the self-help measures? The symptoms of physical disease are also detox crises and may get worse for a while if you are using the self help measures. Try to work on eating more raw food, most of us are allergic to cooked and processed foods. I doubt if you will get support from friends and family, but you have my full support and the support of all on this list who read about your efforts to heal. Ellie 536 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Thu Jun 29, 2000 6:02pm Subject: Success with food cravings > When I get the chance, I will write up my experiences of the last week, especially how I redirected in the wee hours and slept awhile but woke up with the need to eliminate coffee, Pepsi, grains and dairy from my diet. Right now, I'm just bringing a fresh fruit cup and sushi to eat at work, as well as drinking spring water whenever I get that hunger pang, most of which was to please my parents by eating all the food they would serve me as a child. GM I'm delighted to hear this good news. The desire for those toxic foods may return, but more redirecting will help to alleviate the cravings. Ellie
http://home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway OR: http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 The longer version, the scientific paper, and my story: http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26 To join the supportive eGroup: http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/Depression-Anxiety 537 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Thu Jun 29, 2000 8:50pm Subject: Homework assignment Make a list of ten ways you released and redirected anger today on a piece of paper. Before you go to bed crumple up the paper and angrily smash it into a wastebasket. It might turn out to be better than a sleeping pill. Ellie
http://home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway OR: http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 The longer version, the scientific paper, and my story: http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26 To join the supportive eGroup: http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/Depression-Anxiety 538 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Thu Jun 29, 2000 10:38pm Subject: Parents/Inheritance Be careful not to confront parents directly and risk losing out on inheritance. You earned it. Ellie
http://home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway OR: http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 The longer version, the scientific paper, and my story: http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26 To join the supportive eGroup: http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/Depression-Anxiety 539 From: Elnora Van Winkle> Date: Fri Jun 30, 2000 1:00pm Subject: My food story-Live food I try not to repeat what is already in the Archives, but have been asked again about nutrition. I am not a nutritionist, and would rather not give advice, but post flood people are likely to be attracted to healthier diets, so here is my story. This is how I recovered from what may not have been a cancerous lung tumor. I never went for the cat scans the radiologist suggested, and my medical doctor didn't think it was cancer. But it was a tumor and I had been quite sick with lung problems. I eat according Instinctive Nutrition on this site: http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/7627/english.html I use Schaeffer's book. I got into this very slowly because sudden changes to raw animal food from the Standard American diet can cause one to be very sick from bacteria, even though the symptoms are detox crises, and some believe the bacteria actually help clean us out. I began with a fast, then ate all raw vegetarian for a while, and then slowly introduced raw animal food, starting with Sushi. The most important factor is to get raw animal fat. Cooked fat is carcinogenic, but raw animal fat is very much needed for good health by the human body. There is a RAWFOOD list on the St John's site where some debate about animal vs vegetable and whether to cook meat. There are also PALEOFOOD and PALEODIET lists for people who cook meat, but avoid grains and dairy. I think vegetarian long term is so deficient it is dangerous. I've lost too many friends who were long term vegetarian, but it's not bad as a transition. http://maelstrom.stjohns.edu/archives/ Here is another site for live food based on Aajonus Vonderplantitz' book, We Want to Live. It would be a more abrupt change but might be best if there is a threat of cancer. It would be a sudden change to lots of animal fat, like raw hamburger, but he has had excellent results with cancer patients and does consultations. I don't think he takes people who are doing chemotherapy. http://www.odomnet.com/live-food/index.htm These are the best approaches I know, and although a radical change from the standard American diet, people are getting results. People who are post flood would find it easier to switch to raw foods, but if anyone is threatened with serious disease it would be good to make changes while doing the emotional detox. The bodies of post flood people don't tolerate junk food and are they are likely to get sick, ie have detox crises. Even is good as my diet now is, I can't expect to find the perfect food, and I still get sick at times. But with a cleared out nervous system to help the daily detoxing, I never get very sick, and I believe I have a chance to avoid serious chronic disease. Here are summaries about toxicosis and how symptoms of disease are healing events. *************************************************************** Toxicosis (from my published paper, The toxic mind: the biology of mental illness and violence) Since the time of Hippocrates it has been understood that symptoms of most diseases, other than degenerative disorders where irreversible organic damage has been sustained, represent the efforts of the body to eliminate toxins (4). Any substance, endogenous or exogenous, that cannot be utilized by the cells is recognized as toxic and eliminated. When elimination is impaired, toxins accumulate. The cells adapt to toxicosis, but when levels of toxin become intolerable the body initiates a detoxification process. Toxicosis is the true disease, and what we call disease is remedial action, a complex of symptoms caused by the vicarious elimination of toxins. Recovery from disease is not because of remedies but in spite of them. The illusion that remedies cure disease is based on the periodicity that characterizes functional disorders. When levels of toxin are reduced to the toleration point, the sickness passes and health returns. But the true disease is not cured. With continued enervation toxins again accumulate and another crisis occurs. Unless the causes of toxicosis are discovered and removed, crises will recur until functional derangements give way to irreversible organic disease. In 1848 Thomas Sydenham, the English Hippocrates, wrote, "[a] disease, however much its cause may be adverse to the human body, is nothing more than an effort of Nature who strains with might and main to restore the health of the patient by the elimination of the morbific matter" (5). *********************************************************** Review of the Principles from Fit for Life II Harvey and Marilyn Diamond
The people of the United States have a diet that has more than its fair share of highly processed and overcooked food. Because the body also absorbs nonusable debris and toxic additives from the intestinal tract, there is a slow buildup of food residue and additives (which are toxic) that cannot be used by the body. This waste matter coupled with the toxic debris generated by the breaking down of cells is what creates a metabolic imbalance or toxemia. You want to have a system as clean and flee of toxic waste as possible. The key to living a long, disease-free, pain-free life lies in understanding and minimizing your level of toxemia. Dr. John H. Tilden, who discovered the phenomenon of toxemia in the early 192Os, first laid out his findings in his landmark hook Toxemia Explained. Dr. Tilden was a practicing physician who became disillusioned with the drugging approach to healing and turned to Natural Hygiene. The success he had employing the principles of Natural Hygiene with his patients totally convinced him of the worthiness and excellence of this field of science. He described the extent to which toxemia is the root cause of the many ailments we humans suffer. He demonstrated dramatically that, more often than not, WHAT WE CALL DISEASE IS NOTH-ING MORE THAN THE BODY'S OWN EFFORT TO CLEANSE ITSELF OF TOXINS. Of course, the different problems are given different depending on the area of me ~ used for the elimination of waste, creating the illusion that there are thousands of separate maladies when, in fact, most of them are one and the San toxemia. To think that every single- malady is a distinct and different problem is like thinking that water, dew, ice, frost, snow all have a distinct and different essence. Envision a dike holding back a large body of water - this dike is main iu, I bricks and mortar. Because of a prolonged rainstorm, the body (water becomes larger and larger, putting more and more pressure on the dike. Ultimately, the dike starts to succumb to the ever-growing body of water. First, some of the mortar loosens and water starts to trickle through. Then some bricks pop out and water starts to come through those openings. With the breach, some the structure itself starts to crack and crumble, and finally the foundation starts to erode, with the result that some of the structure collapses. Finally, the water level becomes so great that water simply surges right over the entire dike and floods it under. The problem here is not the bricks or the mortar or the foundation the structure itself. The problem is the ever increasing, vast amount of water that ultimately became more than the dike could withstand. There were not four problems, there was one: an overload of water; To understand what happens with toxemia, imagine that your body is the dike and that the water is your level of toxemia - No matter how strong you are, no manner what measures you take to remain strong, an ever-increasing level of toxemia will in time take its toll. It will overwhelm you and lay you low with some malady. This is why I say that the secret to longevity is in keeping your level of toxemia as low as possible. ********************************************************* The toxic mind theory was developed based on this insight about physical disease. The symptoms of emotional disorders are also healing events and emotional disease is also physical. **********************************************************
http://home.earthlink.net/~clearpathway OR: http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/Sauna/2579 The longer version, the scientific paper, and my story: http://pages.nyu.edu/~er26 To join the supportive eGroup: http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/Depression-Anxiety Yüklə 5,47 Mb. Dostları ilə paylaş:
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